Title: If Only
Characters: Michael/Sara
Spoilers: Episodes 1x06 – Riots, Drills and the Devil (Part 1), 1x07 – Riots, Drills and the Devil (Part 2), 1x20 – Tonight and 1x22 - Flight
Author: AvanEeden
Warning: Character Death
Disclaimer: I don't own Prison Break or any of its characters.
Summary: What if Flight is the end of the road for Sara? Michael thinks back on the mistakes he has made in his relationship with Sara.
News of your untimely death reaches me as I hideout with my brother, constantly moving from one place to another. Trying to avoid capture. My heart is broken, no shattered. If I hadn't asked you to aid us in our escape you would still have been alive. This is the cost of my plan and I hate myself for it.
Before I got thrown into prison I knew of you. Knew that I had to lie to you, manipulate you. I never dreamed that I would fall for you. That you would be my soul mate. You kept me grounded, kept me sane in that place. Why did you do it Sara? When I asked you to keep the door unlocked you asked me if I was after needles or drugs. How dare you ask that of me knowing what you knew about yourself?
My dreams are haunted by images of you. The first time I laid eyes on you. The image of you on the monitor during the riot, hiding behind the examination chair armed with nothing more than a piece of glass. Your panic-stricken face and desperate plea for help whilst banging your fists against your only possible means of escape whilst the other inmates were desperately seeking entrance into the infirmary. The look of relief on your face when I reached my hand down to your shoulder, offering you your freedom. Your soft chuckle at my lame attempts to calm you down while we rested on the pipes.
The disappointment in your eyes when you realised that I had lied to you: When I told you that the kind-hearted man whose nature it was to help other people had died in prison and when I told you the truth about the escape. The look of remorse on your face when your father refused to grant Lincoln clemency and you realised that an innocent man would die because of your father's ambitions.
I wake up realising that I will never see you again except in my dreams. All I long for is one final moment with you. One last kiss, one last glance, one last touch. The feel of your eyes capturing mine. The gentle sound of your voice, your laughter.
But it will never be. You are gone, taken from me as a result of my own shrewd selfishness. My inability to look past the bigger plan. And for that I will never forgive myself.