UNDER THE INFLUENCE

AUTHOR: Gnasher1618. STORY SUMMARY: While under the influence of alcohol Tai always knows best. Well at least that's what he thinks. But when he offers Matt relationship 'advice' things take an unexpected turn and before they know it his lips are on Matt's. Although both boys are straight Tai gives into his urges yet Matt takes the realisation that he may like Tai badly (Contains graphic sex scene). *TAI/MATT*

IMPORTANT: PLEASE SEE THE BOTTOM FOR MY AUTHORS NOTE.

Chapter 1: Under the Influence

An extremely drunk Tai wandered though the wilderness searching for his closest companion. "Matt?" he bellowed out as he fought his way through the hordes of bodies. Man, why does he always go so far away from where all the actions at? He pondered analytically. He stumbled as he reached the outskirts of the social gathering where his comrade lay slouched with his legs crossed leaning against a tree stump for much-needed support. He was examining the night sky which was full of beautiful luminous spheres all honey coloured. Just like the Digital World. Few people where in the surrounded area as they had deviated so far away from all the party goers, but the ones that did were mostly making out or on the floor passed out. They were in the middle of one of Japan few 'green' spaces. In its entirety the country consisted of spiraling grey objects; all of which battling to see who can reach the sun first with a few patches of green land scattered in-between. They just so happened to be in one of the bigger patches.

"Hey! Matt! Where'd' ya get to!?" A practically elated Tai toppled down awkwardly on the ground which was still slightly damp with the dew brought in by the spring months. Lowering his head to Matt's lap, a very cheery, very wasted and very annoying Tai began "Matt, can we talk? I have something reeaallyy important I want to tell yoouuu". Ergh, I hate it when he takes that long drawn out tone with me, sometimes I think Tai does things just because he knows it will annoy me, almost like he knows exactly what buttons to press and just when to press them, it's like he knows me better than I know myself.

"Tai, what d'ya want? You know I hate it when you've had a drink, you're only ever after one thing and it usually involves a certian part of your body that I quite frankly have no interest in whatsoever" A look of what can only be described as hurt flashed upon face as he pouted "Nuh-uh. Why'd ya always have to be so... Well... So meeaannn for Matt!? This is a secret! One that only you can know. I just wanna tell you something." He said with an ominous smirk.

Matt furrowed his brow iconoclastically and lowered his head curiously to get a closer look into his eyes; after all the eyes are the windows to soul, or so they say. His friend shifted uncomfortably under his iron clad gaze until he was content in his new positioning on Matt's lap; his perfectly comfortable lap, where only I'm allowed, no one else, just me.

"Okay. What's up?" he asked with a quizzical look. Taking a few moments to evaluate the situation in his intoxicated mind Tai adopted a more serious face, one that very few people had ever seen other than Matt "Well, I just wanted you to know... I love you. I really do love you. I mean we've been through so much together and were still friends. I just need you to know that I'll always be here for you Matt, as a friend, as whatever. It'll always be the two of us!" And that being said, Tai's cocky persona returned to him; his devilish wink, and cheesy smile that usually meant trouble for the both of them when it decided to make its reappearance. Matt could tell he was blatantly drunk, he always had a tendency to ramble when he was.

Two girls sitting on a bench near them let out a choked of muffled laughter sending Matt twenty shades of red in just as many seconds. He had really annoyed me at this point, Tai always knew how to embarrass me at the worst possible moment! There I was staring at the beautiful calming sky, but no, Tai has to waltz in a ruin that doesn't he? He always invades my privacy with meaningless comments that will no doubt be completely forgotten at the first break of dawn.

"Tai?" Matt asked wearily with an air of caution, "If you want to get all cheesy, why don't you just go find a girl, or Sora even, we all know she has the 'hots' for you."

"Well... Errmmmmm... I kinda told her I wasn't interested in her... And she ran of crying..."

