Just a song

It was two days before Christmas and although there was no shortage of cases, sometimes very serious ones, it seemed the season's spirit had already taken over the office. What also contributed was that the Admiral wasn't in, having a meeting in the Pentagon. Harriet had baked cookies and generously handed those around and next to the normal coffee and tea someone had provided mulled tea, of which the rich odours filled the bullpen. Some bold officers had decorated their desks with a Santa or little Christmas tree and there was turkey on the menu in the cantina.
Harm went to the kitchen to make himself a hot drink. Coming back with his mug he caught himself whistling a Christmas song "God rest you, merry gentleman, let nothing you dismay …"
Bud, working at his desk, looked up and grinned. He too puckered his lips and whistled the second line "… remember Christ the Saviour was born on Christmas day."
Sturgis appeared in the door of his office, smiling. He looked at Harm and Harm looked back, a grin from ear to ear on his face. He put away his drink and grabbed a stapler, using is as a makeshift microphone. He burst out in song.
"To save us all from Satan's power,
When we were gone astray"
Sturgis stepped next to him, just in time to join in in the chorus.
"O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy."
Heads went up and chairs were turned. Bud wasn't one to be left out and he too rose, rolling up a folder to use as a mike. It was him who initiated the next song, Rudolf the red nosed reindeer, his son AJ's favourite. By now a circle of people started to form around them and the officers who were still in their offices began to join the crowd, among them Mac. People started to swing with the tunes, tapping their feet and snapping their fingers.
In the meantime Harm had started 'Feliz Navidad' and after that it was Sturgis' turn with
'Rocking around the Christmas tree'.
"Santa Claus is coming to town', a voice requested and dutifully the three men broke into song. The chorus was coming from twenty plus mouths now and when the song ended there was laughter and cheering.
"Another one!"
Bud looked at Harm, for him to choose one. "Ta, ta, ta taterata," he started and went on with "I don't want a lot for Christmas," and the chorus was once again eager to sing along "All I want for Christmas is you!"
Suddenly there was a loud bang. The door of Mac's office had shut close. Startled the people looked around and at each other, seeing Colonel MacKenzie had left. The sound of muffled sobs could be heard coming from her office.
For a moment a surprised and shocked silence ruled. Then people started to whisper. What had happened? What had sent the Colonel running and crying to her office?
Harm, Bud and Sturgis looked also at each other in shock. What had they done, more specific, what had they done wrong? After all, singing Christmas songs could hardly be called a crime, could it? Harriet was the first to regain her bearings and hastened to the door of Mac's office. Without knocking she opened it and slipped in, closing the door again after her. The men could hear her talk but no answer was heard, except for the sobs.

Suddenly there was a new arrival. It was the Admiral and it took him just a second to take in the situation.
"What the h*** do you think you're doing?" he barked at the three men, now feeling very silly with their makeshift microphones." My office!"
Harm, Sturgis and Bud al but tripped over their feet in their haste to obey.
Inside Chegwidden sat down and looked gruffly at his subordinates, standing tightly at attention.
"Well! What was that?"
The three looked at each other; who was going to take the lead? It was Sturgis.
"We were just having some fun, Sir. Singing Christmas songs."
"Singing Christmas songs? Right! And that sent the Colonel crying to her office?" The Admiral's voice was loaded with threat and disbelieve and Harm hastened to step in. "I don't understand what happened either, Sir. We, Sturgis and I … in the Academy we often formed a duo, singing along at evenings. Today I came out of the kitchen, whistling a Christmas song and Lieutenant Roberts whistled along. Then Commander Sturgis came out of his office and we looked at each other, both remembering those times and well, it went from there," he explained. "But nor me nor Commander Sturgis nor Lieutenant Roberts said something to the Colonel or did anything to upset her." Bud and Sturgis nodded their agreement.
His CO threw him a pointed look. "And earlier this day?"
"No Sir. This morning we worked on a case and we had lunch together. Everything was fine."
The Admiral saw there was nothing more to ask or say. The men really hadn't a clue.
"Right." He grabbed his phone. "Tiner, send Lieutenant Simms in."
"Aye, aye Sir."
A moment later Harriet entered the room.
"You asked for me, Sir?"
"Yes. Can you tell me what the h*** is wrong with the Colonel?"
"I don't know, Sir, she didn't want to say."
"Hrrmmm. Commander Rabb says they were only singing Christmas songs and fooling around a bit."
"That's true, Sir."
"Right. Can you send the Colonel in?"
"Sir, she called in sick. She had a terrible headache."
Chegwidden almost pulled a face. So much for talking to her then.
"Kindergarten! Dismissed. Commander, I expect the Colonel to be alright tomorrow! And Lieutenant, bring me a cup of coffee." he grumbled and reached for the stack of mail on his desk. His subordinates came to attention and left. Outside their CO's office Harm asked Harriet "Can you come to my office after you provided the Admiral with his coffee?"

