Disclaimer: I don't own Attack On Titan
Sasha P.O.V.
I stood in the middle of the kitchen, my stomach growling audibly. I starred at the cabinets adorning the walls around me. The last thing I wanted to do right now was eat but my body apparently had other ideas. I hate the thought of food, I hate herself for consuming so much of it but I hate the feeling of an empty stomach even more.
I just can't handle the feeling of it twisting and eating itself. I slowly moved towards the closest cabinet and pulled out a box of crackers. The packaging crinkled as I pulled it open. The salty smell hit me instantly and I felt repulsed. I dropped the crackers to the counter before sliding down to the floor. I pulled my knees up to my face and let the tears fall.
Why can't I just be normal like everyone else? Why do I have to starve myself until it feels like my stomach is collapsing on itself? It always seems like when they see me it's the time I give into my hunger and eat so fast it hurts. Why do they have to associate me and food all the time.
My sobs become louder as more thoughts swirl through my mind. I furiously swipe at the trails of liquid streaming down my face. I faintly hear footsteps in the dining room but I just can't stop crying right now. I have to be brave all the time so I just need one time to be myself. My stupid broken unstable self.
"Potato girl?" I hear a voice ask from the doorway. I let out a whimper at the name. I just can't get away from food, even my nickname involves it.
"Oh my god, Sasha what's wrong?" I look up to see Connie worriedly starring at me from the doorway.
"I can't do it anymore." I whisper.
"Is this about the Titans?" He asks while siting on the ground next to me.
"No, why can't everyone just understand. I don't want to but I can't help it. I have to in order to stop the pain. They don't understand that it hurts even more emotionally though."
He cautiously wraps an arm around my shoulder. His hand comes up to brush my bangs out of my face. Concern is etched into his features.
"What's this about?"
"Food Connie, food." I shout at him. If he wasn't completely worried before he is now.
"What do you mean? You love food, your the only one I know who risks being caught out past curfew to sneak into the kitchen." His hand rubs circles on my back lightly.
"But I don't. It's slowly destroying me, I sneak out because I can't deal with the pain of not eating. I eat at meals so no one becomes concerned, we have bigger problems than that right now. Every time I eat all I want to do is be sick. I hate it, it makes everyone look at me like I'm fat. Their judgement hurts. Food is just a disease in disguise.
"Sasha you should have just told us. I know there are titans out there and great people like Marco are dying but you need us. This isn't good for you." He pulls me close to him hugging me tightly.
"I can't help it. It's so hard to deal with by myself."
"Well then you don't i'll help you. I will make sure you eat periodically through out the day. That way it's not a lot of food at once that will make you feel bad but you also won't have the stomachaches of not eating."
Since when did he become so considerate. He always used to refer to me as potato girl and he hurt me emotionally. Yet now he is helping me through all of this. Everything I have been going through since I was a child. Everything that people always neglected to help me with.
"Thanks." I whisper as he places a gentle kiss on my forehead.
We sit in silence for a few minutes before my stomach lets out another growl. He removes his arms from around me and stands to grab the crackers I had dropped earlier. He carefully places two in my hand.
"Eat this, it's not much so it shouldn't make you feel bad but it will help." I slowly bite the edge of the cracker. Five minutes later I have finally finished both crackers.
"I've never seen you eat this slow before, but it's a good thing. The faster you eat the worse you will feel."
"I know, I always felt like I needed to really sell it for you all to think I was fine. It pained me to have to shove so much in my mouth at such a fast pace." I tell him, looking deep into his eyes.
"Remember I'm always here for you no matter what. You don't have to do this alone."
It feels nice having someone on my side for once. I know no one means harm by their comments but it makes me happy to finally have someone that understands. He wants to help, he wants to make sure I feel better.
"Thank you Connie." I rest my head on his shoulder and think of how everything is going to be so much different now.
"Do I still get to call you potato girl?"
"I don't usually like being referred to as that but with you it doesn't hurt." The emotion that flashes through his eyes is unmistakable.
He slowly leans down towards me and places a soft kiss on my lips. He pulls away and I smile at him in reassurance. His arm snakes it way around my waste pulling me closer to him. I rest my head on his shoulder basking in the moment.
"So does this make you my potato girl?" He asks smirking slightly
"I like the sound of that." I say. A small yawn escapes my lips and I close my eyes relishing in the warmth of Connie next to me. Before I know it I'm slowly drifting off to sleep on the kitchen floor with a wonderful guy next to me.
Well that was my take on Sasha and food. It got kinda deep didn't it. Well I absolutely love this ship and there isn't enough of these stories so hopefully I can add more. Also all of you should check out my account Musically(I get that it should be .ly but it deletes it if i have it that way.), it's under wild_heart1501.
Hugs and Kisses
WildHeartsR5