Hello everyone and welcome to the first chapter!

First things first: I don't own any of the characters or any of the anime/manga based content

Now that this is done here chapter specific WARNINGS: drugs, rape, abuse, self harm, mentally ill behavior, suicide, language, yaoi fluff

I think that's about it, some of the warnings may seem unnecessary but I wanted to be on the safe side

Enjoy and I hope you like it!

~Broken~

It's the 21st century, ninjas were rare nowadays because the technology could easily solve a lot of problems. Schools mostly didn't teach jutsus anymore but modern subjects. Iryo-Ninjas got replaced by doctors, the police used guns and tasers instead of jutsus, new companies were developed and quickly had a lot of power and influence. Only the most powerful ninjas were left, some clans still learned their progeny jutsus and the doujutsus are still inherited as well as the bijuus still existed, that was the only real reason ninjas still existed. To seal the bijuus into human bodies and to control the doujutsu users. The whole ninja world changed and at some point something very strange happened. Due to certain circumstances some males actually possess the ability to give birth. No one knows how it happened or when exactly, all that's known is that there is a chromosome abnormality that made this happen.

One of those males is the famous Sasuke Uchiha, unfortunately that's not the only abnormality of his. The Uchiha clan's curse is unknown by the most outsiders, only a few close friends know about it and some doctors, lawyers and such. The reason is that it would be dangerous to tell someone there is a mate curse over every Uchiha male even the real uke like Sasuke were affected.

The Uchiha curse affects every generation, every single male in the clan, because a certain someone, who often gets called a god by strangers due to his unbelievable skills in multiple subjects, managed to piss off someone who you better not make your enemy, the exact circumstances are unknown however and since no one really trusted Madara anyway not even the Uchiha knew if the reason he told the ones who asked why they were cursed are really true.

Nonetheless every Uchiha has to find his soul mate or else…they die. Depending on how close they are related to Madara, the age they die is either 17 or 24. If the Uchiha actually finds his mate, which can be either female or male, they get to live a long and happy life most of the time. The moment they touch for the first time, their memories exchange and in some cases they are also able to talk through telepathy after some time or in very rare cases from the very beginning. Luckily the mates are made for each other, the only problem is that 'made for each other' has differences, therefor there are 3 types of reactions when the Uchiha and the mate first meet: harmony, they are made for each other but may have some differences; anger, they are identical; panic, they are the complete opposite. Though no matter which of these reactions is reached, the boundary is perfect…mostly. Like every other curse not even the Uchiha curse is perfect and there are so called anomalies, they mostly appear along with the anger reaction and even if it's rare, the last few generations showed an unnaturally high number of anomalies which made the family pretty much break apart. No one really talked to each other anymore and most parents abandoned their children as soon as possible, as well as there were a few more children without parents that just appeared in front of the houses of the few Uchiha that still had at least some kind of stable relationship to their mate, than there should be, however that was only the case if the newborn was male, since the curse didn't affect the female part of the clan. Since there were only a handful of females in the clan left most people assumed that if there really were female children that weren't the outcome of a married Uchiha couple but the product of a one night stand or affair, they were probably killed as soon as they were born or maybe the father of the unborn child somehow convinced their secret lover to get an abortion. However the youngest generation of the clan was different, even if their parents obviously didn't care about anything anymore they still had hope in them. Sure there were a few other youngsters in the clan but no one really believed they would find their mate since they got all their hopes destroyed by their parents already. Therefor Madara himself let the 4 males who he believed would be able to make the clan survive and as powerful as it used to be, considering the fact that two of them already found their mates he believed he made the right decision, live in the main mansion, his mansion. Two of them already grew up here since they were one of the children that didn't even knew their parents, he raised one of them as his own son and even if the other grew up under the same circumstances he had never felt the need to see him as a father nor uncle, Madara simply was Madara to him. Said two children were Obito and Shisui, even if only Obito saw the raven god as his father and their relationship was without doubt like father and son, the two young Uchiha still grew up as brothers. A few years ago two other young ravens joined to live in the mansion, one of them more mature than he should be considering his age, the other far more innocent looking than he really was, but of course Itachi didn't know that the looks of his little brother weren't reflecting his personality anymore, since he believed Sasuke would always stay his cute little baby brother for the rest of his life.