"What!? Tai what the hell did you say to her!?" He countered. Usually I wouldn't be surprised about him making girls cry, I mean he wasn't exactly the most sensitive of people. But I knew Tai just as well as I knew the palm of his hand, and trust me, with the way my relationships are going at the moment I know that extremely well. There was just something in the back of my mind that told me there was more to this than first meets the eye, that I should maybe keep probing, I dropped it though, I didn't really cared too much to be entirely honest.

"I didn't say nothin'!" Tai retorted. "I just said that she wasn't the one for me..." He added, looking slightly weaker in composure than before.

"Tai, I find that really hard to believe. 99% of your brain and bodily functions are dictated by what's in your pants, so why on earth would you of all people turn down a perfectly attractive girl?"

"Look I'm just not interested in her okay! And that's not true... I do have feelings too y'know" more than you realise, Tai muttered under his breath. Leaning upwards he began to whisper into Matt's ear, his warm, comforting breath stirred and brought to life the wispy hairs encased there. "So Matty," He whispered "How's your little Junny Wunny Bear?" he asked humorously.

Matt immediately went rigid and tensed up on the spot, more with embarrassment and humiliation than annoyance. "We decided were not right for each other. More like she's not right for anyone. Decided to go our separate ways."

"Come on Matt, I know you better than that. Why'd you really break up?"

It was annoying how well Tai knew him. "Well... Erm... She wanted to..."

A long pause fell between the two before Tai broke the silence "Go on..."

"She wanted to have sex" He blurted out.

"And why didn't you?"

"I can't Tai... I don't know why... But I just can't"

"It's just nerves Matt, it'll pass, just you see."

"No Tai, it's really not."

"It really is! I was so scared my first time! But it's so amazing! It's like riding a bike, once you learn you never forget! I'm telling you man, it's just nerves."

"NO TAI! IT'S NOT!" The sudden outburst rousing the attention of the two girls situated by them again.

The tanned boy sat up again, looking around. "Matt, do you want to talk about it? We can go somewhere a little more - secluded if you want? Just the two of us. You can be honest then" Matt caught a glimpse of something in Tai's eyes, it intrigued him. He'd never seen that look in his eyes before, he couldn't work out if it was a hint of mystery or fear.

Trying to avoid the situation "Tai, can't we just stay here? Id rather just -"

Tai may have been drunk, but he knew Matt and he knew that waiting for something to happen never works, so he decided to take action by grabbing the pale boys hand. He wrenched upwards bringing the other DigiDestiened with him with such force Matt was sure he'd popped his shoulder out of joint.

He dragged Matt to the quietest area that the forest had to offer, the gently humming of music was now completely gone and so was the little light that the gathering of people had created. The moon was the only light that peaked through the forest canopy before escaping in the thickly congested wooded area. Matt bit his lip, although there were other places I'd rather be, I have to admit that the glow from the moon, the stars that were much more prominent here were a lot more peaceful and relaxing; it was nothing less than beautiful. Although a lot of the time Tai can come across as a massive inconsiderate dick, sometimes he can actually be quite thoughtful. Tai stopped in front of the largest tree in the area which upon closer inspection had his name carved into the brittle bark that coated it. Matt suspected that his male companion had known about this region of the forest for some time. I don't think he's taken many others here. It made me feel kinda special truthfully.

"Can we talk now?... Please?..." Tai asked earnestly and apprehensively. "I can't shake this feeling that there's something you're not telling me."

Letting out a sign of defeat Matt started remorsefully "It's not Jun" He paused, unsure how to continue. "It's me. It's always been me. I just... Can't do it." Usually I'd put up more of a fight... But Tai has this air about him - No matter how hard I try he always seems to get it out of me. So I decided to give in now rather than later and save myself the annoyance Tai just naturally seems to be when he wants something.

"Like I said Matt, it's just the nerves, It'll get better." The silence was enough a response for Tai "Look, I know Jun's really annoying. And... She's not the most attractive girl in the school but it just takes time. There's no such thing as 'can't' when it comes to sex! You just have to let it flow, and trust me Matty; when it flows, it really flows!"

