A/N: Some liberal interpretations of magic is used here.
They had been overconfident. Now they were paying the price.
The party was trekking through templar territory and got ambushed by a sizeable group of those red lyrium-obsessed warriors. Somehow, despite Cassandra and Solas's warning to remain attentive even when taking the side road, the group had their guard lowered. Perhaps because they had seen their share of these fanatics and triumphed again and again. Perhaps it was due to Iron Bull's reassurance that even if there was danger coming, the big qunari could be their living shield. Nevertheless, it was her fault. She was the one whom everyone looked to for leadership. The blame was on her, that they were surrounded by the templars. So the burden of getting everyone out alive was hers – a duty she will not fail. Not today.
A fierce jet of flame streaked forth from behind her, engulfing its victim's head in searing heat. The flames slid through the slots of the templar's helmet and melted his eyes. He screamed and dropped his sword, hands coming up to claw desperately at his visor. His misery was mercifully short-lived, however, as Blackwall beheaded the templar with ease.
Kathryn looked back at Vivienne who, despite the small victory, had a deep frown of concentration etched in her brow as she fought to see another day.
The Inquisitor rolled her eyes when she heard the heavy clunk of armour nearing her back and pivoted, staff slamming into the side of the warrior's helmet. The impact was jarring, but she kept a tight grip on her staff. As her foe staggered to the side, a sharp cluster of ice punched through his armour and ended his life.
"Kathryn, down!" A familiar accented voice commanded, which Kathryn obeyed without hesitation.
She felt the sword slice through the air where her head had just been, and gave silent thanks as Cassandra rammed into the offending target with her shield. The Seeker bashed her shield at the templar's head again to keep him stunned, before plunging her blade through the enemy's heart.
"Be more attentive, Inquisitor," Cassandra chastised, using a foot to dislodge the body from her weapon. "This is a mess–"
A bolt of lightning flashed right past her head and cut her off mid-sentence. The warrior turned and found a templar rogue uncomfortably close behind her, in the throes of a severe electric shock.
"Right back at you, Seeker," Kathryn winked. She slashed across the rogue's throat with the bladed end of her staff. She could practically feel Cassandra's blood boiling beside her as she charged up another spell.
"Bull, Sera, scatter!" The Inquisitor barked, reveling in the warm rush of magic through her body.
Once her party members had cleared the area, Kathryn let loose, raining fireballs on her victims before they could escape. The templars' screams were like music to her ears – victory's symphony. She heard Sera whoop from the side and grinned. A templar staggered from the field of fire clutching her side, armour burnt black. But before she could take another step, Iron Bull swooped down on her with his mighty warhammer.
Kathryn winced a little at the bloody display, but quickly turned her gaze at the remaining bastards–oh no.
"They have reinforcements!" Dorian yelled, a spirit spell whipping forth from his hand.
"Dammit, regroup!" Kathryn ordered, focusing on the armoured figures charging from further up the path. "Bull, Cass, guard the chokepoint, don't–"
Dimly, she registered Dorian's panicked warning of foes behind her back. Then, the sensation of something sharp being thrust through her. Kathryn looked down, and saw the shock on her face reflected on the elongated blade poking through her chest. The cold steel was smeared with blood…her blood…and the pain, Maker, it–
A strangled yell burst from her lips as the blade was twisted and yanked from her body. Almost immediately a booming, enraged roar issued from Iron Bull far in front of her. The qunari seemed to have lost any semblance of civility – whatever civility there could be in battle – to blood rage at the sight of Kathryn's plight.
She had not the presence of mind to watch Iron Bull's display of animalistic rage, though. Blood bubbled up to her mouth, coating her tongue with the taste of copper. She coughed and turned, catching sight of her attacker. The proud glint in his eyes lit an unexpected rage in Kathryn, and that glint faded when the Inquisitor grabbed the front of his helmet. The expressions of shock and fear were the last to cross his face, before she drained the life from the warrior. The body dropped to the ground like a sack of rocks with a loud thud. Kathryn stumbled back, trusting Blackwall, Solas, and Varric to keep the rear party off her.
The stolen life force helped lighten the profuse bleeding from her chest, but it was not enough. She brought her hand to the wound, desperately trying to heal it – but it was not working. She could not focus – her hand was shaking, the world was spinning. Kathryn leant heavily on her staff, willing herself not to fall to her knees. Taking ragged breaths, she turned to look for Solas, just in time to witness him get bludgeoned from the back. The elf fell, his staff falling from his grasp. Varric shot three consecutive bolts at Solas's attacker, before another templar knight rammed into his side. Blackwall was disarmed by his opponent and quickly rolled backwards to avoid a killing blow.
A commotion sounded off to the side, and she whipped around to find Cassandra trying to keep three templars off Vivienne's back. The Seeker seemed to be in control at first – until a rogue surprised her, and another warrior knocked her shield out of her grasp.
No…
Cassandra's eyes widened in surprise, then in pain as another blade bit deep into her sword arm.
Stop…
The fierce warrior refused to let go of her weapon, and instead brought it up in a vicious slash across her opponent's neck. While she was distracted, however, the rogue sneaked up behind her back, daggers raised high–
"Enough!" Kathryn cried.
During her studies, she had sought forbidden texts. She wanted to find out for herself what made certain branches of magic such a taboo, instead of just hearing it from the fearful lips of the pious. In her curiosity, she had come across many different blood spells – including their methods of execution, materials required, et cetera. At the end of her study of the darker arts, she was convinced that blood magic was, indeed, dangerous. But that did not stop her from having some inkling of how to wield it. It was, after all, a powerful branch of magic. If done with proper knowledge and will, deals with demons were unnecessary for the casting.
Damn the consequences. If it could get them out of their predicament… She just hoped she would not kill herself in the process.
Kathryn channeled her own blood as she would lyrium, and took hold of the warriors around Cassandra – including the rogue behind her. The templars then cut their own throats with their weapons, falling to the ground lifeless.
"No! Kathryn, stop!" She heard Cassandra implore when she realised what the mage was doing, but it fell on deaf ears.
Damn it all!