Back to the curse however it worked different for Madara, since the one that cursed them clearly underestimated the oldest raven's abilities, he was able to trick the curse. Not interested in something as primitive as love he managed to change a few aspects about the curse that pretty much made him immortal as long as he was careful. He could pick a mate once in 100 years, those were counted from the moment he chose the female who would stay by his side for…well…her lifetime, after his mate died he would wait a few years to give others the illusion that he had feelings and needed time before picking his new mate. Honestly he didn't care at all about the 4 women that he had been married to so far, but to keep his high status he had to pretend he was at least somehow human. Lately however there was something off with the raven god and his beloved son started to get suspicious, Madara's last mate died a few years before Obito was even born, he didn't know how much time exactly his father had left to pick a mate but he assumed it wasn't that much which was more than strange since the raven god didn't like neither waiting nor risking anything if it wasn't necessary.

These and many other things would lead to a lot of trouble that was about to happen and soon it would show if the young Uchiha and their clan leader were able to handle it. As for now it was unclear who would become stronger and who would break, all that was known was that the upcoming events, which none of the involved people was aware of, would turn their worlds upside down.

7 years earlier…

Three young raven haired males were gathered in the large living room of the mansion, one of them was barely old enough to be called a teen, regardless of the still soft features of the child's face his expression showed just how mature he was already. He looked at the taller raven next to him with fear and tears in his eyes, trying his best to hide how he really felt, not able to take his eyes off his cousin, who was also his best friend.

The tall raven himself was staring at the clock with wide eyes, counting every second that passed, knowing what would happen when it showed a certain time, the time he was terrified of, the exact second of his 17th birthday. He was rocking back and forth not able to calm himself anymore, no matter what the others said, he knew this was it, his very last minutes of life before the curse would kill him. Sure he didn't show any signs of his upcoming death, but he cling to the thought that that was just an anomaly. Even if he was perfectly sane and didn't show any signs of his body falling apart either, he was sure this was it.

His older cousin, who always was like a brother to him was rubbing his back, an attempt to comfort the more and more tensing raven. Obito didn't believe in the idea of an anomaly, sure there was a first time for everything but no one ever died without showing the symptoms of breaking apart both physically and mentally, starting about one year before their dead line. It was simply impossible, the curse wouldn't allow one of the main effects to disappear because of some anomaly, he could still understand the fear of his cousin. Living past your 17th birthday without your mate wasn't exactly the best thing for an Uchiha, it only meant that the symptoms would be crueler before their death.

The shaking of the tall raven who sat in between his two cousins got worse when the clock showed 12:09. One minute left. He couldn't take it any longer and hot tears started to trail down his cheeks as he clenched his eyes shut. His sobs were heartbreaking, luckily neither Sasuke nor Kakashi could see him but he couldn't convince Itachi and Obito to leave him, he didn't want anyone to see him like this. The never ending flow of tears and the sobs that started to sound more like screams slowly made the mask of the remaining two fade as the first tear trailed down the cheek of the youngest. The seconds passed by and even if it was only a minute it felt like a whole lifetime and then…the clock hit 12:10.

Everything froze, tears kept flowing but a painful silence filled the room, two and a half pairs of scarlet eyes all stared at the same thing. The clock. Suddenly the silence was broken as a hysterical laugh escaped Shisui, the raven that was sure he would die just seconds ago was laughing and smiling, it didn't take long for the other two to let out a sigh. They hugged his cousin who was still laughing, he couldn't believe he survived, he didn't know why. Even if it meant a more painful death, he didn't care, because at least for now, he was able to be happy, he could enjoy creating new memories with his cousins and he could see the day Itachi would find his mate, he could see Sasuke grow up at least a little longer, he could go to school, he could find a job and god knows what else. He could live.

