I open my lungs dear
I sing this song at funerals…no rush.
These lyrics heard a thousand times, just plush.
She stood with his family, her baby in her arms. She couldn't believe that this was where it was all ending. He had done something stupid that had cost him his life, and had cost his son the vital memories of his father. He didn't even know she was pregnant, nor did he know that there was a baby in this world that carried his genes and his last name.
"Elijah was a good man, he was something I never thought I would have known a man to be." She spoke as she bounced her little boy, Elijah Jason Goldsworthy II, in her arms.
A baby boy you've held so tightly,
This pain it visits almost nightly
Missing hotel beds, I feel your touch.
She now knew how much the pain of him being gone was doubling, tripling, even quadrupling now that she lay in bed all alone, and her baby boy in his crib in the nursery of her apartment. She thought back to the last time that she had seen Elijah. It was almost a year ago, seeing as little Eli was just about two months old. She remembered running through the airport, hoping to catch him before he boarded that dreadful plane that would take him across the world and away from her for as long as he decided he didn't want to acknowledge her presence.
"Elijah, wait, please, don't go." She pleaded with him to not go. It was the week after she was supposed to get her period and she was late. She knew what it meant.
"Why should I stay? There's nothing here for me. My parents don't care, and it seems like you've lost all interest so why stay?"
"THIS IS THE LAST CALL FOR BOARDING, FLIGHT 24 TO LOS ANGELES CALIFORNA BOARD AT GATE 35A. I REPEAT THIS IS THE LAST CALL FOR FLIGHT 24 TO LOS ANGELES CALIFORNIA."
Elijah looked up towards the speaker, knowing he didn't really have a choice now. He planted a soft kiss on the girls' cheek before muttering his good-bye and jogging down the hallway towards the gate he was to be at.
He turned around as he reached his gate and looked back her way.
"I LOVE YOU, CLARE DIANE EDWARDS, DON'T YOU EVER FORGET THAT!" he screamed down the hallway, making sure she heard him. He turned and walked through the gate so he could board the plane before it took off.
"My period is late. That's why you should stay." she whispered. A single tear ran down her cheek before she turned around and left the airport.
I will wait dear, a patient of eternity, my crush.
A universe so still.
No Rust.
Clare went home, not knowing what to do. She knew she was stressed out with school but she didn't think that she was stressed enough to actually be late with her period. She shook her head and looked at the picture frame that was on her bedside table. It held a photo of her and Elijah. The photo was professionally taken at their senior prom, the year before.
Not dust will ever grow on this frame.
One million years, I will say your name.
I love you more than I can ever scream.
Clare buried her head into her pillow, the tears soaking her pillow case. She held the picture frame to her, trying to keep him as close as she could without him actually being there with her.
We booked our flight those years ago,
I said I love you as I left you.
Regrets still haunt my hollow head.
But I promised you I will see you again, again.
The conversation Clare had had with Elijah the night before his flight was to leave. She hated that they had fought over something that was so stupid that she couldn't even remember what they had fought over exactly.
"I know you don't want me to go, Clare, but I promise I'll be back before you graduate college, I'll be in the audience when you cross the stage with your college class." Clare nodded as a tear rolled down her cheek. '
"Ok, Elijah, I'll take your word for it."
She hung up her phone and cuddled with the bear he had given her when they hit their one year anniversary. She didn't want him to leave her, never mind leave the state.
I sit here and smile dear
I smile because I think of you and I blush.
These bleeding hollow dials… this fuss.
Clare knew something was wrong, her period was late by three months and she though the worse was what was going to happen to her. She went to the pharmacy and got a pregnancy test.
She was thankful for fast food restaurants having public bathrooms, she couldn't go home and do something like this, and her mother would kill her.
The three minute wait felt like an eternity, especially when she looked at the stick every two seconds hoping for the result to just pop up.
Clare's heart dropped when she saw what the result really was.
A fuss made of miles and travels.
When roadways are but stones and gravel.
A bleeding heart can conquer every crutch.
Elijah sat in his hotel room, his heart aching. He didn't want to leave her but he thought that that was what was needed so she could get her life back on track. He knew what had happened the one night that they had been intimate. The condom had broken, but he didn't want to worry her. He didn't think anything would come of it.
We booked our flight those years ago,
you said you loved me as you left me.
Regrets still haunt your saddened head
But I promised you I will see you,
He soon regretted not telling her what had happened. He wondered if she had gotten pregnant, if she was now carrying someone that would carry on his genes and continue the Goldsworthy family.
He stepped out of his hotel room and misjudged the steps. He fell down three flights of stairs. His internal organs suffered the worst of the blows, internal bleeding followed, which was now the cause of death that was listed on his death certificate.
We booked our flight those years ago
I said I loved you as I left you
Regrets no longer in my head,
But I promised you and now I'm home again, again, again, again, again, again.
She looked down at her beloved as she bounced her little boy in her arms again. She remembered the promise that he'd be back one day, but she didn't think he'd be back in a casket. She planted a soft kiss on his forehead then kissed her baby.
"See, Elijah, that's your daddy, he's not going to be around because God had other plans for him, but Mommy will always be here to tell you all about your daddy.
I'm home again.