Hey guys. I wrote this on a whim and decided that perhaps I should upload it. It just sort of came to me. Not edited at all, just spilled it and letting it go.
hope on some level you enjoy lol
Only You
I feel a remorse like I had never felt before, a cloud descending upon my shoulders as i look at his rapidly falling face.
...Feliciano... I don't know what else to tell you. No, there is not anyone else. No, you never did anything wrong. You were perfect. Your confused, but understanding, saying you know how it goes. You've had to do this yourself before. My heart aches for you yet says that perhaps I did the right thing... logistically I did the right thing. We probably would have not worked out. That the distance between us was too great. That perhaps it was I that was dragging you down, away from the freedom you so do need. And me, the independence that I crave. Yet at the same time, watching a relationship die has left me withered.
I sink into my bed in melancholy, my back straight against my hard mattress, and think of you. Of how you are feeling, of if you are doing OK, of if you are going to still come over tomorrow, of if we will still be able to talk the same way, of if, of if, of if. I just cant let you go can I? I did, in sense, yet at the same moment I cant.
Why do I feel compelled to distance myself from you, yet feel this terrible when i do? So distracted from everything else, only able to still think of you.