Disclaimer: Teen Titans isn't mine

Happy birthday Robin

"Speech"

Thoughts

It wasn't often that he returned to Gotham, but today was a special day and besides, he had to admit that he missed seeing Alfred and Bruce from time to time. Unfortunately, it just happened that Bruce had scheduled a dinner party on this special day at one of the night clubs in the city...

He sighed. Well, it wasn't like he could blame the man. After all, his visits were infrequent and never before had he come back on this day, so Bruce had had no reason to believe that he would this time. I guess it isn't that bad though. I used to enjoy these things. Get some good food, maybe dance a bit, and afterwards go out patrolling with Bruce... his mouth twisted into a wry smile. Okay, maybe that part wasn't so fun. Gotham's criminals were generally far more dangerous than the ones found in Jump.

"Is something wrong, Master Richard?"

"Nothing, Alfred. I was just thinking."

The old man turned back to his driving, shaking his head. "Do too much of that and you will turn into Master Bruce."

Richard laughed. "And what's wrong with that?"

"As much as I enjoy his company, I do not think that I could stand having two of him around."

Another chuckle and Richard went back to thinking.

There was one reason in particular why he used to enjoy the parties. Admittedly, he did enjoy the company of pretty girls, whom he did tend to attract with his obviously dashing, handsome good looks - okay, maybe that was a bit of a stretch, but regardless of the reason, he definitely did not mind dancing with them though inevitably he turned them down when they wanted more.

But that was the past. He wasn't quite sure when it had happened, but somewhere along the line, he had stopped going for the whole playboy thing and consciously or unconsciously, had begun to seek a more meaningful relationship with someone. Someone...

Often times, he ignored such emotions altogether - something very Batman-like - he'd have to work on that - especially dealing with Slade, as everyone knew, but then he remembered there was that one time, when he had seen Slade holding Raven atop that tower and he had thought that she looked so forlorn, like she had been abandoned, and then all of his hatred for the man had transformed into something else... something directed at her instead...

He shook his head. If anything, he was supposed to be with Starfire. After all, she was the one who had shown attraction for him, even if it did seem to be rather superficial. Okay yes, she did care for him as a teammate, that much was apparent, but perhaps it was a byproduct of a warrior culture - because he knew that she was not quite as naive as she seemed to be - but she didn't seem to quite get him. Why he could be so obsessive, why he was so dark sometimes, why he could be brooding... no, for her, there was no looking back and no hesitation when she pummeled in an enemy's face, and no obsession about being better than the villains they fought...

God. I'm supposed to be with her. So why am I thinking about all of the flaws in our relationship? I should just be happy with the way things are. Everything's working out fine... right?

... at what point are we just friends and at what point do we become something more?

"Master Richard, master Bruce is waiting for you."

Robin looked up and found Alfred holding the door open for him. Wow. Didn't even realize...

Alfred raised an eyebrow. "The only time master Bruce looks like that is when he is trying to catch the Joker or he is thinking about a woman."

It took a moment for the words to register. And then he turned crimson. "W-what are you implying-"

"You are in love, master Richard."

Robin stuttered out nonsense for a few seconds, still red, and stood walking past Alfred. The old man smiled.

"Is it truly so far-fetched that you cannot accept it?"

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "No, I just think that I might be 'in love' with the wrong person."

"Ah so the alien girl was not suited to you."

Robin turned red again. "H-how did you know about-"

"Master Richard, did you truly think that master Bruce and I would not keep tabs on you while you were away?" He paused, then coughed slightly. "So then who is it? As I recall, there was another girl on your team-"

"I'm going in," Robin muttered, cheeks burning, but then remembered his manners. "Oh yes, and you're always welcome to join us-"

"I still have some work to do at the manor. I shall stop by again when you two are done."

"Thanks Alfred."

The butler smiled again, then got back into the limo and drove off, leaving Richard staring at the building in front of him.

Calling it a night club was not entirely accurate - Batman, in his Bruce Wayne persona, whatever his playboy facade might have been, still was never really seen out of high society, so it was not a surprise when Robin looked around and found that it was fairly well decorated. The doormen, recognizing him as Richard Grayson, foster son of Bruce Wayne, let him in without stopping him and soon he found himself in a large ballroom, where small tables were scattered around, each with two or three seats around them, with waiters moving about in the dim light of the chandeliers above.

He saw Bruce at one of the tables along the side, talking to none other than Selena Kyle - since when had they been together? They made eye contact. Richard raised an eyebrow and the corner of Bruce's mouth tilted up, almost a cocky smirk, as if to ask him why he had not come with a woman as well. Evidently Selena noticed too; she turned slightly, giving him a lusty, but not unfriendly look, and then resumed her conversation with Bruce.

