Okay, I'm super excited about this one. It's an Omegle rp I got into with avidityfire, and it has grown into something intense. Seriously, angsty fluff (fluffy angst? Smutty angsty fluff?) everywhere. If I could marry this rp, I probably would. It's fantastic. We're still in the middle of it, so I'll probably update every week, so there's enough time not to have giant gaps between updates. Since this is being published on Thursdays, we'll just go with that.

M for some super hot sex later on. Super hot. I was like damn.

I'm Sherlock, and avidityfire is my amazing, fantastic John.

I'm sorry about that stag night last night. -SH

Nah, it wasn't so bad. -JW

It was awful. -SH

That bit about waking up in jail? Yeah, maybe. I was actually quite enjoying it up until that point. At least, I think. It's all a bit fuzzy. -JW

Everything just completely fell apart. -SH

I had it all planned. -SH

We weren't even meant to get that drunk. I must have made a miscalculation somewhere. Or perhaps Molly did. -SH

Sherlock, you can't really plan stuff like that, you know? The whole point is to sort of, let loose. -JW

And hold on, Molly? -JW

I measured out our ideal alcohol consumption, and what our estimated reactions would be. That's what the granulated cylinders were for. -SH

I have everything planned, down to the loo breaks, so we wouldn't be so heavily intoxicated. -SH

But, as I said, I must have made a miscalculation somewhere. -SH

Actually, that may have been my fault. I took a shot at one of the pubs, when you weren't looking. Got another, but didn't really feel the effects of that one, so you might have gotten mine by accident. -JW

Oh for God's sakes. -SH

No wonder my intoxication was so potent. -SH

Yeah, almost got yourself beat at one point. You can be quite obnoxious when you're drunk. -JW

I'm always obnoxious. -SH

True. But a bit more-so, I'd say. -JW

Brilliant. So I'm a terrible best man and an obnoxious drunk. -SH

Hey, hey, hey, stop that. You're the best best man that ever... manned. No seriously, I wouldn't have it any other way. -JW

[delayed] I googled Madonna, by the way. -SH

Okay, so I can finally get my question answered. Was she pretty? -JW

Not as pretty as you, John. -SH

Wow, I really don't know what to say to that. Thanks? -JW

So you agree? You think you're really pretty? -SH

Somehow I think you've been watching more telly than you let on. And sure. Why not. I'm incredibly pretty. -JW

I've been dying to use that reference. Could never find the right moment. -SH

Glad to have helped you out. Priceless. -JW

Why did you put my name on my forehead? You were meant to choose someone random, weren't you? -SH

I don't know, I mean you were there, and it just seemed like a good opportunity. And you couldn't even deduce yourself. You thought I was talking about me. -JW

I also thought you were talking about the King of England, so... -SH

Clearly I don't function well under intoxication. -SH

Hah. True. I'm still laughing about that. -JW

Who is the King of England, incidentally? I've not heard about him in ages. -SH

Sherlock, that would be because we don't have a King. And I thought your knowledge of the solar system was bad. -JW

No, I'm sure of this one. I have definitely heard of a King of England. -SH

King... Henry, was it? -SH

Yeah, maybe, some odd five hundred years ago. We have a Queen Sherlock, and it isn't Mycroft. -JW

Isn't it? Pity. -SH

I know. Sorry to disappoint you. -JW

Man, I'm starved but I can't bring myself to look at anything. Are you feeling as bad? -JW

Worse. You drink more often than I do. You've acclimated more. -SH

Christ, you must be in agony. Mrs. Hudson around? -JW

Out shopping with Mrs. Turner, thank goodness. I don't know if I could tolerate her fussing at the moment. -SH

I hear you, Mary's out right now, she picked up an early shift down at the surgery. She was very amused when I came in this morning. -JW

[delayed] You two are going to he very happy together. I'm glad. You deserve it. -SH

Sherlock, I need you to know that this isn't going to change things. I'll still be around, all the same. -JW

Right. -SH

Kinda wish I was still a bit drunk right now, to be completely honest. Nerves have been eating at me like mad. Just, wedding nerves, I guess. That kinda thing's normal, isn't it? -JW

