Mourning

Irony In Mourning

Rukia/Byakuya

One-Shot

Rukia tripped through the door to the bathroom as she emptied her stomach contents into the watery basin. She pulled her hands away from the rim to hold her unruly hair away from the offending liquid. She felt empty, cold just like the disgusting toilet she was currently spending time with. She gasped as her esophagus spasmed finishing its task of purging her stomach. She raised her head as she shakily flushed the toilet, the sound of gushing water greeting her.

This was never supposed to happen; everything was supposed to be perfect as Byakuya finally confessed his love to her. They were supposed to get married and have children and finally die together maybe on the battlefield or in there old age; she would have taken either one. She laughed bitterly at the irony of accomplishing just one. She never should have entered his room one month ago when she had finished her mission and went to report back in, she should have just waited until morning like she usually did that way she couldn't stay and small talk because he was work laden all day.

Instead she had gone to report. She had walked through the gates of the great Kuchiki household, her feet dragging behind her as exhaustion set in and rain pelted down on her lithe unprotected form. She had knocked at his room as she watched droplets of water drip off of her hakama pants.

With a cold demeaning "Come in" she had slid the door open to reveal a shirtless Byakuya, lids closed and lying down on his bed.

After she had reported in while trying to avert her eyes elsewhere but failing miserably, she mumbled a goodnight and went to turn around but his voice stopped her.

"Turn around" he commanded rising to his feet and walking towards her, his pants swishing restlessly as he went. She slowly turned around as her breath caught in her throat and a blush rose to meet her cheeks, her heart was trampling her ribcage as she prayed that he couldn't hear how nervous she was. He stopped in front of her his eyes cast downward as he took in her feeble figure below him, her eyes followed his and she hissed in shock. The effects of the wet, cold weather appeared to have set in as she stared at her chest through her soaked shirt.

She pulled away as a hand touched her chin lifting her head up to meet there eyes. For a split second she didn't know what to expect, his eyes were so full of emotion, that of which she couldn't distinguish. Despite her dreams he hadn't confessed his love to her as he kissed her instead he had leant down, his breath tickling the nape of her neck and whispered a shaky "Stay with me tonight", and that was all. She had woken up the next morning to stifling cold blankets, matted hair, and the overwhelming scent of sex.

That one night was the reason that she was contemplating her life in this bathroom this very second. The next month she had found out she was pregnant, and for the next month after that she had tried to figure out what she was going to do. Finally after going through all of her options she had stonily gone to the fourth division headquarters and spoke to Unohana-Taicho.

She slumped over as the floodgates opened and she rolled into the fetal position. She clenched her fist as she bit down on it, crimson staining her milky flesh as she tried to stifle the horrific screams. It had just sunk in that she had killed an innocent life. She hadn't killed as an order or for self defense; she had killed because she had made what had seemed to be a small and insignificant mistake. Nobody would ever know that a new life had existed for a shard of time and in turn nobody would mourn. Her baby would never take there first steps, never speak there first words, get married, have kids, have there first heartbreak, however it had taken the last step prematurely.

She took her hand out of her jaw as the breakdown stilled; she rolled on her back as she stared at the ceiling, the metallic smell of fresh blood mixing in with the pungent smell of her bile. She knew that she would go on, she would laugh again, fight again, and most importantly breathe again, she knew that she alone would bear the burden of what she had done however she would get through it, because it is always harder to block something out as if it weren't there when everybody else didn't acknowledge it.

Wow that was depressing to write. I just needed to vent my emotions out and I hope that everyone enjoyed it. As stated before I am now a Beta-Reader and I offer out my services. Special thanks to the many people who favorited and reviewed my story "Sterile" which is an Orihime/Ulquiorra story. Just to let everybody know I do have other stories posted on this site and I wouold appreciate it if people read them and gave me feedback.

So remember,

REVIEW,REVIEW,REVIEW

Thanks,

Amanda-Hime