So this it I finally manage to published my story. I write from fourth grade, but English is not my first language so it's probably bad. But I have to try it.

Hope you will like – you don't have to like though, I would be grateful if it read at least one person.

1. chapter: Do like it is nothing

Dear Diary,

I will not be thinking about him; it's easy wright? I am too tired, I wanted be cool with it and don't care, but I was little bit wrong – well very wrong. It shouldn't mean anything, but I know well that it does.

I didn't sleep all night, and probably I won't sleep today, I know I won't.

Day after tomorrow – well actually tomorrow, its 2 am – school is starting. I'll see him. I'll be with him in the same class every day.

I' have to take Stillnox, I need my beauty sleep (ha ha ha), let myself dream about something really good, maybe about my future successful acting career.

Night.
From the diary Claudia „Lee" Rickey, 30. 8. 2015

The normal day, Claudia Rickey, wouldn't be in her room on her bed with snotty and little bit black tissues everywhere around her, but last three weeks was everything, but absolutely not normal. All her life (or maybe just the last stereotyped year) was upside down.

One would say she's still processing her break up with her boyfriend with who she was dating the last year. Well, the clever one now understand that it isn't like that at all... She recovered maybe too quickly; maybe she didn't need processing at all, although it's little bit odd that the year didn't mean noting for her. Well maybe something, but… but not as much as it should.

All the time she wanted something different, the whole year, maybe her whole life, she wanted something totally different. She wanted adventure. And that's happened. Finally happened something what she wanted so long, but with totally variant end than she dreamed off.

And that was for this redheaded girl called by her friend Lee, the worse thing what could occur.

She knew it, of course she knew t! She wasn't stupid. But deep inside, she just hoped.

Hoped for a happy ending.

Hoped they will go to school hand in hand.

Hoped they will be telling all their friends how they become a thing, how they've met in Spain and that finally happened what should happened long time ago, it wasn't the night nor the Spain. No, it'd happen here or everywhere actually.

But nobody wasn't that stupid and Claudia specially. Hope had never worked and she knew it. But it was hard though. She couldn't stand the fact it was just one night in fourteen days. She couldn't stand she have to pretend it haven't happen at all. But it did, at least for one them has.

She knew she can't fall in love with him; she even didn't want to, it didn't have future, but heart and brain said something else and then they said it didn't happen this summer. No, it happened in eight grade or something. But maybe she didn´t love him, wright?

Rational Claudia, of course, refused to admit it. Nothing could happen. It was crush, she was attracted, but that was it, wasn't it? Even if it was, she cried all day yesterday and all today. She didn't eat and was closed in her bedroom. Well, actually she ate chocolate hidden in her desk for the worse days – and they occurred.

Just now, on Monday 12pm, it looks like she can move.

She got out of her bed wearing purple loose sweatpants from last century and black tank top. She looked odd, but kind of good – but she'd look good even in trash bag. Her hair was in messy bun. She sat at the chair in front of her desk, just opposite her was hanging big mirror with lot of photos.

Claudia stretched her arm and then unbuttoned her gold chain with L shapes pendant. He gave it to her and it was (maybe) the one thing reminding her it all was real. That she didn't only dream. It'd be better though, yeah, she'd be ashamed that she's these dreams, but it'd be so much easy.

School starts tomorrow. She will have to face him, look into his eyes and do as nothing happened. And she didn't even think about her real ex-boyfriend or her "best friend" Patricia Bauer, they were actually best friends once, but that was before this year, before freshman year, but that's gone. They are on high school now, and everything on high school is not real, everything's just hypocrisy. Or Dave, who knows what his real name is, everybody calls him neither David nor Dave, but that's his last name. He had dreamed since fifth grade that he will be her first. Yes, she has really great "friends". And then there was Philiph her ex-boyfriend and Lukas, her one normal friend… wel so much normal, the most normal of them.

No, there isn't anything to think about, for them, for everybody if it matter, nothing happened. She can do it; she can handle it even if it hurts. She want to be actress, of course she can do it. It's not important she slept with idiot although she didn't do it with guy that loved her (and she's never love him). Later on, you will learn that Claudia is complication by herself, she doesn't even need me.

Suddenly there was a quiet knocking on the door. Claudia didn't bother doing something; she asked her sister Juliet (or maybe ordered) to didn't let go anybody to her room. But Patricia or her friends wouldn't think about coming to her house, especially when their bunch should meet here in Rickey's household in garage at five o'clock. And anybody else was too afraid to come here, she was after all one of the most popular and wealthiest girl from school.

