Love.
I know what love is.
I grew up around it.
I've seen it in movies, read about it in books, and even have seen it with my older sister and her boyfriend and with my parents.
I know what love is.
But I've never felt it.
I love my family.
I want to be in love.
All the songs I've heard don't make sense to me. All the people don't make sense.
I feel like I'm surrounded by love, but it hasn't found me yet.
I met a great guy freshman year, with the potential to make me love him. Just as our relationship was good, he left me for a blonde cheerleader.
Last year, I swore I fell in love. The dark, mysterious boy dressed in black stole my heart. Too bad that just as I thought I loved him, he left me.
Every time that I've seen love on the horizon, I've had my heart smashed.
I'm incapable of feeling anything anymore.
I can't find love.
It has to find me...
And I'm pretty sure it has stopped looking.
My older sister fell in love when she was young.
I'm sixteen and I'm still waiting and waiting.
Love.
It has the power to break, to heal, and to scar you.
It can burn you and leave you in pieces.
It isn't love's fault.
It's yours, for falling for the stupid tricks of the stupid boys.
You silly naive little girl.
You won't find love.
You can say you aren't pretty enough.
You can say that you're scared.
You can say that you're broken.
But I promise you that love will find you.
Love hasn't found me, poor little Clare Edwards.
I haven't given up hope.
I've been broken, but, hey, who hasn't?
Being in love means that you've finally found someone that understands every little aspect of you, even though you are the weirdest person on the world in their eyes.
You will always be beautiful to them, even when you're sick.
They will always care about you, even if you've given up on them.
Love is like finding another part of yourself.
You feel complete before you find it, but when you do, you realize that there's something new inside of you.
You realize that you've been missing a part of you your whole life.
You can't breathe.
You shake.
All you see is them.
You're in love.
All I want is for love to find me.
They don't know how much they scarred me when they left.
I trusted them with my heart and they broke it.
I miss the way Eli used to kiss me while I was in the middle of talking.
If he made a promise that he would never leave me... Why did he?
I cried.
I cried every night for three months.
I didn't want him to leave.
He broke me beyond repair.
I need someone new.
I need to be in love.
I need to forget about Eli.
I need something real now.
I need someone to help me.
Now I sit on the floor of my room wearing Eli's shirts that he didn't bother to come back to get.
I feel like it's the only thing of him I have left.
Why did he leave?
As much as I try to forget about him, I... Can't.
I stare at pictures of us.
I was happy.
Do you see what you did to me?
Eli, you really messed me up.
If you knew me now, you would know how much you broke me.
I'm not the same person I was when we were together.
I'm crazy, Eli.
You broke my heart.
Maybe I did love you.
That's why I feel this way, still a year later.
Love didn't make my stomach flip with you.
It broke my heart.
Here I am again.
I'm watching you across the room.
You ignore me like we never met before.
You act like you didn't love me.
Maybe you didn't...
I swallow the lump in my throat and force the tears back.
Eli, I think I loved you.
Why did we end?
You look at me, broken little Clare, and look away as fast as you can.
You know you broke me.
WHY DON'T YOU HELP ME?
Eli, I need your help.
I need to get over you.
Love.
It broke me forever.
It fucked me up beyond repair.
I'm not giving up hope though.
Love.
.
.
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