Steph wasn't bothered about being forty.
She wasn't.
Honest.
Gosh, Paul, why do you insist on continuing to ask?
Because he wasn't an idiot. And he knew his wife. Very well. Loved the woman to death, in fact, and knew that, while it hadn't hit her just yet, it would. Oh, he knew it would. It had to. Because Stephanie was a very emotional person.
And forty was an emotional birthday.
For women.
He figured.
Had heard.
Still, his wife continued to insist, however, that it was not something that was bothering her, would be bothering her, and could possibly ever bother her.
"Maybe forty-five," she remarked. "That might hit me hard. And, oh, on fifty? You're gonna have to, like, be super supportive then."
"Right. Fifty," he'd say whenever she'd mention this. "What is that? September of 2026? Yeah, I plan on being out of the country then, so-"
"Paul."
Regardless of what she said though, he was prepping for the worst. Even the days leading up to the big day, Paul kind of put himself on his best behavior. He never purposely argued with the woman to begin with, but any time he felt one springing up during that point, in annoyance over whatever little thing she'd done, he ate it back down. Swallowed it up. Kept it in for another time. When she didn't have forty years looming over head.
Unfortunately, however, Paul wasn't the only man in Steph's life. There were two very big ones that had been there far longer.
And one, unfortunately, thought up some things he'd find hilarious to do to her at her big birthday party.
"Dad," Shane groaned more than once, hearing all of the man's gags to pull on his aging daughter. "That's really not all that funny."
"What? Yes. Of course it is," Vince would gripe right back. "Steph would think it would be super funny to-"
"No, Dad, she really wouldn't. She might pretend to, but she wouldn't."
"You all are such babies."
Vince's schemes only grew, of course, when he found himself tearing a quad (foolishly) doing some squats a couple of weeks before Steph's birthday. Sidelined by this (at least somewhat) he found a lot of time to think of ways to ruin his daughter's night.
"Honestly, Paul," he said into the phone one day when they were supposed to be talking about RAW, but in his annoying way, Vince managed to swing the conversation back that way, "what's funnier than menopause jokes?"
"Try anything and absolutely everything else."
"I've actually looked up a few things to bring up. You know, when I make my big speech."
"Speech? What's this now?"
"I'll give a big toast!"
"Vince-"
"It'll be great."
"The kids will be there."
"It'll be kid friendly."
"You're not even kid friendly."
"Maybe you're forgetting that I've been PG now for over a decade."
"Okay, well, I'm at the office right now, Pop, so if you don't have anything useful to tell me-"
"Did you know that VHS was released in '76? To try and beat out Betamax?"
"I don't even know what Betamax is anymore, because it's the freaking 21st century, Vince, so-"
"Hold on." There was the rustling of papers. "I have more."
Sinking lower in his desk chair, Paul grumbled, "Great."
"The film of the year was Rocky."
"So we're really doing this."
"ABBA was popular. Remember them?"
"I really don't know why you're asking, since you'll continue on anyways."
"The Enterprise, that first space shuttle? Yeah, that was that year."
"More useless info."
"The going rate for rent that year was $220 a month."
"You're just motoring right on through."
"The average income for an American household was $16,000 a year."
"Wasn't that also the year you filed for bankruptcy?"
"And- Hey, you listen here, without that happening, I wouldn't have made that nice little fortune you're sitting on, pal." Vince could go from joyous to grumpy in no time flat. "So-"
"Great." Paul was just as displeased. He was all for a good joke, and on any other year, fine. Ham it up. But just not forty. He was imagining forty to be a nightmare. "Got that all out of your system?"
"Huh?' Vince was annoyed more with him then, over his bankruptcy comment, and got throw off track. More rustling of papers. "Wait! Let me see here-"
"Alright. Good."
"Inkjet printers-"
"Call Shane with the rest."
Then he hung up on the man and put his phone on silent for the inevitable call back.
It was a rather long day, in Vince related world.
But it wasn't like those were the only things they could focus on. Smackdown just finished a PPV and Clash of Champions would be taking place the day following her birthday, so there was actually a lot to deal with at work. And with Vince (partially) out of the picture, Paul and Steph were dealing with more. That wasn't even tying in NXT or the conclusion of CWC.
Or their home life, where their girls had all started school and were still adjusting to that, which was just as hectic as it always was. It left little room for him to fret over a birthday that she claimed she was fine with ("Gosh, Paul, why keep asking"), so other than trying many times to get Vince to let it pass as any other birthday and not at all like a milestone, he mostly ignored it.
Not that he didn't get her a great gift.
He always got her great gifts.
And took all three girls out to pick a gift of their own (err, well, he took them out once, got a bunch of indecision on two of their parts, and had their nanny take them back later to come to a consensus).
Plus, he was kind of sort of pumped for her birthday in a different way. Though her birthday was on a Saturday, they'd be having her a nice party on Friday with some friends and, then, afterwards, were taking the girls up to their lake house for the evening and most of Saturday before he and Steph took off for Clash of Champions the following day.
He liked the lake house a lot. For a lot of reasons, of course. It was nice to get away, always, and the girls always had fun. Especially in the summer when they could get in the water.