"I told you…I told you I won't allow you to die!" The raven with only one sharingan left said smiling at his cousin, tears of happiness filling his eyes, they all laughed at that comment and Shisui let a hand travel through his raven hair before resting his head in his hands.

The peace however was short when the tall raven's features began to show some kind of discomfort and he suddenly clenched his eyes shut. A low growl was heard from the male as he pulled his hair, it didn't take a genius to tell he was in some kind of pain and then suddenly his tall body curled up into a small ball, a loud scream was heard and the other two ravens couldn't believe their eyes. The reason of Shisui's suffering started to show as bruises appeared on his entire body, the scream became louder and he curled up even more, pulling his hair with what seemed like all his strength. One could only see the dark bruises on Shisui's arms and around his neck but the two ravens knew that they were covering his whole body. Not knowing what to do the younger hovered next to the screaming Uchiha while the older shook him trying to get an answer from him as to what was happening. But the sound of his screams was deafening and Shisui couldn't understand what the other said, neither was he in any condition to even realize he was talking to him or shaking him. The pain devoured every single piece of him and it felt like he was burning from the inside, he didn't know why or how this was happening, all he knew was that he felt every single bruise forming on his body, he felt everything. The large purple spots forming everywhere, the cuts that started covering his back, but nothing, not even the marks that showed on his neck and face were as terrible as the burning sensation that he felt in a very sensitive area…he felt like something was tearing him apart, over and over again, whatever it was that made him feel like this, it felt like he was getting the pain of endless beatings and as if he would've been raped god knows how often. Then suddenly it stopped, the pain was still there but he knew it was over. There wouldn't be more. The torture was over. His screaming stopped as well as his crying, it seemed like he had no tears left. His throat felt sore, his eyes burned and his whole body was screaming in pain, but Shisui wasn't able to scream anymore, even if it hurt like hell, at least he knew the main part of his suffering was over. He lay there for what felt like forever before he spoke, his voice almost inaudible, his eyes completely emotionless and staring at something that seemed to be far away.

"Madara…" Was all he could say and instantly his older cousin left the room to find said man. Shisui could see the younger raven's lips move but was too lost to hear what he was saying, he didn't want to hear his voice, because if his mind returned to where his body was he would have to face what has just happened, he was afraid that the terrible pain that devoured his soul would come back. He could see the terrified face of his cousin right in front of him, only inches away from his own, he could feel his hot breath as he spoke, smell the salty tears that kept running down his face no matter how hard he probably tried to hold them back. It felt like seconds that Obito left but he heard two people getting closer to him and just now did he realize that he sat back up, ignoring the stinging pain that shot through his body as his whole weight rested on his abused backside. He blinked a few times and very slowly his soul that was now tainted from the unbearable pain returned to his body. After a few more seconds he was fully aware of his surroundings again: Itachi standing a few feet away still looking at him worried with blood shot eyes but not crying anymore, Obito sitting next to him resting his hand on his back again to give him comfort, barely touching him not wanting to cause any more pain to the other, and Madara, standing in front of him and looking down to the boy that was covered in bruises, an emotionless face like always, however his eyes showed hurt for only a moment, maybe concern, care…even love. The unusual appearance of feelings however faded soon, so soon Shisui wasn't even sure it really happened.