I suppose. Wouldn't really know. -SH

What are you nervous about? -SH

You know, I've always wanted to get married someday, have a family, all that. But, in these past few years, that just went a bit towards the back of my mind, wasn't a priority. Just didn't feel like an immediate need. And now, I'm getting married, and it just feels... odd? Just really foreign somehow. -JW

I'm sure it's just... stress. Or something. -SH

As I said, you're going to be very happy. -SH

[delayed] I want to say something. But if I do, I don't think I'll be able to shut myself up, and things are far too complicated right now for any of that anyway. -JW

What is it? -SH

I've forgiven you for what you did. It wasn't okay, but you did what you felt you needed to, I suppose. But however much I tell myself it's okay, there's still a part of me that's really angry with you, Sherlock Holmes. -JW

[delayed] Oh. -SH

I'm... -SH

I'm sorry, I... -SH

I spent so much time just trying to get over it. I moved on, and Mary came into my life. And I love her, Sherlock, I do, but I feel that this... marriage and all. It just wouldn't have happened if I knew you were alive. -JW

But... It is happening. And I'm not going to interfere, not like I did with your dates. I promise. -SH

I can see how happy you are with her. I don't want to spoil it. -SH

In a few days, I'm supposed to be up at that altar. And there's something very wrong with knowing that I wouldn't be standing there if things had turned out different. -JW

I don't understand. You will be standing up there. Nothing is going to go wrong. You can't obsess over what ifs. -SH

Yes, if I had still been alive, you and Mary probably wouldn't have gotten to this point. Because I am a destructive hurricane. I understand that. -SH

With that perspective, perhaps my death was for the best. -SH

Christ, I can't believe you just said that. If all you do is destroy, what the fuck does that make me? I'm supposed to be just caught up in all that? You forget that I stick around by choice. You were and always will be, my first choice. Can you really not see that? Even with last night, do you really not see it? -JW

[delayed] I still don't understand. What are you talking about? -SH

I'm a very screwed up man Sherlock. I'm getting married, and I wouldn't be doing it, if I knew that you were the one that wanted me. And I am so sorry to bring this up now, and I don't like talking about stuff, not this, not anything, but I'm feeling a bit at the end of my rope. You think you're so damn toxic, you're not, Sherlock. I just, I don't even know. I guess I'm angry, because had things turned out different, regardless of what you felt or not, I'd still be right there if you wanted me to. I'd follow you to the ends of the earth if I could. I'm sorry, you can delete this, it doesn't really matter. -JW

If I wanted you? -SH

You... You want me to want you? -SH

It's ridiculous, I know. -JW

I don't even know what I'm saying. -JW

No, it's... -SH

So... Are you saying you have... feelings? For me? -SH

Yeah. For quite some time now. -JW

Oh. -SH

Right. And that's where we leave it I guess. Guess I just wanted you to know. -JW

No. -SH

I don't want to leave it. -SH

Sherlock, please, I'm humiliated enough as it is. -JW

Don't. -SH

Don't be humiliated. -SH

I just... I need to... -SH

Need to what? If it's space you need, that's fine. I can see about getting maybe Greg to say something at the wedding instead. -JW

Right. The wedding. -SH

But you just said... -SH

Look, I'm sorry. Okay, last thing I wanted to do was spring this on you. And it's okay, it's okay, that it's not reciprocated. Sherlock, I somehow survived you dying, I can survive this too. I'm an adult. Like I said, I needed you to know. So I can have some sort of closure here. -JW

I never said it wasn't reciprocated. -SH

First rule of deduction... Assumptions are dangerous. -SH

So that means... -JW

Yes, I... -SH

I love you. I don't know if you were implying a sentiment quite so deep, but I do. I'm in love with you. Deeply. Desperately. I have been for so long, you've no idea. -SH

Well shit. -JW

I wasn't expecting that. Hoping, God yes, but I didn't actually think... Sherlock, it's always been you for me. That's it, just you. It's always been you. -JW

[delayed] Well. -SH

Not completely, it seems. -SH

Don't. If you hadn't thrown yourself off a building, I wouldn't have been in mourning and Mary wouldn't have swooped in, so you don't get to play that card. Christ, what timing. -JW