He decided not to go over and get dragged into whatever they might have been talking about... and then get picked apart systematically by that pair of vicious animals. Dealing with one of them alone was bad enough. Both of them together...

Richard found an empty table in the corner and sat, falling back to thinking again.

He stared at the chair in front of him. What if Starfire was sitting there? He looked around, at the dark walls, with all sorts of odd, even somewhat creepy paintings on them, the dim lighting, at all of the well dressed people around him, the quiet conversations barely audible above the background music... she would feel out of place, wouldn't she. Her emotions are too unrestrained. I guess that reflects on how she acts too. Of course it did. She was boisterous and noisy, highly energetic, so it was only natural that she would feel oppressed in this sort of atmosphere, where one had to be very conscious of how he or she appeared to everyone else, and had to be careful not to disturb anyone. Self consciousness... it was good to be confident.

I wish I was that confident. To live without hesitation... but it also means she has a hard time understanding why the rest of us have our doubts. Fucking Bruce, dragging me into the darkness, where you can't even tell the difference between right and wrong. Like that whole Red-X thing... why couldn't I trust my team? Why couldn't I trust me friends?

He frowned. Because I couldn't trust myself. I had to beat him at his own game, to prove that I was better to prove my worth... but none of them could possibly understand that, right? They don't feel the need to prove that they're worth anything. Well, besides Raven.

Raven... being an empath, of course, she already naturally had much more perception of peoples' feelings than any of them, but it had struck him how caring she could be at times, even if it usually wasn't openly so. Like when she had helped Cyborg with his car, or gone to see Beast Boy after that whole Adonis thing, or offered to go to the mall with Starfire, or helped him with his Slade problem... of course she understood things well; she was Raven, after all.

He was pretty sure everyone - well, everyone that knew her, that is - loved that part of her. But she was also witty, yes, a bit rude and sarcastic, but that was what made her fun to talk to, at least to him. And extremely intelligence, probably smarter than he was. Probably even a match for Bruce. Perhaps not stunningly beautiful, not like Starfire was, but anyone who had been in Gotham for an extended period learned to either appreciate the darkness or to move out - and he was one of the ones who had remained. There was a certain quality to her dark, almost restrained features that was very alluring - it cried out to him to explore, and there was also something in them that also cried out for understanding, companionship - for as they knew now, she had been abandoned all her life and still was much of a mystery to most of them. Raven's emotions were not simple, but Richard, having been around Batman for many years, and being who he was, thought that he rather liked the complexity. It left a lot to find out.

But a romantic interest? It almost didn't seem right for him to think of her that way. Sure, they were good friends who helped each other out, but he wasn't sure that Raven even wanted anything to do with romance - hell, he wasn't even sure why he wanted that kind of relationship with someone anyway.

Besides, like I said. I'm supposed to be with Starfire - well, that was the question, was he?

He knew for a fact that she was going out to see some of the other Titans too; Aqualad, Speedy, even indulging in the company of Mas and Menos for a while - all with his blessing - she, of course, did not want to upset him, but both of them could feel their relationship sort of drifting apart, and he was pretty certain that she would not be surprised if he broke it off, and he would not be surprised if she wanted to break it off either. Starfire, after all, was strong and independent. For all her apparent naivete, she often had a good grasp of what others were thinking, even if she did not understand why they thought the way they did. Like him.

Okay. Maybe I am obsessing a little too much over this. I'm pretty independent too. Whatever happens, happens. I'll just go with it. Of course it would be nice if Raven wanted it too, but just friends is fine with me. Probably-

"Is this seat taken?"

He looked up and saw a girl standing nearby, her long, dark hair shadowing her face so it was hard to tell any of her features. He shook his head. "Go right ahead."

"Thanks, Richard."

He froze. "How do you know my name?"

She smiled at him and sat, and he fancied that her black, floor length dress moved about her like a cloak - though that was probably his imagination. Definitely his imagination. Even if it was a high collared dress and she wore some sort of necklace with a large, reddish jewel, there was nothing about it that was so unusual to catch his attention. Probably just thinking too much.

"Of course I know your name. Everyone does. You're Wayne's kid."

He laughed. "Didn't know I was as famous as he was."

She shrugged, then frowned at him across the candle in the center of their table. "Haven't eaten yet?"

He blinked a few times. "Oh. Guess not. Here, I'll call a waiter."

They waited in silence for a few moments as a man came over, and oddly enough, the girl insisted on ordering a large platter of sushi for both of them, a dinner for two like a couple might get, but not two strangers... well, then again, he figured she might have been excited to be dining with him. After all, it was not every day that one got to eat with the son of a billionaire.

