A/N: Yoooo. Before you say it, I know I haven't published anything in a while. As you probably know by now, I'm scatterbrained and completely lacking of any motivation to finish a project. But don't abandon all hope. I'm in a werewolf/vampire/supernatural mood lately, so you might see some notifications relating to fandoms that fall under those categories sooner or later. Hopefully sooner.
In the meanwhile, enjoy. This drabble is a kind of 'what if Damon didn't leave for three years' sort of thing. I wanted to have Damon be the one to roadtrip around the world with Stefan for three years until Rayna escaped. So I might post more drabbles of their escapades, but this is also a good standalone until I get it going. I just love me some good Defan content. :3
000
"Listen to me. If there's even a fraction of you that cares about me—your brother, your family—you will not walk out that door."
The words make Damon pause. A wave of pins and needles rushes through his body.
He takes a deep breath, thoughts churning with his stomach.
Great. Little bro has gone and made it about himself. Fantastic.
Now his leaving is a statement to his care for Stefan. Although... that was kind of the point. Since a time long before he even met Elena, all he managed to accomplish was doing something stupid or selfish, and have Stefan lose something in trying to fix it. All he wanted to do was end it. Finally. To do something good for his little brother for once.
But in leaving to try and break the cycle of Damon messes up, Stefan pays for it, would he just be continuing it?
The song really was getting old. The song of burdening his brother with his mistakes, all the while brushing off his horrible decisions with a 'it's just who I am'. As if he can't help it. As if stopping would mean lying to himself, being ingenuine. If that were the case for everyone, the world would be filled with people like him and void of people like Elena, like Alaric, like Stefan. Void of Elena and Alaric and Stefan themselves.
Deep down, he knows morality is a choice, not something you're born with or without. Everyone wants what's best for themselves, even if it means someone else suffering. But what makes Elena, Alaric, Bonnie, Stefan, all good people is that they stifle that want, that desire, as long as it means bettering their friends, their family. Damon, on the other hand...
He is narcissistic.
He is arrogant.
He is selfish.
He is unlovable.
Yet not, seeing as he still has a best friend, a brother, and a girlfriend who will wake up in eighty years still searching for his face in a crowd. He gives a whole new meaning to the phrase 'pearls before swine'.
He honestly doesn't understand. But he can't neglect it even if he doesn't deserve it. Even if he didn't ask for it. He can't. They all, Bonnie, Stefan, Elena, Alaric, they gave him their pearls (if you will) and he can't just spit on them and stomp them into the dirt simply because he doesn't deserve them. He may not deserve them, but if they're given anyway, he can't just... let them down like that.
And now Stefan is backing him into a corner; one step in the direction he doesn't want to go and it means he cares for Stefan, one step toward his actual objective and it means he couldn't care less if Stefan was ever born.
It's wrong. And Stefan knows he's pushing, stretching the truth to the way he wants it and stuffing Damon to fit inside. But he's not exactly incorrect, Damon supposes. By all means it looks like leaving means he doesn't care about Stefan, doesn't care that he's been marked by a psychotic huntress bitch and could die even tomorrow.
But he does. And he's trying to leave because he cares about Stefan. He knows himself. He knows he'll screw something up sooner or later and Stefan will take the fall yet again.
The question is: is it as soon as him stepping out the door to desecrate next to his girlfriend in Brooklyn?
Does he only think that leaving will stop him from hurting his only remaining relative, all the while that very act is yet another mistake he's going to make that will leave Stefan reeling?
Too many variables, too many what-ifs. He doesn't know what will happen.
Except he does. What he does know is that if he leaves now, he's making an indirect statement that he doesn't give a shit about his little brother. Thanks to said little brother dumping that crossroads in his lap.
And he can't do that. Not again. He's already done it countless times, walking out on his brother even when he's begged to stay, when he's needed, when he's wanted. He can't do that again. He just can't.
So he doesn't.
Instead, he clenches his hands into fists until his fingernails are digging into his palms, until he feels the slick wetness of blood. He fights the irresistible urge to press the fast-forward button, the button that will render him blameless until his coffin is opened back up to reveal the love of his life staring back at him, completely free of responsibility of any problems that had been caused in his absence, that had caused more misery. Free of it all. Because no responsibility is easier. It's always easier. And he's always found a way to dodge the blame, to wash it off with all the blood on his hands.
But not this time.
Squaring his shoulders, he takes a deep breath that rattles in his lungs and turns back around to face his brother.
"Okay, Stefan. I won't leave," he manages past the lump in his throat. The surprise in Stefan's eyes is almost as crushing as gravity.
His brother, his very own flesh and blood, shouldn't have to be surprised when he's chosen as a priority.
"I'll stay."
And the lift in Stefan's shoulders is almost worth it.
000
A/N: Ta da! And that's what I have so far. If you like it, leave a review. If you have any suggestions or prompts for roadtrip Salvatore brother escapades, also leave a review, although I can't promise I'll get to all of them. :) Any review is appreciated! I love you guys and hope you have a good day. *tips hat*