Remembering Sunday, an one tree hill fanfic

Took me around 2 and a half months to write this. I had alot of help from a good friend of mine, and I really am grateful that she rewrote all of the crap parts in this fic and made them amazing. Which in actuality is more than half the fic haha.

Notes: Pay attention to the little things.
It is a little confusing and I'm sorry for that.

Bold and Italic =Flashback
Italic =Lyrics
Normal =Present

Remembering Sunday:All Time Low

Disclaimer: I do not own One Tree Hill in any way, shape or form.

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Remembering Sunday
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He woke up from dreaming and put on his shoes
Starting making his way past 2 in the morning
He hasn't been sober for days

He sat up in bed with a start. Something that had been happening for a long time now. He couldn't shake the thought. He hadn't been able to for 4 years now. Every night. And every day, he thought about it. He thought about her. He ran his hand through his brown hair, and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He couldn't stay here. There were too many painful memories. Putting on a pair of basketball shorts and a sleeveless t-shirt, he walked quietly out the front door. His flask of malt liquor in his hand.

Leaning out into the breeze
Remembering Sunday, he falls to his knees
They had breakfast together
But two eggs don't last
Like the feeling of what he needs

The streets of Georgia barely made a sound. His footsteps echoed through the street as the gravel crunched under his feet. He didn't know where he was going. But for the past 4 years he usually ended up at the bridge. The bridge that overlooked the interstate. The wind blew against his face as he took a swig of the liquor he held. Looking down at the passing cars below, thoughts ran through his head as tears started falling freely down his face. Her taste. Her smile. Her stunning green eyes. The fact that true love conquered all when they were together. The look in his brown eyes the saddest they had ever been.

Hanging his head, he fell to his knees. The weight that was bearing down on his shoulders was too much for him to take. From the inside out, he felt nothing but pain and misery which seemed to never become numb like he hoped every time he continued to take a sip of the flask. He didn't let her go, but instead he felt as if he drove her away for good. With his own insecurities surrounding him, he did the one thing he wished he could take back; he made her leave.

Now this place is familiar to him
She pulls on his hand with a devilish grin
She led him upstairs, she led him upstairs
Left him dying to get in

He looked into her eyes as she took his hand. Man if look could kill, he'd be on his knees. She smirked back at him and he grinned. Those smirks playing on her lips being the sexiest and most appealing to him. She led him into the bedroom and he crashed his lips into hers. She moaned into his mouth and ran her hands around the back of his neck. He ran his tongue over her lips and let his fingers dip just underneath her t-shirt.

With his lips pressed firmly against hers , she couldn't help but think of all the other times they had done this. The feeling she had right now of being in his arms. It was unlike anything else. To feel his heart beating just as quickly as her own was something she longed to feel besides his soft touch. He eased back from her lips as he looked her in the eye. Fingering the ends of her shirt, she nodded and he pulled it up over her head. Before he pulled her close and their lips collided again.

The tears stung his eyes as they never seemed to stop. The memories that would haunt his dreams forever stayed vivid in his mind. Never altering, nor fading. Her beautiful green eyes would forever remain the inspiration he held close to his heart. The touch of her soft skin, the feel of her perfect lips constantly reminding him that he willingly let her go.

Forgive me, I'm trying to find
My calling, I'm calling at night
I don't mean to be a bother,
But have you seen this girl?
She's been running through my dreams
And it's driving me crazy, it seems
I'm going to ask her to marry me

He tried calling her, but she never seemed to pick up. Whether she didn't want to talk to him or if her guy had an impact on what she wanted. What they both wanted, he didn't know. He threw his flask to the side as he didn't want another drop of what it contained. Inside he knew that nothing would take away the pain he felt every day.

Even though she doesn't believe in love,
He's determined to call her bluff
Who could deny these butterflies?
They're filling his gut
Waking the neighbors, unfamiliar faces
He pleads though he tries
But he's only denied
Now he's dying to get inside

He couldn't take this anymore. He couldn't live with himself. How he had pushed away the only person who had really and truly cared about him. The people that passed him by on the sidewalk looked over him in curiosity, but he didn't care. This disappointment and regret filled him as he knew she was living the life he couldn't have given her.

There they were parting ways for what seemed like the last time. How they got to this point was beyond him but he knew that he wasn't what she wanted. It might have come out of her lips that way but deep inside her heart, he wasn't the one that rested there. Someone else had it and in all honesty she knew that too. He watched as she walked out the door and out of his life. And for a split second he felt as if his dreams were being torn away from him. Sadness fulfilled him in the worst way until she managed to turn around and run right back into his arms. Caught by much surprise and at the same time his hopes had reached an all time high, he so desperately wrapped his arms around her never wanting to let go. They were going to get married; they were going to have the family they always wanted. She belonged to him it was as simple as that. But then again in the back of his mind, he knew this wasn't what she wanted. He wasn't what she wanted.

In the midst of playing this in his mind, he could feel her soft lips lingering along his neck leaving small kisses while he held onto her for dear life. Parting with the love of his life was the one thing that would kill him. It would end everything he could ever hope for. She spoke words that told a story of where she wanted him and only him. It wasn't true, but a part of him wanted so desperately to believe her. He was trying so hard to hold onto those words and turn them into something real but he knew it would never be. Kissing her softly on the head, he sighed fighting back the tears that were threatening to spill. He let her go and she nodded, as if realizing that he knew the truth she didn't want to believe. Bringing her hands to the sides of his face, she pressed her lips against his one last time before she eased back, pain flashing right through her eyes, and walked out of his life. For good.