Mostly though, he kind of was just looking forward to getting her alone in the lake house at some point. Send the girls off with someone to go look at the water or chase their new puppy around the property (they loved chasing him and Andre loved to be chased) and then get at his wife for a bit.
Birthday sex was great sex.
Another reason to keep her from freaking out over forty.
Steph was still all excited about forty on Thursday. Paul was busy with NXT, of course, but did get home in time for their usual late night workouts and, ugh, it was all she was buzzing about. Forty. She's forty. And still working out. Look at her.
Paul liked bragging on his chick, a lot, but not when she was bragging on herself too.
Then again...what if she was doing it because he hadn't been bragging on her enough recently?
Hmmm.
"Mmmm," Steph giggled late Thursday night, after their workout, as they laid in bed. "I love it when you smell nice."
Paul, lying there on his back with his arms folded under his head, turned it to the side to sniff at his armpit. "Me too."
Grinning at him as she laid on her side, curled towards the man, she said, "Did you get me something nice? For my birthday?"
"Is that tomorrow?"
"No. The next day."
"Oh. Phew." He shut his eyes with his own smile. "Still got time."
"You may smell nice, but you're not funny."
"Never really knew those to coincide anyhow."
"Just things that attract me to you. And you're failing at the big one."
"Making you laugh is the biggest attraction?"
"Mmmhmm."
"Well, shit, Steph," he said with a forced frown. "You tellin' me that a comedian could just have strolled in at any time, snatched you up, and it'd be him that got to plop out half McMahon kids to get at that fortune?"
Scrunching up her face, she said, "You just said a lot, right there, but I think the idea of me just...plopping out the girls was the most bothersome."
"You should be focused on your poor husband, thinking that you're only with him because of his great comedic skills."
"As oppose to your dashing good looks?"
"I'd rather that," he said with a nod. "I mean, at least then I can control if you fall out of love with me. Just gotta stay hot. This comedy thing though, if I just lose that, it won't be easy to get back."
"It's a good thing that you smell so nice after showers then."
"Oh?"
Nodding, she shifted again, so her back was to him. "Just kind of funny mixed with a great smell is enough. For now."
"Borrowed time then?"
"Isn't all of it?"
Paul took a breath or two in near silence before whispering, "Hey, Steph?"
"Hmmm?"
"You're gonna, like, be the hottest forty year old ever."
"I still got one more day of thirty-nine to enjoy, babe. One with a party that will remind me the entire time that it is, literally every second, that it's ending. So don't start now, huh?"
"Thought you aren't afraid of forty?"
"I'm not." She made a face over her shoulder at him. 'I'm not gonna, like, suddenly turn into a troll overnight."
"Actually...that'd be pretty cool. Noteworthy, at least."
"You're so stupid."
"Like that story from when we were kids."
"We were kids at very different times, Mr. Over Forty, so I'm sure I don't know what your-"
"That King Arthur bull." Paul shifted onto his side to stare over at her. "One of his knights, like, raped a woman or something-"
"Yeah, I definitely didn't read anything like that."
"-and somehow got punished or something and ended up going around the world, right? Doing...something."
"You're memory fading from you?"
"Anyways, to get done what he needs, he has to make a deal with this old, nasty lady."
"I'm not liking the direction of this story."
"So he agrees and she gets done whatever it is that gets him off from the rape charges or whatever."
"Or whatever."
"But then she announces her deal, get this, in front of everyone, and it's that he has to marry her!" Paul was trying to sound excited and pumped, but it came off as forced, given how exhausted they both truly were. "Which is gross, right?"
"Still not enjoying this."
"So when they go to consume it or-"
"Cons… Consummate?"
"That's what I said."
"It is not. You're tired. Just go to sleep. This is a dumb story."
"Consummate. They go to consummate their marriage back at his place, right? And he's all turned off, right, because she's old."
"I'm waiting for the punch line."
"She tells him that she can either be super attractive, right? For him? Through magic? And young and shit? Or she can stay old and a hag and will always be faithful."
They'd gotten that far so, through a yawn and glance over her shoulder, Stephanie asked, "What did he choose?"
"Um..."
"You did not just tell me that whole damn story-"
"Let me think! Uh..."
"Paul-"
"Give me a sec." He was moving then, to reach for his dresser, where he grabbed his cellphone. "We'll get to the bottom of this."
"Wake me when you do."
"Just give me a second, alright? Sheesh."
A few furious clicks on his phone later and they had their answer.
"He lets her choose," he told his wife who was trying hard to already be asleep, so they could just end the thing finally, but did manage to hear that. "So she chooses to be beautiful."
"And cheat on him?"
"Um...Nope. Beautiful and faithful."
"That's stupid."
"Hey! That's one of...some country...maybe ours...nope." He was still glancing around on his phone. "The point is that it's some great literary work, Steph."
"Just because it's old doesn't make it great."
"Tell that to Vince."
Rolling over to face him again, finally, she just stared up at him as he sat with his back to the headboard, glancing over whatever site he'd gotten the info from. "I mean, what's the moral in that?"