"I believe you want me to explain what just happened to you" The raven god spoke in his low intimidating voice that always sounded somewhat bored, what he probably was, when you get to live as long as Madara you have most likely seen everything already. Shisui nodded slightly, his half lidded eyes looked directly into the rinnegan, not knowing what kind of answer awaited him, but he didn't believe it could get any worse so he wasn't afraid. "If an Uchiha male gets to live up to their 24th birthday, there is a very low chance that they have a much deeper bond with their mate, the body of the Uchiha and the mate are connected, everything that happens to the mate's body will happen to the Uchiha's as well, however this connection is one sided, the Uchiha's injuries won't transfer to the mate. The chances to get such a connection are about 1:100 and it is necessary to survive the 17th birthday, as you can tell there weren't many people who got to inherit this kind of connection, you are the 3rd to be exact. In your case however, different from the other two that had that kind of connection, it seems more like a punishment than a gift. Before you ask, none of the two is alive anymore so you can't talk to them, even if they were you wouldn't be able to since neither of them was as unfortunate as you are. Every bruise that your mate ever got is now visible on you, from now on however you will get them at the same time. By the looks of it I believe you are able to tell now what gender your mate is, if it happens to be a female your body will most likely ache in a place you don't even have." At some point of the conversation tears started flowing down Shisui's cheeks again and apart from Madara everyone present showed the same facial expression, which was a mixture of hurt, pity and disbelief. "I believe you know what will happen if your mate dies, so your dead line from now on is either your 24th birthday or the death of your mate." Shisui swallowed thickly at those words, all this was too much for him, but even if it was too much, he had to stay strong, his mate was enduring this for god knows how long, obviously without any help, so he had no right to pity himself. He needed to find him.

A boy…

Shisui thought to himself. Somehow he always knew it, assumed it, hoped for it, but now he could say it for sure. It was definitely without any doubt a boy. In this terrible, horrifying and absolutely painful situation the simply thought of knowing this little detail about his mate made the raven smile, it was only a weak smile, showing way to many different emotions, and he truly hated all of this, but he still smiled.

I will find you…no matter what…I promise…

Present time

His eyes shot open, the white skin of the raven looked even paler than usually and by the way he was laying in his bed his body seemed like someone sucked every single drop of life out of him. The fading bruises had an unnatural green yellowish color, his ribcage was clearly visible even through the fabric of his black shirt. The cuts on his arms were mostly healed except for the newer ones, since there wasn't much space left on his forearms the cuts now started showing up on his upper arms, when checking those he knew that once again his mate's cutting was the reason that he woke up, since he discovered a new cut with droplets of blood flowing out of it. After a few minutes the raven could feel the sucked out energy return to his body and he started to sit up on his bed, used to the stinging sensation that shot through his lower half whenever he sat up, glad however that it wasn't as bad as it used to be. Shisui noticed that something was off, he couldn't tell what it was and honestly didn't wanted to know, since it was most likely something bad. No matter how much he ignored it, the feeling got worse with every passing second and soon his vision was but a blurry mess, his head felt weird, it didn't exactly hurt but it felt like he was drifting into unconsciousness.

Did they drug him again? The raven thought to himself, but he knew that wasn't the case, he knew this had nothing to do with his mate.

Everyone in the house respected Shisui for being able to keep his sanity somehow, not allowing himself to give in to the symptoms of the curse, but it cost him everything he got. He still couldn't do anything against his body falling apart, no matter how much he ate, he kept losing weight and eventually he had given up on eating at some point since his body didn't profit from it anymore anyway and the feeling of hunger was long gone. The Uchiha was nothing more but a living corpse, he only had one month left to find his mate, the chances were however nonexistent. He searched everywhere, but it was like his mate didn't even exist. No one ever even heard of a boy that had the exact same scars as him. He tried everything he could, but it was hopeless, if his mate wouldn't show up by himself he would die.

The feeling he had was now slowly taking over his body and he did all he could to fight it but he had no strength left, so he gave in to that feeling and let his body be taken over. He didn't knew what would happen next, but he knew that this feeling was the curse that took all of his control and would now shatter his sanity into pieces, he would have either a huge black out or would be watching everything the curse made him do. Honestly, Shisui preferred the first option, if he lost control over his actions and did horrible things he wished that at least he wouldn't remember hurting someone. He didn't want to see how this cruel curse made him hurt his family, friends, even strangers, but he assumed he wouldn't be lucky enough to black out. Closing his eyes he took one last deep breath before giving up completely and let the insanity get access to his mind and body, giving him sick murderous ideas the second he did and a twisted laugh echoed through the walls of the raven's bedroom.