The Inquisitor pulled the blood from her recent victims and charged another, more powerful spell. Hopefully it could span the whole area…
Kathryn unleashed the spell, straining to maximise its range of effect. She squeezed her eyes shut in concentration as she made the templars' blood boil in their veins. The last thing she remembered before collapsing from fatigue was a strange lull in the sounds of fighting, and Dorian urging everyone to strike at the templars while they were incapacitated.
"Is she all right?"
"Yes," Vivienne replied reassuringly, fastening the fresh set of bandages on Kathryn. "Her wounds were deep, but she responded well to our healing. She is fine, physically."
"And…" Cassandra let the question hang heavily in the air.
The enchanter kept silent. She gently draped the Inquisitor's top back over her shoulders and set it properly in place. One should not look too unkempt whenever it could be helped.
"It is difficult to ascertain a demon's presence until she wakes – without invasive magics, that is." The mage sounded cautious, as if saying something wrong would cause Cassandra to lop Kathryn's head off. That was, of course, a necessary course of action if Kathryn was indeed possessed. But until they could know for sure – well, they needed to remain vigilant. Vivienne turned to face the Seeker, unsurprised to find a sheathed dagger in the woman's hand.
"Are you planning to guard over her until she wakes?" the enchanter asked incredulously. "There is no telling when that will happen. And you have been wounded as well, Cassandra. Rest should be of priority."
"I prefer caution, Vivienne," Cassandra brushed off the mage's concern. "Besides, you are in no position to preach about rest. You and the other mages have barely slept since the day before–"
"No thanks to all of you and your injuries."
"–I will watch over her and alert you when she wakes."
Vivienne sighed and stood, taking the bloodied bandages with her. "Since you have so kindly volunteered, I shall not argue." She nodded, sweeping out of the tent as gracefully as she could in her exhausted state.
The Seeker swallowed her indignation at being patronised and settled near the bed. Kathryn looked fine – she seemed so peaceful, lying on the bed…in a coma.
Cassandra prayed she would not have to use her dagger when the woman woke up.
She first became aware of fingers brushing lightly through her hair. Then, soft and happy humming.
Was she…home? No…no, she was not. She could feel the hard ground beneath her back and the familiar wrap of a bedroll around her. Camp. Yes…she must be in camp. Kathryn lifted her eyelids slowly – why were they so heavy? – and was greeted with the sight of Sera hovering over her. The blonde elf's eyes widened as the light-blue irises came to a rest on her.
"Kat?" Sera ventured carefully, remembering previous warnings of possible demonic possession and scooting a little further away. "Kat, you feeling all right?"
A rusty cough issued in place of a reply, the motion pulling at a spot on her chest. She opened her mouth again, wanting to mouth for water, but Sera was already on it. The elf grabbed a nearby mug and lifted Kathryn into a sitting position.
"Here – lucky I brought some in case I got thirsty or something." Sera placed the mug on the Inquisitor's dry lips, only allowing her small sips at a time.
It took a while, but Kathryn was finally sated and thanked the elf in a scratchy voice.
"How long…" the mage rasped, having trouble finding the energy to finish a sentence.
"It's been four days now, and you've been sleeping like a log." Sera placed her mug aside. "Hm. You look fine. Do you feel…demony?"
Kathryn frowned, processing the question. Why would Sera ask…oh, right. Blood magic. Suddenly she felt even more exhausted. "No… Unless…hungry is demony…is it?"
The elf gave a lop-sided smirk. "Seems like you're fine. But I'm supposed to inform them when you woke up, so…" She got onto her feet. "You just hold on a moment."
The Inquisitor closed her eyes as the archer exited the tent. The past few days of being comatose had not been easy. That was the first time she had cast blood magic, not to mention strain against her limits while doing so. Kathryn could faintly remember walking through the Fade for a very long time, and feeling…dread. Like she was being watched by demons from the shadows, which were no doubt ready to pounce on her the moment she let her guard down. So the texts were right. Using blood magic indeed lights the mage's presence like a beacon, attracting the attention of unsavoury company…
She heard the tent flap open and looked up just in time to see Cassandra enter. The burgeoning smile died on her lips, however, when she noticed the dagger clutched tightly in the warrior's hand.
"See? I told you she's all right!" Sera burst into the tent behind Cassandra, followed closely by Vivienne.
"Yes, but we have to be certain," Cassandra replied curtly, a wary and intense gaze fixed on their leader.
"As much as I loathe to," Vivienne cut in, pulling Sera back a little to prevent an unnecessary argument. "I have to agree. There have been cases where the demon remained dormant, only to emerge later on."
Kathryn gritted her teeth, pushing herself up. The pull at her chest where she was wounded did not feel promising. She felt her arms shake – as though she was going to collapse back onto the bed – but a strong arm supported her back, pushing her up. With a grunt, she straightened herself as best she could and glanced back at Cassandra.
"Thanks," she gave a weak smirk. "But try not to be rash with that thing before anything is confirmed, okay?"
The Seeker's fingers twitched around the weapon, and she started to pull back. But Vivienne motioned for her to stay in place.
"Kathryn. This procedure will hurt, but it is necessary. If there is a demon in contact with you, then it will be forced to come out…and turn you. Do you understand?" The enchanter's hands glowed with a cold green light.
Kathryn swallowed, and nodded. Vivienne's gaze went hard as she placed her hands near the redhead's chest.
"Just relax. Cassandra will serve as your support."
Support? What for–an agonised scream tore through her throat as Vivienne's hands shone a blinding green.
Oh Maker, what is this torture?! Vivienne's magic tore into her – the blood in her veins had surely been replaced by broken glass. Kathryn's body pushed instinctively backwards, away from those hands that are hurting her, but Cassandra stopped her from doing so. Her hand clawed desperately at Cassandra's shoulder, as though begging for release.
Stop! Please…
"One last push, Kathryn. Stay with me."
Her lips parted in a pained, silent scream. Her eyes rolled back into her head. Her body arched, muscles straining. She–she could not breathe. She was going to die–
All of a sudden, it was gone. Kathryn lurched forward, blacking out momentarily. When she came to, there was a pair of arms holding her upright while a warm hand gently felt for a pulse in her neck. A few breathless sobs escaped her as she felt herself being lowered back onto the bedroll and tucked in. She felt lifeless, and could not stop shivering despite the warm afternoon.