"I don't know. It's a super old story. I guess that you should be attractive and faithful."
"Even though she flat out told him she couldn't be? And why be an old woman if she could have been young and vital forever?"
"To teach him a lesson."
"How was it a lesson? He raped someone and got a super hot wife. That's-"
"Steph, I am not in school. I don't want to have some big moral discussion on this."
"You're the one that brought it up."
"I did not. You started talking about turning into a troll-"
"That's not what happened in the story that you just wasted my time by telling me."
"It happened in reverse."
"Paul-"
"I didn't remember what the stupid thing was about." He turned off the screen of his phone then, leaving them in darkness once more. Shifting to set it back on the nightstand, he said, "I honestly though he chose the old, faithful woman."
"And?" she prompted, trying to force him to go on.
With a bit of a frown, he shrugged and said, "I dunno. Just figured you might like that idea."
"Because you think I'm old."
"No! I-"
"You know, you're the only one that keeps acting negatively about this," she told him as she shifted once more, though it was to lie on her stomach that time, arms folded above her head. "And I'm being all positive. What else is new?"
"That story was positive."
"It was chauvinistic."
"It was lovely."
"You're so full of it."
"I just wanted us to have a nice moment," he griped, hunkering down further under the sheets of the bed. "Make you feel better."
"I keep telling you, Paul, that I feel fine about being forty. It's you that clearly has the problem."
"Me?"
"You."
"How-"
"I don't know, Paul." Her eyes were so heavy on him that he had to look back at her. "Do you have a problem with me being forty?"
"What?"
"Do you?"
"You're stupid."
"Excuse me?"
"Are we really about to fight about this?" That time, he gave her his back. "No, Steph, I don't care about how old you are. I mean, shit, no matter how old you get, you're always gonna be younger than me." Then he paused, as if thoughtful (which was odd, considering they were having a tense moment; or at least she was), before saying, "I mean, unless I die and you live on without me, but-"
"Paul-"
"I just wanted to tell you a story. That was all."
Letting out slight breath, Steph whispered, "Well...it wasn't a very good one, you have to admit."
"It was okay." His eyes were heavy and he shut them, but still whispered, "I know other ones."
"About...aging?"
"About King Arthur."
"Do you think that I'm the girls or something?"
"Or something."
"You're such a dad now."
"I got some princess ones too if you-"
"No, I'm good. With...King Arthur."
"Admittedly, it's been a bit, since I heard some of these, but, I mean, I definitely remember the one about the sword. Ex...something. And that one about how the knight's bonin' the king's wife. The one where the other knight is bonin' another king's wife."
"I see you retained all the important things from high school."
"Oh. And that one where they're looking for the grail or whatever and that killer rabbit-"
"Babe, you're talking about Monty Python."
"...I think I'm sleep deprived."
"I think," she yawned as she shifted closer to him, onto his side of the bed, so that she could cuddle against his back, "that you're just trying to make me laugh."
"Is it working?"
"No." His bare back got a kiss. "But you still smell good."
"Mmmm."
"Just...let's go to sleep, okay?" One of her hands fell over his waist and his moved to lay over it. "I'm seriously not worried about being...old or whatever. Because I'm not. I'm, like, in the best shape of my life."
"Hell yeah you are."
"And I feel good."
"Mmmhmm."
"And I have a husband who still smells nice."
"And is also smoking hot. Right? Steph? Right? I know you're not sleeping, woman."
His back got a softer kiss. "I love you."
Grinning himself, he whispered, "I love you too."
The next morning, of course, they both had work, but first they had to get the girls all ready for school. It wasn't easy, given that not only were they pumped for Steph's party afterwards, but also from the fact that they knew once that was all finished up, they were going to get to go to the lake house.
And they loved the lake house.
"I don't like school," his youngest told Paul as he stood in the bathroom, being sure she brushed her teeth (if he didn't do this, recently, she'd 'accidentally' forget). "Daddy."
"Of course you do."
"No." She even shook her head as she slowly and methodically (though it was more for buying time than anything else) squeezed some toothpaste onto its brush. "I wanna quit."
"You can't quit. You've hardly even started!"
"Pop says that when I get older, I can work with him."
"Gosh, I hope he's still not working when you're older." Paul made a face. "Even a year older."
"I should just start now."
"No, Vaughn. You should brush your teeth is what you should do. Which, by the way, you'd be doing whether you were going to school or not."
Sigh. Life was so hard.
The other two were much easier to get all ready though, given that they wanted to do absoutely nothing that could be construed as wrong and therefore nullify their chance at having that great Saturday at the lake. Much less the birthday cake and ice cream that they figured they'd have by the tons since it was their mother's birthday.
Steph and Paul were too beat to be anything other than tired though. He figured with her technical birthday not until the following day, he could get away with not being super lovey dovey because he just couldn't do it as he was struggling through not face-planting into his breakfast.
Not that his wife was doing much better. Even poor Andre, their new dog, didn't get any special attention that morning as Steph wasn't even the one to take him out to the bathroom. She made Aurora do it as she stared miserably at the coffee pot, waiting for it to finish brewing.
