A/N: This is a Holly Snow and Jethro love story that I thought would be a just a short little number. It grew and has taken up most of my summer. It's all written and I hope to have it all posted in the next week. I had hoped to have it all up before Tuesday the 22nd but that won't happen because it's too long and it's already Sunday night. However these will be fairly long chapters and short intervals between postings. As always, when medical stuff appears don't get too caught up in it and its correctness. May be a little OOC for Jethro but who knows what he'd be like if he was happy? Hope you enjoy.
To Retire or Not to Retire
Chapter One
Jethro got in his truck and pulled out his phone.
Once he had the phone in hand he saw it was turned off. He remembered he had turned it off when he left town and only turned it on a couple of times since then. When it was turned on once he got a call from Alex asking him to come talk to her and that was why he was sitting in his truck in the parking lot of her office. He started the truck so the heater would kick in and looked at the phone. He had seven missed calls and three messages all of which he had seen before but ignored. Before he pulled out of the parking lot he listened to the messages. The first one was from DiNozzo, the second from Ducky and the last one was from Holly. That one he paid attention to.
"Jethro, I'm worried about you. I've called you three times and finally called Ducky who said he doesn't know where you are. Please call me."
That was exactly what he was planning to do. Jethro backed out as he punched in Holly's speed dial number. He hoped she was home because after spending a couple of hours talking to Alex he really wanted to see her. She answered on the second ring.
"Jethro? Finally! Are you alright?"
"I'm fine. Been out of town for a few days. Are you home? I'd like to see you."
"Yes, I'm home. Come over, I want to see you too. Are you sure you're alright?"
"I'm good. I'll be there in about twenty minutes."
"Have you eaten? I could get something ready."
"I ate a while ago. Don't worry about me, Holly. I just want to see you. I'm on my way."
"Okay. See you soon."
Holly Snow and Jethro had been friends for several years now and more than just friends for almost two years. Theirs was certainly not a conventional relationship partly because he is a Federal Agent and she is a famous, former madam in DC. She is no longer in the business and in fact is now very successfully working in the private, non-profit sector so their being together doesn't break any rules or regulations. Holly isn't sure they would care about rules or regulations at this point anyway. She knew she certainly didn't and Jethro had never been a strictly by-the-book sort of fellow anyway. Sometimes she wondered how he had managed to succeed in the Marine Corps and as an NCIS agent when both of those organizations were fairly strict about following the rules.
She and Jethro enjoyed a robust life together though few of their friends or co-workers knew they were a couple. They traveled together, spent the majority of their time away from work together, and enjoyed just being at home with each other. To Holly's great delight, Jethro was well read, was a good cook and very easy to be with. He was also a wonderful lover; very thoughtful and attentive, and she doubted she would ever have enough of him. She was careful with her feelings where men were concerned but over the past year she had slowly but surely fallen in love with this complex contradiction of a man. There was nothing to be done about it and Holly was content with their situation just as it was.
As he drove toward Holly's condo in Roslyn, Jethro tried to put some of his conversation with Alex out of his mind. It had been a good thing to meet with her and talk about what had happened in the last week but now he wanted to concentrate on Holly and what was next. Diane's murder still haunted him of course but for the rest of tonight he didn't want that to be the main topic. He wanted what Alex had said he needed; comfort. Alex was a confidant and a very important person in Jethro's life but they both knew she couldn't offer him what Holly did. Jethro trusted Alex with all his secrets and all his hurts but he had given Holly his heart and that was a lot different. He was okay with telling Holly the bare bones of what had happened but he didn't want her to hear all the ugliness of the last week. She was certainly capable of hearing it and handling it but Jethro just didn't want her to be exposed to all he dealt with. It was hard to put some of the bad stuff out of your mind once you'd heard it and he figured why put that in her head if he didn't have to. Besides, talking was not what he wanted to do with Holly tonight.
Holly lived in a very secure condominium complex and tonight Jethro was glad she was in a safe place. There was a nagging thought in the back of his mind that her closeness to him might put her in some danger. They would have to talk about that. Later. Jethro arrived and punched in the security code for the parking garage. Getting out of his truck he caught a glimpse of himself in the window and was glad the security guard in the lobby knew him because he realized he looked pretty rough. Not like the sort of fellow who would be allowed in the place unless he was known. Sure enough when he stepped through the lobby doors and approached the bank of elevators the guard spoke up.
"Damn Gibbs you look like hell!"
"You should see the other guy. How's it going Ben?"
"All good. You okay?"
"Yeah. Just a little misunderstanding."
"Right. Have a good night, Gibbs."
"Thanks Ben."
Jethro stepped into the elevator and pushed the button for the fifth floor. He was suddenly very tired. The elevator arrived on Holly's floor and Jethro made his way to her door. He knocked and then used his key to go in.
"Hey?"
