Title: Honey, Honey
Author: Lost in Romance
Rating: T (As of now. Could possibly change later)
Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS or Mama Mia or any of the ABBA songs. :(

A/N: Okay I know this is random but when I saw Mama Mia the movie so many ideas came to mind so I decided to write them. Let me know what you think! For the sake of making it work for this story, some of the factual dates have been changed and I don't know the order in which they went on their missions except I know it started in Marseilles and ended in Paris with multiple places in between. You'll understand when you get to it. There isn't really any present Jibbs-ness in this one. Its mostly all alluding to past Jibbs.

Also, just to let everyone know, I'm not doing all the songs, just some. Here are the ones I'm doing: Honey Honey, Mama Mia, Our Last Summer, Super Trouper, Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!, SOS, Does Your Mother Know, Slipping Through My Fingers…if you have an ideas for one that isn't up here let me know and I'll see what I can do. P.S. Bold italic is a journal entry

Summary: Jethro gets a hold of Jen's diary from their missions through out Europe, and he couldn't help but take a peak at a few of the entries.

Honey, Honey

"Jen, you know I have to," Gibbs said with an exasperated sigh. He was sick of her arguing with him. She knew she wasn't going to win this one. There was no way that after what happened today he would let her sleep here without any protection detail.

"Jethro I am perfectly capable of handling myself. This is completely unnecessary. Why should neither of us get a good nights sleep when we both could get a good one," then she remembered he was used to getting little to no sleep because of that damn boat of his. "Or at least I could get a good night sleep and you can do whatever the hell it is you do." He laughed knowing she could never understand that boat in his basement and the appeal it had to him.

"Why does me being here affect the kind of sleep you get," he asked with a smirk playing across his lips. The look of irritation at both him and herself was clear to see on her face. Jen glared at him before she turned and stalked up the stairs pouting like a two year old. Gibbs shook his head but laughed…she looked so cute – stop it. She's not yours to think about like that. But he couldn't deny himself that it was true.

Getting bored with just standing there, Gibbs walked aimlessly around her house until he stopped at the study. He peered in and found a good bottle of bourbon sitting on the shelf and was almost tempted to go and pour himself a glass but thought better of it.

"Go ahead and have glass. In fact I wouldn't mind one myself," Jen said from behind him. If she had startled him he didn't show it, instead he turned and gave her a quick half smile as he made his way to the bourbon. He poured them both good amounts and looked up to give her the glass when he noticed something he hadn't before. Jen was holding a bundle of blankets and a pillow. When she saw that he noticed what she was holding, she gave him a shy smile and walked over to the couch where she laid everything down and started to make a somewhat bed of it.

"You, uh, don't have to that you know? I don't plan on sleeping much down here."

"You planning on sleeping somewhere else Jethro? I would like to know now so I know if I have to sleep with my gun under my pillow." She gave him a playful smile and turned back to what she was doing. Once she was done she got her bourbon and went to sit back down on the couch. Finally able to sit down somewhere comfortable in her comfy sweats she changed into while upstairs, she realized how exhausted she actually was.

Jethro looked over at her sitting on the couch and decided to join her. Awkwardly he sat down next to her wondering if it was weird for her being in such close proximity. She seemed fine with it so he let out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding. Feeling her gaze on him, he looked over to see a content look on her face like she was remembering a good memory.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

"They're not even worth that. I was just trying to remember the last time we just sat comfortably with each other. I kinda like it." She averted her gaze as she said the last part feeling somewhat uncomfortable letting him know that though she wasn't sure why. It's not like you admitted to being in love with him…

"Yeah, it's nice. But let's not forget I'm here as your protection detail."

"Of course not," her voice was a little stiffer after the reminder. Though she knew different, she couldn't help but think he had wanted to be here.

"Well, I think I'm going to get some rest. Had a full day." She set her empty glass on the table and turned to give Gibbs one last smile before she went up the stairs to her bedroom. Gibbs watched her go up and felt a little disappointed with himself for ruining a moment like that; or at least ruining a potential moment.

