Chapter 1
After being hospitalized for several weeks after the shooting at the pharmacy, was Mac home again. He still had some sharp pain in his back, and he had discovered that he had a difficult time remembering different names, colors and shapes. His doctor was the only one who knew this, and it should stay this way, because he saw it as a sign of weakness, not being able to remember the most simple things.
Mac stood in the hall and looked around in the apartment, when he felt a hand on his shoulder.
"Is it nice to be home again?"
Christine gave Mac's shoulder a little squeeze, before she placed herself in front of him and looked him lovingly into his green/brown eyes. Mac sent Christine one of his quirky, but rare smile and nodded.
"Yes, it will be great to sleep in my own bed, and in my own clothes. Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, I can easily take care of myself."
Christine looked seriously at Mac.
"You just got home after spending several weeks in the hospital, where you had surgery after being shot. The only reason you were discharged and able to go home, was because I promised that I would help you with everything."
Mac sighed and he knew that Christine was right. There were still many things that he couldn't handle himself. Just the task of taking ten steps was a big task for him, due to the pain in his back.
He could feel that he needed to sit down, because right now a stabbing pain shot down through his back and legs. Mac groaned and clenched his jaw together in hopes of the pain would disappear more quickly. Christine saw Mac's facial expression and, with her hand on his back, she helped him through the hallway and into the living room, where she helped him sit down in the armchair.
"You'll stay there, and then I'll fetch some water to your medication."
With these words, Christine left the living room and Mac turned his gaze out the window. Mac was not happy to be in this situation, helpless. It was not him being helpless, he had learned this when he was a marine in the Navy.
Christine returned with a bottle of water and his pills which Mac had to take three times a day.
"Here."
Christine handed Mac the water and the medication before she placed her self on the armrest. After Mac had swallowed the pills, he made a grimace due to the bad aftertaste of the drugs. When the last pill was swallowed Mac looked at Christine.
"What do you say we order some Chinese food? It's almost the only thing who can take the nasty aftertaste of my medication."
He gave her a small smile and looked into her green eyes. He loved to look Christine in her eyes. Her gaze was so warm he felt that if he looked her deep in the eyes, he would get lost in them.
"It's a deal. It's actually a long time since I last got Chinese food."
Christine was about to rise from the armrest, when Mac pulled her gently back.
"Christine, I'm really glad for your help, but as I said before, I can take care of myself."
Christine bent her head down so her face was right in front of Mac's, and she placed both her hands on his cheeks.
"I know that you are a very independent man Mac, and I know that you hate being in this situation, but that feeling you have to push away just until you're back on your feet again."
With these words she gave Mac a gentle kiss on the cheek, and disappeared out in the kitchen to order the food.
Mac saw Christine disappear around the corner, and when she was out of sight he turned his gaze out the window again. The last time he was marooned in his chair was two years ago when he during a chase of a suspect was thrown out of a balcony on the fourth floor. After that fall he had three broken ribs and a broken arm. At that time, he had also been told not to run around, but it all ended up with, that he had to rescue more than 250 people from a conspiratorial man.
Mac could hear Christine rummaging around in the kitchen, and he found it strange to think of Christine and him should get an everyday life up and running together, during the next many weeks. Christine had offered to move in with him, just until he was back on his feet again. She would help him with everything and make sure he didn't do things he was not allowed to do just yet. The last time a female had lived under the same roof as himself was for over 12 years ago, and that had been his late wife, Claire.
"Mac?"
Christine was back in the living room again, and Mac had not discovered her because he was so lost in his own thoughts. Mac turned his head and looked at Christine and gave her a little shy smile.
"Where were you? You looked so far away from this place."
Christine had come right up to Mac and pulled out the footstool so she could sit right in front him.
"I was just thinking back in time..."
Mac turned his head towards the window again, he didn't want to let Christine know, that he was nervous to have her living with him. Not because he didn't want her to live with him, but he was nervous that he couldn't get used to being alone again after she had moved back to her own place.
" Mac."
Christine gently laid her hands on his cheeks and turned his face, facing her.
"I know that you are a very reluctant and personal man, and I know that I'm overstepping your boundaries by moving in. But it's only temporary. Remember that."
She looked him in his eyes in a long time, hoping that she could penetrate his shield. Mac led one of his hands up to Christine's and took it in his.
"You're not overstepping my boundaries by moving in, and I know it is temporary. I'm more nervous about how I will react when you move out again."
Mac looked down at her hand as he stroked it gently. He could not believe how easy Christine could break his shield. Only one other person could do that, and she was in New Orleans – his former partner, Stella Bonasera. Mac quickly looked up again, and what he saw made him regret what he had just said. Christine looked as if she had seen a ghost, totally pale in her face.
"Christine, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have said that."
Christine took her hand away and pulled slightly away from Mac. She didn't expect this and therefor it came as a big shock for her. She thought Mac had changed since the shooting. He would never have been so open to her before the shooting.
Christine could hear Mac groan, when he slowly got up from the armchair. Mac placed his hand on her shoulder and gave it a little squeeze.
"Christine, I know what I just said came as a shock for you and I shouldn't have said it like that. But I have to be honest to myself and to you. I'm extremely fond of you and I'm glad that I have you in my life. The shooting has changed me, I'm not the same as I was before I was shot."