"Why do we have to have a party?" Steph grumbled to him after they'd dropped the girls off at school and were heading into work. "Why can't we just get the girls form school and head to the lake house? And then crash for, oh, until Clash on Sunday?"
"Because it's my woman's birthday and we celebrate shit like that." Tapping his thumbs against the steering wheel, Paul glanced over at her. "And I wasn't going to mention this, because I thought I could put a stop to it, but-"
"Dad's little speech jokes?" She rolled her eyes. "Yeah, Shane text me. All the time he has on his hands, I guess I should be glad that Vince is only going to make some, what I expect with be horribly crass, jokes about my age."
"Oh, they are. He promised to be kid friendly, but-"
"He's not even kid friendly."
"That's what I said."
"Mmmm." Her phone was buzzing then and, moving to pull it out of her purse, Steph said, "All I have to do is get through the next few hours and then I'll be in our bed at the lake house and have a good night's rest."
"If you can sleep through me fucking you the second that clock turns midnight."
"Um..."
"You know, to celebrate."
"No, I got what you were saying," she said through a giggle that she tried to fight because she was too tired for such silliness. Swear. She honestly was. "It was just kind of dumb."
"Good way to start off a new decade of life, I figure."
"Having sex? Or specifically having sex with you?"
"I mean, sex in general, but if you can have it with the man with the world's largest penis-"
"If I'm getting these sorts of throwbacks for my birthday, I can't wait for our anniversary."
"Oh, we're having some mind blowing sex then too."
"Don't we always?"
"I mean, on my end I always find it to be, but-"
"When I'm getting to be with the man with the world's-" She stopped with a groan as her phone did more than alert of her a text then and actually rang. To him before she answered it, she said, "And I better be the only one getting the option to ring in a birthday with the man with the world's largest-"
"Oh, believe me, baby, you are." He gave her a cheesy grin as she put the phone to her ear and set her frequency to work and away from him. Before they even got to the office. "The only one that could handle it."
With Clash of Champions on Sunday, there was much to be done in the realms of WWE Headquarters. A lot of tedious things. Paul hardly saw his wife, but then, he hardly saw her regardless.
He did, however, cut her assistant off when he saw the woman bringing Steph's lunch to her office and did it himself.
"I figured," he said as he came came to set the container on her desk while Steph only had that goofy smile, just from the sight of him, "that we should have your birthday lunch together."
"Considering my birthday lunch is tomorrow," Steph retorted as he sat down in the chair in front of her desk, "and you and your dad are grilling the girls hot dogs-"
"And hamburgers."
"-I really don't see what this one matters. At all."
"Because this one is just me and you."
"You don't have any food."
"I ate one of my tiny, interval meals at eleven." Paul gestured to her lunch as she still studied him, as if a bit suspicious. "Go ahead and eat. I just wanna sit around and be with you for a bit. I have a feeling we won't get much alone time after this."
"When do we?"
"Just wait till midnight."
"See, you're building this all up and I have a very good inkling that you're definitely going to be passed out by ten."
"Bah." He shook his head. "We'll just be arriving after your stellar party at the lake house at ten."
"So you won't be asleep?"
"Nope." He shook his head before giving her a grin. "I'll be conked out by eleven though."
"At the latest."
Steph's party was going to be at Vince's house, where the man was spending a lot of time recuperating from his injury and a lot more time finding ways to annoy his children.
He had, however, thought up some fun things for his grandchildren.
Which, admittedly, wasn't hard. Other than each of Steph and Shane's oldest children, the other four were rather simple to entertain.
That day, he did it with party favors.
"What'd you do, Dad?" Shane complained more than once as the children more than annoyed most everyone with the kazoos and noisemakers the man had given them. "Hit up a party store?"
"Well, they can't drink," he grumbled around a beer that, actually, he wasn't supposed to be having either (he was on some meds for his quad pain). "They have to have something fun to do."
"And you couldn't have thought of something a bit less obnoxious?"
"Obnoxious?" Vince beamed over at where Murphy and Kenny were chasing poor Andre (who of course got an invite to his own mother's party) around the yard as they blew their kazoos at him, narrowly missing adults on more than one occasion. "I think they're great."
"The kids or the noises?"
"Do what now?"
But it was useless to speak to the man anyways, as there was only one thing that Vince was interested in. And that, simply, was to embarrass the hell out of Stephanie.
Or at least make her regret the same thing he held against most women in his company; aging.
But in a loving way.
Of course.
"If he says anything too bad," Paul mumbled in Steph's ear at one point, "I'll slug him. If you want."
"I think people will accuse you of just doing it to keep him out of the office even more," his wife replied. "So you can take over more."
"Wouldn't even be the worst thing I did to do that." Then he grinned at her. "That they accused me of, I mean."
"Mmmhmm."
But Steph was so tired that she didn't care what Vince said. At all. He was basically just trying to steal any attention she'd get for her birthday and put it on him anyways, she figured, like usual, and that was actually pretty welcomed.
"I can't wait to get to that damn lake house," she told her husband at least five times and though he could tell his girls, at least, were having a great time, he kind of agreed.
