GIRL TALK

SUMMARY: Working as hired muscle for a mob boss is a tough job; just ask Mikasa Ackerman. Luckily, she has a friend to keep her company. Mikasa x Levi, Armin x Annie.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: The last thing I should be doing is starting more stories.

"Did he say we're supposed to stand out here for the entire time?"

Annie looked over at her friend and coworker with a sour expression on her face. "If you don't like the job, just quit."

The two stood guard outside a secret room, located at the end of the long wall on the top floor of some popular nightclub. The place was owned by a very well-known and respected (but usually feared) mob boss who went by the name of Erwin Smith. To the ire of many of his colleagues, he had hired Mikasa and Annie as his bodyguards. Though their fellow gang members were initially skeptical, the two later proved themselves by taking down taken down a team of assassins-who'd targetted Erwin in his own backyard-with various garden tools.

"But I don't want to quit," whined Mikasa. "I just want a job with more normal hours that maybe isn't on the wrong side of the law." Digging into the pocket of her dress pants, she pulled out her cell phone. "It's three-thirty in the morning. I can't even spend time with my friends anymore because by the time I get home, I just crash."

Annie shrugged. "You've got me." At Mikasa's shudder of mock-revulsion, she sighed and hastily backtracked. "And your boyfriend."

"Levi isn't my boyfriend."

"Ahh," said Annie, leaning against the wall. "He's just some guy you live with and happen to have sex with every night."

"We don't have sex every night." Mikasa mockingly used air quotations.

Annie raised an eyebrow, her expression still stoic. "Well, every other night. But you sound like you need to have sex every night."

Mikasa unbuttoned her black blazer and fanned herself. The heat of the club was stifling and her uniform-a black designer suit provided by the boss-was only making it worse. "Like you should be talking. I live right next door to Armin, you know."

To her credit, Annie didn't furiously blush or attempt to change the subject. "Yeah. So?"

"I can hear you guys fucking."

"We don't fuck."

"Ahh." Mikasa nodded. "Forgot we were talking about Armin. I can hear you guys making love, then."

"Maybe you should consider moving out."

"And where am I going to find a place like that for the same price?" Mikasa shook her head and picked at the paint on the walls. "I can't afford to move out on my own."

"Bullshit. You make $150 an hour and sometimes more if Erwin wants us to do an odd job."

"If I move out, Eren's going to be on the streets in less than a month."

"Fair enough," conceded Annie, who was well-versed in the eccentricities of Eren Yeager whose dream was to create a video game allowing people to kill giants. Or maybe it was to manufacture a line of steroids. Or vitamins. Eren's goal changed every now and then. "Why don't you move in with your boyfriend and send Eren money when he needs it?"

"Annie, this is Eren. I don't believe you've met," said Mikasa, gesturing to an invisible Eren beside her with over-exaggerated motions.

"Hey, you didn't deny that Levi wasn't your boyfriend."

"I-I didn't hear that part!"

"So, denial isn't just a river in Egypt."

"Annie, leave the puns to Armin. He's the only one cute enough to get away with it."

Annie scoffed. "You'd be surprised."

The two laughed and solemnly adopted identical looks of bitter annoyance.

"Armin's puns are seriously annoying, though." Mikasa said, recalling the time when Armin had decided to speak only in puns for an entire day.

"That's why I try not to encourage talking when I'm with him," said Annie shamelessly. At Mikasa's horrified visage, she shrugged. "Hey, at least I'm being honest with my relationship."

Mikasa rolled her eyes. "You know who's really annoying?"

"Eren?"

"Like, I love him and all, but he can be such a little prick!" Mikasa gnashed her teeth. "So, you know how I keep a box of condoms in my bedside drawer?"

Annie nodded. "Yeah. If I'm out, then I usually go to your room."

"Eren found it."

"God, no."

"And you know what he did?"

"What?" Annie asked, her interest piqued.

"He decided to take out all of the condoms."

"The little prick!"

"Yeah!" Mikasa cried in agreement. "So, next thing you know, Levi's over and we're getting into the mood and all, so he goes to open a condom and instead, he rips open a pack of instant noodle seasoning and I get powdered broth all over my bed!"

Annie placed a sympathetic hand on Mikasa's arm. It was the only sort of affectionate gesture that went on between the two. "Next time we go out, drinks are on me."

Before Mikasa could reply, the door they were supposed to be guarding, opened. Erwin Smith poked his immaculately coiffed head out. "Girls?"

Mikasa and Annie snapped to attention.

"I don't think I'll be needing you ladies for the rest of the night. You two can take off if you'd like. I'll call you when I need you to come in again."

"Thanks, Erwin." Mikasa nodded her thanks. "See you tomorrow."

"Bye, Erwin." Annie saluted.

The door closed behind their boss and the two girls turned to each other.

"Drinks?" Asked a weary Mikasa. "The bar should still be open."

"Definitely."

Reviews encourage me to update my other fics.