I own nothing.

Okay, so I don't know whether or not to make ihis into a chapter story or leave it as is. This is the one instance where it's really up to you, the reader.

Everybody was broke, couldn't be fixed. 'Acourse, Mal figured that was the way of it when you went through something like they had. They'd finally won the war, but the cost was bit steep. Things was different, a little too quiet. Mal liked the quiet most days, but even that kind of quiet was suffocatin' and unsettlin'. They fixed Serenity, taking care to do their best work, but things were still off. The quiet refused to dissipate, turning into a deafening silence that no one could shake. No matter how much they tried to cover it with words and laughter, it was always there. Once the chatter died down, the quiet would settle in and take over and drain whatever warm fuzzies they'd managed to drudge up and smother them to death. There weren't no hope of ever gettin' past it.

It wasn't until they were a week's time away from Persephone that Jayne cornered Mal near the infirmary. Mal had seen it comin', but he'd been hopin' it wouldn't happen.

"Think it's time I moved on, Mal," Jayne had explained with what was supposed to have been a nonchalant shrug, but the weariness of it spoke otherwise. "This whole set up..." Jayne shook his head in an almost sad manner. "Ain't fer me, ya know?"

Mal nodded, his throat feelin' dry, raw. "Always thought maybe when you left it'd be fer a better payin' job."

"Me too," Jayne said quietly, "but ain't nothin' in life ever turned out the way we 'xpected it."

"No, s'pose not."

Maybe it was the idea that Jayne was leavin' without turnin' on him that hurt him so, made him so vulnerable, but when River looked up at him with sad, regretful eyes, and he knew he was really gonna need a new pilot, Mal felt close to tears.

"I need to be on my own," she stuttered out, trying hard not to let Mal's hurt look weaken her resolve. "I know you know I'm not a child, but I need to know it. I'll know it better when I stop endangering everybody and when..."

"S'okay, River, but what about Simon?"

She smiled fondly then. "He has Kaylee now. You could say he finally realized he was an adult. Besides, he knows now."

Mal smiled ruefully. "He has grown up quite nicely."

They smiled fondly at one another. "You're a good Captain, good father, too."

Mal cleared his throat and looked away. "Yeah, well, I do what's best, ya know, for the crew...everybody."

River nodded in understanding and Mal patted her shoulder.

Jayne and River waited until everyone was sleeping to leave, Mal standing on the catwalks above them. Jayne nodded to Mal and River tried to smile at him, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. Jayne grinned down at her. "How'd you know I was leavin'?"

"Didn't," she said, barely above a whisper, "I'm leaving, too."

Jayne raised an eyebrow, surprised, but nodded his understanding. "Well."

He stuck out his hand to her and she rolled her eyes before standing on tiptoe to wrap her arms around his neck. Jayne tensed and River hugged him tighter. "Doesn't seem right to not hug you. You were family. You are family."

Jayne hesitated before he hugged her back. "Yeah, guess yer right."

"I promise not to shoot at you if we ever cross paths," she joked as they pulled apart and Jayne snorted in amusement. "Guess I could promise the same."

Mal had to look away for a moment. Trust them two to put away their differences the minute they wasn't gonna have to be 'round each other no more. They gathered up their belongings and nodded goodbye in unison at Mal one last time before heading off ship. Mal watched them disappear into the dark before closing up the bay and heading back to the bridge. The ship felt even more empty than before and Mal swallowed past the niggling feeling that River had created in him before he finally gave up and admitted she was right. They were family.

"You know, the whole point of my leaving was to be out on my own."

"I know, but ya shouldn't be out here at night all by yer lonesome. Get too many on ya, ain't gonna be able ta get out of it."

River nodded. Even she could be outnumbered. "Well, maybe we should find some place to sleep for the night then. Or we could start looking for work now-"

"We ain't stayin' together. Din't leave ta hang 'round you, neither." River rolled her eyes at him and followed him as he turned and headed for the nearest bar. He tossed a couple credits down on the bar and began talking to the barkeep about getting two rooms and River swept the bar with her eyes. The atmosphere was hazy with smoke and alive with raucious laughter from the colorful patrons that staggered about drunkenly.

"Want a drink?" Jayne asked. She shrugged. "As long as it doesn't taste too terrible."