The long haired raven and his mate broke their passionate kiss as they heard the soft knock on the door. Itachi sighed but he knew it was important, he made it clear to everyone that he didn't wanted anyone to bother neither him nor his mate when they were in their bedroom, unless it was something really important. Of course the rule was ignored every once in a while but no one would dare to disturb them so early in the morning for something meaningless, at least not anymore. It took a while to earn everyone's respect and even longer until his two cousins stopped treating him like a child, but now he was fully respected as an adult and they knew that Itachi's personality changed a lot since he met his mate.

With a sigh the raven crawled out of his bed and walked towards the door, whoever waited on the other side started to get impatient as a second knock was heard, louder this time. Not long after the male opened the door and found a silver haired man standing there, a worried look on his face, the annoyed features of the raven softened as it was obvious something has happened.

"Come with me, we need to talk" The raven didn't like the sound of Kakashi's voice, it sounded alarmingly worried and made Itachi feel uneasy. He nodded and told the other to wait so he could get fully dressed since all he was wearing were boxers and the sweat pants he had been sleeping in. After he grabbed a random shirt out of his closet along with a black hoodie and put them on he gave his mate a quick kiss and told the blond haired beauty to go back to sleep, since he assumed he wouldn't be back too soon, he left the room and went downstairs with the silver haired man, who didn't even bother to put his mask on today. They walked silently towards the living room, the depressed look on the older one's face increasing the uneasiness the raven felt, especially the fact that he didn't even dare to look into his eyes made Itachi worried.

"What happened?" He finally asked as they reached the desired destination, even if the raven tried his best to keep up his mask his voice was softer and quieter than he intended it to be. After closing his eyes and taking a deep breath Kakashi finally looked at him, he opened his mouth but closed it soon after without saying a word, he took another deep breath and bit his lower lip, his expressions clearly showed the pain the following words would cause him.

"Shisui…" The raven felt himself tense, but he tried his best to keep the calm act as long as possible, patiently he waited for the other to continue. "I think he…gave up…"

The first thing Itachi's face showed was confusion, as if Kakashi would talk a different language, not a single word he said made sense.

Shisui….gave…up?

No, that couldn't be it, he must have been hearing things. How could Shisui, his cousin, his best friend, the Shisui he grew up with, ever even think about something like giving up? Slowly Itachi's brain started to process what he just heard and as soon as the words sink in, his eyes widen in horror and his jaw dropped slightly open. The pitying expression Kakashi gave him only made it worse and when he tried to reach out to the raven to give his arm a comforting squeeze, Itachi only started to shake his head, not much but way too fast.

"I know this is hard…we all knew the day would come where Shisui wouldn't be strong enough to fight the symptoms anymore…it's a miracle he was able to stay sane until now...but no one can-"

"No!" The raven just couldn't believe what the other tried to tell him. "You're lying! Shisui would never-"

"Itachi it's a curse! No matter how hard we want to deny it it's still a curse! And no one not even Shisui is able to fight off the symptoms forever! He is strong! The strongest person I ever met! But everyone breaks! No one was ever able to fight for so long! No one ever had enough will to torture themselves for so long! The curse is cruel Itachi! Fighting the symptoms caused Shisui more pain than accepting them, but he still did it because he wanted to stay strong! For us, for his mate, for everyone! He endured all this pain and acted like he was fine all this time!" Kakashi was now holding the shocked raven by his shoulders, trying his best to make his voice sound somewhat calming but he couldn't be careful with Itachi now. The raven needed to face reality. He needed to accept the fact that his cousin, his best friend, the person he was looking up to for as long as he could think was now broken. That not even someone as strong as Shisui can endure everything. The tall raven had been through enough, he proved how unbelievably strong he was, but this was enough. Kakashi saw that he suffered, even if he played it off and acted like he was just fine and could handle it, the silver haired man knew that he was about to break, and he honestly had earned all of his respect for being able to control the curse for so long, most Uchiha gave up nine to six months before their deadline, but Shisui actually tortured himself so much that he made it until now. One month. It was one month until his deadline and he was able to control it until now. This was way more than everyone else would ever manage to handle, even Madara respected Shisui for enduring it for so long.