Holly appeared from the living room and boy was she a sight for sore eyes. She was wearing dark brown slacks and a cream colored v-neck sweater, her hair was down and she had on almost no makeup. Jethro noticed she was wearing the silver starfish earrings he bought her in Puerto Rico a few months ago. She was beautiful. Jethro smiled as she approached him and tried to keep the worried look off her face.
"I know, I look a mess. Sorry."
"Don't say that. You do look a mess but I don't care. I'm just happy to see you."
Holly stepped into his space, wrapped her arms around him and held on tight. Jethro ran his fingers through her hair and breathed in her scent; something barely flowery with a hint of musk. He loved it and knew she wore it whenever she knew he was coming. Holly loosened her grip and took his face in her hands looking deep into his blue eyes. She loved getting lost in there but tonight she saw a lot of hurt and exhaustion lurking in those baby blues. She kissed him. Soft, barely-there kisses all over his face paying particular, gentle attention to the bruises, before she settled on his mouth and kissed him in a way that told him how very glad she was to have him there.
Jethro let his hands roam up her back and then under the sweater to stroke her soft skin. She was making some low noises as he touched her and Jethro pushed her against the wall and took the kiss to another level. When they had to have a breath, Jethro kissed his way down her throat and over to a point under her ear that he loved to nibble on. Holly was pulling at him trying to get closer but they were already as close as they could be. She tugged his head back around and kissed him again, urging him on, pushing her tongue in his mouth and tasting him to her heart's content. Jethro pushed against her with his hips and she knew they probably needed to get out of the hallway pretty soon.
Eventually they had to have some real breaths so they reluctantly pulled apart. Holly ran her fingers carefully over his bruised face and kissed him lightly on each eye.
"I'm glad you're here, Jethro."
"I can tell." There was just a hint of laughter, the first he'd been able to muster in a while.
"Are you hurt anywhere else?"
"No."
He hadn't relinquished his grip on her and he leaned in to kiss her softly on the mouth. He wanted to tell her how much she meant to him but the words wouldn't come. They would later but right now he was reduced to feeling and needing; he was all talked out.
"Would you like a drink? I have been so worried about you. I know about Diane and I'm very sorry. Let's go sit down."
She took him by the hand and led him into the living room. Jethro loved this condo. It was expensive and very tastefully decorated but it had a very comfortable and relaxed feeling. The furniture was plush and inviting, there were lots of shelves full of all kinds of books and a couple of beautiful paintings on the walls. Jethro felt at home here. The kitchen had all the modern conveniences you could ask for and the bedroom had a king size bed that he really liked. But the best part of the whole place-besides the owner of course-was the shower. Holly had the best shower Jethro had ever seen. It was huge and had water outlets coming from all directions. There was even a bench seat at the back that had water jets at just the right spots for your back. Needless to say, they used the shower a lot and not just for bathing. There was also a spa tub that was really more like a two-person hot tub. Used that a lot too.
Holly sank onto the couch and pulled Jethro down with her. He thought he might not be able to get up again. She snuggled in close to him and rested her head on his shoulder.
"Let's just sit here for a little bit, okay?"
"Sure, you just let me know what you want to do. It's all about you tonight, Jethro."
Jethro loved being alone and quiet like this with Holly. He was a very tactile person and he liked having his hands on the woman he was with. He liked that she wanted lots of physical contact too. Jethro liked a lot of things about Holly Snow of course. He liked the way they fit together, both comfortable with silence and careful about keeping their personal lives under the radar. He liked that she made him laugh and she never pried when he wanted to be alone. Those times were less and less frequent but there were still times when he needed to be in his basement alone to work things out in his mind. Lately, he had come to realize he more often wanted to be here, with Holly, to work things out. She was a good listener with a knack for understanding people and seeing different angles to situations. He appreciated that they were friends before they became lovers and they had always been honest with each other even when that honesty was painful. He had told her about Shannon and Kelly in the very beginning and she had taken that horrible story in stride. In short, Jethro loved Holly and was as happy and content as he could ever remember being.
About ten seconds before he was going to be sound asleep, Holly's phone rang. She groaned and pulled herself up to go find the accursed device. Jethro shook himself and stood up. Holly was standing by the fireplace with the phone to her ear. He whispered to her that he was going to go take a shower. Holly covered the phone and beckoned him to her with an elegant finger.
"I'll be in there soon."
"I won't hurry then." He kissed her on the cheek and disappeared down the hall to the master bathroom.
Jethro began shedding his clothes as he walked down the hall to the bedroom. He had been wearing the same thing for days and suddenly wondered how Holly could stand to be close to him. He dropped his shirts on the floor of the bathroom, toed off his boots and stepped out of his pants, underwear and socks. Then he stepped into his favorite room in the house; the shower. Along the back wall was a cubby type shelf holding two kinds of shower gel, shampoo, shave cream and razors. There was one of each for him and one of each for Holly plus some other stuff for her that Jethro assumed helped her smell and look so damn good all the time. He turned on the water as hot as he could stand it and let it beat down from the rainwater head in the ceiling. After a while he grabbed some shaving gel and a razor and using the anti-fog mirror, he set about getting rid of several days growth of beard. Once he was clean-shaven he rinsed off his face and reached for the shower gel and a scrub thingy. He never knew what to call those nylon scrubbers but he liked them; especially when Holly was using it on him. He wondered how much longer the phone call would last. Before that question got completely through his brain the lady in question stepped into the shower.