Lee was still sitting on her chair, staring on her reflection in the mirror and she even didn't mind that she looked really bad. That was the first she didn't care about something like that and I didn't know if I should be proud or laughed at her.

Behind the door was Juliet, Jules, Rickey, Claudia's older sister. Lee sometimes acts that she is the older sister, sometimes she can't stand her sister, but she loves her and she can trust her. Just like their father says: family members are the first and last friends, if you can trust someone with a life or with anything actually, it's not a friend, it's a family.

She once had had these friends… at least she thought she had. Everything couldn't change that much, could it? And in her fourteen or fifteen everything was different, wright? Not that she was lot older now; she will be seventeen per month.

"I've brought you a lunch," said Jules nicely, when she walked into the room. She wished she could improve her sister's mood, say something what would help. But she knew if she would say something if Claudia knew that Juliet knew something, Lee would be afraid and would worry even more.

"I don't want it!" snapped Lee.

Or she tried snap, but it didn't work out. Actually she sounded really broken. Most of the time boys aren't worth it, but this one is, wright Lee?

One time there was quit, Juliet didn't leave and Lee than decided she has to be strong for her sister. She has to! She hadn't done it all her life, she always took her older sister like older sister, and she should even now, but she has to be strong for her. Jules has it so much worse; she can't just sit here and pity herself.

She suppressed her tears and everything what she wanted to tell (and didn't make any sense – bitter excuses, that he was jerk, and self-pity stupidities) rather forgot. She tried to smile at the one person who she really loved.

But before she could say something, Juliet spoke as soon as she put the plate with lunch on table and sat on pink fluffy beanbag. „You don't have to wear that mask, Lee. I don't want to you think I know somet…"

"I know you do," interrupted her Claudia. True, she didn't want to her sister know something, but its fine talk with somebody. Yeah, she realized it in hers sixteen (almost seventeen) but rather now than never.

"I know you lo…"

"I do not love him," Claudia interrupted Jules once more. No, she really doesn't love him! Yeah, she had crush, maybe she started falling for him, but no, she didn't love him anymore, she never loved him. He's attractive and kind of handsome and has awesome body, she's attracted to him, but she did not love him! It's just passion and desire! Of course it would not take too long persuade herself that she loves him, but now she just doesn't!

It's really great how her lying skills get better so that she lies herself and she doesn't know it, or does she?

"You have a crush on him… where do you have the chain?"

"It's from him, I can't wear it," whispered Claudia. She still had it and she didn't realize it (just like so much other things) in her hand.

„Do you wanna show him, than you don't care? You don't think 'bout him?" She didn't really ask. They both knew the answer. Lee also knew what her sister wanted recommend, but maybe if she just hide that white gold chain, she can say herself that it was just two-week fantasy, and now she's just practicing for West Side Story.

„You have to wear it, you just like it, nothing more, it's just stupidity."

„No it isn't," blurted Lee before she could change her mind.

„And I know it. I don't how he thinks, but if my… something like boyfriend after our something like break-up and I know it wasn't break-up because you weren't dating," Oh boy, we were dating, it wasn't just hook-ups, Claudia thought, but not too long. „Would wear something from me, I'd say that he doesn't care, that it's just something, but if he wouldn't wear it…"

There were some much something's and would's for Lee, but she got it. „But if he'd wear it, you'd think that he's hurt and want to forget… I know, but what if he will think vice versa?"

"It's just a chain, isn't it? You have to create your own role and for that role the chain means nothing," suggested Jules and Claudia were once again glad she has her.

"What would I do without you, Jules?"

"That's easy; Patty would help just like in primary school and middle high. Dad says that friends don't exist, just family. She's really great friend though and she loves you as much as I do… well I love you little bit more than her," laughed lightly Jules and continued: "And eat it! Will you go downstairs when others come?"

"Of course I will. And with this," smiled Claudia for the first from their return from Spain. She point to her white gold chain in her hand. "Will you button up it for me?"

"You know I will," said Juliet and do exactly what her sister told her so. And then she left her alone. And for very long time she was proud of herself.

If there will be someone who will like it, I post next chapter soon. I have written seven chapter in my birth language and translating take about four hours or so, so I post it as soon as I could.

But I don't want to hope too much.