The sun was warm and the breeze was fresh, it was a
perfect day to spend with those that you love. The gentle wind
rustled over him tugging playfully at his clothing and his hair. The
long grass in which he lay stroked his legs and arms occasionally
leaning to kiss his youthful face. Life really couldn't get any
better could it? Opening his bright blue eyes Roxas smiled sadly,
despite the tranquil beauty all around he felt so empty inside. There
was a hand lying carefully over his, his brother Sora was a
comforting presence and made the loneliness at least a little more
bearable. Turning his head he could see Sora's eyes were closed and
he was worlds away dreaming of Adventure most likely. His head was
resting on the head of his lover Riku who also seemed to be sleeping.
The fingers of one hand were automatically running through Sora's
soft brown hair. Roxas found himself giving another melancholy smile
and a deep sigh as he viewed his brother's carefree happiness. What
the blond boy wouldn't give for just a second of what they had,
could he go as far to say he was jealous of Sora and Riku? He
wondered deep down if he truly was happy for his brother, there was
something dark in his heart that wanted to tear them apart. Yet there
was something else, something softer and quieter, it could only be
called hope. Roxas had always believed that he would one day find
happiness like his brother, but how long did he have to feel empty
this way? How much longer could he even bear it?
Sitting up Roxas
looked down the tranquil hillside, he listened for a small while to
the whispers of the wind rushing through the trees surrounding the
lush meadow. It took a few minutes to dredge up the motivation to
physically move himself from the spot. He knew all to well three was
a crowd and he didn't belong on the grassy knoll with the young
lovers. Sora was so tolerant and so polite but Roxas figured to
himself that he was just intruding on his brother's space. Pushing
off the ground he got to his feet and brushed himself down. Where
to go from here? To his left was the road
back down to the quaint little town in which he lived. To the right
was the road out to the big City. In front of him was the large
forest in which he used to play as a child. He remembered the past as
a carefree time and decided his childhood playground was the best
sanctuary for his malcontent heart and mind. Without word to his
brother or Riku, Roxas made his way down the gradual incline to the
edge of the forest. He hesitated a few moments thinking carefully
about his actions before climbing the ancient gate. He remembered
that he had been forbidden from playing in the wood as a child
because of wolves. Livestock had been killed in the fields by wolves
that lived in the wood, so the adults said. After that he had never
been allowed to play past the field, and he had loved the lush
greenery of the forest so much. Under the thick canopy his
imagination could run wild and his heart felt free. He shook it from
his mind, wolves? That was probably just his parents trying to scare
him. He shrugged his shoulders and climbed into the cool silent shade
of the wise old trees.
The old pathway was overgrown and looked as
though it had been left unused since he himself had played there. It
was the perfect place to escape just for a little while, but he found
no peace from himself. His mind wandered once more and his mind grew
clouded by darkness. He could so easily lie down in the undergrowth
and stay there for an eternity and no one would miss him. He could
disappear forever and… His eyes stung with tears, he was so young
yet his heart felt so heavy. Could he truly be serious about just
ending it all when he had hardly lived at all? Sinking to the floor
he backed against a tree and pulled his knees into his chest and
allowed himself to cry. He felt so selfish so entirely pathetic, it
was Sora's happiness that made him feel this way and he hated
himself for it.
After what had been a long while wiped his eyes
and rested his head on his knees, he needed to get a hold of himself;
this was just hormone induced angst. Sora was probably worried about
him, it was probably time he went back to his friends and forgot
about hisself-induced depression. It was as he finally made the
decision to get up that somewhere behind him he heard twigs cracking.
He held his breath in fear, a wolf? He slowly rose to his feet
listening for the sounds of growling, he needed to identify the exact
direction from which the sound came. He had ventured so deep into the
wood did he even know the way out? More twigs snapped and birds from
the tree above him scattered, startled he set off at a run terrified
for his life. He was completely unawares he was going in entirely the
wrong direction, he just ran as fast as he could never looking back.
Roxas was in such frenzy he wasn't even sure if he was being chased
at all. Then suddenly he tripped hitting the ground with a painful
thud. He cried out for help bracing then for the end to come. He
expected to feel sharp teeth sinking into his flesh at any moment but
no such sensation came.
There was a horrible silence and a nerve
wracking pause when he finally felt something touch him. Someone took
his arm in a firm grasp and he cried out again beginning to struggle.
It was worse than a wolf it was a murderer or a criminal! He squeezed
his eyes shut beginning to kick and flail trying to get away but the
stranger was so strong. He quickly tired and slowly he was
overpowered but the figure didn't hurt him they just pulled him
close, holding him in a tender embrace.
"Roxas it's okay your
safe." The blonde's face was still streaked with tears and now
blood trickled down his cheek from a clean cut where he had fallen.
He tightened his grip on his saviour's arms clutching the fabric of
his clothes tightly. "I didn't expect you to run you know."
Roxas just panted trying to catch his breath unable to reply. "I
heard you talking to yourself after I saw you come into to the wood;
I thought nothing of it until I heard you crying."
Pushing away
Roxas got to his feet and put on a front, as he set his eyes on his
'rescuer' he hid his surprise. It was one of the older boys from
his school and one of Roxas' oldest friends, Axel.
"I wasn't
crying." He said firmly. "Why were you following me anyway?"
The
red head gave an amused smile and got to his feet also.
"If
that's your attitude then you will always be alone Roxas…"Axel
paused fearing he had sounded too cold. "You don't have to be
alone if you don't want to be."
"What's that supposed to
mean?" The blond replied with a slight snap.
"Why do you have
to be so cold with me? It's alright to feel a little vulnerable…
We're friends aren't we Roxas?" The blond nodded, he felt a
little ashamed for being so harsh to Axel, truth be told he was just
embarrassed to have been caught crying. Axel took a step towards the
younger boy and put his hand out. "You said no one would care if
you were gone a little while ago… Truth is… I'd care…" He
paused. "Let me be there for you Roxas, because you make me feel…"
Axel looked down for a moment struggling for the right words.
Roxas
smiled and even started to laugh as Axel lost the thread of what he
was trying to say. He put his hand into Axel's and smiled. Whenever
he was in trouble the red head had always been there for him, he was
always there to help him think things through. Help him back up when
he fell down. Axel had been there all this time right before his eyes
but he had never really seen. Roxas had been so blinded by his own
self pity.
"You've always loved me haven't you Axel?"
"And
I always will…"
Roxas closed his eyes as the taller man tilted
his head up to claim a soft and gentle kiss. It was short yet sweet
and the embrace that followed was all that Roxas had longed for. He
leant his head against Axel and let himself feel safe, secure and for
the first time in a long while, he felt blissful and at last content.
