The Switch-Up
By:AyameMisa
Disclaimer:I don't own Naruto. As much as I want to T.T
Hello people! Well, here is the first chapter/prologue-thingy of my first fanfic. Like OMG! I hope you guys give it a try, and be sure to review! I'm not totally sure where this story is going, but I'll mold it around! Lots of reviewsLots of updates! (I hope it goes well ; ) Enjoy
It was a nice, peaceful day in Konoha. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, nose-bleeding Ero-Sennins were peeking into an onsen-
"AND STAY OUT, YOU BASTARD!" yelled an enraged Tsunade, kicking Jiraiya to kingdom come. Or into Ino's flower shop, where the said flower shop owner's kunoichi promptly picked up the bleeding mess of a pervert and hauled him out into the streets.
Jiraiya sighed. Yet again he had been misunderstood.
He couldn't help his profession; simply training Naruto didn't pay the bills. And the Icha Icha Paradise fans were expecting more.
Jiraiya wasn't doing this for his own selfish pleasures, of course not. He had fans to please, an image to uphold, books to write, research to do. Did people think that it was enjoyable, actually pleasurable, to peek into a female indoor bath onto the soft curves, the bathing women, chatting, touching-well okay, it wasn't too bad.
But the pain he had to endure when being kicked out of the premises, the backache at having to bend to peek into a nook-and-cranny of a hole, the eye strain of getting only a square inch of viewing space; he wasn't doing this for himself!
It was a notable sacrifice Jiraiya was making for the happiness of his fans!
But even then, he needed a new approach. He had tried to use Naruto's Sexy-no-Jutsu once, to blend in with the ladies. What a mess that had been. Did you know that prolonged periods in an onsen cause chakra depletion? Neither did Jiraiya, nor the girl that had turned around for a second to get her towel, only to notice that in place of 'Molly' there was 50-year-old pervert in the onsen.
Damn those females. Can they not understand the nobility of my work? (I mean, sure I write an Adult novel, but come on people, it's a best-seller!)
Walking along the green fields of Konoha's grasslands, Jiraiya heard the familiar sound of the clink of metal, most likely kunais. Training. The youth of Konoha was working hard, strengthening it's abilities to protect the country.
Slumping against a tree, Jiraiya gazed on a boy with long, flowing hair engaging in a battle with a teammate.
"Byakuugan!" yelled the boy, veins forming near his eyes, which had gone a pale violet-marble color.
Byakuugan…So he's a Hyuuga…
Suddenly, a few of Jiraiya's brain cells clicked into place, and a thought was born.
Of course! The ability of the Hyuuga's bloodline limit, which consists of an all-white eye, enables the user to see 360º, and through solid matter! Solid matter such as the onsen bath! And clothes…
But how to get this ability?
Orochimaru was quite a weirdo, and a psychotic Michael-Jackson-look-a-like-with-kinky-snake-fetishes, too. But he wasn't like that back in the old days. The old, old days when Jiraiya wasn't a pervert (yes, it was THAT long ago) and Tsunade was still flat-chested.
Jiraiya and Orochimaru were best friends, and the best of teammates. Along with Tsunade, they were unstoppable. And during the time that Orochimaru began getting ideas to harness all the power in the world, he had been inventive.
Amongst his power gaining ideas was an ability harnesser, which he had been trying to develop in order to gain certain Kekkai Genkais (bloodline limits), such as Sharingan. Orochimaru had never finished the said idea, it was still in the early stages of development. It's major problem was that whilst he was able to gain an ability, he also had to give one up. It was a switch up, so to speak.
And what better way to test drive this experiment than to use it on your teammates? None, of course!
And so, Orochimaru had snuck the bottle of ability-switching liquid to Jiraiya, promising him 'I was able to sneak some sake away from Sarutobi-sensei! Go on, take it! You've been a great friend, you deserve this!'
Maybe Jiraiya should have sensed something was wrong; Orochimaru didn't confess his feelings of friendship while grinning ear to ear very often. But after all, it was about time his snake-loving friend acknowledged the utter coolness that was Jiraiya, so he accepted the sake bottle with open arms.
…And completely forgot about it. It wasn't until years later Jiraiya had accidently given some of that sake to one of his toads, only to find out it could use taijutsu after it saw Gai passing down the street. And as for Gai…well, let's say he felt the full effects of ribbiting, hopping youth.
After searching through his dusty cabinets in his apartment, Jiraiya unearthed a many decades old sake bottle, filled generously with Orochimaru's switching potion. But after years of rotting away in the contours of Jiraiya's cabinet, who knew what had happened it? Not Jiraiya, and he certainly wasn't going to find out himself. So what better way to see if the potion was poisonous than to give it to his student?
Sneaking through the window of Naruto's apartment, Jiraiya hoped to Kami-sama that Naruto was a heavy sleeper, and wouldn't wake up to see a 300-pound shinobi with a ninja-mask climbing through his window.
BONK
"GOD-dammit! Stupid windows with their stupid window ledges with the stupid floor and-" trip, slip, fall "-OWW, stupid Gamabunta wallet lying in the middle of the floor (ooh, is there any money in there) and-" Was that just underwear I stepped on?
Naruto let out a heavy snore, shifting in his blankets, kicking Jiraiya in the shins as he was trying to free his foot from the underwear. "Dammit, brat…" grit out Jiraiya.
Limping to Naruto's bag of ninja accessories, Jiraiya managed to dig out a canteen of water. Pulling out his sake bottle, he poured a bit of it into the canteen, hurriedly closing it as he heard another snore.
"What-What are you doing?"
Jiraiya froze. What should he do in this situation? STOP, DROP, AND ROLL!
Or run. Jiraiya chose the latter, throwing himself out of the window only to land in an ungraceful heap on the ground outside of Naruto's apartment. "Stupid…ground…" groaned Jiraiya, nursing the steadily growing bump that was growing larger by the minute.
After getting back to his apartment, Jiraiya patted himself on the back for accomplishing his goal. It wasn't until he had put away his mask did he notice that he was missing a certain bottle of sake.
"What-What are you doing?
"...Sakura-chan, not in public…" moaned Uzumaki Naruto in his sleep.
Hearing a loud thud, Naruto finally awoke from his deep slumber, only to notice the wind blowing through the curtains and his stuff sprawled out on the floor.
Well, it wasn't any news, his room was always messy. But after spotting a sake bottle lying next to his bag, he grinned in mirth. Hehehe, who needs a canteen of water when I have sake? And so, Naruto tossed the canteen into a pile of ninja scrolls lying a few feet away from his bed, and stuffed the sake bottle into his bag.
Closing the window, Naruto jumped back into his bed, imagining Sasuke's expression when he'd see the sake bottle that Naruto had managed to get. But where did that sake bottle come from? Probably some wild orgy from last night, after which I had proceeded to get drunk and party until my few remaining brain cells convulsed and died. Then Shikamaru had to bring me back into my apartment, tuck me into the blankets, and leave a complementary sake bottle.
What? It happens.
Hope you liked the first installment! Next chapter, you'll see some more of Naruto...and Sasuke (whoa!) Read and review! And tell me if there's any mistakes, 'kay?