He liked his birthday much better. When they didn't have a big party and had just gone to the lake house in the first place. It was just the family and it was fun and it was simple.
And he wasn't nearly as tired.
"It was before we had you though, buddy," he told Andre when they dog found him at one point, during the party, bringing his daddy one of the tennis balls the kids had been throwing him. "So I guess it couldn't have been too great."
Steph sat with Paul, on the patio, when Vince finally decided to regal them all with his looked up (stolen) jokes that he thought was oh so funny and some others did as well (although, honestly, most of them were pretty drunk by that point anyways) and mostly tried not to fall into his shoulder and just go to sleep already. Her youngest nephew, Rogan, was actually doing just that in her lap and getting some pretty heavy glares from Vaughn, who was supposed to be listening to her grandpa's boring speech from some lawn chairs with her sisters, but was definitely more vested in letting her cousin know that it was not appreciated that he was hogging her favorite place ever.
And they probably left before the party was fully over, but most anyone Paul was interest in talking to was gone and he'd told Vince before that they wouldn't be staying past eight. He was fine with it, of course, as he'd gotten his speech out and Steph had to (lie about) admit how embarrassed she was by it and just how funny he was.
Vince ate shit like that up.
"And if you don't feel like making the trip to the lake house tomorrow, don't," she told her father as Paul rounded up the girls and Andre. "Really. We'll only be there for-"
"Paul's parents are coming, right?"
"Well, yeah, but-"
"Then I'll definitely be there! They should hear my speech too."
Oh goody.
They were taking the big car, which had a third row and enough room for not only their stuff, but also Steph's oldest nephew when he begged to get to go and Shane and Marissa relented.
They'd be down there anyways, in the morning.
"I've done some number crunching, babe."
'Uh-huh."
"And since we somehow didn't get out of here before seven-"
"We never were."
"We'll probably be in this car at midnight." Steph grinned at Paul as they drove down the road, hardly out of town yet. Then, nodding to the back, where Murphy and Vaughn, on the first row of seats back there with Andre, looked about ready to fall asleep, while Aurora and Declan sat in the back, playing some sort of handheld game, she said, "That might be a bit awkward. Considering."
"Maybe we'll celebrate after you've made it through the first hour. At one in the morning."
"Uh-huh."
Steph slept though, most of the way there, before they switched at a gas station and she drove. Paul couldn't sleep though, and mostly played on his phone and listened to the snores of the children (and puppy) that very much so could.
They didn't even wake up Murphy and Vaughn when they got there. Just carried them out of the car and straight to bed. Aurora and Declan were only awake long enough to fall into some beds themselves before they fell back sleep. Andre wasn't as easy to get back down, as he had to pee and such, but afterwards, Steph just locked him up in one of the rooms and she and Paul retired themselves.
"I'm ready to be serviced."
"Now who's full of it?"
Both laughing, though filled with (and perhaps fueled by) exhaustion, they fell into their bed together, Paul already down to his boxers and Steph still tugging on one of his shirts. It would be too cold far too soon for her to only wear that and some panties, so she was soaking it up.
"We should fuck at the exact moment you were born," he clarified the rules as she snuggled up to him. "The exact moment you're actually forty. When is that? Do you know?"
"No."
"You think it'd be weird to ask your parents?"
"I mean if you phrase it that way-"
"I love you."
Settling into her side of the bed, she whispered, "Even at forty?"
"Add the word more in there somewhere and sure."
"Even at more forty?"
"More even at forty," he said with a frown. "Until, you know, every birthday after forty. Then sure. And even at forty more when you're eighty."
"When I'm eighty, you'll be eighty-eight. And, like, Rora will probably have shipped us off to a nursing home."
"Is that a thing? Is that what we can do to Vince when he reaches that age?"
"That age? I'm giving him another year."
"Your mom though-"
"Oh, no, she can stay out until ninety. At least."
"She'd probably thank us," Paul said through a yawn as he eyes slipped shut. "For getting rid of him."
"Probably ask what were we waiting for."
"My parents can just live with us though. When they get too old to care for themselves." He waited for a response. "Steph? Stephanie? If it didn't work last night-"
"We'll see."
"We know."
"Hmmm."
Even though they needed sleep, their typical early riser of a middle child did not. And, when she woke Paul up at six, wanting to get her mother up as well to celebrate her birthday for real that time, he only gathered Murphy up before she could do so and took her out of the room.
They needed to take Andre to the bathroom and get him some water anyways.
"It's gonna be a busy day, Murph," he told her as they sat on the deck, Andre running around the property below them. "My mom and dad are coming and your Uncle Shane and Aunt Rissa and Aunt Lynn and your cousins and-"
"We're gonna have cake again? Right?" That was her main focus, it seemed.
His girl always had her eyes on the prize.
"Mmmhmm."
"But then you gotta go." She really didn't like the sound of that part. "To Chicago?"
"Right again." Yawning as they watched the sunrise (or he did; she was staring enviously down at Andre, wishing that she wasn't in her nightgown and could go run around like him). "But you'll stay here at the lake house with Grandma and Grandpa. Then Grandma Linda's gonna take you back home."
"And you won't be there?"
