Helloooo people and welcome to our new column 'Ask Sokka and Toph'! This is the place where you can get the chance to kick back, relax and, um…

Ask Sokka and Toph.

Right, that's it! So anyway, if you didn't know already I'm Sokka, and this here is Toph, and we're going to answer your letters here! Yup, we'll be replying just about any question you throw at us, so bring it on and – Ow, Toph what was that for?!

When Snoozles says we'll be replying any question you send in to us, he forgot a few details. We do have our own limits to exactly how much we're going to share with you guys – for example, if I get any idiot asking for the gazillionth time who Lin's father is I'll rockalanche him into next month, so don't get any ideas. And contrary to what the summary says, I really wouldn't advise asking what to eat for breakfast tomorrow, because I didn't sign up for this thing to argue with Sokka on the virtues of pancakes versus cereal.

No, you're here because you're bored stiff with waiting for the next Legend of Korra season to air so you dragged Carrot away from her manga-reading to start a new humor/parody fic because that's pretty much the only interaction you're willing to have with the fanfiction world.

More or less. Now before Sokka gets into another of his lengthy explanations again, we'll give you an example of how things here will be done, with a letter kindly contributed by Carrot's no-longer-eleven sister. Basically, the letters will be in italic, like this:

Dear Sokka and Toph (or Toph and Sokka, whatever suits you, I don't care),

What should I do if someone who I don't really like in a 'like' sort of way shows signs of actually liking me? You know, as in 'like' liking?

Yours sincerely,
Kawaii-Aang

Then Sokka and I will answer: his replies are in normal font while mine are in bold. And in case you're wondering how I can write this without be able to see, I'm using a voice recognition input system we installed into Carrot's laptop using a plot hole and a screwdriver. That's all I'll tell you.

Great, now can we get to the answering already? First of all, Kawaii-Aang, what's with that name? And second, of course it should be 'Sokka and Toph' and not the other way around, this is the 'Ask Sokka and Toph' column after all!

First of all, it's not our job to question every name we come across in the letters, and besides, so what if she thinks Twinkletoes is cute? And you're just trying to make the most of having your name first after what happened during the AtLA Awards.

Well, duh! I already said back then my name should come first, but then you guys threatened to replace me with Momo if I didn't shut up! Anyway Kawaii (I can just call you that, right? Because Kawaii-Aang is a bit of a mouthful), if you don't have any romantic feelings for that guy but you think he might feel that way about you, then just make it clear that you want to be friends and nothing more. I'm not suggesting you walk right up to him and yell the fact into his face, but don't try to lead him on by being overly close to him. Set some boundaries and use a bit of aloofness, and he'll get the hint.

You told Aang to act aloof when he asked you for advice on how to chase girls. Isn't that sort of contradictory?

Wait, how did you know about that?!

I've been rewatching (in a manner of speaking) Book 1 since I've got nothing better to do. It's always fun to see how you guys struggled to survive before you met me.

*cough*Narcissist*cough*. Well, that's the lowdown on how the show is run, and now it's your turn to write in! Send your letters to Carrot-Bunny's private messaging inbox on her profile and not through reviewing, for we don't want this fic to be deleted like the AtLA Awards, do we? Anyone without an account can submit questions through reviews, of course, but we give PMs top priority here!

So go click on Carrot's penname at the top of the page to get to her profile, and start writing those letters! And by the way, any advice given here is followed at your own risk, especially Sokka's.

Hey!

Till the next column, guys! See ya!

Toph, you'd better take that back or else – hey, who turned out the lights? Where'd everyone go? Guys? Hello?