"She is fine," was the last thing Kathryn heard before she slipped back into the Fade.
Cassandra was more than relieved to finally put her dagger away. When Vivienne announced that Kathryn was safe, it felt as if a heavy burden had been lifted off her shoulders. Some of the others had been rather iffy about her wariness regarding the Inquisitor. Well – technically Sera was the only one who said anything aloud, but she was aware of how the party felt. Kathryn had managed to find common ground with all of them, no matter how different their backgrounds, personalities, and views were. So all of them hoped that their leader would turn out all right. She was, after all, their best hope of repairing the Veil. It was just that the possibility of having to…dispose of her was not well regarded. To them, Cassandra's watch over her seemed a little too eager. She understood their sentiment, yet resented it at the same time. She resented the necessity of her actions, that she had to take on the role of the pragmatist. It was not as if she did not care for Kathryn as well. She just…did not believe in a constant need to show affection. It was an utterly redundant notion that many have taken to heart.
With a weary sigh, Cassandra scanned her surroundings one last time before heading to the campfire in the middle of the tents. Her shift should have ended, judging by the moon's position in the dark, starless night. She stepped lightly so as not to wake anyone up, and found Dorian already sitting in front of the low-burning fire. He did not seem to be fully awake though; his head was resting lightly on his staff, eyes half-lidded and gazing blankly into the fire. Given a few more minutes, Cassandra had no doubt he would have nodded off.
"Dorian," Cassandra called in a low voice as she drew closer.
The mage's head jerked up from his staff, eyes blinking to clear his vision as he turned to face her.
"Cassandra," Dorian greeted in a lazy drawl. He yawned and stretched his back before getting onto his feet. "You know, I never thought I'd end up keeping watch in the middle of the night. But here I am."
The Seeker raised a brow. "Here you are."
Dorian chuckled to himself as if at some unspoken joke. "Well, have a good night. See you in the morning."
Cassandra nodded, heading towards her own tent as Dorian made his way to the edges of the campsite. She paused in her tracks as she passed Kathryn's tent. Should she check on the Inquisitor? She had not had chance to visit the woman since Vivienne's check for possession. There was a faint light shining through the canvass…probably from one or two candles. Was Kathryn still awake?
"Are you going to come in, or just stare at my tent for the rest of the night?" Kathryn's voice sounded muffled through the canvass.
Of course. Her silhouette would have been visible from inside. Damn it. Now she felt like some weird stalker. Gritting her teeth, Cassandra lifted the tent flap and stepped through. She was unsurprised to find a knowing smirk on Kathryn's face, haggard though she looked. Her face had regained some colour from earlier in the afternoon, but was still pale. The redhead held in her hand a small piece of bread with a slice of cheese on top. Slowly munching away, Kathryn nodded at a spot beside her bedroll. Cassandra took the silent cue and sat on the ground, unbuckling her scabbard and placing it next to her.
"Your shift just ended, I take it?" Kathryn asked after swallowing her food.
"Yes, it did," the Seeker replied, cocking her head. "Did you not have enough for dinner?"
"This is my dinner. Didn't have an appetite earlier, so I just wrapped these up for a midnight snack." Kathryn took another bite. She pointed at a small bundle of cloth next to her.
"There's still some bread in there, if you want it. Cold, though."
"No thanks."
"Okay."
They sat there in silence, Kathryn finishing her little snack and Cassandra alternately glancing between the mage and her own hands. The warrior did not know what to do in those few minutes. The quiet between them was not uncomfortable, no. They've learnt to enjoy the companionable silence when holding night watches together, especially after surviving fierce battles while the sun was up. She was unsure of whether to leave Kathryn to her own peace, or lay on her all the questions that have been brewing since the incident with the red templars. It was early morning, after all. Not a very good time to discuss…heavy matters.
When Kathryn finally finished her last bite of bread, Cassandra went with a simple, "Are you tired?"
"Yes, and…yes," came the unsatisfying answer.
"And…?" Cassandra prompted.
"I said it. Yes and yes," Kathryn held up a hand, stalling Cassandra's question.
"I feel tired. You know, normal tired. Heavy eyelids and limbs and all that," Kathryn sighed. "But after Vivienne's purge, I…" She held up a hand, flexing her fingers. "I feel as if…I don't know."
Her brows furrowed, and she made a fist to stop the mild tremors. "I feel like I'm hollow. Like a shell. Like there's nothing in me anymore. No energy…no spirit."
"Is that something to be concerned about?"
"No…" Kathryn drawled, tilting her head. "It's to be expected, I guess. You are familiar with the Tranquil? How they are made so?"
"Yes," came the prompt reply. "Their connection to the Fade was severed, thus leaving them…emotionless."
A slight crease appeared between the mage's brows.
"'Emotionless' does not even cover half of it…" The resentment in her voice was unmistaken. That was to be expected. As a mage, the thought of Tranquility should not be a pleasant one. Especially to one who has quite a strong will of her own.
"Anyway," Kathryn waved her hand dismissively. "What Vivienne did was about similar to what they do to a Tranquil. Except in this case, she did not actually sever the connection. Just…well, squeezed it until it was almost broken. If a demon was indeed possessing, or connected to me, it would be forced to either break its hold, or fight back against the suppression by coming through the connection and inhabiting my body. You follow?"
"So…" Cassandra ventured, internalising the information she had just been given. "Was there actually a demon in 'contact' with you?"
"No," the mage replied simply. "Lucky, too. If there actually was one, chances are it wouldn't have given up on me easily. Demons don't get their hands on hosts very easily, you know. So, if it was indeed stubborn, it would've either turned me into an abomination, or Vivienne could just turn me Tranquil right then and there. You know, to stop it from coming through. Really fun stuff, this."
The Seeker felt surprised at the Inquisitor's smile, but then again, it was expected. She had lost count of the times Kathryn smiled in the face of death threats. One could look at her in a dire situation and believe that everything would be all right. Her surprise grew when Kathryn reached a hand out towards her.