"Nope. You know we're doing Clash."
"I could go with you," she offered. "And go to RAW. And Smackdown."
"And miss school?"
"Pop says-"
"What exactly is he telling you that all of a sudden you all think you can drop out and just jump into the dang company?" the man grumbled. "At six and eight? You do know that your mother went to college, right? Before seriously being involved in it? And graduated from it?"
"Did you?"
"I… The point, Murph, is that you gotta finish school. At least. High school. That's the rule." He went back to looking at the sky. "Then we can talk about what comes next."
"I don't really wanna work with Pop anyways," she said, making a face. "I'mma be an astronaut and go to space."
"Yeah, right, without a even going to college. Much less finishing elementary school. Good luck with that."
"Thank you."
Heh.
His parents got here around eight and most the kids were up by then, wanting to go explore outside, which they were more than happy to do with them.
"Steph's still asleep," Paul said after thanking them, "and I'mma go catch a shower or something. We'll be outside soon. You hear that, kids? So no misbehaving."
Yeah, as if the threat of him being outside would put an end to that.
With the house emptied out once more, Paul went to check in on his wife, not shocked to find her still sleeping soundly.
"Steph." Crawling back into bed after stripping back down to his boxers (he'd dressed when he was around the kids), he gently shook her shoulder. "You still alive in there, baby?"
"Mmmm?"
"Good. Wouldn't be able to live without you at least making it to eighty now. So we can have some hot nursing home sex."
Dazed, she only blinked wearily up at him. "Wha'?"
"Nothing, babe." He still laid there, propped on his side, grinning. "Say, speaking of sex, guess whose man emptied the house of, oh, everyone?"
"Is it the man with the world's largest penis?"
"That's the one."
"Then I'm guessing my man."
"Mmmhmm. So get your parents on the phone-"
"Either I'm having a nightmare or this is taking a turn."
"-and find out what time you were born." Paul wagged his eyebrows. "I'm ready to bone."
"Such," Stephanie yawned as she shifted to sit up and glance around for a clock, "a romantic."
"Always, baby."
As she fell back to the bed, he only moved to lean over her a bit, moving in for a kiss. Against her lips, he whispered, "Ready for your first fuck of forty?"
"This has to happen right now? No more sleeping? Or-"
"Stephanie-"
Giggling as she wrapped an arm around her neck, she pulled him closer as she said, "Just a fuck."
"Oh, no, definitely not." Paul shifted some, to get more comfortable, before resting a palm on her stomach, reaching down to shove the shirt up a bit first. "I haven't had just a fuck since the first time I slept with you and didn't realize how perfect you were for me yet."
"Laying it on thick with these...somewhat romantic thoughts of yours."
"I'm just happy for my baby's birthday."
"I'm glad."
"And I can't wait until we get a real weekend, just to ourselves, so I can show you how much I really, really appreciate getting you for a whole nother year."
"That probably won't be until our anniversary. At least."
"Even better. More to appreciate."
They both fell silent for awhile then as they shifted more into lazily making out, Paul's hand staying there, on her tummy, slowly making its way down to the top of her panties. It rested there though, stroking gently at the soft flesh, as if to tease her. And Steph was into it, moaning against his mouth frequently, wondering when they'd finally find some fire.
Forever never had been on their side, after all.
Against her lips eventually he whispered, "Just so you know, babe, the kids aren't that far away."
"Mmmm."
"So when you feel like screaming-"
"I'm gonna feel like doing that this morning?"
"Oh, most definitely. This is a birthday fuck. Or did you forget?"
"I forgot," she said, puckering up her lips at him. "Paul."
"Well, it has been a year."
"It has."
Moving his head, when he dropped it down that time, it wasn't to peck at her lips but rather brush his own against her ear. "Let me fill you in then."
And whatever it was that he mumbled got Steph to giggle loudly and shove at his chest, hissing, "You know we can't do that here."
He gave her his best disappointed face. "How come?"
"Paul."
"I wanna treat you."
"You're so-"
"I'll bend over you, right? And give you my bicep to bite? So you don't, like, make them all think I'm murdering you in here?"
"We're not doing that."
"Fine," he groaned, shifting close to her again before leaning down, that time for her neck. Pressing a kiss to it, he mumbled against her flesh. "Let me at least do this then, huh?"
"Maybe we can do the...other thing for your next birthday." She ran a hand across his fuzzy head, giggling some. "Okay?"
"Don't tease me," he warned as he shifted down a bit, his hands coming to rest on her sides. "I'll hold you to that."
"For basically a year? You'll remember-"
"Yes."
And she believed him.
"You look hot in my shirt," he mumbled as he shoved it up even more, so that he could press his lips to her stomach. "But you should take it off now."
"Why?"
"You look even hotter without it."
"You know, I'm starting to think you're reusing lines, because I know I've heard that one before."
Keeping low on the bed, he left his lips right above her bellybutton as he stared up at her, Steph only grinning and keeping her head lifted, so she could watch him as well. As he stayed there though, the grin almost seemed a bit distorted and, with a groan, Steph's head fell back again.
Not a pleasurable groan either.
