Tenshi: Why yes... this is a SHOUJO-AI fic meaning GIRL/GIRL so if I recive any flames about this shit, I'll leave a little nice note for your little asses.

Mutsumi: Oh my... no wonder this is rated R...

Tenshi: -Shrugs- Lemons will be in the future chapter...

Kanako: Hey... what sick idea made you write this? I like the plot but I hate the pairings...

Motoko: -smirks- You don't have to denai it Kana-chan...

Tenshi: -sweat-drops- Perverted Motoko... will be in future chapters...

Disclaimer: Do I look like I own them?

Spelling and Grammar: -Ahem- Okay... let me get this through your f!king thick skulls, I don't have one of those wha-cha ma call its and ummm... I don't like sending my stories on e-mail so some bastard can proff-read it. If you can't bare my grammar, either you get the f!k out or just live with it.


Chapter One... "I can't Let Go."

March 1, 2005

As I watched her walk away, I began to close my eyes tightly. I didn't want her to walk away… I really didn't. Her smile, tears, scent, body and taste still remains deep within me. I truly didn't want this to be over. Memories make me laugh at the good times and the bad. Tears make me drown my sorrow over the past. And her… she… made me realized that the love we shared was not just a simple relationship. It was definitely true love, but whom I'm I to say that? Aren't I the one that was left behind? Didn't she leave me behind? How is that true love? How do I know these things? I can tell you these answers but once I do, it would only lead through questions… like the night that practically started it all.

This is my story…

November 25, 2004

It was the day of where two lovers will soon be committed to be together forever. Obviously, it was the day at the Hinata Inn, where my brother and that stupid ditz were getting married. Of course I loved him, more than just a sibling, more than just a very close friend… just way more than that. Why did he chose her when all she does is yell out pervert and send her furious punches to him out to Leo?

I began to shake my head, Oni-chan always did the strangest things that I find most disturbing and that was marrying Naru Narusagawa. It's really wonderful that he found his most beloved but what about me? Why am I being left behind… again? First… I was a child at an Orphanage because a mother didn't want me than someone I love most gets married to someone I most hate. I'm alone all over again...

"So… this is the day?"

The voice sounded anxious and disappointed at the same time. Like how I was thinking; although thoughts soon came to a stop when I turned the familiar tone. My eyes only tighten, bringing forth the hatred of my past.

"Yeah… I know," I whispered to the most famous Motoko Aoyama. An expert at Kendo and a Todai Graduate along with the most gorgeous features that I always wanted to gain. I envy her.

Motoko dusted her dress, obviously one of Haruka's clothing and tried to tug a weak smile, "all of us wanted him."

My head turned away, reluctantly able to agree, but nodded at her so true fact, "yeah… all of us should be happy for him." I tried to chuckle but only a soft sigh slipped through me, "and… even if one of us got married to him besides Naru… it would be the same group moping around with sad faces… there's no need into getting disappointed."

"Kanako-chan…,'' whispered Motoko.

I gazed into her eyes. Deep inside those eyes I saw deep sorrow blended with pity. It disgusted me. She almost had those same eyes as that bitch. Why was I suddenly getting so angry? My mind dodged that question and made my body react angrily.

"I don't need your pity, kendo-girl, for all I know, that whore better treat him right or she's really going to get it, so don't go all boo-hoo, I don't need that carpy drama!"

I shoved Motoko away with my arm slowly guiding her to the wall she almost slammed on. Yes, I felt guilty for doing it but I didn't care at the same time. Keitaro Urashima could have been mines… and if I came to the Hinata Inn the first day he arrived than I would have…

"No…," I whispered trying to hold back my tears, "it wasn't meant to be anyways."

My eyes snapped opened to see that I was in a room… surprisingly; I was in Oni-chan's room. My head slowly tilted with confusion but my legs forced me to search his area. My head turned to his desk. It was that very same desk he would seem to be slouching on every time he failed his quizzes… even his entrance exams. My face inched closer to scan that very same desk he would work on every single night; it seemed to have those markings he left behind.

"Don't give up Keitaro! Don't panic!"

"… oh kami… I give up…"

"Noooo… Narusagawa hates me!"

"Third year ronin… T-T"

Kanako sweat-dropped at the more-so mature markings Keitaro wrote on his desk. It involved frustration in math, but strangely it made her laugh. Becoming a third-year ronin must have been a lot of pressure and more-so embarrassing.

I heard a gentle slide from the door and turned around ready to tear off the intruder's head for scaring the hell out of me; unfortunately it was her… but it could have been worst… at least it wasn't the whore.

"Don't scare me like that you bitch," I hissed with my foul language beginning to increase.

Motoko winced at my piercing insult but it subsided only in a matter of seconds, "the ceremony is about to start soon… I only wanted to warn you."

"Wanting to warn me that Oni-chan's going to leave me?" I whispered. I knew I was going to cry but not in front of kendo girl, no, not in front of her.

I could hear Motoko sigh, but it was not an irritated sigh, a more-so concerning yet understandable sigh.

I could still feel the tears streaming down my cheeks, hot on the face and painful through the cheast. I knew I was going to break-down… but not now!

"Kanako-chan…," whispered Motoko softly as she could.

Her arms soon wrapped around my neck and I was suddenly drowned by her warmth. Thoughts screamed at me for laying my head on her cheast but I felt so much pain… my love for him will never fade… because… he was my first love.

"I know it hurts… I know it does… but sometimes… you just have to let go," her voice seemed to emotional and unstable. It was not normal. Not at all.

It shocked me to find her arms wrapped around me like that. It felt so welcoming and soft at the same time. My head soon sank deeply in her breasts… and my pain soon sub-sided after minutes of endless tears… then… my head tilted up towards her and our eyes met… sinking deeply into each other pools of pain and sorrow.

Suddenly, her lips were placed together softly and it met with my forehead lightly. Just like Oni-chan would do every-time he would see me hurt like this. Reality hits hard when you realize that the great samurai, Motoko Aoyama kissed your forehead like a baby, but for some sort of reason… I enjoyed it…

And most of all… I felt safe in her arms… like Oni-chan...


Kanako: ...

Motoko: ...

Tenshi: You like it?

Kanako and Motoko: Were you depress when you wrote this or just plain high?

Tenshi: Mostly depress and a little high... why?

Motoko: ... ... ... you were listening to the "first love" song by Utada Hikaru in Piano version, weren't you?

Tenshi: -sniff- Ahhhh yess... and to the Let Me Go by 3 doors down... and Since U be Gone by Kelly Clarkson... and True by Ryan Caberra... Over by Lindsey Lohan...

Motoko: -sigh- damn... you must of been dumped after you got laid... lol... come on Kanako!

Kanako: Yay! Can I tie you up this time?

Tenshi: Hnnn... well sorry guys if I didn't put other characters in it, but I promise you... that I will in the next chapter, Kay? OOOO... before you go I want you to review! OR ELSE... Shinobu will hunt you down! Any suggestions are fine too!

Shinobu: O-o

Tenshi: ummm... yeah... looks Life-threatning... don't make Shinobu mad... grr...

Shinobu: O-o

Tenshi: ... -drags Shinobu away and sighs-

OUCH! NOT SO HARD KANAKO!

YEAH THAT'S IT! YOUR MY BITCH TONIGHT!

Tenshi soon has a major nosebleed...