"Could you lend me a hand?"
Puzzled and determinedly ignoring the poor pun, Cassandra raised her hand to the other's, unsure if that was what Kathryn expected. Apparently she was spot-on, for the redhead grasped her hand. Her hold felt weak, as though she wanted to grip tighter but could not. Cassandra frowned, but tightened her fingers around the paler hand. The Inquisitor felt cold. This worried her a little.
"You're warm," Kathryn commented, closing her eyes.
"I should hope so."
"Was that…" The Inquisitor cracked her eyes open and peered at her in amusement. "That was probably the closest you ever came to a joke."
"Shut up."
Did she always have to do this? Almost every time they conversed, Kathryn would go out of her way to prod a reaction out of her. Cassandra tried to resist, but the mage's words would always push the right buttons, and the two would end up bickering. It was not entirely unenjoyable – their verbal sparring was devoid of malice, and she knew these were Kathryn's efforts at keeping morale up. But she would appreciate more serious chats now and then.
"Kathryn," Cassandra said, drawing the other's attention. "Why did you do it? You know what I mean," she added when Kathryn raised her brow.
"Because our situation was dire. I merely did what I thought was best."
"And the 'best' was blood magic?" Cassandra asked incredulously. "Do you know what you are talking about?"
"I do." The Inquisitor's voice grew hard. She drew her hand out of Cassandra's. "But it seems as though you don't."
"I don't? Do you understand what you did, Kathryn? You used a branch of magic that–"
"That the Chantry demonises because they don't know shit about it."
"Blood magic corrupts anyone that–"
"It is not inherently corrupting, Cassandra," Kathryn cut her off again. The Seeker clenched her jaw, trying to keep her temper in check. Now was not a conducive time to get into a heated argument.
The mage held her head in her hand, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Blood magic itself is just another magical discipline. That is all." She held up her hand again to stop Cassandra from interrupting. "It is merely the method of execution that is the problem. Many people balk at the idea of using blood – even their own blood – as a source of power. Especially with all the propaganda the Chantry has been spewing out."
"Propaganda or not," Cassandra cut in. "You cannot deny that blood mages eventually become corrupted themselves – even killing their loved ones in search of power."
"And that, is the result of greed. Of one so drunk in the power he wields that he cannot stop wanting more, and is willing to sacrifice anyone if need be. And may I remind you, that greed is not a sin exclusive to mages. Power does not lie with magic alone. Many lives have been lost in wars tyrant kings wage in their quest for more power."
"I believe we are going off topic," the Seeker stated. "Right now, what I am concerned about is not about other blood mages and their motives. I am concerned about you, and your use of blood magic."
"And what about me? I have used it, but I'm still sane. I am still me. There is no demon waiting to take over my body and slay the entire party."
"This is what I am concerned about. Your complete disregard for the consequences of your actions. Mages who have used blood do not stop after their first experience–"
"Is that so?" Kathryn snapped. "Maybe you should have me clapped in irons then. Or maybe you should keep your sword on you at all times – so you can stab it through my heart the moment I slit my wrists and wave my hands about!"
Cassandra slammed her fist against the ground, any semblance of calm disappeared. "Be serious! I want you to recognise the danger you've put yourself in by using blood magic. I want you to understand that we cannot risk losing you to a demon. No matter what situation we find ourselves in, you have to refrain yourself from–"
"We were in desperate danger, Cassandra! We would've lost at least half the party if I hadn't–"
"That is no excuse! If you get possessed, Thedas loses its only hope of closing the Breach! We cannot lose you, Kathryn!'
"I couldn't–" Kathryn started, but stopped abruptly. Her eyes were fixed on Cassandra, in a mix of anger and surprise – at what, Cassandra did not know, nor did she care at that moment.
They lapsed into sudden silence, staring at each other. Cassandra took deep breaths, trying to calm herself down. It seemed as though Kathryn was doing the same, though she looked like she was withdrawing into herself. The Inquisitor shut her eyes tight, turning away from her companion.
"I'm tired. Leave me," Kathryn muttered, laying down with her back to Cassandra.
The Seeker stared at the mage's back, a little disoriented at the sudden dismissal. Her temper had cooled somewhat, but she was still angry. The tent suddenly felt too warm and stuffy. Without another word, Cassandra picked her sword up and left.
Feeling the cool breeze on her face was rather relieving. She took another deep breath, forcing her tense muscles to relax. Then she noticed Dorian standing not too far away from her, eyebrows raised curiously. They must have been yelling at each other, Cassandra realised, and Dorian had come to check on the disturbance. And if Dorian had heard them, then the others may have been woken as well…
Damn it.
The Tevinter mage tilted his head in a silent question, one that was replied with the shake of a head. He nodded respectfully and went back to his watch. Cassandra trudged back to her tent, eager to sleep the rest of the night away. That was enough for one day.
The huge bear roared in pain, its front leg pierced through by Blackwall's greatsword. The moment the weapon was pulled out, it reared on its hind legs, getting ready to slam back down on the offending warrior. Kathryn swiftly sent a sharp icicle into its neck before it could do so. The beast stopped mid-cry, and fell onto the ground twitching pitifully.
"Good one, girl," Blackwall praised as he ended the bear's misery. He turned around just in time to witness Sera and Cole finish off the last of the wolves that had accompanied the bear. He shook his weapon lightly, getting rid of excess blood before resting the blade on his pauldron. "You would've made a good Warden, you know?"
"Really?" Kathryn replied, her face lighting up.
"Sure. You fight well – good reflexes," the big man assured her. "Willing to protect others too – at any cost. That is always a good trait to have in a Warden."
"So would you recruit me if you had to?" the mage asked curiously, clasping her staff back onto its sheath.
"Oh, I wouldn't recommend that, Blackwall," Sera chimed in, twirling her bow absentmindedly. "She'd need high maintenance – our Lady Trevelyan has a taste for finer food. Besides, look at her. She couldn't take a few hits before floating away to lala-land."