While Mac spoke, Christine turned around so she looked into his eyes and she saw that he meant every word.
"Mac, I don't know what to say. I didn't expect this. We have only been together for four month, and then you come with this, a huge love declaration, which many only will receive after several years of being together."
Mac took both her hands in his, and was about to say something, when there was a knock on the door.
"It must be dinner."
Christine removed her hands from his and went to open the door.
The dinner took place very quiet. Neither Mac or Christine knew what to say to each other, so there was quite quiet in the apartment. When they were done eating, Christine began to clean up after them. Mac had gone into the guest room to make it ready for Christine, and he was going to put the pillow cover over the pillow when Christine was standing in the door.
"Mac Taylor! What are you doing?"
Mac looked at Christine, and he looked like a child who had been caught doing something wrong.
"I just wanted to make the bed ready for you while you were doing the dishes. I feel bad that it's you who must do everything in this house."
Christine went to Mac and took the pillow out of his hands.
"You just relax and take it easy."
Mac sighed, he was already tired of not being allowed to do anything. Slowly he went back to the living room, sat down on the couch and turned on the TV. He flipped through the different channels before he found a crime program.
After a few minutes Christine came back to the living room and she sat down at the opposite end of the couch. Just like during dinner, was there quite quiet in the apartment and after another 10 minutes Christine couldn't stand the silence anymore. She reached for the remote and turned off the TV.
"Hey! I was actually watching that program."
Mac looked at Christine and reached for the remote control. But the movement he made could his back not stand and a pain shot down his back. Christine placed the remote control on the coffee table and helped Mac up in a comfortable position.
"Mac, we have to talk about what you said before our dinner came."
Mac was trying to get control of the pain, but as soon as he heard what Christine said, he forgot all about the pain. Since Mac didn't said anything, Christine took the word.
"Mac, I'm extremely fond of you too and never in my hole life have I been more afraid of loosing you, both during the surgery and when you was lying unconscious after the surgery. But somewhere, I feel that we're going a little too fast in our relationship and I would be lying if I said I didn't consider whether you should find someone else to help you."
While Christine was talking, Mac had an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach, and he feared that Christine would disappear out of his life too. Just like Payton and Aubrey did some years ago.
"But I have chosen to stay, because you keep what you have promised. And I have promised that I'll help you the next few months. Therefore, I think that we need to establish some rules. We imagine that the guest room is my apartment, and if you enter, you knock on the door first. And when we're together here in the living room or the kitchen, then we're, as we're when we visit each other. We don't normally live together, and we should stick to that."
Christine looked directly in Mac's eyes.
"Is this something that you can vouch for?"
Mac gave Christine's hand a gentle squeeze and sent her a smile.
"Yes, I can."
Christine gave Mac a kiss on the cheek.
"Perfect. Then it's a deal."
Christine looked at the clock and jumped out from the couch.
"Oh my God! I have completely forgotten the time. You should have had your medicine 30 minutes ago."
With these words, she rushed out of the living room and out in the kitchen to fetch some water. She placed the water-glass on the coffee table, before she rushed out in the bathroom after the pills.
When Mac had swallowed his pills, he turned on the TV again, but the crime program he was watching had already ended, so he looked at the different channels, without finding anything that had his interest. Christine was sitting on the other end of the couch and read in a book, but somehow she found it difficult to concentrate. She placed the book on the coffee table and directed her attention to the TV, but just like the book, she also found it difficult to concentrate on what was happening on the TV screen. But this was due to Mac, who continued to change channels.
"Mac, will you be kind enough to find one channel and stay on that one?"
Christine looked at Mac, and a small laugh escaped her mouth.
"What you're doing, makes me dizzy."
Mac stopped and looked at Christine and he couldn't help but giggle a little.
"I'm sorry, I'm just not used to that there is someone else in the room with me in the evening. Have you found anything of interest on my channel tour?"
Christine, who again had turned her attention to the screen, shook her head.
"No I haven't."
Christine took a quick look at her watch and got up from the couch.
"I just think that I'll go to bed, it's getting late. Sleep tight Mac. If there's anything, you can just call me, okay?"
Mac looked at her and then down at his watch. It was only 10:30 PM and Mac wanted to ask if they should watch a DVD movie, but he didn't.
"Thank you, and to you too Christine. See you tomorrow."
Christine went to Mac, bent down and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Then she straightened up and was about to turn around, but Mac stopped her by gently gripping her arm. Gently he pulled her back to himself and with the other hand he led her head against his. He loved Christine's scent, it was like a warm summer breeze mixed with the scent of cherry blossoms. Gently he led her lips to his, and the touch was like there was small explosive charges throughout his body that exploded. Slowly the kissed was turned into a more and more deep and passionate one. Christine had both her hands run through his strong hair, while she enjoyed the kiss and his touch. But suddenly Christine pulled back and looked at Mac. She was breathless and her cheeks were a little red.
"I'd better go to bed. Goodnight Mac."
With these words Christine disappeared into the guest room and left Mac for himself in the living room. Mac leaned back on the couch and ran both hands through his hair, while he blew out. He knew he had done something stupid, but at the same time it felt so right. Mac turned off the TV and chose to go to bed and try to get some sleep.