He stared at her for a while, unsure of what to say, and the fact that she only stared back made it even more awkward.

She seemed to be very pale; her skin was like ivory in the candle light, contrasting well with the her sleek, dark hair that shrouded her face. From what he could see, she had small, delicate features, but she didn't seem like the standard super thin model-type girl. No, she was too short for that, maybe about 5'4" or 5'5" and it looked like she had a fair amount of muscle, like someone who got a good amount of exercise regularly, and was in shape that way, not like those girls who starved themselves to lose weight.

He saw her lips curve slightly and found himself, for some reason, unable to refrain from smirking as well - there was something about her that seemed so odd, but so very interesting that he could not help but show his amusement.

"So what's your name?"

"Rachel," she replied, her voice low and a little gravelly, but calm and smooth as well.

"Nice to meet you, Rachel."

"Nice to meet you too, Boy Blunder."

He froze again, then looked at her again, a hard glint in his eyes, frowning darkly. "How do you know who I am?" More like, how did you know that nickname? Only Bruce or... the Joker! Or one of those other guys! Did one of them send her to spy on me? Blackmail me?

"Of course I know who you are."

He resisted the urge to slam his fists on the table. "Who sent you? The Joker? Two-Face? What are you up to?"

"Nothing, Boy Wonder. Just dropped in to say hi. Your team sends you greetings," she rummaged with the folds of her dress, evidently looking for a pocket, then pulled out a small, wrapped object, holding it out to him.

His eyes narrowed as he opened it, and upon finding that it was a small, finely detailed sculpture of a robin, glared at her again. "Is this some kind of trap? How do you know who I am? How do you know about the Titans?"

She rolled her eyes behind the shadows of her hair. "You guys are pretty famous, you know. And just wearing a tiny mask over your eyes isn't going to guard your identity. If you want to really hide who you are, you should wear a mask that covers most of your face, like Batman over there," she pointed at Bruce.

Robin gritted his teeth and forced himself to calm down, to analyze the situation carefully. Whoever she is, she knows who Bruce is and who I am. The only people who know that... Ra's? But I thought he said that he was never going to bother us again, after that incident with Jason. Then who else...

She cleared her throat quietly. "It's a gift for your birthday. I... kinda lied when I said it was from your team. Only one of them knows about it and she really wanted to give it to you so I came here-"

He frowned. "Nobody on my team even knows who I am, let alone that it's my birthday..."

God, how slow can he be? The girl rubbed her temples, evidently annoyed. "Listen, Dick, I'm not some random criminal and nobody sent me. I came here by myself. So stop being so suspicious."

The anger drained out of his face and was replaced by confusion - somehow, he knew that she was telling the truth, but then who was she? Rachel sighed and looked him straight in the eye, seemingly trying to communicate mentally with him or something, and oddly enough, he felt a prickling in the back of his mind. Richard's brow furrowed.

"What are you doing?"

She ignored him and continued staring. He met her gaze.

And it was only after another minute or so that he realized that she had violet eyes.

"Raven?"

She leaned back, sighing. "Son of the world's greatest detective my ass."

"Raven!" He exclaimed, standing up abruptly, then realized where he was and sat back own, cheeks burning. "Raven. I - you - what - here?"

"I'll take that as a what are you doing here? Well," and for some reason, she turned red as well, looking away slightly. "Remember when you let me in your head when that whole Slade hallucination thing happened?"

He nodded. "We have a bond because of it. That's why I can sometimes feel your emotions and I suppose you can feel mine."

"Right, well," her voice got quieter. "I kinda... saw everything about your life."

Richard paused, processing the information. "Everything."

She bit her lip. "Yes, everything. Your parents, your life with Batman, all those run ins with the Joker..."

"Everything," he repeated slowly, face blank.

She got up, as if moving to leave. "I'm sorry," she murmured quietly. "For everything that's happened to you and for not telling you that I knew. I - I'll stop bothering you now."

She turned. Richard sat there, as if in some sort of catatonic state. Everything... everything... everything... she knows...

"Wait!" he breathed out.

Raven turned back, a little confused.

"Sit," he said, a little more forcefully than he intended, but she did so, confusion written all over her face. "So you know everything."

He winced a little as he saw the guilt and embarrassment flood into her face. "It was only glimpses. Flashes here and there, but I managed to piece it all together from what I saw. Listen, Richard... I didn't mean to-"

He sat back. "Only Bruce knows that much about me. I wasn't going to tell you guys..."

Raven forced her face to stay blank. I can understand that. He needs his privacy too... "I'm sorry," she said quietly again and paused. "I haven't told anyone else, if that makes you feel any better."