I literally had to try my hardest to keep my dinner down and not puke everywhere by the sheer amount of cringe Tai's last comment had provided. "Your drunk. I hate it when your drunk and you know that because you never listen to me! Why can't you just drop this Tai! It doesn't involve you. Its my problem and I'll deal with it. Alone."

"Matt... You don't have to... I'm here for you..."

"No, Tai. It just feels wrong okay? I'm... I'm not normal... And I hate that"

Looking what can only be explained as sympathetic, he started "Matt... Y'know, when we were younger and we were in the Digital World... I thought you were so cool... You were so amazing in my eyes... And I just loved being around you... You were normal to me, in fact no. You were much better than that to me"

"So... What am I now...?"

"You're the same Matt... Your my best friend... I'll always feel the same..."

"Tai..."

"Yeah Matt?"

"Your such a good friend..."

Tai stepped closer to Matt, placing their foreheads together, he brought his hands up to cup the others face "Matt... Have you ever thought about us being more than just good friends?..." He gaze slowly rose to meet that of the cold blue orbs staring back at him. I could feel his breath on my lips. It was so inviting, so warm. "Tell me - does this really feel so wrong?"

Their eyes fluttered closed, like the wings of a butterfly, beautifully and elegantly Tai brushed his lips over Matt's. For what felt like ages they stayed there in this tender embrace. I never knew this side of Tai existed, the sweet gentle side of him. But to say it felt wrong would be a lie, it felt so good; like a dream you never want to wake up from, one you want to savour every moment of before it comes to an abrupt end.

Tai let his lips linger there a few moments longer before letting his tounge escape his heavenly mouth, like his lips had before him, he ever so slightly brushed it over Matt's lips to deepen the kiss; sending Matt back to reality. He cleared his throat alerting them and bringing them back from their fantasy world. "Tai..." he whispered in a husky voice. "This is so wrong... You're drunk... And... We shouldnt be doing this".

Tai replied in the form of another kiss, this one much more fierce than the last. He used his tounge again to catch Matt off guard. eliciting a moan he momentarily opened his mouth just long enough for Tai to slip his tounge inside and take advantage of the situation. He tasted so good, like cherry drops with the hint of the bitter alcohol he had consumed earlier. It was like our tounges were dancing. So warm... So perfect... But the realisation that the person was not only one of his closed friend but a male sent him spiralling back down from his momentary high.

"Tai, I'm not gay. Why are you doing this to me?"

"I'm not gay either Matt... I... Dont really know... It just feels right." Dont get me wrong, it's not like I couldn't have any girl or even boy that I wanted, they were all throwing themselves at me feet after all. But Matt was different, sure ive been around the block more times than I care to remember, but he was always someone that eluded me. He's so detached from his emotions it kind of interests me to see him react this way to me, like he doesn't really know what he wants... Sometimes... I really wish it was me.

Occasionally when he's was almost paralytically drunk Tai comes on to me, I never liked it. It was always awkward. I mean we were such close friends after the digital world that it put a sour taste in my mouth, in more ways than one. But I kind of enjoyed it... It was always full of adrenaline. I always felt a pit in the bottom of my stomach when he was near me, I guess ive just never worked out if that's a good or bad thing. But I guess I like it when he flirts with me. I very rarely flirt back... But I always used to get this warm feeling inside when he'd lick my earlobe, or twist locks of my hair in-between the pads of his fingertips. It was of course all under the influence of alcohol, hence why I don't really like him drinking much; im scared ill indulge a bit longer than than I should do. It just makes me feel strange - but strange in a good way... And that's what worried me... I shouldnt like it... Its wrong.

"Please Tai... Stop... We can just forget all this ever happened" A single tear fell from Matt's eye. I... I really want this... But... At the same time I know I don't. It's so wrong. But it feels so right.

"Matt... I don't want to forget all this ever happened" I've waited too long for that Tai muttered under his breath as he slid his hands down Matt's body savouring every spot along the way until he reached the nape of his back where he stroked, meaningfully but lustfully.

"Tai...?"

"Does it feel wrong Matt?"