He got up to put the glasses away, but something caught his eye. It was a safe. It was behind her desk and it was a small one, it must have been a recent purchase too because he'd never noticed it before. He only knew of the one in her closet that was huge and held everything important to her. But none of those things are what interested him the most. It was the fact that it was open. He had two options here; one: he could pretend he never saw it and move on, thinking that whatever was in there probably wasn't that interesting or two: he could look inside and see what she keeps hidden and then never tell her about it. The thing was he was never one for lying; he hated liars and he also wasn't a fan of hypocrisy, but he was good at keeping secrets, so he chose to go for the latter; for his conscience and sense of upholding principles sake.

At first glance he couldn't really see anything too interesting and he was about to give up when something that looked familiar caught his eye. All he could see was the edge of a leather bound book but he could have sworn he'd seen it before. He reached in and pulled it, instantly recognizing what it was. There in his hands was something that had always caused curiosity within him. He ran his hand over the delicate cover and as he did he caught the faint smell of her perfume on it. He traced the border that surrounded the intricate design of the Arc de Triumph. So many memories came back to him and he wondered if they would be the same ones that would be recorded in this, for he was holding not Director Shepard's, but Special Agent Jennifer Shepard's journal in his hands. She said she started after her first day as an agent. She kept at it in all the time that he had known her. And never once had he seen what was inside of it.

Honey honey, how you thrill me, ah-hah, honey honey
Honey honey, nearly kill me, ah-hah, honey honey

Hesitantly he opened the cover. The first page was nothing special; all it said was Property of: Jennifer Shepard. Taking a deep breath he opened to the next page. He looked at the date and saw that it was after her first day at NCIS. It didn't say much except that her boss was an ass but she had expected that. What she didn't expect was that despite his personality he was quite attractive. He flipped through later pages and saw one that caught his attention. It talked about how her attraction towards him was growing and it was nearly killing her every time he would smile a crooked smile her way. She said that sometimes she swore she could see a flicker of attraction towards her in his eyes but she mostly convinced herself that it was her imagination. Never the less it didn't stop her from fantasizing about him. He laughed at that. He wished she's written them down for him to read. He finished the rest of that entry and he skipped ahead and found a date that caught his interest.

I'd heard about you before
I wanted to know some more
And now I know what they mean, you're a love machine
Oh, you make me dizzy

June 19, 1998

Wow… that is probably the best word I can come up with in this state to describe what happened. Actually, there are better words. Fantastic, amazing, mind blowing, unbelievable, incredible… I could go on and on. Before I do go on, I'll write what happened from the beginning. Both Gibbs and I were working late finishing up some paperwork, we were the only ones left of the team. I finished my case report and I go to hand it to him and he says, "It's about time." He told me he never leaves until the last agent does and he told me to remember that the next all I had left was paperwork. He got up from his desk and turned to me and asked if I had plans tonight. Of course I told him no. He asked if I would like to come over for a glass of bourbon and without hesitation, which now that I look back must have made me look like an idiot, I said yes, even though I didn't even drink bourbon. One thing led to another, or should I say one drink turned into another, and we ended up tangled in his sheets, clothes strewn all over the place. I now understand what those women in the restroom were talking about. The things that man knows…

The last part surprised him the most. He didn't know she had heard about him before; especially from two women talking in the restroom, at least he hoped it was just two. He was slightly embarrassed about his actions knowing that before her he had some careless nights with some women in the building. Things with Diane had been ending, and so he was back to sleeping in his old house, glad that he decided not to sell it when he married her.

Gibbs flipped ahead to their first night undercover together in Marseilles, knowing that there wasn't really anything else he could remember that would interest him.

