The scene is not unfamiliar: the wet bathroom tile, the noose made from Totty's tie, nor the fat, silent tears welling in Ichimatsu's eyes. He slips his head into the loop with steady hands, stark naked. The sky is black outside the tiny window. Ichimatsu doesn't look up when Jyushimatsu enters the room.
"Are you trying to die again, niisan?"
Instead of removing the noose Jyushimatsu tears it from the shower rod and pulls his brother to the ground with it. The rest of their family is still asleep. "You wanna die, ne?"
It's only a little after three o'clock in the morning when he drags Ichimatsu onto the roof to stare vacantly at the sky. He pulls his big brother closer and presses an ear to his chest. His heartbeat sounds like a bullet train but his face remains unflinchingly blank. The rest of the neighborhood is quiet.
"Ready?" Jyushimatsu warns him. "Let's count!" His fingers flex around Ichimatsu's throat before sinking into his skin and cutting off circulation. "One, two, three…" His hands relax and Ichimatsu sucks in a deep breath. "Good job Ichimatsu-niisan!"
He repeats the process, longer each time, until Ichimatsu is throbbing in his pants and desperate for air. With his free hand Jyushimatsu grabs his brother's dick and grinds him into the shingles.
"Someone will see," Ichimatsu protests hoarsely.
Jyushimatsu laughs. "But it doesn't matter, right?"
He presses his thumbs into Ichimatsu's clavicle and shoves his hips forward until their erections meet through his clothes. The panic won't start until after the shock settles, like the calm before a storm. Ichimatsu always breaks apart in pieces.
"Hey, niisan?" Jyushimatsu pants against his scraped skin. "I wanna put it inside you."
Jyushimatsu drools over his fingers and worms them into Ichimatsu's well-stretched hole. Playing with himself is one of Ichimatsu's only regularly scheduled activities. He groans into his arms and pushes his rear eagerly into Jyushimatsu's hand. Just the tip feels like it will split him in half. Ichimatsu wheezes and ejaculates against his belly when Jyushimatsu stuffs his spit slick dick inside him.
"Wait," he starts, as if the situation is only just dawning on him in the post-orgasmic haze. Ichimatsu notices his brother's eager expression for what feels like the first time. "I came," he says slowly. His back hurts and the sensation of the cold night air around his softening dick makes him want to die.
Jyushimatsu smiles, closed mouth and small, before cramming his cock all the way up his brother's rectum. Ichimatsu's brows shoot up as Jyushimatsu sinks deeper in his ass, shifting them closer to the vertical drop below.
"Watch it," Ichimatsu complains when Jyushimatsu thrusts into him a little too roughly. He swallows, but his voice is still shaky when he speaks. "I'll fall off!"
"Are you scared, niisan?" Jyushimatsu squeezes his neck until his eyes bulge and roll into the back of his head. He thrusts his pelvis and Ichimatsu's head begins inching off the edge of the roof. "Come to me next time, okay?"
He digs his heel into the gutter and pounds his brother like a powerhouse while Ichimatsu claws at the chokehold. Jyushimatsu knows he should stop when Ichimatsu's face begins changing colors, but he goes on a little longer just for fun. Ichimatsu inhales a lungful of air and dissolves into noiseless tears when Jyushimatsu finally loosens his grip. and blows his load inside him.
When he can catch his breath for long enough to mutter more than one syllable, he gasps, "I hate you," into Jyushimatsu's ear.
Jyushimatsu holds him tight and lets him leak hurt all over his hoodie. "I love you too, niisan."