Watching in the distance
Summary: I gave him up, as my twin, for fear of the pain and crazyiness it'll bring me but still I watch. For Broke but not broken challenge
Disclaimer: I don't own the hunger games.
Rating: T for mild references.
Enjoy
I watch him through the windows of his house. I can never risk, speaking to him again, can neve hug him again. I comb my blond hair through my fingers. We've both lost so much. I as his sister, grew up with him, could only sit there with him as our parents drowned and could only scream in despair as he entered the games. But now, he's the golden child, and I am at risk. He will certainly be put into the sex trade, as soon as he reaches 16. For once I must be selfish. I watch him chatter with his friends and long to be there next to him. I as his twin, deserve that much. But I am twisted. I would rather suffer alone, and be at least more safe, then be with Finnick and be more at risk. Lost, in my thoughts I barely notice him lock eyes with me. There is no affection there. I turn and leave. "Sadie." I hear him call. We were always a family, but now everytime I look at him, I see his murderer instincts etched all over his face. I turn "Finnick." I say rather cooly. I watch him ran up to me, and embrace me. It is the most tender hug we have ever shared, "why?" I heard him whisper. "I don't trust the capitol, yet now you are their golden boy, it is dangerous, you don't reliase this and." He held up a finger to my lips and for the first time I saw the pain in his eyes. He knew. Yet unlike me, he was willing to play the part. I stumbled backwards, and started screaming. I noticed the other victors staring at me through their windows, but for once I didn't care. I didn't notice Finnick pick me up and shoo all his friends out. He dropped me on the lounge. 'The houses are bugged" I barely whisper. He just hugged me. I could feel my sanity slipping "Finnick don't let me go."He shook his head.
In the night I slip away, and notice him waiting for me. "Finnick I can't I have to disown you." Finnick nodded "do that then, but stay here, forever let me look after you." Briefly I come back to earth, and think about how selfish I am. But then I start screaming and Finnick carries me to bed.
I drift in and out of sanity. Finnick, never takes me away to a mental facilty. He never wines. Sometimes I wonder how hard it must be for him, trying to keep sane for both of us. But then the madness take hold of me.
I often wonder why I went mad. From realising nothing is safe. From seeing the darkness of the world. Or possibly my inner darkness.
Two years later, I meet Annie for the first time. She is broken like me, but has suffered even double then I have.
One month later, I am alone. Finnick and Annie are out. I feel my sanity even dropping even lower. I walk into the kitchen take a knife and end my life, my last breath thanking Finnick my loving twin for always caring for me.