Honey honey, let me feel it, ah-hah, honey honey
Honey honey, don't conceal it, ah-hah, honey honey

August 3, 1998

I can already tell tonight was going to be a long night, and not just because it my first night undercover with Jethro. Or should I call him Gibbs? I'm not really sure what type of relationship we have with each other. It seems ever since… that night, he has been more infuriating than ever. I'm not sure if it's to make it known that just because of one remarkable night I would not be given any special treatment. Well let me tell you something here Jethro, It's known! Today though, he was acting strange. He was smiling more than usual, not that I didn't enjoy his smile, it just wasn't him. It made me nervous but not in a scared way, it was more of anticipation. I wasn't sure what was coming but I knew something was. Right now he is sitting by the window watching the docks while I'm writing this. But I keep catching him looking back at me and when I try to meat his gaze, he turns back away like he's trying to conceal something. And now he is telling me it is my turn to keep watch…

Memories of their first night undercover came back to him. He knew exactly what she was referring to when he said he had been acting strange. It was a feeling that he hadn't been able to shake since their one night together, and for some reason going on an undercover mission together made it stronger. It was some weird gravitational pull towards her. There was just something about her that made her so damn appealing, and of course her being a redhead didn't hurt.

He also remembered himself trying to sneak glances back at her, and all he would see her doing was scribbling away in that little book. At the time he thought she was taking notes. And she was right about him trying to conceal something; for some reason he felt, not quite like an open book, more like when you go to say a Spanish speaking country and the only Spanish you know is a few years of it, not quite fluent in it but you know enough to get you by. That's how he felt. She didn't know exactly what he was thinking but she always could get a pretty feeling about what he was feeling, just not exactly what caused it. He flipped to the next page, knowing he'd be interested in what was written.


The way that you kiss goodnight
(The way that you kiss me goodnight)
The way that you hold me tight
(The way that you're holding me tight)
I feel like I wanna sing when you do your thing

August 4, 1998

Again. It happened again. And, though I thought it was impossible, it was even better than before. Mind you there was much less alcohol consumption than the last time, so the details I can remember clearer. It started just like last night with him watching the docks but this time I was sitting right next to him watching. I hadn't noticed the closeness between us which was odd because I am usually very aware of personal space. When I looked over at him I suddenly became aware of his scent; a mix of bourbon and French roast coffee. As if could sense me smelling him, he chuckled. I quickly turned back to watching the docks instead of him. Then he turned to me and I turned to face him. "I don't think there is going to be much going on tonight. We could try to find something to pass the time," he suggested. I wasn't sure what that entailed so I asked, "Have anything in mind?" "A few." He had mischievous look in his eye and then before I knew it he was kissing me. It all seemed to move so fast yet nothing seemed forced and then all of a sudden he was doing that thing with his fingers that drove me insane. After our first round (there were three!) he did something that surprised but it was a good one. He actually held me. Granted I would have called us friends before, like we had talked but for some reason being held after had always seemed to intimate to me. And that was that.

That night was still perfectly clear in his mind. Everything leading up to it, during it, after it. He remembered it had surprised him when he actually wanted to hold her afterwards. Like Jen, he shared the same views on how intimate holding someone was. He hadn't done that with many other women in his life. Besides Jen, the other women had all be wives. He read bits of other entries until he found one that caught his interest.

I don't wanna hurt you, baby, I don't wanna see you cry
So stay on the ground, girl, you better not get too high
But I'm gonna stick to you, boy, you'll never get rid of me
There's no other place in this world where I rather would be

January 9, 1999

This is hell. We've been stuck in this house for four days in the most desolate part of Serbia with nothing to do thanks to my gunshot wound. It might have been a week ago but it still hurts so damn bad. I had to spend three days in the hospital before they moved us here so I could recover. Poor Jethro, having to go through this with me. He's been surprisingly good to me. I was having a hard time at first. The man that shot me almost had gotten Jethro, that's when I pushed him away and I fell and having the bullet go into my thigh. Luckily Gibbs quickly reacted and pulled the trigger on the guy before he could get us. They knocked me out with heavy painkillers at the hospital but once we came here I started to get nightmares about the Jethro not being quick enough to shoot him or me not being to knock him out of the way. They all end right before I can see if the bullet is a hit or miss and each night he holds me and let's me cry. I haven't told him what they were about and he hasn't asked. If he did I don't know what I would tell him. Things have been shifting between, neither of us has mentioned it but I can tell he knows and he is just going with the flow. So I guess I will too.

He remembered well what happened after that night. Jenny decided she was well enough to "thank" him for how good he was to her. He held it over her head for while after that telling her she needed to learn to pace herself. Gibbs laughed at the memory and remembered when it had been brought up while they were sitting in MTAC, of he'd leave it to her to remember Positano.