"You're lying!" The raven shouted and pushed away the other's hands, his face distorted in pain and disbelief. Silence filled the room, Kakashi knew he didn't need to say anything else and that the raven would accept it, even if it hurt, it hurt the older too, but he knew that this was especially hard for the still young raven. The scarlet eyes of the long haired male were fixated on the ground, he didn't want to accept what he just heard, but he couldn't deny it, he knew too damn well that what the other said was the truth, he knew this day would come sooner or later, but even if it was much longer than expected, he still wished his cousin had more time, because now that his sanity was gone it started to feel real. The curse. That Shisui would die. The loss of his cousins sanity made all this become much more real.

Everything…I would do everything…please…please…

Only when he felt the arms of the silver haired man embracing him did he realize he said it out loud, but it didn't matter. This was not the time to fake anything, to cling to some stupid mask, this was way more important than getting his goddamn ego pushed because he was able to pretend he didn't feel anything, he wasn't Madara after all. No matter how cold and emotionless Itachi had become through the years to keep the image of an unbreakable male no one would ever dare to mess with, it was nothing but an act. A mask. An illusion. To protect his mate. His brother. Himself. Because he couldn't forget it. He couldn't forget the screams. The helplessness. Because he would never be able to erase the image of what happen that day. The day of Shisui's 17th birthday. That was the day Itachi promised himself one thing: He would never allow anyone or anything to cause his loved ones so much pain ever again. And there he was, trying his best not to cry, embracing his cousin's mate, desperately searching for comfort while his best friend was suffering. He failed. Once again he let someone dear to him get hurt.

"Where is he?" It was barely louder than a whisper when the raven spoke, the lump in his throat making it even harder to speak and making his voice raspy.

"Are you sure you can handle it?" Kakashi took a step back to look at the younger and gave him a concerned look. He wasn't sure if it was a good idea to let him see Shisui in this state but he couldn't forbid him either, all he could do was make sure the raven really wanted this.

"I have a right to see him…" He mumbled, lifting his gaze to look directly into the others eyes, a sigh escaped the silver haired man and he nodded slightly before walking towards the room were his mate tried his best to keep Shisui from hurting himself.

Once again it was silent as they crossed the hallway that led to the bedroom and Kakashi saw how the other tensed more and more the closer they got. Like every other bedroom in the mansion, Shisui's was also sound proof, so they had no idea what was awaiting them even as they stood right in front of the door. After a few moments of hesitation the younger finally grabbed the door knob with a shaky hand and entered the room, at least he wanted to, but what he saw made him freeze in the doorframe.