"No." He replied coldly; but if he masked how he felt then maybe he could make himself believe he didn't feel it. Even though he knew that wouldn't work. I'm scared... I'm worried that if I give in... they'll be no going back.

"I want to kiss you again... Can I?"

"I'm... Not sure." I want to, I want to so badly. His lips are like a little piece of heaven, a piece of me that's missing... Makes me whole. He knows he wants nothing more than to kiss him, but every part of his mind tells him not to, yet every part of his heart tell him to give into the animatistic urges inside him, to give into temptation.

"I just wanna kiss you, Matt," he murmured, on the verge of being sweet looking wantonly through his puppy dog eyes. And in that moment, everything slipped away, that fact they were friends, the fact they were both male. And all that matter was that they were both there. And no matter how much they didn't want to admit it they both wanted - no needed this. Tai raised his hand so that his wrists were situated under Matt's armpits and his hands cupped his shoulder pulling him impossibly closer and his friends arms met at the waist where they clasped each other and held him firmly in place.

"Please. Let me kiss you." And with that being said, both entity's became one as their mouths collided into one hot messy wreck. Both men became a mess of limbs as the kiss intensified, hands roamed over what felt like every inch of their body's, Matt opted for a more controlled response and grabbed a handful of Tai's lusciously soft mane. His lips are so amazing, so comforting and warm, so smooth and plump. I never imagined Tai would taste like this. I always thought he'd be much more of a selfish and inconsiderate kisser. But... It seems like he's being the opposite. I feel like all he wants is to make me feel good. And by god he's defiantly doing that.

Stumbling over a large root that broke the earth beneath his feel trying to get closer to Tai, he lost his footing and were it not for Tai's strong, masculine embrace he would have been a heap on the floor. Matt chuckled lightly at the thought, it just so happened that the chuckle coincided with Tai pressing his crotch against Matt's. Taking his reaction as positive Tai proceeded to grind and thrust forwards into Matt, shocking him into releasing a moan into his friends mouth. Taking this as further assurance Tai let his hand snake down the front of his friends body and under the waistline of Matt's boxers.

A gasp escaped his lips as it brought tears to his eyes and he felt his very skilled friend squeeze his rock hard erection inquisitively and begin to pump up and down in a rhythmic pattern.

"Matt... Did I do this..?" He asked in his usual sarcastic slightly cocky tone.

Matt shuddered, fighting the urge to just cum all in Tai's hand. In a jerking motion he proceeded to bring Matt closer to orgasm as he upped his pace grinding into his own knuckle to provide himself with some much needed attention as he began to jack Matt off fiercely at this point.

It wasnt long before Matt was moaning with pleasure. His fingernails raked down Tai's clothed back until they slipped under the rim of his shirt. It was such a turn on for Matt feeling the muscles of his friend chiseled shoulders raise and contract and he continued to please him. He brought his hands to the front of his newly made lover and pinched hard at the nipples that were situated there. Running his hands over the solid pectoral muscles and down to his abs which were very evident giving Tai's athletic background. The boys had long since parted mouths to let their ever intensifying shallow gasps escape. But feeling that he was getting all the attention in the pleasure department, Matt licked Tai's bottom lip before nuzzling his head in is neck and placing desperate chasse kisses over the bit of exposed flesh.

"Hmmmmmmm... Feels good Matt..." Tai sighed contently.

The second Matt stopped for air, Tai returned the favour and latched onto his neck in a vampieric fashion. He belongs to me Tai thought If I mark him everyone will know then, Matt's mine. Sucking so hard it brought the blood to the surface, strangely enough it brough the victim pleasure although the idea of love bites disgusted him. Just like Tai, he thinks I dont know what he's up to but I know he's 'marking his territory', he's like an animal in more ways than he realises.