Honey honey, touch me, baby, ah-hah, honey honey
Honey honey, hold me, baby, ah-hah, honey honey

January 28, 1999

Okay so I don't know why I'm writing. Nothing significant happened today. It was like any other day, except it wasn't. Today I realized I think there might be something more to me and Jethro's relationship. Well I always knew there was something more but I feel like we are at a whole new level yet nothing has changed. It's in the little things, but it's always been the little things to me that add to the big picture. It'll be in the little way he touches me or how we'll be walking down the street and he'll be holding me just like we always did but then he pulls me closer, trying to get as close as possible. And as I've been looking through the pictures we've taken I can see it in his eyes and in his smile. Before it was like he seemed as happy as he thought he was allowed to be, but now…something has changed. And I'm glad it finally has.

Something had changed within him and like always she had been spot on. He never thought he deserved to be happy like he had with Shannon and Kelley. He thought that it would be too selfish on his part to be blessed with that twice when most people don't even get it once. Jen wasn't the first one to notice it either. All of his previous wives had said the same thing. For some reason he wouldn't let his entire self be happy. Then he met Jen and he was having fun at the beginning but then he realized it wasn't just about having fun anymore and that scared him, then one night he had a dream instead of a nightmare; Shannon and Kelley were in it and they told him to be happy. He deserved. After that night he didn't see things the same anymore and he let himself be happy with Jenny. Gibbs found an entry that he remembered quite well.


You look like a movie star
(You look like a movie star)
But I know just who you are
(I know just who you are)
And, honey, to say the least, you're a dog-gone beast

March 1, 1999

Four cities in three days. We have been going from city to city all around the Czech Republic and finally we arrived at the final part of our mission here. Prague. It is unbelievably beautiful here. The old, gothic architecture and the little shops. And the snow made it that more breathtaking. Everything just looks so much more magical when there is snow. That brings me to my next topic. What am I going to do with Jethro? Ha ha. Since we have been traveling nonstop there hasn't been much time for you know…though even if we had found the time barely had enough alone time to spare a kiss. We traveled with three other NCIS agents and I don't think I have ever seen him in such unpleasant moods. I'm making note that when sexually frustrated, Jethro becomes desperate. One day I will take advantage of that. I must admit that holding out for four days adds to some more, creative approaches to things…never will I doubt Jethro's abilities.

Jen had definitely used it to her advantage on more than one account but Gibbs wasn't concerning himself with that at the moment. No, instead he was thinking back on their creative ways. The first night was more urgency than creativity but he could remember the nights that followed to make up for what they had missed were...innovative, as well as their locations. Let's see there was the frozen lake from when they went late night ice skating, there was behind the gargoyle of one of the castles, and pretty much every surface of their hotel. Gibbs skipped ahead a couple of months to Paris.

So stay on the ground, girl, you better not get too high
There's no other place in this world where I rather would be

June 19, 1999

I can't believe it has already been a year since my first night with Jethro. It has been amazing save for about that month and a half after our first night we weren't actually together. It seems Jethro is forgetting about those weeks because I woke up with a rose lying next to me on the pillow with a cute little note from him. Even when he took me out dinner tonight I still couldn't believe he would remember our first and what I originally thought would be our last time. He said that we can just celebrate again when the date comes around of the start of our official "relationship." I still can wrap my head around everything that has happened this past year. I feel like I have grown so much but maybe I hadn't. I didn't know. But the one thing I did know what that right now I am so I can't even describe. I have a man that I… I love sleeping in the bed. That's the first time I have ever written it on paper and even though we have said it to each other once or twice, it feels official now. Like I can no longer take it back. And the thing is I don't want to because right now there is no place I'd rather be.

He had always felt a little proud of himself for remembering that but the truth was he hadn't exactly. Well he had some help remembering that it, Jen left her planner open and there was a huge number one and an exclamation point next to it. He had thought back a year and then remembered what they had done. He hadn't thought that it that big of a deal what he did but to her it was something and that was all that mattered. Gibbs flipped to the end of the book to see how much was and he decided he would read two more entries.