"Hey!" Kathryn retorted as Blackwall's rich laughter filled the air. "I don't have 'a taste for finer food'. The Circle served positively common food during meal times, thank you very much."
"Even so, all that time spent in the Circle hasn't made you any less dainty, that's for sure."
"I'm not dainty!" She looked to Cole for support. He was not smilling, but he did look amused – and unsure whether he should laugh or not.
"Am I, Cole?"
The rogue looked surprised at the question, and seemed to shrink into his oversized hat. Kathryn could see him shrug and shake his head at the same time under the large floppy brim.
"All right, people," Blackwall turned the mage around, still chuckling. "Come on, we shouldn't far from the rest now. We can laugh at Kathryn more once we've regrouped."
The Inquisitor pouted, but made for their destination without any fuss. They were already losing daylight, having encountered many other oddly savage animals along the way. The party had been trekking through the forested mountain when they reached a fork in their path. It was agreed that they should split up to look for shelter – and the pair of abominations that had been terrorizing the small village at the base of the mountain. So Kathryn decided to take these three with her down the smaller, less-used path. She was thankful for the excuse to split; it meant she could finally have some time away from Cassandra after their quarrel. They had not been speaking to each other for the past few days unless absolutely necessary. Kathryn could not bear the uncomfortable tension any longer.
It took a little more than an hour before they finally reached a merge in the two paths. They were quite surprised to see only Solas and Iron Bull waiting for them there, though.
"There you are," the enormous qunari addressed them as they drew close. "We were beginning to think you got lost or something."
"Have you such little faith in us?" Kathryn replied, quirking her brow at the horned warrior.
"We thought you'd reach here before us," Solas stated. "We've found the abominations and dealt with them."
"Not to mention we've found a cave to take shelter in too," Iron Bull pitched in. "Ah, such hard work. Not something you've done today, I expect?"
"Oh shut up, you fat bastard," Sera pushed at the qunari, who did not even budge.
"We've taken care of some wild animals on the way," Blackwall informed them, following Solas's lead to their temporary shelter. "But it seems as though you've gotten more excitement indeed."
"That we have," Iron Bull agreed, rolling his broad shoulders. "Almost a little too much, though. Those abominations were quite smart, worked together and had us running in circles for a while. Oh, by the way," the qunari's tone dropped to a low warning. "A wayward fireball singed the tip of Dorian's moustache. Don't mention it to him. He's a little hung up about it."
A chorus of snickers resonated through the group. Everyone knew the Tevinter mage had that vain streak in him – one of his morning rituals was to style his hair and moustache in that precise way he wanted.
Their steady pace brought them to the cave in no time. It was spacious enough to house the entire party comfortably. Torches were being set up around their camp area by Dorian – who looked a little sulky and spurted flames at the torches like they just insulted his mother. Vivienne was arranging firewood neatly in the middle before setting it on fire with a short hand gesture.
"Ah, the wonders of magic," Iron Bull commented, setting his huge weapon aside and settling down beside the campfire.
Kathryn walked past their camp area as Sera directed another remark at the qunari and got a jibe in return. The mage peered into the dark recesses of the cave, trying to make out if there was anything inside. Then, she realised something and looked back at her party, performing a mental headcount.
"Hey, where's Varric…and Cassandra?"
"Oh, she went down one of the tunnels," Varric's voice came floating from one of the passageways. The dwarf emerged from the shadows, returning Bianca to her sheath and holding his torch higher. He pointed his thumb at the dark tunnel to the left of him. "This one, if I remember correctly."
"I see," Kathryn replied, cocking her head at the rogue. "So did you find anything in there?"
"Nope." Varric shrugged. "Well, nothing that was alive. I found quite a few broken eggs – spider eggs, by the look of them. Looked real old though. If anything's still living in there then it's pretty damn good at hiding."
The Inquisitor hummed thoughtfully. "Maybe we should put up some runes, just in case." She peered down the tunnel that Varric had pointed at earlier. It seemed to go on forever.
"You could go on in, if you're curious," Varric suggested as he strolled towards the campfire. "There's more than enough of us to get everything set up. Besides, I think you need it." He winked.
Kathryn bit her lip, fighting against the blush that rose to her cheeks. She turned to face the tunnel, taking a deep breath and reminding herself that she was the Inquisitor. She needed to keep the Inquisition functioning. And it could not do so properly with its leader being in a cold war with another.
Damn it.
The mage held her staff and uttered a short incantation. The crystal affixed at the top of her weapon glowed, casting its soft warm light on its owner's surroundings.
"Here we go," Kathryn muttered to herself, and carefully made her way through.
It went on uneventfully for a while and the mage started to feel a little bored, drifting away in her own thoughts. Seemed like there really was nothing in here. Maybe Cassandra's already scouted out the entire area, and was making her way back to the camp through another route while she was still here, wandering about like a clueless–mmpfh!
Kathryn squeezed her eyes shut and pressed her lips together, hand coming up to claw at the sticky substance on her face. When she finally wiped everything off, she opened her eyes and found a bunch of…web in her hand. Confused, she brought her fingers closer to her staff, rubbing them together then separating them. The substance stuck to her fingers, stretching between the slim appendages. Cobwebs? Kathryn wondered, lifting her hand for a little sniff. Then it hit her.
"I found quite a few broken eggs – spider eggs, by the look of them. Looked real old, though."
Spider webs. Judging by how adhesive it was, it should not be that old. In fact, it looked like it had been freshly spun. She rubbed off the residual web on the wall, looking up to examine what had caught her. The spider web looked like it had been disturbed – even before she had walked into it. Like someone had torn it from the ceiling and left it hanging just perfectly at her face level. Cassandra, perhaps? But if the web was still sticky, then…
Then she heard it. The familiar sound of a shield smashing against something, followed by a fierce cry and the swift swing of a sword. Kathryn started running toward the source of the commotion, and found the warrior withdrawing her weapon from the head of a dead spider before turning to face another two of its huge brethren. Her torch lay at on the ground beside her, casting some light for the Seeker to at least make out what she was fighting. One of the creatures bared its fangs wide, and Cassandra brought her shield up just in time to catch the venomous spit. At the same time, the other's front legs were raised menacingly for a strike…
"Get down!" Kathryn yelled, relieved that Cassandra obeyed the order immediately, crouching and holding her shield above her head.