"Is this how you treat all your girlfriends, Tai? Ambush them in the middle of no-where and take advantage of them?" I was hurt. I was also experiencing the best feeling I had ever felt. But this was Tai, he was a boy... It was my Tai. And just by knowing that we shouldnt be doing this and now unfazed he was by it all it made me want to hurt his just as much as it was hurting me. But I wanted him to feel good too. I'm pretty much stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Tai halted his actions for a very brief moment, although to Matt it felt like years. I wouldn't need to if you knew how I felt about you he muttered silently. The act then resumed more intensified than before as the two battled to rid the other of the fabric imprisonment their hard appendages faced. Tai made quick work of Matt's belt and zipper, it isn't my first time y'know Tai grinned thinking to himself. But Matt struggled with the button on Tai's rather tight jeans, in the end Matt just gave up and let Tai undo it himself before immediately grabbing his friends zipper and tugging it down. Both boys ripped open the others trousers and pulled down their boxers just enough to free themselves. They both gasped as their naked erections touched for the first time; sending bolts of electricity through the both of them. Once again they found themself gazing into the others eyes silently asking for approval to continue. Tai grabbed Matt by his hair and brought him in for another blissful kiss, he began to get impatient and resumed his thrust against his fellow DigiDestiend, painfully slow at first before intensifying to a fast, hard, rhythmic pace. It sent a shiver down Matt's spine knowing that another mans penis was causing this sheer amount of pleasure. It was certainly a strange experience for the both of them, neither had ever touched another mans appendage, but thrusting against one sure felt good!

I really don't want this. I want to stop. But... I don't want to... I never want to stop...

"Matt...!" Tai's exclaimed as his thrusting got so desperate and fast that Matt was sure it was actually generating enough friction to fry an egg. "Matt... I'm so close... Fuck I'm gonna -"

Looking down at the sight before him, which he might add, though wrong; was incredibly hot! I just felt like I had to... I guess curiosity got the better of me, I reached down and before I knew it I was rolling the head of Tai's beautiful penis between my fingers, it was bit fatter and longer than mine, but it felt wierd to be holding a penis that wasnt my own. Matt thumbed the slit on the head and used the pre-cum to slick the long shaft before he took his own cock in his hand along with Tai's and began to hysterically wank and thrust against the other before tugging his friend into pure ecstasy. With that said, Tai let out a loud gruntled moan and shot ribbons of his seed between the both of them. Typical of Tai, Matt though, always making a mess! The majority of it was on Matt, some even managed to reach the bottom of his chin. He watched on as Tai slowly opened his eyes after reaching his high, noticing his semen on the chin of the beauty before him, he gave a devilish smirk before extending his tounge and licking it off. He followed the semen trail until he was on his knees before Matt. Looking up into the azure eyes above him, his cocky smile made its reappearance before taking the whole of Matt's length into his warm, extremely warm mouth.

"Fuck Tai!" Was all that Matt could gasp out before trying to contain a sob from the back of his throat. He grabbed a fistful of the boy bringing him pleasure's hair and tried as hard as he could to not just mouth fuck him fiercely. Tai ran the tip of his tounge around the shaft of Matt's cock as he went from the base to the tip in each motion. Hmmm, Matt tasted good - why havent we ever tried this before! He used the pad of his tounge to lick and slurp on the hefty object in his mouth following a distinct vein that was protruding on the underside of the object. As he drew nearer to Matt with each bob he got a fateful of golden hair that was surrounding the appendage, and although he would never admit it, he was basking in the musky scent, or could it just be the fact that the scent belonged to Matt?

He was definitely skilled at this! Honestly I don't know why he didn't turn to sucking cock ages ago! Letting him slip from his mouth for just a millisecond he soon found that not only was his cock back in his mouth but so was his testicles. Just like Tai, always showing off. Feels good though. Way too good. Increasing his pace Matt knew that he wouldn't last long under the allure that was Tai's mouth. Gasping, he filled the DigiDestined's mouth with his own juices. Tai let out a little choke as he mouth met its capacity but felt very smug for doing so without spilling a drop of Matt's precious nectar.

I don't know where he learnt to do that, but he certainly has a talent for it.