Richard felt as his heart beating unnaturally quickly, though he had no idea why. Was it really such a big deal that Raven, the Raven with so many secrets and so much darkness about her, was it really such a big deal that she knew what he had been through? Was it something wrong to have shared that bit of himself with one of his best friends, even if it had been unknowingly? Obviously it wasn't her fault, she had just been trying to help him...

He blinked as he saw her moving to get up again. "Where are you going?" And he winced again as he felt a wave of terrible anguish - but not his own anguish - tear through him.

"I... well, you'd rather be here with Starfire, right? I can go get her now and have her here in five minutes, well, plus however much time it takes her to dress up-"

He felt the pain in his mind grow with each passing word to the point where it was unbearable, and it must've shown on his face because she suddenly stopped speaking and looked at him worriedly.

"Richard?"

And then he realized one thing. That pain had not been his own - it had been hers.

"You're jealous of her," and as soon as the words slipped out of his mouth, he groaned and put a hand over his face.

Raven froze - he could feel a terrible sense of emptiness emanating from her and the look of pure shock on her face was not helping anything either.

"Wait, Raven. I didn't mean it the way you think I did. Actually, I don't even know how you thought I meant it, but-"

And the fact that she remained deathly silent really did not help.

"Raven, what I mean to say is, well, no, what I, argh-" he took a deep breath. "Raven. Do you... like me?"

He felt as if something stabbed him in the chest when he noticed how close to tears she was.

"You and Starfire are together," her voice shook a little. "I have no right to prevent that-"

"Raven!" He said forcefully again, then gritted his teeth, trying to speak more calmly. "Raven. Maybe you didn't notice, but I don't think we like each other like that any more. We're just... not suited to each other."

He felt a bit of relief as Raven's pain faded from the back of his mind.

"I was wondering why she looked hesitant when I asked her if she wanted to visit you."

"Wasn't she going to go hang out at Titans East with the rest of you guys?"

Raven nodded. Richard looked at her quizzically. "So why didn't you go?"

She turned faintly red. "I thought you would be lonely. It is your birthday, after all, so I thought that you might like some company. And a gift... well, if you can even call that lame thing a gift," she finished rather lamely, but he still smiled at her, looking at the wooden robin.

"I like it."

Raven felt the tension drain out of her body. "That's good. I was afraid that my carving skills wouldn't be up to par and-"

"You made this?"

Raven nodded. "I kinda just remembered a few hours ago and I didn't know what to do so I kinda-"

"Raven, you didn't have to..."

She frowned at him. "Well I wanted to. For my best friend."

They stared at each other again for several minutes. Neither of them moved at all. The waiter from earlier stopped by and put the tray of sushi in front of them with a bowl of soup for each of them, but they kept staring at each other, ignoring the man.

Silence...

"Your eyes are weird," Raven said rather awkwardly.

He could not help but laugh a bit. "Your face is weird," he replied.

She smirked. "At least it's not so ugly that I have to cover it up with a mask."

"I'm not the one who hides in my cloak all day."

"Excuse me? You can't hide in a cloak. And I leave my hood down plenty."

"Well, that's-"

She smiled. "Your eyes are beautiful," she said sincerely. "You shouldn't cover them up."

Robin opened his mouth to retort, but then realizing that she was being serious, stuttered a few times, gave off some sort of odd croaking noise, then shut his mouth. Raven laughed - she actually laughed!

"You sure know how to ruin a moment, Boy Blunder. I thought you were supposed to be smooth."

"Hard to keep your mind around someone you love..." and then he put a hand over his face again when he realized what he had said.

He closed his eyes. It was silent. He could feel her jumble of emotions in his own mind, none of them particularly clear, nothing apparent at all... he tried to focus on something else. The feeling of cold air cooling his warming face. The smell of hot wax from the candle. He fancied that he could hear her slow, even breathing in rhythm with the music. He opened his eyes a sliver.

She was smirking at him again, though it dropped away quickly and she looked at him seriously, leaning in close. And she took his hands into her own, squeezed them a little, and then leaned back again, looking at the plate of sushi and the bowl of soup beside her.

"I'm going to eat before they kick us out."

Richard looked around. Almost everyone else was done eating already and the waiters had moved most of the tables out, leaving the center of the room open. The doors opened and a few more waiters brought in a large table filled with drinks and fruit, refreshments for whoever wanted to dance, and a few minutes later, the music changed to a quick waltz.

He looked back at Raven and found that she had already finished her soup and was dipping a piece of sushi into some soy sauce. She closed her eyes, face blank, but he could sense the amusement from her through their bond and grinned.

They ate quickly, and as the food was finished, he held his hand out to her.

"Care to join me in a dance?"

She smiled. "I'd love to."