Being Sammy
In Babylonian times, as legend has it, everyone was given a Shedu when they were born.
As far as Sam was concerned, there was little in his life that he hadn't had to fight for.
When Sam was just a baby, even without him being aware of that, he had to fight for his father's attention, competing with things he did not understood, like grief, revenge and monsters. He was too young to keep a score on that one, but most of his life, it felt like he'd lost that battle.
They were not something that you asked for or pray for; they were not a privilege of upper classes; they were not something that people had to fight for. They were everyone's birthright.
When he was seven, like all younger brothers are forced to do at some point, he had to fight for his own place, for his right to be 'Sam' and stop being 'Dean's little brother'. At fourteen, he had settled for being 'Sammy' and called it a tie.
The Shedu were often depicted as a man with the body of a winged-bull and horns on his head. They were demons, but benevolent ones, protecting the world from evil and chaos.
When he was seventeen, and all of his friends were fighting for better grades and college opportunities, Sam was fighting for his right to have a higher education. That is, when he wasn't fighting ghosts in some decaying haunted house. He won that fight.
The Shedu are more commonly represented as gigantic statues, 35 feet tall pieces of cold, imposing stone, often seen in pairs, guarding the entrances of temples and palaces, safekeeping them from wrongdoing. Smaller representations can also be found, depicting only the Shedu's human horned-head. They are believed to bring protection to those wearing them.
At twenty-three Sam was fighting for his right to a normal life, a picket fence life. He was on his way to have a degree in a profession that was respected by society in general, he had friends that did not have criminal records or arsenals in the trunks of their cars and he had Jessica. He lost that fight.
The plural of Shedu, as translation goes, its Shedubim.
There were a few things in Sam's life that he hadn't had to fight for. And almost all of them could be traced back to Dean.
The Hebrews translated that in to Cherubim, also known as Cherub, angelic figures who are believed to be the guardians of light, filtering it down from Heaven to shine upon the Earth and all of its living things.
All of his life, up until the moment he'd started to fight for his right to be 'Sam', Sam had been happy to be 'Dean's little brother', cocooned in the warmth of safety and love that his brother had always provided for him, safe shelter from the world and their lives.
Cherubim, contrary to what renaissance art has us believing, are not porcelain-skin, chubby-winged, little baby-angels.
When the only thing he could hear was the sound of banging doors and his father's angry, departing words of 'never come back', Dean was waiting for him at the car, silently taking the light bag from his hands and saying 'come on, I'll drive you to the bus station'.
The Cherubim, as angelic hierarchy has it, are the second highest ranking in Heaven, right after the Seraphim.
For awhile, after Dean dragged him back from the flames that took Jessica away from him, Sam was content to be 'Dean's little brother' once again. He hadn't felt like dealing with the world then and, as it was, he had a big brother that was happy to shelter him again from it. Someday, he would start fighting back for his right to be 'Sam', but, somehow, he knew that for Dean, he would settle for being Sammy forever.
They are fierce guardians, with flaming swords on their hands. Protectors.
The end