The tears lingered through his eyes as he looked at the ground. He remembered that night as if it were yesterday. The pain he felt then was nowhere near what he felt now. Every night, he longed to feel her in his arms. Her touch, her kiss. Maybe he had made a mistake all those years ago. Maybe he really was the only one she wanted. That was one thing he would never find out. And even now, 4 years later, he could still remember that day when he knew he would never be the same.

The neighbors said she moved away
Funny how it rained all day
I didn't think much of it then
But it's starting to all make sense
Oh, I can see now that all of these clouds
Are following me in my desperate endeavor
To find my whoever, wherever she may be

He had gone back to the place where he knew she once was. Praying to god that she would still be there, he thought to himself why wouldn't she be. Desperately he was going to try and convince her to come back. The need to have her in his life was consuming him and she needed to know just how much she meant to him. He had to see her. He had to feel her. Night after night, he would gaze over to the other side of the bed, longing to have her next to him. The rain was beating down hard but to him it didn't even phase him as he ran down the sidewalks. Passing house after house, he finally rested upon the one house that mattered most to him. He stood there briefly just staring at it, realizing that it seemed as if no one was home. No car, no lights, nothing. There was that possibility that she was with him, in his arms and in his bed and to think that almost killed him inside. She belongs with me..

Jogging up to the front door, he knocked repeatedly waiting for her to open the door. When no one came, he leaned over peaking through the window. All he could see was the faint outline of her stairs. Shifting his eyes around the room, he came across nothing ,not one piece of furniture or one lonely picture on the wall. It was then that his heart just about leaped up into his throat. Where was she? Where did she go? Paranoia set in and for a split second he thought the worst but somehow he pulled himself back in hopes that he could find her. Looking back over his shoulder, she stared blankly at the other houses before walking over to one. Soaked to the bone, it didn't matter at least not to him. The best thing that could happen to him was pneumonia but then again he wouldn't have been so lucky. Knocking on the neighbors' front door, he slowly brought his head up to face whoever was to answer. Asking where his girl had gone, the news that struck him was something he would carry for the rest of his life.

In one last desperate attempt to get her back, he asked if they could send her a message. By the look in his eyes, the look of complete disappointment and sorrow, he knew they would understand. A few minutes later he was writing down the message he hoped to God would get to her, someday.

The echoes of New York City nightlife filled their apartment as the window was open. She had no idea where her boy was, but somehow she didn't care so much about her fiancé's whereabouts. 4 years ago she left alone another boy that would remain her everything. And she just couldn't get him out of her head. His laugh, his smile. The fact that all he had to do was look at her, and he shared everything she was feeling. Even now, 4 years later, she couldn't shake the feeling that she had made the wrong decision that night. But he pushed her away, and she had no other choice than to walk away.

I'm not coming back, I've done something so terrible
I'm terrified to speak, but you'd expect that from me
I'm mixed up, I'll be blunt; now the rain is
Washing you out of my hair and out of my mind
Keeping an eye on the world,
So many thousands of feet off the ground
I'm over you now I'm at home in the clouds
Towering over your head

The rain started coming down and she looked up from where she was on the couch. The picture of her boys together, friends, 5 years ago. That was a long time ago. Things change. People change. But feelings sure as hell don't. At least hers didn't. And the fact that she had that picture in her apartment, constantly reminding her of what could have been. She couldn't think about this right now. Tears formed in her eyes as she took the frame in her hand, she couldn't help but let a tear slip down her cheek. She imagined him standing in front of him. Giving her that undeniable stare, before kissing her and taking her back into that world of unconditional love and passion. She took the picture out of the frame and stared at the piece of paper taped to the inside. The words scrawled on it being her saving grace for the past 4 years. Tears lingered in her eyes as her thumb ran over the smudged words, knowing it was his tears that had done that damage.

Her heart skipped a beat just like it always did as she read over his words. This was his heart and soul being poured out on to a piece of paper. He was the light that made her darkness go away. And not once during the last 4 years did that alter. A tear slipped down her cheek and onto the paper. Dissolving into it and mixing with the tears that were once his. There wasn't a day that went by that she didn't think about him. She wiped away the tears that lingered in her eyes before placing the picture back in the frame. She couldn't think about him right now. She couldn't let the feelings hidden inside that heart of hers come out. Sometimes she asked herself why they still were hidden. And the answer to that was simple. It hurt too much to actually believe the inconvenient truth. She is now, and always will be, in love with that boy.

And some might ask, how can one be in love with two people at once? And the truth she held in her heart every day since that night, answered that question.

She chose to leave him. To be with someone else, because he questioned her heart. Her loyalty.. Her love. And once she made her choice, she knew something was off. This wasn't where she wanted to be. This wasn't where her heart lay. But there comes a time when you know you can't undo your mistake. And she had reached that point.

I guess I'll go home now
I guess I'll go home now
I guess I'll go home now
I guess I'll go home

Getting up from the ground, he looked over the side of the bridge. The cars passing below him on the interstate. The wind blowing against his face. Blinking back the tears, he stuck his hands into his pockets. Pressing his toes into the soles of his shoes, he made his way home. And on his way, he knew the truth.

That he, Jake Jagielski, will always be in love with Peyton Sawyer.

Getting up from the couch, she heard the door open and knew it was her fiancé. Going over to him, she put on that familiar fake smile and put her arms around him. Pushing the thought of true love out of her head, she eased back and looked into those blue eyes.. And upon looking into Lucas Scott's eyes, she knew the truth.

That she, Peyton Sawyer, will always belong to Jake Jagielski. Heart, and all.

Half the night, I waste in sighs.
In a wakeful doze, I sorrow.
For the hand. The lips. The eyes.
For the meeting of tomorrow.
-Tennyson

I love you. And I miss you. And I made a terrible mistake that night.
My hopes and dreams will forever lead me to one final thought.
And that is that we will be together again. Someday.

All my love,
Jake