The mage shot three fiery arrows at the offending creature. The flames struck its head with such force that it was knocked back and stunned. Kathryn's mind could barely register the moment of triumph before a thick viscous liquid was spat in her direction. Reacting on instinct, the mage stepped sideways – a little too late. Some of the venom caught onto her elbow and ate through her sleeve, searing into her flesh. Kathryn growled in pain, but refused to let go of her staff. She felt an inexplicable rage burst inside her. The mage channeled a wave of mana into her weapon and let loose an unforgiving spiral of fire, reveling in the spider's skittish squeals of pain as its life ended.
"Kathryn! Kathryn – it's dead!"
The Seeker's call snapped her back to reality, and the flames disappeared abruptly. The unpleasant smell of charred spider filled the chamber, and Kathryn wrinkled her nose in disgust. Still breathing heavily, she turned back to Cassandra, who was staring at her warily. Her sword arm hung loose at her side, and Kathryn saw thick dark blood dripping off her blade. The warrior had taken care of the other spider while she was busy cooking the one that–ugh!
The adrenaline had started to wear off. She again became aware of the venomous acid still eating away at her elbow. Kathryn's grip on her staff tightened as she leaned on it for support, her free hand gripping her bicep as though trying to stop the pain from travelling up her arm.
"You need to get the venom off – fast," Cassandra told her, hovering near but still keeping her distance. "I saw a small pool of water in a chamber off to the side. We'd better hurry." The warrior gestured in the direction of the aforementioned chamber.
"Lead the way," Kathryn replied through gritted teeth.
The pair jogged until they reached the pool, which was filled with surprisingly clear water. Kathryn knelt beside it without second thought, and was surprised when Cassandra held onto her shoulder. She said nothing as she was guided elbow-first into the water. Kathryn hissed in pain.
The water felt cool and would have been refreshing to her as well – if it did not make her wound sting so badly. In that moment she felt grateful for Cassandra's sturdy grip on her, as she would have fallen into the pool the moment her elbow touched the liquid. If she had wanted to lift her elbow earlier, she would not have been able to. Cassandra kept the wound underwater until all the venom had dissipated, before hauling her upright. Her elbow was held up for closer inspection, and she felt the cool air intent on making her sting even more.
"Can you heal it?"
Kathryn nodded, gently lifting her arm from Cassandra's grasp. She covered the wound with her free hand, trying to ignore how grotesque her acid-eaten flesh looked, and called up a healing spell. It did not take long for the skin to knit back together. A sigh of relief issued from her lips as she flexed her arm, making sure she was healed right.
Then she became aware of the Seeker's eyes on her. The tension settled in between them again, and Kathryn avoided looking up at her companion. She opted instead for settling on the ground, scanning her staff in the pretext of checking for damage. As if taking some silent cue, the warrior rested her sword on the rocky floor and dipped her shield into the pool. Right. It had taken an entire blob of venom in the battle. She watched as Cassandra raised the shield and shook her head at the ruined Seeker insignia. The sight amused Kathryn somewhat. Trust the warrior to care more about her shield than the gash on the back of her thigh.
…the gash on the back of her–
"You're injured," Kathryn exclaimed, staring at the wound.
Cassandra turned, looking puzzled. Her eyes followed the Inquisitor's line of vision and then widened slightly.
"Oh," the warrior said, staring at her wound as if she did not know what to do.
Kathryn inched her way over, her hand already glowing with warm green light as she stretched it out towards the gash. Two pairs of eyes stared at the wound as it closed back up again. Then they met and broke off contact almost immediately.
"Thanks," Cassandra muttered in gratitude, sitting down next to the Inquisitor. The two sat in silence, unsure of what to say and settling instead for watching the small pool.
"So…" Kathryn ventured after a few minutes. She set her staff down next to her, making sure that light was still emanating from the crystal. "Do you think there are any more spiders in here?"
"No," came the ready reply. "I've explored as far as these tunnels go. That cavern was the last area I went to."
"Good," the Inquisitor nodded.
They lapsed into silence again. Damn it, why was it so difficult to just talk? That was not a problem Kathryn had ever had in her life. She sighed quietly, fingers fidgeting in her lap. To be honest, she had been gone over their argument countless times in her head. Thinking of ways of either apologising, or explaining, or sometimes even antagonising the warrior even further. But now, when she finally had the chance to say what she wanted, she found herself at a loss.
"About what we…discussed the other night. I don't know what to say…to…you know," she finished lamely. Well done. Excellent. Lay on the charm. Full marks for eloquence.
Cassandra did not reply, and her mind started panicking. Worst case scenarios raced through her mind until–
"I don't want you to say what you don't mean. That is all."
"And it worked out splendidly before, didn't it?"
A shake of the head in reply. Maybe Kathryn was imagining it in the dim light, but she thought she saw the corner of Cassandra's lips twitch. Was it in mirth or…?
"Just…tell me something," Kathryn continued. "Are you opposed to just my use of blood magic, or blood magic in general?"
"In general," Cassandra confirmed. "I am, frankly, appalled that you would even resort to it."
"I was surprised at myself, to be honest," Kathryn admitted, earning a raised brow. "Sure, I read up on it…even remembered how to cast it. But I never really even thought about actually using it."
"Then why?"
"Because we were in trouble?" Which was technically true. They had been surrounded on all sides. She got stabbed through the chest. Even Iron Bull was looking overtaxed then. If anything was an indication your battle had gone south, that was it. Kathryn hoped Cassandra would just leave it at that, though. The last thing she remembered – that had set her off – was watching that damned templar get ready to plunge his daggers through the warrior's neck. She had almost blurted it out during their late-night argument. It was lucky she managed to catch her tongue in time. The Inquisitor did not want Cassandra to think she was being used as an excuse.
Said woman considered the reply for a while before heaving a heavy sigh.
"We were," Cassandra concurred. "If it wasn't for you, we may have lost a few of our own. But," the warrior turned and affixed her with a serious gaze. "Kathryn, what I am really concerned about is your safety. Do you understand?"