Frowning, Paul pushed up a bit. "Babe?"
"You don't have to...do that."
"Go down on you?" He glared. "You can't critique it before I've even done it, you know."
"No, Paul. I meant...kissing on my stomach or whatever. It's enough."
"Oh. Well, that's my lead up to-"
"I know. I just don't..."
It wasn't the first time that she'd been that way about that sort of thing. Even when they first got together Steph was kind of weird about her stomach. It didn't matter how flat she got it, she always felt as if it, specifically, wasn't enough.
Especially after they had their kids.
Recently it had been a bit better. She didn't gripe about it nearly as much.
Apparently though, on that specific day, she wasn't into it.
"Your stomach's so small though." He lowered his head again. "And flat. And-"
"Paul-"
"What?" He gave it another kiss. "I love you. I- Hey, Steph-"
"I said to knock it off." She'd given his head a shove. "Seriously, Paul."
Huffing a bit, he got off her, falling onto his side beside the woman. "What's your problem? We were having a good-"
"You know what that kid in the gas station said to me?"
"...Is this riddle? Do I have to answer a riddle and then get to go down on my wife? Because, babe, you shouldn't put stipulations on it."
"It was when we were coming into New Hampshire. And we stopped at that gas station and I went in to, you know, get the kids drinks and when I was up at the counter, checking out, the guy was all, 'Thank you, ma'am. Having a good evening, ma'am? Have a goodnight, ma'am.' Like I'm, you know, old or something."
"What?" Paul made a face. "Are you serious?"
"Yes!" Rolling onto her side, he got her back then as she said, "I mean, it's one thing, you know? To be polite or whatever, but to say it that many times? And the way he was looking at me? He thought I was old, Paul."
"Steph...I mean… You're not old to me, but if it was a kid… Wasn't forty old to you when you were-"
"But I don't look forty!"
"...Is this you not being upset about your birthday? Because I'd hate to see you if you-"
"Shut up, Paul."
"What do you want from me? I don't even get this." And he honestly didn't. "What? Me being a kind and sweet husband, thinking of our poor impressionable children and how it would scar them, to hear the absolutely depraved things I want to do to you and how you'd respond to them, so just going to go down on you instead, somehow got you to recall how some guy at the gas station was very courteous to you?"
"He thought I was-"
"You said you were fine with being forty!"
"With being forty. Not looking forty. There's a difference."
But was there?
Honestly?
"Let me get my damn phone then, Stephanie, so we can scroll through all the comments on every damn photo you post from all these guys that want to pork you."
In any other situation, Stephanie might have questioned where the hell he pulled that euphemism out of, but it was too tense of one (for her anyways) at the moment for such a thing.
"That's not the same thing."
"That is the same thing."
"No. Those photos are all… You know, I don't post, like, my worst ones. That guy at the gas station saw me after a very long day."
"Even better!" Paul fell onto his back. "So after ten, when you've had a long day, you look your age. Why is that a problem?"
"You don't get it."
"You're most certainly right. I don't." Not to mention, he was more than a bit put out that the birthday sex wasn't going to be happening anymore. Frustrated in a multitude of ways. "You told me all week that you were fine with-"
"I am. But not look-"
"You're forty, Steph! Sometimes you'll look like it. Does that mean that I don't love you? Or don't want you? No. So-"
"It's not about you."
"So it's about teenage boys at gas stations?"
"No! And he was at least twenty-one. I bet. To sell alcohol, he'd have to be."
Right?
Paul, who'd dealt with a plethora of insecurities in his time spent with Steph (he didn't understand how the hottest woman he knew could feel so down on herself constantly, but had long resound to the fact that he never would and to just weather the storms that came along with it), let out a long breath before saying, "I'm sorry I messed with your stomach."
"It's not about that. Stop making it sound like a joke."
"I'm not trying to."
"I just...I don't know. I didn't feel weird about it as I was at the party last night or any time before that, but as we were lying here..."
"I love you," he said softly.
"Paul-"
"I do," he insisted. "And that's why I kept pestering you about being forty. Because I know you. You get emotional about shit."
"I do not."
"Steph, you teared up at all our babies first steps."
"You cried when they were born."
"So did you! So you're not bolstering your case here."
"It's just been a weird year. And then...Bluto died and..."
"Then it's not about looks? It's about being closer to death?"
"No," she groaned. "Have you seen my parents? I'm living forever."
"Then-"
"I just...I dunno. I'm not trying to be difficult."
She never was. Trying to be. But she always was. Being difficult.
His woman…
"You're not," he lied as she glanced over her shoulder at him. Lying with his head to the side, so he could stare right back, he said, "I just wasn't expecting this was all. Since, you know, you kind of kept insisting-"
"You should know by now that the more I insist the more I'm just bottling things."
Oh, he knew. Because he had prepared. Had expected. Completely. He just wasn't sure how to tell her this considering it would make him look horrible at his job (and yes, it was his job to keep her happy), considering even knowing and expecting and preparing had done nothing for his readiness.
She'd just caught him off guard was all. Got him all horny (or he got them both horny), only to spring it all on him.
"I know, baby."
