Sitting here
In this empty space,
Where everything seemed more pleasant
Than it really was
Makes me think that
I don't have anywhere
To belong in this world
And that I don't have anything
Or anyone
To hold to in this life.
They laugh at me
And label me
Using the only stereotypical terms they know:
"Nerd", "freak", "loser", "monster"...
And their words
Cut like a knife across my heart,
Giving me pain
No one will ever understand,
The kind you want to permanently end,
And shoving everything I didn't want
In my face,
Like they think everything is my fault
When it's not...
And they like to
Keep the wound open,
Cutting a hole
Back into it
And forcing it in
Over and over again
Until I have no blood left to bleed...
And the worst part is
They don't understand who I am.
Sure, I've made mistakes,
But that doesn't mean
That I'm never going to
Learn from them
I just don't know
What to do anymore...
I'm lost in my thoughts,
Trying to separate
Fact from fiction,
The truth from a pack of lies,
What I am and what I'm not...
I've been used and broken
For way too long
And I know
That it will take much more than
Believing in myself
To make the pain go away...
When I really think about it...
Not everyone hates me.
There are still people out there
That love me for who I am,
And I don't just mean family.
I mean friends
That will stick by me
No matter what
And will never betray me
So, I'll still let them
Call me what they want
And try to break me again,
But I'll still have at least
One person that loves me...
Hey, even nerds need love, too.