I needed to leave, so I thought of the one place I could go. The one person who had stayed the same over the past year. The only constant thing in my life: Haymitch. So I trudged through the snow in the middle of the night, making my way through the Victor's Village until I arrived at the familiar cottage. The lights inside were on, and I could see that a warm fire had been started, illuminating the family room with a comfortable glow. I had to knock a couple of times before the door swung open.
I looked at Haymitch, taking in his drunken state. His hair was a mess, the top two buttons of his shirt were missing, and he clutched a bottle of something, as if it was his lifeline. It probably was. He made some sort of grunt, and opened the door wider, allowing me to enter. He walked back to the kitchen, and I closed the door behind me. This had become a habit over the past few months: I would show up to his house, spend some time there, and then go back home. No questions asked. We understood each other that way. As I walked to the fireplace, my hip bumped into a side table that was supporting a bottle. I watched as the bottle tipped over, shattered onto the floor, and deep red wine spread all over the place.
"Good job sweetheart," Haymitch growled with cutting sarcasm. The words stung, and I could feel the tears filling my eyes and blurring my vision. The past year of my life had been a living hell. After the Games, I kept having terrible nightmares. I would see images of Rue, and then of Cato dying. Peeta remained by my side, but he wasn't the same. Then again, I wasn't the same either. And now, Haymitch had snapped at me for knocking over a bottle of his liquor, and I was on the brink of losing it.
I took a deep breath, and focused. My emotional state left me vulnerable, and exceptionally insecure. I was one step away from breaking. Before I knew it, I was sobbing uncontrollably. Great, I thought to myself, as I tried to calm myself down, but my attempts were futile. You can never do anything right, Katniss. I tried to lift myself up, but my muscles felt weak. I resorted to staying on the floor and picking up pieces of the shattered glass, trying to mutter an apology but all that came out of my mouth were loud sobs. I felt two muscular arms encase me, and before I could react, Haymitch pulled me to my feet. I remained in his arms, sobbing into his chest.
"Shhh, Katniss, it's okay," He whispered as he stroked my back, and tried to get me to calm down. I continued to cry, and eventually between hiccups, I managed to speak.
"I'm so sorry, I've been such a mess…I'm just so tired," I cried.
Haymitch's grip around me tightened, and I buried my face back into his chest. He continued to stroke my back until my sobbing stopped, and I took a deep breath. I looked up at his face, to see him looking back at me. I immediately looked back down, blushing. It was embarrassing to break down in front of anyone, especially Haymitch. He seemed to sense my thoughts, as he cupped his hands on my face, and pulled back slightly so that he could look at me.
"Sweetheart, you're going to be alright. I'm right here," He said.
It felt good to hear him call me sweetheart while meaning it. In fact, my heart quickened, and I felt a warm glow inside of me. As I looked up into his eyes, a new wave of boldness washed over me. I slowly tilted my face up and went on my tippy toes until we were at the same level. I watched as Haymitch stared intently at me, and then his eyes flickered towards my lips. He seemed to subconsciously draw me closer to him, as his arms tightened around my waist. We were only centimeters apart, when I closed the space between us and placed my lips on his. The kiss started off slow, and then quickly picked up in desperation. We both needed each other. As one of my hands remained tangled in his unkempt hair, and the other rested lightly on his chest, I felt sparks. He kissed me back with equal fervor, as one of his hands cupped my cheek. As we pulled apart, we both stared at each other, breathless. It had been a long time since I had felt something. My lips tingled and I watched Haymitch, as a genuine smile spread over both of our faces. Thanks to Haymitch, I was once again, the Girl on Fire.
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