Warning: BoyxBoy relationship! Just some kissing though. BrucexWally, BatFlash, you know the drill.
Summary: Because it's not about mum and dad anymore. Not completely.
Special Dedication: This is dedicated to GemiDonnie, for the Secret Santa for the BatFlash clan! I hope you enjoy it ^^
This Promise Means Everything.
Bruce wonders if Wally has any idea how beautiful he looks right now, as he holds his hands against the cold glass of the Watchtower's window, the lights of the monitors illuminating his face, the saddest of all smiles on his lips, green eyes sparkling with both immense awe and melancholy. He isn't wearing the cowl, never does when not in action, his red hair beautifully wild and unkempt. He focuses his attention back on the screen, checking if anything in the world is going wrong.
He feels a gush of wind, a warmth and the small of mango-scented shampoo. Makes a mental note to find out which exactly. He wonders about it, can picture a smiling Wally in a supermarket, picking up the first bottle he finds. Or perhaps he stands there for minutes, checking and rechecking and popping open all the lids to smell, then put back and take it again and smell again and –
And he cannot imagine a world where Wally isn't gushing past him. Where isn't a breeze that isn't anything like a breeze, where there isn't a man who can smile like a child, where there isn't anyone in the world who loves like Wally does.
Or perhaps it's more that he doesn't want to imagine it. Refuses to. Flat out denies the possibility. He mentally snorts at himself. Wasn't it exactly like him, to think of the worst outcomes for every scenario?
But he won't think about this. He won't let it happen. He won't turn out like he did. The Justice Lords. He won't, he'll never ever will let it get that far.
There's another breeze and Wally is sitting in the chair next to him, spinning it around as he goes, spins it some times more and he smells coffee and hears laughter and Wally rambles on about things that aren't even remotely interesting and hands him a cup and does it all in the same fluid motion.
And Bruce can't help but think how alive he is. How beautifully alive. He can't picture Wally being anything else. He won't let himself be able to imagine it.
He'll protect him. From everything. From everyone.
"This is soooooooooo dull," Wally whines and he tries not to smile.
"It's necessary."
Wally beams at him and laughs and then turns suddenly all of sudden and Bruce wonders what it's like, to be so open, to be so ready to have your heart smashed into a zillion of pieces, to be so honest and bright and alive. He doesn't say a word.
"So. Uhm. Some eventful week we had huh?" he starts the unavoidable conversation.
Bruce merely gives him this look. He remembers the look in the other Batman's eyes. The hitch in his voice. The desperation as he screamed 'Flash, Flash!'. The sorrow in his eyes. His words.
'It's not about mum and dad anymore.'
And he honestly didn't get what he had meant with that, because everything was about mum and dad.
Maybe he's starting to understand a little as Wally squirms, but stays in his seat stubbornly. He knows he's been talking to everyone. He knows he's been joking, laughing.
"I made the others promise me something, you know," Wally says and Bruce almost smiles, knowing that Wally realises that he won't be having a whole conversation about it. That he won't talk, that he won't be able to voice his concerns.
"What promise?" he asks. He doesn't want to know. Really doesn't.
"You have to promise me that if I die, you won't turn out that way," his voice is all seriousness now. Nothing light, nothing bright, but beautiful still. God, he's so beautiful. A beauty like grace.
Bruce stays silent for a while and thinks. Thinks about how easily lying would be. How easy it would be to close himself off from the whole world and say 'yes' and be done with it. But he remembers what it was like when his parents died, how he turned from a spoiled eight year old to Batman and he knows.
"I can't promise you that," he says.
Wally stares at him, his eyes full of hurt, shock, anguish, and even a little anger. How easy it is to read a man like him. How beautiful he is, even now.
"I'm not joking, Bruce. I mean it. Promise me." Stern now. Like talking to a child.
He feels his heart pound heavily against his ribcage and once more he shakes his head. He doesn't think Wally could ever understand. He knows he should be lying. Just say yes, just nod, just smile, just pretend the conversation is over.