Honey honey, how you thrill me, ah-hah, honey honey
Honey honey, nearly kill me, ah-hah, honey honey

August 4, 1999

Our second first anniversary. Gibbs said he thinks this one counted more but he was happy to celebrate the one before too. I don't know how butt he managed to get us reservations at Le Jules Vernes. He probably planned it around our first first anniversary when we talked about our second one. It was so romantic and beautiful I could never forget it. The elevator ride up was enough to thrill me for the evening and then add dinner to that, it was amazing and overwhelming. By the time dinner was over though I could tell he was anxious to get home and he nearly killed me we got to the hotel. Luckily my dress only had a zipper; no tricks here or there. I knew I should treasure these moments forever, you never know when they are all you have left. I'm just lucky to have had such remarkable ones.

It had taken quite a bit of effort and some string pulling to get a place at that restaurant. But it had been worth it to see the look on her face as they rode the elevator up. He too, had been grateful that after dinner when they were back at their hotel that her dress had a zipper on it. He wondered that she knew then that one day she'd leave. It hadn't occurred to him that it had been his version of a gut feeling; a woman's intuition. He had learned never to mess with it because most of the time it could be as well trusted as his gut. Jethro took a deep breath before he flipped to the last journal entry. He stared at the date disappointed. It wasn't the day she left him or even the night before; it was a week.


I heard about you before
I wanted to know some more
And now I'm about to see, what you mean to me

November 12, 1999

I don't know what to do. I think my mind is made up one way and then my heart changes, or visa versa. I love him, that's something that doesn't change. But how much do I love him? Am I in love with him? Yes. I already knew the answer to that. I figured it out months ago during our first first anniversary even though we'd barely even said I loved you. And that's what scares me. There is a certain vulnerability I feel when I'm around him. He knows what I'm thinking; I'm like an open book to him. I can easily read him as well but it's different than how he reads me. I had worked very hard to keep those was up and now he has shattered them along with all the guards I put with it. He is the most amazing, humble, broken man I know and yet I wouldn't trade him for the world. All this time together has been bliss but we all know the saying 'All good things must come to an end.' I would rather it end on my account than having it all messy. There would be more treasured memories saved that way. Also, I have to think about my future in my career. There are so many possibilities, none of which involve staying a field agent long. As of right now, I'm going to enjoy every minute that we have left together and see what happens. Let the chips fall where they may.

He stared down at what was in his hands. There were so many things running through his head the moment he couldn't even concentrate on one of them. Needing to sit down and realizing he had been standing the entire time, he went over to sit on the couch. It never ceased to amaze him how observant Jen was and how well she could read his feelings. Her comment on him being broken was exactly right, again. Jethro was a broken man but of course back then she didn't know why. He took deep sigh thinking about it all again.

Meanwhile he never knew that Jen had never actually gone to bed upstairs.

"Do you think he has read it?"

"Of course he's reading it. It has been awfully quiet downstairs and believe me Jethro usually makes a lot of noise."

"Oh I don't doubt that."

"Abby that is not what I meant and you know it." There was another giggle and a snicker from the other line. "You too Ziva. Just because you guys came up with this idea doesn't mean I won't fire your asses if it backfires."

"We know Jenny. We hope it works for your benefit and ours." Abby was always thinking of others.

"Well I should go down and see what's going on. Good night girls."

"G'night Jenny."

Back downstairs Gibbs was still staring at the journal entry. Then he noticed something written at the bottom. It was a different handwriting than the one above it yet it was just enough the same to tell it was written by the same person. It must have been written more recently. Only he couldn't tell what it meant. Now you'll find out what you mean to me. Then it dawned on him.

"What do I mean to you Jen," he asked of the study. Surprised what he received in turn.

"Everything. But I think it's easier to show you than to tell you." He whipped around to face her. He never expected to ever hear those words to come out of her mouth. Then before he knew it she was right infront of him, her eyes staring straight to his, challenging them. A smile crept onto to his lips.

"Then you better be ready to put on an entire show. Including an encore."

"I think I can manage that."

Okay so was that totally dumb? I'm not quite sure. Anyways thanks for reading, and reviews are much loved!