"My safety?"
"If there was not a risk of you getting into trouble with demons, then your use of blood magic does not bother me. But the fact is, it does. And that you put yourself in a type of danger that we cannot rescue you from – that I am finding difficulty in accepting."
Cassandra wrapped her fingers around Kathryn's left wrist and lifted it up. There the Fade mark was – still on her palm, currently glowing a muted green.
"This is the reason why we cannot lose you, Kathryn." Cassandra shook her wrist for emphasis. "This mark is probably the best chance we have of restoring peace to the world. Of ending this madness. I know that you care for your people, and I know you won't like to hear this. But we are expendable, Kathryn. You are not. So please, promise me. Promise me that you will never, ever use blood magic again."
Kathryn stared at Cassandra, then broke out into a bitter laugh. She pulled her hand away.
"So this is what it's all about? All that matters is me and my mark. Is that it?" She hated sounding so…childish. So selfish. She understood what was at stake. But at times, she did not feel like a human in this struggle anymore. Just a magical tool used to chase away the things that terrified people. A tool to be used, and no doubt cast aside and forgotten once all of this was done.
Her words hung heavy in the air between them. Kathryn took a deep breath and got ready to apologise. What more could she do now? What else did she expect from her current situation? It was not as if she was the only one who had lost what they held close, who had to sacrifice their personal desires for the sake of the world. Everyone was going through the same struggle. What right did she have to demand for what can scarcely be given now?
"I would be very upset if you were…lost," Cassandra admitted finally. "If that makes you feel better."
"…do you mean it?" Kathryn asked, surprised.
"I am not one for white lies, Kathryn. I thought you would've figured that out by now."
"Right," the Inquisitor replied awkwardly. "Thanks."
The Seeker seemed to hesitate before speaking, "Have I ever told you how I lost my brother?"
"No," Kathryn answered truthfully.
"Blood mages," came the flat reply. "They wanted him for some kind of ritual, because he was the best dragon hunter in my family." She ran a finger along her shield. "They came for him when I was just a child… and he was decapitated right before my eyes."
"…I'm sorry."
"Don't be. It had nothing to do with you," Cassandra sighed, flexing her fingers. "I hated mages for quite a while. Didn't care whether they were blood mages or not. All of them were the same to me then."
"And yet you're here, sitting with a mage. Who used blood magic."
Cassandra snorted. "Yes, I am. And you have a bumbling idiot of a mage to thank for that…along with years of learning."
"That sounds like a story."
"If so, it is a story for another time," she replied, turning to gaze at Kathryn. Much of her usual stern countenance has faded now. "I know much of my opinion on blood magic is personal bias. But I hope you can see it my way."
"Of course I can," Kathryn reassured the warrior. She smiled wanly at the curious gaze now directed at her. "I've lost people to it, too."
"Sounds like a story."
Kathryn's smile widened at Cassandra's reuse of her phrase. "One that will be told now, whether you like it or not." She took the raised brow as her cue.
"I had a friend in the Circle. Marcus," Kathryn started. "He was generally a nice guy, though he could get kind of snobby at times. He was from one of those noble families who had their noses stuck so high in the air, you'd think they've never seen the ground before," she explained. "Anyway, he still looked out for us – always stepped in when a templar tried to stir trouble."
"Marcus got into blood magic with another from our class. They were being very discreet about it, too. Managed to hide it for almost a year. Then…" Kathryn shook her head, letting out a weary sigh. "Both of them got possessed – in the same night. The demons didn't come out immediately, though. Apparently they kept their presence so subtle that Marcus and his friend start to lose their suspicions about what may have happened."
"How did you know that?"
"Oh, I managed to steal his diary before the templars confiscated his possessions. Quite a smart move on my part," she sent a self-satisfied smirk over to her companion, who merely rolled her eyes.
"Now, back to the story: the demons were smart. They kept low until we had a large combined lesson – seniors helping juniors with their studies and all that. Then," Kathryn gestured with her hands. "Two abominations suddenly appeared in our midst. The juniors assigned to them were the first to die." Kathryn closed her eyes, remembering the bloody incident that happened. "The others fought back, but the two were strong. They managed to kill so many mages, and were gaining so much power from it."
Her hands unconsciously balled into fists. "Marcus actually turned on me. He-it, was horrifying. Lucky one of the senior enchanters distracted him in time."
"Anyway, long story short, we managed to put both of them down. I got the honour of dealing the final blow to Marcus – while he was incapacitated by another."
The Inquisitor reopened her eyes, staring blankly in front of her. "The entire place felt so empty after that. So many us – friends – gone, just like that. And the templars detained me and a few others who survived, too. Worried that we were somehow tainted or accomplices."
Kathryn rested for a moment. This was not something she had told anyone. Ever. No one in the Circle could bring themselves to discuss what had happened. It felt kind of a relief to tell it now, actually.
"So believe me when I say I understand the risks of blood magic."
"Then that begs a question," Cassandra peered at her. "If you were a victim, then why did you study it?"
Kathryn shrugged. "After I read Marcus's journal, I was appalled at first. I threw it in the bottom of my trunk and didn't touch it for months. Then I took it out again, examined his entries more carefully. We've been taught in the Circle that blood magic was impossible without making deals with demons. But Marcus wrote that it was possible without demons, if one had proper instructions, and had the will strong enough to resist the demons who would no doubt get attracted to the mage."
"So I studied it – without, well, active intent to use it. I still had my family connections, so I paid for this merchant to smuggle in books for me. The more I read, the more it seemed that what the Circle and Chantry taught about it was only a very narrow and distorted view of what this magic is. So I guess you could say I was…pursuing knowledge."
"Are you still…"
"What? No, no," Kathryn raised her hands in a proclamation of innocence. "I've put it down years ago, long before I got this," she waved her Fade-marked hand around. "So you can rest assured I'm not studying forbidden tomes in the middle of the night."
"And will you be using it anymore?"