But. It's not about mum and dad anymore.
And he understands that now. He knows why the other Batman said it now too. It was a warning, a prophecy. This fight, it wasn't about them anymore, not completely.
He wants Wally to know, to tell him that, to tell him how important he is, how he reminds him of what he's fighting for. For people like him, with easy smiles, and all-telling eyes. With a love for everyone.
"I'd be lying," and he sounds like a hypocrite saying it.
Wally is up, pacing through the room, a breeze that sweeps his cape from left to right, as if he's caught up in a hurricane. Then Wally grabs his shoulders and swirls around his chair. Looks him straight in the eye. One quick movement and his cowl is gone. He doesn't reprimanded him for it. Just stares back in green eyes.
"Bruce. They were wrong." How beautifully desperate he looks. Green eyes filled with sorrow. Bruce wants to hold him, hold him tight and explain. Cry maybe. Oh, if only he could. If only he ever could.
"I know," he answers instead.
"Then why?! WHY?!" he's screaming now, the grip on his shoulders strengthening.
Because if I lose you, I'm all alone. Because you remind me of what I'm fighting for. Because I can't handle loss. Because I cannot lose you. Because it's not about mum and dad anymore.
Because it's about you.
"Because," he replies.
"Okay," trying to compose himself, "that is the lamest answer I have ever gotten out of anyone. And geez, Bats, you just lost a lot of respect here. That's just childish."
"You wouldn't understand," he says and it's even worse, because now Wally's looking hurt all over again instead of enraged. "But I do. I can… see the reasoning behind it."
"Fuck you, Bruce," he says and it's both childish and shocking enough to make him pay attention. "They were wrong. They were evil bastards, fucking with our ideals. They took everything we loved and slandered it, raped it, mutilated it! They fucked up everything!"
"Because they lost you."
"And I'm telling you I don't want you to anything like that 'for' me! Please, Bruce, this isn't a stupid pinky-swear I'm asking. I mean this. This is serious. This is… important."
He stays silent, watching the young man tear himself apart in front of him. Sips of the coffee he got, if only to keep himself occupied. Wally has discarded his some time ago and now he's just staring, green eyes rimmed with the beginning of tears.
He could lie. It would easy. He could just tell him he was right, that he had him convinced now. But he knows this is important and he knows that he'll turn out exactly like that.
"The first time… I lost people I loved…" he starts his story, looking everywhere but those green, green eyes. "I became Batman." He can't help but snort, utter this short, hopeless kind of laughter. Wally tightens his grip even more, it's starting to hurt. He shakes his head, swallowing something like pain and tears. "The second time I do, Wally… I turn into that Batman. It's… logical."
"No," he says and it's so… so… honest he looks up to find Wally smiling. The saddest of all smiles, beautiful in its sorrow. "No."
He doesn't say a word to reply. Uttered everything he meant to convey. It's not much, he knows, it's nothing remotely like a love confession, but it's still the truth. It's about him now. About his smile, his green eyes, the way the monitors illuminate his face, shadows dancing upon it. It's about seeing his smile at the end of the day, it's about feeling him rush past.
He loves him and he can't lose him.
"You're wrong Bruce, all wrong," he smiles, laughs, but it's nothing like his desperate kind of laughter. "I wonder if you know yourself at all."
But he doesn't. He hasn't for a long time now. He doesn't even know why he's Batman anymore, not until he had a lunatic version of himself tell himself so. He had been fighting this battle for so long, he had forgotten why. Fighting endlessly, without knowing why. He had been miserable for so long, it had become a routine.
And then he met Wally. Then, heaven forbid, he fell in love. He wants to tell him that, but knows he never will. Instead he listens, instead he falls in love a little more each second.
Wally rests his hand upon his heart and Bruce wonders if he can feel how fast it beats.