At first he didn't quite realize the situation, but it didn't take long until he became fully aware of what was happening before his eyes. Obito hovering above Shisui, pinning his arms on either side of his head, trying to fixate him completely on the mattress by kneeling on the other's legs. Itachi's intrusion caught their attention as both their eyes were on him now, but what he saw under Obito wasn't Shisui anymore. Those widened blood thirsty eyes that burned into the back of his head and the crazy look they had were the first thing the young Uchiha noticed. The insane grin showed his snow white teeth and especially pointed out the slightly longer and sharp eyeteeth Shisui always had, but never really stood out, at least until now. The sick twisted laugh that echoed through the walls made Itachi sweat in fear and he felt like the temperature dropped several degrees. He noticed a new cut on his upper arm and a few on his wrists, luckily neither of them looked too deep and the ones on his wrists were probably created today by Shisui himself, the younger raven was glad his other cousin could stop his best friend from successfully slicing them open. No matter how glad he was, no matter how often he told himself it could be worse, he was shocked, afraid…terrified. To see his best friend like this, the one person Itachi knew that was always smiling, laughing, cheering everyone up, to see the strongest person he had ever met like this simply destroyed something deep within him. It shattered the little part that always told him that everything can be endured into pieces. This right in front of him was the proof. Even the strongest man can be destroyed. All this time he was able to ignore the condition of the other's body, he kept telling him he was fine with a soft calming smile on his face, but now he saw he wasn't fine at all. He knew the bruises were there, the cuts were there, that Shisui had lost a lot of his weight, but now he was finally able to see it. The abused body that screamed for help, his deadly pale skin, the sunken cheeks, the dark circles under his eyes, the way too skinny body of the tall raven, the bruises of several beatings the other's mate must've been through, the damp hair, the countless cuts. If the curse wouldn't keep him alive he would've died of starvation a long time ago and Itachi finally started to wonder how someone could stay mentally strong for so long with such a weak body. He looked like his body died months ago, every normal person would've given up long ago only due to the abuse, but his friend kept fighting, he kept fighting even if his body was already broken. The next thing to happen, finally destroyed what was sticking the pieces of the young raven together, the last pieces of his mask, but after what happened next, he didn't give a single fuck about what the other's thought about him anymore, because he truly was terrified at what his best friend said.

"Hurt me~!" The devilish voice sang. "Ne, Obito~! Hurt me~!"

Itachi felt like someone knocked the air out of him at those words, he wasn't able to move from the moment he saw his cousin but now he wouldn't dare even if he could.

"No, I won't, no one will and you won't hurt yourself either" The oldest raven responded in an almost suicidal sounding voice but tried his best to stay calm. He knew that even if he couldn't bring Shisui back, that he would probably never be the one he used to be, he had to assure that at least he wouldn't hurt anybody, because even if the chances were near zero that he would regain his sanity, the raven would never forgive himself if he hurt somebody. Obito knew that his cousin, his brother, would want him to stop him from hurting anybody.

"Hurt me~! Torture me~!" The demon who used to be Shisui Uchiha purred into the other's ear as he leaned closer, trying to intoxicate him with the venom in his voice. He licked the others cheek before he whispered into the others ear, his following words only audible for the oldest raven. "Break me~!"

The sick twisted laugh echoed through the walls once again as he dropped his head back into the pillow, the crazy eyes focused on the male above him, his insane grin getting wider as the other stopped responding and instead concentrated on pushing his limbs down.

"I~ta~chi~!" Bored of the older raven the demon instead approached the younger one now, licking his bottom lip excited before biting it roughly, almost cutting into the sensitive skin with his sharp teeth. "Kill me~! Pleeeease~! It would make me so happy if you'd kill me~!" He cooed in a voice so sweet it was sickening, it was then that the raven finally was able to move again and before he could even think of it his body started moving on its own and he started running. As fast as he could.

In a matter of seconds he was back to his own bedroom and under the warm covers of his bed, curling up to a ball and clenching his eyes shut. He didn't care anymore, he didn't care that he looked like a frightened five year old, he didn't care who saw him like this, all he wanted was to erase everything he saw in that room from his memories. A warm hand was running through his raven hair and a small frame moved closer to him, the loving touch of his mate however didn't had much effect on him, he was way too terrified.

