Not Going Out - Interview

Chapter 1

Lee and Lucy's flat

Lee was watching Good Morning Britain, in bis pyjama bottoms and clutching a bowl of cereals in his right hand. He wasn't sure of what certain activities he should get on with today, while Lucy was getting ready for work and while Tim and Daisy were off on their Sherlock and Doctor Who filming locations tour in Cardiff. Now he and Lucy were married, he was beginning to consider an impossible solution - getting himself out there and hopefully finding a job. Well he couldn't very well keep sitting on his arse, on the sofa all the time, now could he?

"You might not like me and I might not like you but one of us has to be upfront here and tell the truth. What in God's name were you thinking with that hairstyle Susannah, it makes you look like you've done your hair during a blackout."

Lucy came out from the bathroom, holding her handbag in one hand and brushing her hair.

"Please don't tell me you're going to sit round, as if you're the king of the sofa Lee. Seeing as we're married, between us we need to start making a living."

Lee turned the volume down on the tv, so he could hear himself think properly and give his wife a chance to talk to him.

"Making a living? What by me becoming a shop window model? Fair chance of that happening again, especially after what happened the last time I tried that out."

It dawned on Lucy, that Lee hadn't once tried to tell her this story before.

"Why what did happen last time? Did a shoplifter mistake you for one of those dummies and he or she tried to take you home with them?"

"My father, that's what!"

"Let me guess, he done something to embarrass you didn't he?"

"Oh yes, it was way, way embarrassing than a date to the cinema along with your parents. You know to see know the ins and outs of his embarrassing antics, in a nutshell Lucy."

Can't say it's surprising for me to hear, what sort of mischief and embarrassing antics he gets up to."

He didn't feel he should let the cat out of the bag about it straight away, as to why his dad had foolishly costed him one and only job. However Lucy seemed to be encouraging him to open up more and well basically it would be rude not to tell her. "Oh believe me, there's a reason why I haven't told you this particular story before, Lucy. "

She became rather curious, with what he might reveal to her. Knowing Lee and his father, she reckoned Lee's story perhaps might actually be very amusing. Despite her curiosity on the matter, soon enough she tried to behave adequately sensible about her husband's concealed secret.

"Surely it can't be that bad?" She said.

Not wishing to remain tight lipped for another minute longer, Lee felt she should know another embarrassing story about his dad.

"He mistook me for a woman, given that I was wearing for the window shop modelling and then he started flirting with me. Let's just say, one thing lead to another, he pulled my wig off when he started doing the Hey Macarena dance and singing to me. Then he started laughing and accused me of being a transvestite."

"So you're telling me, your father can't tell the difference between you and a man in drag?"

There was a understandable look of relief on Lee's face because of the fact, he was getting everything out into the open and well for once he really did feel glad to get everything finally off his chest.

"Lucy for the last time, I wasn't dressing up like a Danny La Rue impersonator. Never mind my dad not being able together difference between me and a person in drag, he can't even tell the difference between what's peanut and what isn't peanut butter."

She knew he preferred using one simple yet silly tactic that would guarantee, they'd be receiving less phone calls in future.

"Alright fine, I get the picture now Lee. Just promise me you'll make sure, that you're going to start looking at jobs in the newspapers from now on and that you won't pass yourself off as Michael Caine or Danny Dyer over the phone. Remember the last time you tried that, you pretended you were Robert De Niro after answering the phone to my father and he ended up calling you a total bellend."

"Oh yeah, he said he knew it was me on the other side of the phone because of the fact I was probably fearing that, he was on the other side of the door in the hallway and crapping myself at the thought of having my balls turned into Snooker balls." Lee reminded himself and her of, the worrying likelihood of that happening sometime soon.

xxxxx

Lee was reading the morning newspaper. Lucy's moral words still ringing in his ears after their conversation over an hour ago. Perhaps following through with this job searching promise, might be worth a try - so he thought. He knew she meant well and that she didn't want him feeling very lonely while she was working. "Huh an ambulance driver wanted by Casualty, Christ they must be running low on actors playing paramedics nowadays. Hm this one looks better, bingo caller wanted, needs to be very chatty and have a great sense of humour. Are they sure they aren't describing me or a long lost twin brother, my dad's failed to mention to me about?"

Keen to prove how meticulously willing he was to phone up and query about the details of this exact job, Lee quickly wrote down the number and within a matter of 15 seconds he was now phoning up the manager. The effect of Lucy's words were certainly working their wonderful charm on him, that was for sure.