Jayne grunted in response and River watched in fascination as the men at a not too faraway table tried desperately to form coherent sentences while attempting to identify both she and Jayne, who they believed looked very familiar. Jayne handed her a large mug full of beer and a room key, frowning. "Only had one room, but luckily it had two single beds."

River and Jayne downed their drinks quickly, the former making a particularly sour face before they headed up to the room. River turned back to look at the table and noticed an overly large man with an overly scruffy beard. The word "sasquatch" popped into her mind and she frowned, shaking her head. She unlocked the door and pushed it open. The room was small and dingy just like the bar downstairs. However, it smelled clean and that was enough for her. She tossed her stuff down just inside the door and moved into the room. They turned their backs to one another, Jayne waiting for River to slip into her nightgown before they got into their separate beds. The beds groaned and the springs squeaked as both squirmed around in the beds for a good while trying to find a comfortable position on the lumpy mattresses.

"Why is it, that even though this is a fairly prosperous planet, everything on it is cheap?"

"Beats me," Jayne groaned happily when he found a sweet spot on the mattress and sank down into it. "Kinda always wondered it myself."

River hummed in response and Jayne snorted before he too fell asleep.

It was with stiff necks and sore joints when the pair woke just before the crack of dawn and stumbled into the bar, both yawning. Jayne cracked his neck and River rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

"You pay since I paid fer the room an' drinks."

River nodded and ordered them some breakfast, a triple order for Jayne. They settled down in a back booth. Jayne sprawled out on the side opposite River and scowled at the patrons. "Ain't a one person in this place don't look more than a little lowdown, dirty an' mighty deceivin'. No way we're gonna find even half decent work. Goodbye, ten percent."

"At least you got ten percent," River muttered into her coffee. "All I got was seven."

"Seven? Why only seven?"

"Because I was crazy most of the time and also because I was considered to be too young to be earning my own wages."

Jayne made a face. River grinned lopsidedly at his expression and he grinned in response. They fell into an awkward silence and Jayne drummed his fingers on the table, looking everywhere he could to avoid looking back at her. River stared down at her empty plate. "Do you think we'll be happy?"

"Huh?" Jayne asked, startled. River shrugged. "We've been on Serenity for so long and it just seems strange that we'll no longer be with them anymore."

Jayne nodded and grinned jauntily in afterthought. "S'long as we got coin, our own bunks, an' we don't get killed, I think we'll be happy."

River nodded. He was right. It was all that really mattered now that she had left. She bit her lip and fidgeted. "Are you going to write to them?"

Jayne's eyebrows shot up and his brow furrowed in consideration. He hadn't thought about that. "Are you?"

River looked down and away. "I haven't decided. If I write, Simon may come looking for me."

"You gonna be okay on yer own? I mean, I know you can handle yerself an' all, but gonna be a lot harder fer you then me 'cause you ain't intimidating."

River shrugged. "I don't know. I just need to be on my own. I need to be able to make my own choices and take care of myself." She smiled softly to herself. "It will be nice not having to worry about the others."

Jayne nodded in silent agreement. There was another long, awkward silence before Jayne finally spoke. "You're alright, River. Think you'll do jus' fine."

Simon wasn't sure how he felt. He wasn't sure if he should be feeling so relieved, if he should be more worried than he actually was. He had always known that he and River would separated once more, but he had always thought he would be more upset. It wasn't just because of his relationship with Kaylee; no. It was something more. It hadn't even been the constant medical attention River had once required that had been more than physically and emotionally draining. No, it was that he now had the ability to think selfishly for once. It was no longer about River or about Kaylee. He could finally focus on one thing at a time and not the myriad of problems that came along with every single everyday occurrence. He could focus on Kaylee without feeling he was neglecting River or himself. He could focus on bettering himself the way he knew River was. It was why she had left. He cared so much and so little. He needed to find the medium and that was why he was relieved. It was why he was so worried. Once you found that medium, there was really nothing left to do.