A few moments later he asked Harriet the million dollar question. "What happened, why was Mac crying?"
"Sir, I don't know. She wouldn't tell. And I can't figure it out either. You did nothing wrong; the three of you were only fooling around a bit."
Harm nodded thoughtfully. That was his thought, too.
"Permission to speak freely, Sir?"
'Granted."
"Sir, I know in the past there were moments you, the Colonel and you, said spiteful things."
Harm refrained from commenting; he knew all to well it was true.
"But lately you seemed on a good foot again. That's why this surprised me so much. Are you going to do something about it?"
Harm sighed. "I guess I will be visiting the Colonel this evening; more or less on the Admiral's orders. And then, I want to know what we did wrong, too."

Mac's apartment
19.00

There was a knock on the door. A knock Mac had more or less expected and feared. She could have known it was not like Harm to let go. For a moment she thought of playing 'not at home' but then she remembered he probably had seen the light through the curtains. Another knock, a bit more insisting. With a sigh she rose and went to answer.
And indeed, it was Harm.

"Can I come in?"
Silently she stepped aside and he strode in. He was clearly on a mission and opened his mouth the moment she had closed the door.
"Mac, what is wrong? What happened this afternoon?"
"Nothing. I had a terrible headache and went home early." Her eyes didn't meet his.
"Mac, one moment you were fine and the next moment. We worked on that case together and had lunch and you never said so much as a word about having a headache. Or took aspirins, for that matter!" Harm protested.
"Can't I have a headache without you seeing me take a painkiller?" Mac knew she was fighting an uphill battle.
"You can. But I know you, Mac. When you have a headache it shows. I always can see it in your eyes. You were fine."
Mac kept a stubborn silence.
"Besides, until that moment you ran, there was nothing wrong. H*ck, you sang along, just like everyone else!" Harm wavered between anger and desperation. Her demeanour was so flat, void of her normal spunk and feistiness it really worried her. He had to get through to her. He clenched his fists.
"Please Mac, talk to me. What happened? What did we do wrong?"
Mac kept silent, her eyes on her hands.
"Mac, please!?"
Silence.
"Mac, talk to me!"
"I'm fine."
She still wasn't looking at him and suddenly Harm snapped. He had enough! He grabbed Mac's shoulders and yanked her towards him. With force his lips landed on hers and stayed there.
Finally the need of air forced them to break up.
They looked at each other. Harm didn't expect nothing else than for Mac to smack his face and tell him to get lost. He wouldn't blame her; he deserved it. But instead Mac wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for another kiss. This one was soft and warm and loving. Mac moaned, angling her head to have a better feel.
Finally he pulled back but didn't let go of her. He opened his mouth but she beat him to it.
"Don't say you're sorry." Her lips quivered and big brown eyes pleaded.
Harm shook his head. "I won't, for I'm not sorry. I wanted to kiss you for a long time. The only thing I'm sorry for is that I was so brute."
Mac took a shivering breath.
"Kiss me some more."

Later they sat on the couch, Mac in Harm's lap.
"What happened today?" he asked. "The Admiral asked us what we did to upset you but we couldn't tell. We had no idea what we did wrong and honestly, I still don't know."
Mac sighed. "You did nothing wrong. You were just fooling around a bit. All in good spirit of the season."
"But?"
"You were right, at first I sang along, just like everyone else. But that last song …" she swallowed with the memory.
Harm thought. What had that last song been?
"All I want for Christmas is you?"
"Yes. I saw Bud look at Harriet. The look they exchanged. He meant what he was singing. And I could see Sturgis was thinking about Varese. But you didn't even look my way." At the remembrance she bit her lips.
"I didn't dare," Harm softly said. "I was too afraid you would be able to see how I feel about you."
"What do you feel?" Mac blurted out before she knew it.
"Love. I love you. Sarah. So much."
Mac gasped and tears welled up.
"You love me, too?" she whispered.
"Yes." Harm's heart jumped up. Love me, too, she had said. He leaned in to place another soft kiss on her lips.
"I love you so much. But I was afraid to show it, afraid you would laugh at me, afraid it would damage our friendship. Afraid it would make working together awkward, if not impossible."
Mac's arms slid around his neck.
"I was afraid of that, too. There were so many times I hoped there was something more between us than just friendship, little things you said and did, but then again I was afraid to read too much in them. Today … I knew all I wanted was you, but when you didn't give an indication you felt the same, didn't even as much as looked at me … it just was too much. I couldn't …" Her lips quivered once more and Harm was quick to give her a reassuring kiss.
"I love you and I want you. Not just for Christmas but always. For ever."
"Me too," Mac sighed. "I love you and I want you. For ever."
Harm pulled her against his chest. He started to hum, then softly sang "I don't want a lot for Christmas … all I ever wanted, was you!"

The end