I wasn't blaming you, or playing any card. I was merely stating a fact. -SH

You're getting married. That's an unavoidable fact. -SH

Yeah well, in light of recent events, I think it's safe to say I'm not really in the best mindset. I can't really make any decisions right now, let alone have a wedding. -JW

John, you should marry her. -SH

Should I. -JW

She's good for you. Normal. You can have a nice, normal life with a wife and children and a home in the country to retire to. -SH

Leaving her would only hurt the both of you, and you can be very happy with her. -SH

I can't possibly compare to that life, nor could I ever ask you to give all that up for a life with me. -SH

You're right. You are incredibly logical, always have been. But what is it that you always say? "You see, but do not... what, observe?" Would I like all that? Sure. But the one thing that Mary can't give me, is you. And I pledged my allegiance years ago Sherlock, and that's not faltering. You are where I'm supposed to be. I won't ever feel right otherwise. -JW

Being with her won't cause you to lose me. I will always be here for you. -SH

No matter what. -SH

It'd be so wrong Sherlock. -JW

I am dangerous, John. -SH

I'm not good for people. -SH

That's never stopped me before. Dangerous? Maybe a bit, but you breathe life into my mundane existence. And to even think about me having to sit and pretend that this never happened, that we never had this conversation, do you know how difficult that would be? How could I possibly... I don't want to get married. I can't, not now, not like this. -JW

John, please... -SH

Don't make any rash decisions. You're... You're hungover and emotionally raw from the upcoming wedding. This... You're not thinking clearly. -SH

[delayed] When we met, did you ever think things would turn out like this? You ruined me once, and here I am just letting you do it again. Let me ask you something. If this wasn't about me, about what's best for me, for Mary, what would you want? -JW

Irrelevant. -SH

No. -JW

No, it's not irrelevant. It's actually incredibly relevant, because I need to fucking know. -JW

[delayed] I would want you. I do want you. -SH

Okay. So, just think for a minute what it feels like over on my end. I want you too. God, more than anything, and it's like you're guarded, you're trying to push me off into something you think I want, something you think could make me happy. Mary brought me out of a very dark place, yes, but when you came back, every damn feeling I've ever had, God, every damn feeling resurfaced tenfold, and I'll... I'll never be able to give Mary what you already have. What you've always had. -JW

Which is what, exactly? -SH

All of me, Sherlock. I'll never be okay being that person with someone else. It seems ridiculous to me now that I thought I could go through with this. -JW

John... -SH

This is all so wrong. So wrong. -JW

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. -SH

What do I do? Sherlock, I need you to tell me what to do. -JW

I... I don't know. -SH

I'm not... This isn't my area of expertise. -SH

I've never even been in a relationship before. -SH

I should talk to Mary. She has the right to know. -JW

Are you sure about this? -SH

You can't take it back once you've told her. -SH

I can't play pretend either. I'm not a very good liar Sherlock, never have been. It's not fair to her. She shouldn't be marrying half a person. She deserves so much better. -JW

There's no one better than you, John. -SH

Please don't do that, Sherlock. Please don't. I don't know what kind of man I am right now. -JW

You are a kind man. A patient, loyal, wonderful man. Flawed and scarred and dark. My best friend. The best man I have ever known. -SH

I'm in love with you. Christ, so in love with you. But maybe I am being rash... Nah, it's just crap to know what you really want, and have the world turn to shit right in front of you. -JW

I don't want to be the cause of any pain for you. -SH

Sherlock, whether you want to or not, it's a little late for that. -JW

I can't help what I feel, if I could I'd shut it down, do as you say, go the logical route. But I can't. Sherlock, please, understand. I can't. -JW

I'm so sorry for... God. For everything. -SH

What are you doing right now? I need to see you. I feel like I need to see you. -JW

I'm at the flat. -SH

Are you sure it's wise? -SH

No. It's a terrible, dangerous idea. But if we're going to act on anything, it sure as hell isn't going to be during the wedding. I need this, I just need you right now. You need to just see, just understand. I can't give all that through text. -JW

[delayed] Yes. Okay. -SH

Phew, okay. Give me a few minutes. I'll be there in a bit. -JW