Kaylee understood why River and Jayne left. She would have if it hadn't been for her love of Serenity. Things were just too crowded and there were too many questions, but the whirring of the engine tended to drown it out and made it okay. River had often said she was an extension of the engine. It was why Kaylee was always so happy. She was always working on herself, making herself into something better, something pure, something true. Kaylee understood that River and Jayne needed to be fixed, that they weren't completely broken. They were just missing some parts that needed to be found and welded back together. Kaylee knew that she an Mal were the least broken of them all. So long as Serenity ran, the two of them would never need much fixing and so, she went about her job as she had everyday because it was what she wanted and it was what Serenity wanted,

Mal still had his battle scars. They just weren't visible. He had fought to protect freedom. Freedom was the reason River and Jayne left and he was proud of them for it. River needed to be on her own, be her own person. Jayne needed to be able to do what he did without conscience and Serenity had kept him from doing so. Serenity wasn't Jayne or River's freedom. She was his. While he loved Inara, he was in love with Serenity and that meant more. While Inara was a dove, Serenity was an eagle; big and proud, strong and loyal. Serenity was all he needed to make him a better man and he knew it. It was enough.

Zoe wouldn't become a better woman if it weren't for her man's dinosaurs. Wash had been what made her good; he was what made everyone good. With him gone, Zoe had felt lost. She was still bitter, still angry at Mal for getting her and her man into this. Still, whenever she was on the bridge, she could look at those dinosaurs and they would ground her. They helped her remember the small things that were now so momentous, so precious, and so missed. Serenity may have been Mal's ship, but the bridge was Wash's. It was common knowledge on the ship whose domain it was. It would always remain that way. Zoe didn't cry in her mourning, she laughed. She laughed when she recalled Wash having told her he wanted everyone dressed in costumes at his funeral. He'd even specifically requested that Jayne where a bear costume and play the mandolin. Simon was to be dressed as a rabbit and play the tambourine. Zoe wished she could remember the rest, but she hadn't really heard him at the time because she had laughed so hard. The dinosaurs were her reminder.

They left for the freedom, but they left for something else, something undefinable. Just a feeling. While River was just beginning to feel it, Jayne had always felt it. It'd just gotten more oppressive as time went on. That was why he left Serenity. When you got to be his age, about ready to fall face first into forty in a few years time, and you still had that little voice hovering in the back of your head telling you there was something more when you had seen and done everything-admittedly had everything you should want-it was time to scramble to find it. At first he had chalked it up to having itchy feet and needing a change of scene, but he'd felt that way since coming aboard Serenity. Every time, he thought it was gone, that he'd solved everything, the voice would pop up and whisper in his ear about how much time he was wasting how young he wasn't getting. That voice, that something more, was the reason he needed to regain his freedom. If there was something out there waiting for him, it was the only way he was going to find it.

River had been Simon's little, crazy mei-mei for so long, she couldn't remember when she had stopped defining herself as River Tam and began defining herself as Simon's mei-mei. Then she had become the mei-mei, the little girl lost and things had become stunted. Kaylee was the girlie girl, Zoe the warrior woman-Valkyrie, Inara the vixen. What was she? A mei-mei. Kaylee was a mei-mei, but she wasn't called such every time she was mentioned as River was. It took watching the men of the crew around the other women for her to realize she had become something inanimate almost. It wasn't their fault, she had let them categorize her as such on accident. When their thoughts had melded with hers, she had thought them all to be hers. Mal made her into his daughter-another little girl lost. Always a little girl, but never a girl, never a woman. Then she was an assassin, a killer. Inanimate once more. If anyone was going to turn her back into a girl, a woman, it would be her. She needed to not be restricted, classified. She did her best problem-solving on her own after all.

Inara was hurt. They had been so changed when she had returned. They were united, as a family and she was merely there on invite. It didn't matter that she had come back to them, Jayne had left. River had left. And no one seemed to find anything wrong with that. "Doing what they had to do," was what everyone excluding herself had deemed it. Nobody was in need of finding themselves. Why would anyone run away from family? Inara would have killed for one of her own. But she had no real purpose on Serenity. Every time something had broken, she couldn't fix it. Every time someone was hurt, she couldn't heal them. Every time they veered off course, she couldn't steer them. Every time someone needed to be saved, she could only pray they were. Every time someone needed guidance, she couldn't give it. Because she was in need of it all.

A/N: Okay, so this really has nothing to do with the affects of Miranda on the crew, per se, but with each individuals growth as a whole. Also, whether or not I continue this, is really up to you, the reader. Please review with a yay or nay.