He couldn't pass on the opportunity of getting a bingo caller, no matter whether it was a dull sort of job or not.

Lucy's workplace

Lucy's phone started vibrating, her ringtone was Strictly Come Dancing intro music, no thanks to Lee cheekily changing it, from the original mobile ringtone which she had - One Direction's One Way or Another. She sighed, wishing she hadn't been interrupted from an important meeting, she picked her phone up and answered it.

"Hello?" She hadn't checked the name displayed on her phone before answering it.

"Hi honey it's me, hope I haven't disturbed you during a meeting?" Lee greeted her, his voice sounded strangely than usual almost as if he had received the greatest news ever. Lucy figured it might be something involving football.

"You know very well, that I'm stuck in a meeting at the moment."

"How come you know that? You didn't tell me you had a meeting this morning."

"Of course I didn't tell you because I can see you standing outside the actual building I'm in, that's what! You saw me in the window."

Lee was actually stood over the road, outside McDonalds. He glanced up with a cheerful expression on his face and gave Lucy an excited hand wave gesture. Lucy responded with a half cheery hand wave herself, despite the fact she wasn't best pleased by how he his phone call had now left her feeling somewhat sidetracked, while she was meant to be having her meeting.

"I guess I did actually see you occupying the window and I fancied re-enacting your Officer and a Gentleman fantasy, you know that one you told me about on our honeymoon. Anyway I've got some news for you, however seeing as you're...stuck...in a meeting, I might as well tell you after you've finished your meeting."

"I'll see you in Starbucks at lunchtime, how's that?" Lucy suggested a lunch break meet up at the outlet further down the road.

"That...that would be lovely...I tell you what, I'll make your lunch break, the best one you've ever had."

"What by, telling me what tight-fitting dress Holly Willoughby was wearing on This Morning today or perhaps what naughty antics Mr and Mrs Gibbons from the flat upstairs were getting up to this morning, while you were watching the tv. I don't think I want to know too much detail about any of those."

"I'll see you in an hour then, love you Lucy." He just wanted her to know this, so she wouldn't stay annoyed with him.

"Love you too Lee." She smiled, it was always very sweet and cute whenever she heard Lee telling her, he loved her over the phone.

Once she'd left her the workplace around 50 minutes later, Lucy met Lee inside Starbucks. He really couldn't stop smiling as soon as he saw her, walking over towards him - which was intriguingly offbeat to say the least.

"You've got me to yourself, for the next hour. So what was it, you have to tell me Lee?"

"Well...as of tomorrow afternoon I have an interview at the Gala Bingo. Doctor's orders...Number 9!, Two Little Ducks.. Quack-Quack, Number 22!, Grandma's getting fisty...Number 60!..." Lee tried to impress her, with his knowledge of bingo nicknames. This didn't work as well as he planned, given that a few customers had overheard him talking loudly.

"I think you might need more practice and learn how to keep your voice at a balanced volume." She suggested but as soon as she saw the smile fade from his face, she wondered whether perhaps she'd explained what she had just said, awkwardly and confusingly.

Lee suddenly became very teary-eyed, much to Lucy's surprise and half embarrassment. "My own wife doesn't think I stand a chance of doing well at my interview tomorrow. Remember this then, that you'll be feeding me to the wolves Lucy, I won't have you as my Gandalf shielding me and myself as...well Bilbo Baggins, when I go in there to face the music. "

She felt he was being a tad melodramatic in front of her. Well unless this was his silly sort of way of persuading her into teaching him some useful interview techniques, she knew she would definitely up for helping him out - in any way possible.

"How would you feel if I helped you out, with preparation for your interview tomorrow Lee? Come on, you know you want me, to help you become a bit clever at doing interviews."

"Thanks Lucy, alright I promise I won't be a blubbering wreck if I get your questions wrong, during our roleplay. Is there any chance of you turning into a naughty boss while you practice being the interviewer?"

"Well that's a good question...you've asked me there. See let me think of an answer...No." She didn't want to see him getting easily distracted from the importance of his interview with the Gala Bingo manager.

"Why not? Eh you never know it might help to boost my confidence during my proper interview tomorrow."

"Do you actually know, who is going to be interviewing you Lee? You did ask didn't you because it's important to know before you arrive for your interview?"

It did slowly dawn on Lee, how he'd missed the mark, by not asking who he would be interviewed by. "No...oh Bollocks!"

End of Chapter

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