Tai, now back on his feet feed his arm around the other before him until he groped the plump buttocks in front of him. Returning for another kiss Matt was brought back to arousal again by tasting his own produce on Tai's tounge. He had to admit it, although he still really didn't want to be there and really didn't like the situation he was in, in fact, he would pretty much cut off penis if it meant undoing the amazing act that had just occurred. But... Tai really was a fantastic kisser, not too much tounge, just the right amount for our tounges to dance harmoniously together, not to rough, but not too gentle. Just perfect. Aha I'm starting to sound like Goldilocks now! He matched the movements of the one before him as his hands unconsciously moved down to cup Tai's backside before squeezing and massaging the peachy orbs in his hand. Tai let a moan escape his lips before letting out a whimper. Lets be honest I was shocked! Mister detached of emotion was actually be thoughtful for once!

I took advantage of the situation even more, although I was quite frankly popped, I was going to milk this for all that it had, excuse the pun. Tai snaked his hand under the waistband of Matt's jeans and into the temple that was his boxers. Still slick with the pre-cum from Matt's cock he flicked his finger over the hole situated there.

"Tai... What are you doing - "

"Argh!" Was all that escaped Matt's lips that were now clamped shut as he felt the intrusion of a long finger that had been inserted into his very sacred place. Suddenly the situation felt very awkward to him, his cock was practically stuck to Tai's as the cum had dried and they were almost fused together by the same substance. Although the object inside of him did turn him on in a very dirty, naughty way, it was all too much for him at once.

Shock? Pain? Pleasure? They were the only thing Matt could think about when a second digit; the index met the middle finger in his puckered ring.

"Matt?... Do you want to go back to mine? Kari's at a friends and my parents are visiting my Grandma... It'll be just the two of us..."

A silent gasp penetrated his lips as he felt the fingers retreat before thrusting back up into him, fingering that oh-so-special spot inside of him sending jolts of pure ecstasy to his penis and pretty much every other body part he had. The realisation to what Tai was hinting towards struck him like two bricks to the face. Two very heavy, very large bricks. He looked up into the hazel pits, hoping to find solace but was met with only lust from the other. What he saw tipped the edge a little too much for his liking. It was in that moment that he realised what Tai wanted. To fuck him. To replace those digits with something very different. And there was a part of Matt that wanted to let him. A very small part mind you, a part that was hidden so deep than maybe Tai's cock was the only thing that could venture that deep to find it. And it scared him.

Suddenly back in reality after being swept up in the heat of the moment. "Stop!" Matt made out before squirming and braking free from the fingers that had violated him.

Tai jerked backwards as if he had just been struck down by Matt's fist's. "What's wrong Matt?" he whispered almost reassuringly, yet his face screamed confusion and hurt.

Matt backed away hastily, trembling and shaking. He struggled to his fly up and re-fasten his belt. He felt a flood of emotion as his eyes began to fill with tears after it had dawned on him what had just happened. "I... I need to go..."

"What? Why?"

"Look this never happened Tai! Okay!?" Matt spat with disgust, although he wasnt sure if he was disgusted with himself, Tai, or just the general situation.

Tai looked vulnerable, like a puppy with big brown eyes staring into the headlights of a fast approaching car. "What...? Matt this was the best experience of my life. And you're telling me it never happened?"

At this point Matt felt surrounded, like there was no escape. Like he was drowning, gasping for air but there was no air left to gasp. He felt truly trapped. His brow broke out into a sweat and his hands followed suit with miniscule droplets forming on his palms. "Tai... Please... Lets forget about this."

Tai backed off to re-zip and to button up his trousers. He looked so hurt... Had I done this to him? "Matt... Please..."

"No Tai! No! I told you to back off and you didn't! And look at where that's landed us! I'm covered in your cum and after this disaster... I feel so... Broken... And It's all your fault! I knew you were only after one thing as soon as you ruined my night. And that's the same thing your always after once you've had a drink!" the blond blurted out. Unsure if he was hurt of just devastated. Although his eyes welling up to the point of explosion didn't do much to answer that question either.

"I'm not always after one thing!" He paused briefly. "Actually no!" Correcting himself "Your right! I am! But it's not what you think... Its you I'm after... It's always been you Matt... You've just been too dumb to see it..."