"Honestly?" Kathryn braced herself. "I cannot guarantee that I will not use it. But what I can tell you is I'll do my best to refrain from using it. You see," the Inquisitor explained before Cassandra could cut in. "Part of why using blood magic is so dangerous, is because it lights the mage up like a beacon. In the Fade, demons will become more aware of and get attracted to them. Those few days I spent in a coma were not restful, you know?" Her lips quirked in a lop-sided smile. "I remember feeling afraid…paranoid all the time. When I was walking in the Fade, it felt as though there were many eyes on me. Like there were many who were waiting for me to let my guard down, then…" She let her sentence drop, as it needed no explanation.
Cassandra frowned, leaning closer to get a better look at her companion.
"Have you spoken to the other mages about this? Solas?"
The Inquisitor shook her head. "No, it's expected and understood. The best I can do is to be careful whenever I'm in the Fade. It has been getting less intense as days go by, so I'd wager it'll return to normal given enough time." She smiled at her friend. "Don't worry, Cassandra. If it really starts to get out of hand, I won't keep quiet about it. That, I can promise you."
The Seeker said nothing. The concerned frown never left her face, and she turned back to her shield, fidgeting with it.
"Cassandra," the mage said softly, placing her hand on the warrior's shoulder. "I'm sorry I cannot give you the assurance you need. But this is how I see things. The best promise I can make to you now, is that I'll refrain from using it. I will always look for an alternative until I find there is none."
"Kathryn," Cassandra turned back to her, her tone urgent. "Blood magic can be used with noble intentions initially. But many mages have found its power irresistible, and were drawn back to it time and time again. It is a downhill slide. The lure of power was too great for them to resist, and that is how they lost themselves. I have seen many who have lost their sanity because of it, many whom I've had to kill. I don't want you to end up like them."
"Killed by your hand?" The redhead said, before realising what had flown out of her mouth.
"Kathryn!" The Seeker grabbed the mage's hand in a tight grip.
"I–I'm sor–"
"I can't lose you." Cassandra stared at Kathryn's surprised countenance. Then the realisation of what she had just said started sinking into her. She hastily pulled away and broke eye contact.
"We," the Seeker corrected weakly. "We can't afford to lose you."
Well. Seemed like she was not the only one who had lost control of her tongue. She kept her smartass remarks to herself, though. No reason to ruin this moment. Kathryn scratched her cheek, unsure of how to react. To say that this was an unexpected turn in conversation was an understatement.
"…I know," she said finally, resting her own hands in her lap. "And that was a bad joke. I'm sorry."
Cassandra nodded. Her eyes were fixated at some point on the ground. Guilt started welling up in Kathryn as minutes went by. Was she being unfair? Even after all was said and done, blood magic was indeed dangerous. It was common sense. Demons are what made it so dangerous – she had said so herself. She sighed inwardly. What Cassandra wants was not unreasonable. In fact, it made total sense. Kathryn herself agreed. Perhaps she was letting her pride as a mage cloud her sensibilities.
"Cassandra… All right. You have my promise."
The surprise in the Seeker's eyes was unmistakable.
"You…"
"Promise, yes," she gave the warrior a faint smile. "Unexpected?"
"To say the least," Cassandra concurred. "You were being rather adamant just now…"
"We're fighting nothing less than a war, my dear Seeker," Kathryn replied. "A war for the survival of Thedas. We've enough burden and cares already. If I can help to take one off your shoulders, then…" She shrugged. "It's the least I can do. Besides, that's one less concern for me as well."
Cassandra never smiled much. She was always so serious, so focused on her tasks – not to mention angry at a lot of things. Sometimes Kathryn thought she frowned so much the creases between her brows were etched into her skin permanently. But then she managed to catch sight of her smiling once in a while, and always in private. It made her look younger, softer. Maybe even vulnerable. But then again, that may be just her. She always felt an irrational need to protect that unguarded part of the Seeker. Always felt a sense of pride whenever she managed to coax out a smile – no matter how small. Like she was helping to keep that part alive in the woman. Preventing her from becoming jaded. Could it be some misguided sense of – egotistical– nobility?
"Thank you."
"No problem," Kathryn replied. "Cassandra–" She stopped herself. What was she doing? It felt like her tongue had a life of its own.
"Yes?" Cassandra prodded, confused at the abrupt pause.
"I…um," Kathryn dropped her gaze back onto her lap. She could feel her heart thumping in her chest, her breaths coming quicker. "I would be very upset if I were to lose you, as well."
And that was that. Was it clear enough? Or was it vague? Did it sound vague? Was it understood?
"Yes, I know," came the simple reply.
So…so she understood what I meant? Exactly what I meant? But…what if she took it the other way? What if…wait. No–wait, ugh. UGH!
She could not stand it anymore. Kathryn grabbed her staff and climbed onto her feet, an odd combination of happiness and perplexity welling in her chest. That was enough for one day. Was the cavern getting a little stuffy? She thought it was getting stuffy. Or was it always like this?
"Are we heading back now?" The Seeker looked like she was thrown off-track by the mage's sudden movement.
"Oh, yes," Kathryn cleared her throat, patting away the dirt from her dark maroon coat. "I think we've spent enough time down here. The others are probably starting to wonder what happened to us." She tossed her staff to her free hand and held it up, lighting up the way out.
"Kathryn," Cassandra called. "Before we leave, since we're…already here." She looked a little unsure of herself. "About that time. At the ball…"
Oh. Has it been bothering her all this time?
"One thing at a time, dear Seeker," Kathryn smirked at Cassandra's raised brows. "Right now, I'm just glad that we've cleared the air. Shall we?" The mage extended a hand towards her companion.
The warrior stared at the hand for a moment, before gathering her sword and shield in one hand and grabbing onto Kathryn's wrist with the other.
"One day, I'll get a straight answer out of you," the Nevarran promised, stretching her legs.
"Mm-hm," Kathryn hummed, smiling at the Seeker. "I am looking forward to it."
A/N: Thank you for reading. Do leave a review if you feel inclined to.
What happened in "the (Orlesian) ball" takes place in "A Dance for the Night", my previous story.
Last scene (conversation) in the cavern was inspired by and written while listening to "Sunset Prism" from the Lightning Returns OST.