"I just don't...feel...right now."
"Feel what?"
"Paul-"
"Sexy? Because if we started doing what I suggested we do, you most certainly will."
"You're not going to get me to laugh and forget about this."
"Darn." Rolling onto his side once more, he snuggled right up to her back as he whispered, "Because, baby, I wanna make you forget."
"Paul-"
"I love you." He felt like he'd said that a lot in the past few days. It usually wasn't something they said often, if at all. She said it more than him, typically, and even then it was rarely needed. They both knew how the other felt. They used their professions, rather, on their babies. Not one another. But if Steph needed some of that, he'd lay it on as thick as it took. Kissing behind her ear, she shifted in his grasp, but he was tightening his hold after tossing an arm over her stomach. "And I don't want you to ever take into consideration what some kid at a gas station who wouldn't even be worthy to jerk one to a picture of you thinks you look like."
"Right. Just what the ones that say good things about me on the internet."
"No." Nuzzling his head into her neck, his hand slipped beneath her shirt and, that time, went up and instead of down. "I want you to care about what I say. That's it. Not anyone else. Aren't I all that matters?"
"I matter."
"You matter a lot," he agreed. "And you should think what I think. Because you definitely don't look fucking forty, baby. Thirty, maybe, but-"
"You're so-"
"The only thing that I want full right now, Steph, is you."
"I'm serious, you need to take a note out of my father's binder-"
"Ew. Why are you talk about him? Right now?"
"-and just go to the internet for your jokes. Or lines, I guess, in your situation. Because these are starting to get-"
"Old?" He chuckled softly in her ear. "You're not getting tired of me yet, are you?"
"Never."
"Good. Same." He heard her take a sharp intake of breath as his hands found their destination. Breath still against her ear, he whispered, "If you feel like shit or old or something dumb like that, just remember; I am old. Really old. And I've managed to delude myself into believing I'm still hot."
"You are though."
"A hot old guy. Not a hot young one."
"That modesty. Got to love it."
"Mmmm. People like us? Who look as good as us? The fuck should we be modest for? You only get better looking, baby. And I'm just redefining what good looks like. So don't ever feel old. You think I'd be with an old woman?"
She was quiet for a moment before whispering, "I don't know."
Paul let out a breath, thinking that he'd failed in trying to make her feel better. "Steph-"
"I mean," she continued on over his words, "you did seem pretty stoked at the idea of fucking in a nursing home."
He paused too before laughing, truly, and snuggling her to him, Stephanie giggling a bit as his breath tickled her ear.
"Man, I love you. And only with you, babe. Me and you in a nursing home. Freaking out the nurses. Having to be separated."
"And needing lots of Viagra?"
"That's how I want to go. Heart attack while fucking you."
"Right, because that wouldn't screw my mind up any."
"I'd fall on top of you and suffocate you to death so that we could die together."
"Okay, this is getting weird," she said, shoving him off finally as his hand slipped out of her shirt and he fell on his back once more. "You always manage to do that."
"What? Creep you out?"
Shaking her head a bit, Steph sat up before moving over towards him. "No. Make me feel better."
"Mmmm." He grinned as she started to get over him, his hands immediately finding her hips. "It's all I care about."
Stephanie grinned as he sat up and they were able to rest their foreheads against one another. "Glad to hear it."
Again, it was languid as they kissed, both knowing they needed to get it on with, if they were doing anything, but neither were too keen on breaking their kisses long enough to do so.
"Paul," Steph whispered as, finally, they did and his hands went to the hem of the shirt.
"Hmmm?"
"Which would you choose?" she asked as he slipped it off, grinning just from the sight.
"What?"
"From the story. That you told me. The other night." Free of her shirt, she moved to push him back down, hands firm on his chest as she leaned over him. "Which would choose?"
"Mmmm… Not to approach the killer bunny. And I definitely know everything about African swallows."
She made a face, down at him, before saying, "I wasn't talking about Monty-" Then a laugh escaped. "Shut up, Paul."
Grinning, he said, "Am I funny, baby?"
"You're the funniest man I know."
As she leaned down to press her lips to his once more, he mumbled, "Thanks, baby."
"Mmmm," she hummed, shutting her eyes and taking in a deep breath. "You don't smell too great right now thou-"
"Alright." Paul wasn't even too gentle about it, as he flipped her over, to the sounds of Steph's laughter. "I've had about enough out of you now."
And she tried to bury her giggles into his shoulder as he reached down to finally wiggle them both out of the rest of their clothes, her own hands resting on his back.
"I can't wait," he breathed in her ear as he did so, "until next year."
Still all giggles, she tried to reply, but he beat her as he continued.
"On my birthday," he went on. "When we finally get to-"
"Paul-"
"Happy birthday, baby."
And she was able to quell her giggles then, as he stared straight down at her and their eyes locked. The way he was stare so deeply at her, she didn't feel old at all.
"Thank you."
Nodding a bit, he whispered, "At the risk of being told I need a new line-"
"You probably do."
"-I love you, baby."
With a swallow, Steph nodded before repeating, "I love you too."
They actually had a live event on September 24th, but, for the sake of fiction…