"Oh! Now im dumb too!? Go fuck yourself Tai. Because you're sure as hell not fucking me." Matt responded as he did a 180 and walked in the opposite direction. Tears began to cascade down. Damn that Tai. He thought. Why does he always have to ruin things? Why couldn't he just let it be? Now he's everything ruined. He stopped momentarily, he wasnt sure if it was to see if Tai was following him or to just take a moment to gather his thoughts. He was almost disappointed when he turned to find he was alone, but maybe it was better that way. When you've lived your whole life alone why change it now? When the only person you let in breaks your heart and ruins a perfectly good - if not strained relationship. I guess that's what this DigiDestiened was 'destined' to be. Alone. The Crest of Friendship? What a fucking joke.

IMPORTANT: AUTHORS NOTE: This is the first fanfiction where I've used italics to represent characters thoughts, so let me know what you think about it. I know it still has a lot of work that needs doing on things such as punctuation and spelling but hopefully its better my other fanfictions. Please enjoy and feel to review, after all any criticism or positive reviews will aid in me producing the best story I possible can. Thank you for reading.

It has been brought to my attention by 'bed of nails and sandpaper' that my story shares various similarities with 'Mickleditch's story 'Change my world'. I would like to rid any doubt that my story is copied or plagiarized from this FanFiction. I would like to state that I had absolutely no idea who this author was before this has been brought up and I also had no knowledge of the story, although after reading them; I can see why people would think that. But please check out this author and story for yourself because after checking it out myself I can confirm it is a very good story. But again, I must deny any claims that I would copy another authors work as I myself would be greatly upset if anyone copied one of mine. I am currently working on a second chapter, but it may take longer than first anticipated because in all honestly this has left a bit of a sour taste in my mouth for this story, which has greatly upset me considering how proud I was with the first chapter. But I do not blame any of the readers because your doing exactly what I asked; giving your opinions. And I do greatly respect you all for bringing it to my attention.

I have to be honest, after reading 'Mickleditch's Fanfiction I really did consider editing this because even myself cannot deny the stories are practically identical. But I really don't feel that I should, I poured my heart into this story and It took me a ridiculous amount of time to make something I was truly proud of. But although I respect everyone's reviews I can't really see a way to prove my innocence. If I rewrite im making myself look guilty, if I don't im also making myself look guilty. And now I don't really know how to continue this fanfiction. I planed on having Tai making a great romantic gesture by proving his love for Matt publically, but now I feel that's too close to 'Mickleditch's story which leaves me at a lost. I actually feel really defeated by this. I've had private messages from readers accusing me of rewriting 'Mickleditch's work and that im a terrible author for doing so. Some have messaged me saying im rambling with the italics and that it ruins the story, others say there's not enough. Some viewers have told me to take my story down, others have told me to continue and not to worry. And some have told me that my characterization is poor and others have praised it. I do understand that writing a story you need to be prepared for both good and bad conflicting reviews, but I don't know if im ready for this. When you've spent so long on something to be bogged down by so many people it really does make me wonder if I should carry on with a second chapter.

When I first published this story, when Id think about it I always felt a feeling of pride for producing it and happiness for being able to. But now, it's the exact opposite, I feel a sense of depression that readers would think so lowly of me. I tried so hard with that, and in comparison to my other stories, I thought they were terrible compared to this. Now I don't really know what to think. And after some of the quite hurtful messages I've received I'm considering If I should even carry on writing all together.

Sorry for all the controversy this has caused. I set out to create a rich, emotion evoking story. But instead the emotion I evoked wasnt the one I wished for, the exact opposite in fact.
So I guess im not really sure of the future of my writing anymore. I'm not really sure if it worth this. Out of a 100, an author wants to please 100. But out of 100, I think I only pleased 10. To the few that did like this story, I'm sorry for the way this has gone. And I will publish a second chapter sometime in the next mouth. But I just need some time away from this story to regain my love for it (if that's possible)

Terribly sorry to all.

To all those that read this I greatly appreciate your time and your time means a lot to me. Thank you very much.

Many thanks.
Gnasher1618