This is my first fanfic, so please don't be overly critical XD at the same time, please give me constructive criticism as you see needed :3
This is just a bit of fluff I wrote describing what I imagined going through Gwen's mind after Arthur died :'(
These are obviously not my characters, all Merlin characters belong to the BBC
My hands shook. Arthur's last token of love for me, embellished with the dragon symbol often emblazoned on his own chest, was clutched tightly in my palm, and I had no intention of ever letting it go.
The assembly before me was chanting, "Long live the Queen! Long live the Queen!" But that was the last thing I wanted. Yes, I understood that it was now my honorable duty to rule over Camelot, to be wise and just in my decisions, but how could I? At the moment, all I could think about was how I would never see Arthur again. I would never feel his muscular arms wrap around me, feel his coarse blond hair between my fingers, gaze into his beautiful blue eyes. It was all gone.
I knew he might not come back. As King, he was constantly in danger, but I couldn't picture my life without him. He was too important to me. How would I wake up in the morning and not see him beside me? How would I go to my chambers after a stressful day, and not feel his soft kiss reassuring me? How would I go to sleep without his arms around me?
At that moment, the sadness, the despair, and the loneliness crashed over me, choking me, and nearly crushing me with its dark cloud of hopelessness. I shut my eyes. I couldn't bear to look at all the people before me, expecting so much, not knowing that I was broken inside.
After some time, the crowd emptied from the hall and I was left alone, sitting in the exquisite throne that Arthur had ordered to be made especially for me. I ran my hands over the expensive velvet, remembering the day I had first sat in it, when Arthur had married me and made me his queen. I smiled slightly, remembering the pure bliss I felt as the crown was placed on my head, and I was able to kiss my new husband, not worrying about anything at all.
The smile quickly faded as I envisioned the dark future before me. I would never marry again, that much I was certain. I could never love another man, Arthur would forever have my heart. But I also knew this wallowing could not last forever. I had a kingdom to rule. I raised my chin, a new, burning determination inside me. With a mental image of my beautiful Arthur in my mind, I vowed to serve my kingdom the very best I could. For the love of peace. For the love of justice. For the love of Arthur.