Death wasn't anything new to him. He'd seen it all, over and over, countless times. From his first memory, the moment he crawled forth from the cutting desert winds, the specter of death had always followed him. He could still recall so clearly, the pain of his stomach trying to digest itself in desperation, the horrible thirst that savaged his bone-dry mouth. And the dust. The dust that clawed into his eyes and left him blind, like a lost, wounded animal. He was only a child, then, but already he had seen it with his own eyes, stood on the threshold with what seemed like no possibility of returning.
From there, it became routine. Simply another price of the life he and his team mates led. Outside the law, there own hierarchy formed, and it was kill or be killed. So many times had his coat been doused in blood, the stains at the tips were forever etched into the seams.
He wouldn't say he had no regard at all, but by now he could face the concept with utmost casualty. It was no longer a fear that dominated his mind, but an inevitability he had come to know.
So of course, when warned about the danger of the journey he was undertaking, he thought nothing of it. He was aware, painfully so, but saw no reason to dwell for any longer than he usually had. Why would he? He had nothing to lose.
At least, that's what he made himself believe.
He wasn't sure what happened. The battle was going well, brilliantly, even. They were far and away ahead, and the shadow appeared to be ready for capture. Then something went wrong. What, he wasn't sure. All he could remember was his world melting into a blur around him, a sudden pain, and hitting the ground with such force he could scarcely breathe. He tried, gasped for every precious breath of air, only for it to stay trapped in his throat, a wall impeding its path. It felt as if he was drowning in water that wasn't there.
And the screaming, the muffled, distorted scream he could barely discern, but knew instinctively as Rui's. He was supposed to be her knight, to protect her. Yet here he was, lying helpless on the arena floor, breathless and stunned from pain.
She tried to shake him back to his feet, swiftly grabbing his shoulders and holding as if his very body would disappear beneath her grasp. Only now could he clearly see the tears in her eyes, the grotesque curl of her lips as she shouted for him to move. With time, the sight of her began to blur and fade, but held fast in his mind.
Would this be the last he remembered of her? Hunched over, her beautiful face contorted to something so visceral, over him? He couldn't fathom why. No one had ever cried for him. No matter how close he came to that familiar border, no one noticed. No one but Rui.
It couldn't happen like this.
He tried, pools all of what little strength remains in him into his abdomen, pulling himself up weakly into the girl's arms. The fur around her sleeves was damp and matted, and much more dulled than he remembered. It took a while for the metallic scent to find its way to him, and for him to realize its source. It certainly explained why he felt so cold.
To his disappointment, his efforts only made her cry more.
"Hey...hey. Stop that."
Every word from his mouth was a force of will, and brought with it a welling of blood, and the realization that something was broken inside. For a moment, he was unable to buy his own bluff. Not the bluff that he would be alright, he never held any illusions to that. But that he would be spared any ounce of dignity, or Rui any pain.
No. He was in the middle of Cipher's territory, beaten beyond help, waiting for his own insides to crush him slowly. That was the fate he had been handed.
But why Rui? She had done nothing. Nothing but try to help the residents of a region that badly needed it.
"You're alright. You're gonna be alright. Just get out of here."
She screamed at him again. In her tears, her words were unintelligible, so he just assumed she was doubting him.
"No. You'll be fine. Umbreon and Espeon will take care of you..."
It was getting ever more difficult for him to speak, between the exhaustion and the blood that seemed to never stop. At least the pain was beginning to numb, his body long since haven given up on reporting it.
She buried herself in his chest, inconsolable. Nothing he could say could make it better, no lie could dull the heartache. All as well, since he had no strength to offer more lies, anyway. Instead, he let himself fall limp, like a doll in her arms, graciously absorbing all of her affection, all of her pain, all of her yearning.
His fluttering eyes had all but closed, and whatever warmth he had held before now lies on the ground beneath him. He could barely hear Rui's sobs, scarcely feel her hands gripping him tightly. But she was there. He knew she was. That, in itself, was a comfort he thought he would never be afforded.
So, for the first time, beneath her notice, he smiled as his senses left him.