Can't be gone, a csi: new york fanfic

I'm not usually a fan of death fics, but I heard this song and it inspired me to write one anyway.

I've never written anything like this before, so please let me know what you think

Disclaimer: Don't own the show, the song, or the characters

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me

The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it wont take away my love
And when the last one falls
When it's all said and done
It gets hard but it wont take away my love

He sat there with the bottle in his hand, staring blankly into space, oblivious to the tears pouring down his face.

She was gone. She was really gone.

He couldn't believe it. After waiting for so long, he'd finally been happy. Until someone had decided to take it all away from him. He leaned forwards before hurling the bottle into the nearest wall. As he watched the glass smash, he thought about how his heart had been shattered. Everything he knew, everything he loved had been taken away from him.

He could still picture her, picture her smile, picture her as she slept. She couldn't be gone.

He tried to stand, but his knees couldn't support him so he collapsed into a heap on the floor, finally realising he was crying but not caring. He sobbed pitifully, hitting the floor with his clenched fist, trying to release his grief into a form he could cope with.

Nothing could have ever prepared him for this pain.

He could remember clearly the moment he'd found out. He'd been on call, and had answered his phone, annoyed at Mac for ruining his day off. Then Mac told him what had happened. He'd run to the hospital, ignoring the rain, just trying to get there before it was too late. He'd skidded through the corridors, until he found Mac and the others. Wordlessly he'd been pointed into one of the rooms, where he'd seen her. Lying there in the hospital bed, her presence diminished, tubes all over the place. And nothing was helping. With every passing moment, she was slipping away, into a place from which she'd never return.

She'd heard him come in, and had opened her eyes. He could see the pain and the fear in her eyes, and it ripped his heart to pieces to know that nothing he could do would be able to fix this. He started crying, unable to contemplate his life without her. He'd begged her not to leave, to keep fighting, but he knew that ultimately, she couldn't fight anymore.

He'd watched as a ghost of a smile crossed her face, had heard her last words of "I love you." He'd uttered exactly the same words back to her, hoping that they'd give her the strength to fight. But as he watched, the light died in her chocolate brown eyes and her chest ceased to move. Then came the dreaded sound of the heart monitor.

He'd tried to wake her, had shook her shoulder, crying out her name with increasing volume as she failed to respond. He'd started yelling, yelling her to come back, not to leave him behind. He'd heard the team enter the room and had felt Flack tried to pull him away from her lifeless body. He'd fought back, not ready to leave her yet, but seeing the looks on the others faces, the tears and the quiet sobs from Stella, he knew that it was over. She was truly gone. And she'd left him, even when she'd promised him she never would.

Feeling his heart break, he'd bolted, tears dripping from his cheeks, ignoring the calls for him to come back. He'd left the hospital, had run through the rain, desperate to get away, to drown out his pain. He hadn't known where he was going, and he hadn't cared. He didn't care about anything now that she'd gone, had thought that there was nothing left to live for.

He'd contemplated just ending it there and then, but it would have been an insult to her, for him to take away his own life when she'd been fighting to keep hers. He'd just kept running.

He'd found himself outside her apartment. Using her key, he'd gone inside, trying to feel close to her even though she was gone. The pain was tearing him to pieces. He'd fallen on to her couch, and found the pillow she'd loved so desperately. Clutching it to him, he cried harder, harder than before, his sobs becoming louder and more heartbreaking. He'd felt his emotions whirl inside of him and build up to the point where it caused him physical pain. He'd thrown the cushion against the wall before he started yelling.

"Why did you leave me? I love you, why did you leave me?" His voice broke, and he almost choked on the bile that rose in his throat. Rushing to the bathroom, he dry wretched, still sobbing.

As he lay there, a thousand memories of her came to his mind. Them arguing about the Batmobile vs. Mach 5; the first time they'd ever met; the night on the pool table; being in the courthouse in Montana; carrying out reconstructions with a slingshot. Every memory hurt him to recall, they all contained her.

Picking himself up, he left the bathroom and wandered back aimlessly through her apartment. On top of the mantel place, he found the photo of them, the one she'd loved best. Her laughing, he himself smirking whilst sneaking a sideways glance at her. His knees gave out once more, landing on the cushion he'd thrown earlier.

"Why did you leave me? I can't do this without you Montana, I can't live without you. I need you. Who is gonna keep me in my place, who's gonna tease me? Who's gonna give me a reason to come home at night? I was nothing until I met you. You can't be gone. Please come back. I love you. Please come back, I need you here with me. Don't leave me here alone. Don't leave me." His voice broke once more.

He curled up into a ball on the floor, holding the picture against his chest, inhaling her scent from the cushion near his head, tears still flowing. He sobbed until he had no more tears to cry, and still he continued.

He stayed that way until Flack found him the next morning. Flack's heart broke even more - he'd lost one of my best friends, and now he was in the processing of losing another. Danny couldn't live without Lindsay. That much was clear. Flack sat down on the floor, and Danny sat up from his position one the floor, still holding the photo and the cushion. Both men had bloodshot eyes and tears stained cheeks, but Danny looked as if he had nothing in him anymore.

Flack pulled his best friend into a hug, tears running down his own cheeks once more as he held the remains of his friend.

"She's gone Flack. She's really gone." Danny sobbed into his chest, sounding like a child who had lost his way, the tough front he put up in front of others nowhere in site. "She's gone and she's never coming back."

"I know. I know." Flack couldn't say anything else. Danny was beyond consoling. His heart had been broken one too many times.

And the one person who could fix it was gone.

Was that any good? Comments are appreciated :)