"You're not Batman because of your sorrow, Bruce. You're Batman because of your love," he's smiling again and it's so beautiful he wants to cry and laugh and kiss him all at the same time. He doesn't do anything. "Because of the endless love you hold for Gotham, the people in it, for us, for the league, for everyone. Because you love your parents. Pain is temporary, Bruce, you wouldn't be fighting still. But love is forever."
He looks down and lays him hand upon his, always again surprised at how warm he is. He feels himself smiling softly. How he wishes that could be true. How badly he wants to be that person, the person Wally sees when he looks at him.
"You're the one who's wrong," he replies instead and it's a weak come back, he knows, but he's impressed he hasn't left at this point already.
"No. I'm not," and he's so convinced, so sure that Bruce wants to believe him. Wants to believe that he's a good person, a person fighting for love. How beautiful would've that been. "Now, promise me. Promise me you won't go absolutely loco when I'm gone."
"Wally…" he starts, but he doesn't end his sentence, instead just stands up and embraces him. Hold him tight, feeling his warmth through the Kevlar. Buries his head in his neck. Wally is caught of guard, he can tell that much, but hugs him back just as passionately, just as desperately.
For the first time in his life, he doesn't care if he's weak and then the words are gone like as sudden as a lightning bolt tears the sky apart: "it's not about mum and dad anymore, Wally. Not… completely."
It takes a little time before Wally seems to understand those words, truly understand and then he pushes Bruce away, holding him at an arm's length and once more he smiles.
"Bruce," his warm hand slid over his cheek and Bruce thinks it shouldn't sound so unbelievably reassuring to just have the redhead call out his name. But he knows the bitter taste of loss and he can taste it right now and as if reading his mind, Wally says: "you won't lose me."
"Eventually, I will." And along with it, any reason to fight. He doesn't say it.
"But if you do, I want you to recall the good things. To build a world in my image, you know? Feed the hungry and rescue cats out of trees? That kinda stuff? Not go all crazy and kill everyone?" it's the first he utters a joke again and Bruce can't help but laugh, slightly. It's not even that funny.
"I want to."
Wally shakes his head, still standing only inches away from him. In the back of his mind, he's both waiting and cursing the moment the monitor screens will beep behind them, a cry for help. And then he doesn't care anymore, because, fast as lightning, Wally has flung his arms around him and he's kissing him again and again and again until he's laughing and out of breath and Bruce just holds him, doesn't want to let go. Ever. Doesn't want to pull on a shiny costume and kill people. Turn the Joker into a social worker, make Poison Ivy cut off roses. He doesn't want the Scarecrow to be unable to wipe the drool of his own chin. He's not like that. Doesn't want to be.
"Then what's holding you back? If you want to, just promise. Set your mind to it. Focus." It's in between a joke and a serious request.
And then Bruce makes a decision.
"I promise I'll never let it get that far." It's not what Wally asked for, but the best he's going to get and he knows it.
Then Wally is kissing him again and laughing too.
"You're the most stubborn idiot I have ever met." But he doesn't mean it, not really.
Bruce smirks.
"Obviously, you never met yourself."
Wally throws a punch at him, but he doesn't really mean it and it's too easy to dodge it. Behind them, the screens indicate a cry for help and Bruce is back at the screen in a second. So is Wally and throwing him a sideway glance, it strikes him again.
It's not about mum and dad anymore. It's about Wally West. It's not about his pain anymore. It's about his love.
And he'll never let it come as far a shiny costumes and a world where Wally West isn't alive. Never.
It's late. I'm tired. Bruce is kinda OOC, but then again, he doesn't deal good with loss and the JL Bruce is way more of a softie than the regular comic-ish Bruce. And yeah. I don't really care, it worked for my story.
I've had massive writer's block, anything I write now is an accomplishment XDD
Not been BETA'd, hot from the press, full of errors, probably XD
Now tell me you loved it anyway XDD
Please review?