Author's Note: I know I know I've got Paper Cuts to finish. You should just crucify me. Really, I've been a bad writer and friend to you all. I have a problem and I will admit it, I have ADD sometimes when it comes to my stories, but this idea was just screaming at me. Fellow writing comrades I'm sure you understand.

DISCLAMIER: Don't sue me! I own nothing! If you sue all you will get is a large room with many books and crumbled papers… and yes possibly a week old peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

WARNING: This piece of work contains homosexuality if you are offend by this please pass it by. I'm in no mood to listen to whiny closed minded people. Also, it contains various religious statements and beliefs.

Inspiration: True conversations with true tears, past e-mails of a new friend, and the song I Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You by Melanie Doane.

Sunday School Rules: "Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality" –Emily Dickinson (The Lady in White- the woman I' am most likely to become, minus all the wicked poetry.)

…

-Prolog-

Lilly,

I saw your photograph in the paper today. You can just imagine my surprise. There I was drinking a nice warm cup of tea while half studying for my English exam and half flipping through the Lifestyles section and BAM! There was your photo. It was beautiful, if I'm allowed to say so.

It's funny, I've been thinking about you all day. I miss you. Isn't that silly? All these years and your face still lingers in my mind. But I miss you, oh, I miss you. I miss your hands, I yearn for them. You had such lovely ha-

I tear out the paper from my notebook crumble it and throw it down. This whole thing is ridiculous, preposterous nonsense. I need to be studying for my exams. I need to be calling my dad and telling him I'm doing 'just great.'

I rub my temples slowly. My roommate, Annie, is gone for the evening, out with her boyfriend. The campus is mostly barren, what with finals wrapping up and Graduation just around the corner. I whirl around in my office chair with the wheels on the bottom. I'm acting so out of character.

I should stop reading the paper if I'm going to be seeing her name in it. I might as well quit college and buy a small cottage out in the middle of the woods and be alone forever and a day. What is wrong with me?

I glance around the cramped room, how the movers ever fit two beds in here will forever be contemplated in the very back of my mind. Annie's side of the room is messy, I can't stand it. She's like a man, clothes on the ground, books and papers staked together in the most unorganized way.

And then there's my side. Clean, neat, everything has its place. My bed is made, the covers perfectly even on each side and my pillows resting dead center.

My desk light is burning into my eyes. My notes from English class are all out and my flashcards are ready to be study, so why can't I bring myself to work? The newspaper is lying slightly crinkled on my bed the page with her name and picture open, mocking me. Yes, that's exactly what it is doing- mocking.

This is absurd, I was doing fine. I was getting by! I was just learning to breathe again without the heart wrenching realization that it's over. My hand goes to the golden cross locket hanging heavy over my chest. I fiddle with the object as my eyes dart from fresh white paper to the newspaper.

Sighing in a defeated manner I slip the cap off my black pen and begin writing again.

Lilly,

I was fumbling through the paper this morning and guess what I saw, you. As you can imagine it was a rather shocking surprise. I guess you did it, huh? The article says you're going to be having a gallery showing off all your photography next week. Congratulations, I knew you could do it.

It's funny, the exact moment I read your name everything came washing over me. Acting much like a large tidal wave, and it hurt. Everything in me these days hurts. Do you remember the first time we met? You were hanging upside down. Your golden hair cascading down like thick rays of sunlight, your eyes were closed as you laughed. It was stunning.

I'm sorry to randomly disrupt your life by writing this. But, oh Lilly, I miss you so mu-

I whip the paper from the desk and tear it to shreds. Madness! Oh why does it have to be so hard? I put my head in my hands and let one solitary whimper escape my mouth. Lillian Truscott will be the death of me, no doubt about it.

……

Author's Note: A little rough around the edges that I will admit. So basically it's the same deal as Paper Cuts we're living in another universe so I'm cutting things out and putting new things in (because that's so much more fun then sticking with the rules.) I'm not sure how this will go. I'm just rolling with the punches on this one. My outline is still a little hazy but hopefully in time all will be fine.

If the mood strikes you (hopefully not with lightening) then please by all means leave your thoughts.