"Ita…if you don't talk I can't make it better, un…" The nickname that only his mate used and the angelic sound of his voice, the complete opposite of the rotten demonic voice he heard from his cousin, gave him the feeling to at least be somewhat safe. His shaking wasn't that bad anymore and his breathing slowed down a little, his eyes still shut he turned towards his beautiful mate just to pull him as close as possible, inhaling the sweet scent of the godlike creature the heavens gave to him. Burying his face in the long blonde hair and holding him in an embrace that the raven would love to last forever, with every passing second he felt himself calm a little more, knowing his mate was safe, he was safe, the soft blonde strands under his lips as he kissed the top of his head, the sweet caramel scent that seemed to be a permanent feature of his mate ever since they found each other, the soft warm skin that was able to heal everything. He felt the shattered pieces of his hopes stick back together, the caramel of his mate's love was repairing his soul, and with every passing second he felt himself become stronger again. After what felt like hours of healing, he took a deep breath and let it out with a relaxed hum, kissing the top of his soul mate's head once again before feeling ready to speak.

"I love you" His low voice was calm and even if he didn't want to let go completely, he withdrew himself barely enough to look into those ocean blue eyes, lifting the other's face up gently by his chin with one hand while the other was still lingering around the angel's waist.

"I love you too, Ita" The angel whispered with a small smile, glad that he could calm his mate from whatever trauma he had suffered, the confession he got as reward making his blue orbs shine with happiness. Both closed their eyes as the distance between their lips was closed and sweet loving kisses were exchanged.

I didn't hurt anyone…I didn't hurt anyone…I didn't hurt anyone…

The raven kept repeating this single thought over and over again in his head. At some point his sanity finally came back, all he knew was that he felt that familiar pain shot through his lower half. He didn't like the thought of his mate getting hurt, but at least it brought him back.

I didn't hurt anyone…I didn't hurt anyone…

All these sick thoughts made him want to throw up, he would, but there was nothing he could throw up. He was thankful that Obito stopped him from carrying out any of those thoughts, the older raven held him pinned down for what felt like hours and Shisui didn't dare to check how long he actually lost control over his body.

I didn't hurt anyone…

The pain that he got transferred from his mate however was different, it was the same pain, but he could feel something was off and for some reason Shisui felt suicidal. Once again his mate got hurt and he didn't do anything, apart from blurting out insane shit and giving the majority of his family a trauma.

I…didn't….

Yeah…he did…his mate was hurt…again…and he didn't do anything. Itachi was permanently traumatized too, Obito would probably suck it up but he knew he hurt him too, Kakashi was hurt too…Everyone was hurt…and it was all Shisui's fault…

I…

He clenched his eyes shut and covered his ears, there was not even a voice, he simply wanted to shield himself from the world. He tried, he honestly tried, but he couldn't hold back the tears anymore. The salty warm droplets run down his icy cheeks, leaving wet marks on the fabric covering his knees after a while when he pulled them close to his upper body. All this pain…the pain that wasn't even his pain…he felt it all…and it was too much…

...

To know that all this pain he felt wasn't his, but his mate's pain, made it even worse. He searched everywhere, but the closer he got to find him the further away he seemed to be. Every time he thought he had him, it wasn't him after all. He was nothing. A huge disappointment. To everyone.

...

He didn't want to give up…not like he did earlier…he didn't want to drag anyone down with him…he was sick of hurting the people he loved…he was sick of the person he loved the most being hurt so much…

...

Even if he would never meet him…he loved him…he truly did…he just wanted it to stop…he wanted his mate to stop hurting…no matter the costs…he would do everything to make him stop hurting…but it was too late…

...

He could feel the thick blood leaving his body. Drop by drop. Out of the two thick cuts along his forearms. It didn't even hurt when they showed up. This was it. This was the last time his mate would be hurting. And of course he couldn't feel it. Because the curse was cruel. Hot tears were falling from his cheeks into the puddles of blood that formed on the mattress.

I love you…

Did you guys make it out alive?

I hope so...

If you did I would be happy about your review and thank you for reading!

And don't worry I won't add notes to every chapter but this is the first and I'm curious. Did you like it? Did you hate it? Do you want me to jump off a cliff?

Also feel free to send a message!

Next chapter coming soon!