"You started without me."
"Just shaved, still plenty for you to help with."
Holly stepped up close to him and let her fingers glide over his freshly shaven face. There were few things in life Holly enjoyed more than having her hands on Jethro Gibbs and having her hands on him when they were both naked was the best of the best.
"You know I kinda like you with a few days of scruff. I like how it feels when I kiss you."
"Didn't want to get you all roughed up."
"Really? You know I like it when you "rough me up". She had a glint in her eyes and a big smile on her face.
"Oh don't worry I plan to do some of that. Don't like to leave whisker burn on you."
Jethro's hands were busy exploring the curves and soft skin he knew so well. He was already hard and aching for her but he wanted to make this last.
"That's what make-up is for, love; to hide evidence."
"Not worried about some place you use make-up."
Holly laughed out loud and closed the small distance that had been separating them. She kissed her way across his chest and teased a nipple with her tongue while her hands cupped his ass and pulled him against her. She could feel his cock hard between them and she wanted him desperately. Jethro raised her head with his thumbs under her chin and his fingers tunneling into her hair. He kissed her hard and deep, devouring her as he pushed her back against the tile. Hot water was shooting at them from three sides but neither of them even noticed. All that existed in that moment was the two of them.
Holly reached between them and wrapped her hand around him, stroking him and directing him between her legs. She had been so afraid for him for the last few days and so fearful she'd never have this again.
"I need you now, please, Jethro. I need you so much."
He hitched her left leg around his hip and entered her without hesitation. They had done this innumerable times and it never got old. He loved shower sex even if it was sometimes a bit dangerous. Jethro had plenty of strength to hold onto her and the enjoyment was well worth the risk.
Holly let her head fall back against the tile and Jethro thrust into her slowly at first and then quickened his pace as he raised her up just a fraction to improve his angle. Holly cried out at the new position and he doubled his intensity, kissing and biting her neck while she dug her nails into his shoulders and made lots of appreciative noises. She opened her eyes and found Jethro watching her with a small smile on his face. She leaned into his mouth and kissed him, her tongue mimicking what he was doing to her with his cock.
"Don't stop, don't ever stop, babe."
His response was to bury himself even deeper inside her. He moved one of his hands from holding her ass around to stroke her as he continued to move in and out of her, urging her on to her release.
"Oh god, just keep touching me there, I'm coming. Come with me Jethro."
"I'm with you. Just let go, I've got you."
He circled her clit and rubbed her hard and she exploded around him. Jethro stopped moving for just a moment then, holding her firmly with both hands he thrust into her twice more before spilling himself inside her. He held her in his arms until they were both breathing normally then moved back to the middle of the shower taking her with him.
"You okay?"
"Better than okay. I've been so worried about you. Why didn't you call me?"
"You were in New York. It was crazy and I needed to just get away. Sorry I worried you."
Holly picked up the scrubber and squirted some of his shower gel onto it then ran it over his back and shoulders. She worked her way around to his chest and took her time making sure every inch of him was clean. She was letting her hand wander down to stroke his cock when he grasped her wrist carefully and stopped her.
"My turn."
Jethro poured some shower gel into his palm, rubbed his hands together and proceeded to cover every inch of the beautiful woman in front of him. He spent extra time on her breasts and while he made sure her back and her butt were nice and clean he took the opportunity to kiss her again. He pulled her legs up carefully washing each one in turn. When his hand descended to wash her vagina she didn't stop him. He gently stroked her, pulling her under the water at the same time to wash away the soap. Holly had her arms around his neck and she ran one foot up the back of his leg while she enjoyed his touches.
"Let's take this to the bed, okay?" Jethro looked at her with sleepy eyes and Holly knew he needed sleep more than he needed sex at the moment.
"Yes, that is a very good idea. You look like you need about ten hours of sleep, my love."
"I probably do but I figure I have maybe just enough awake time left to make love to you once before I pass out. You interested in that?"
"What do you think?"
"I think we better get started then."
They rinsed off and Jethro turned off the water as Holly stepped out to get them towels. They dried each other off, sort of, and Holly took a few minutes to dry her hair. Jethro went into the bedroom, turned down the bed and sat on the side of the bed watching Holly brush out her hair and get it dry. She turned to look at him, sitting there naked and half asleep. She was surprised he didn't fall over.
"What happened to your handsome face, Jethro?"
"Fornell. He was pretty torn up about Diane."
"He blames you?"
"Yeah."
"You blame you?"
Jethro looked at her standing there holding a hair dryer in one hand, a brush in the other, completely nude and looking very worried about him. He felt a rush of almost overwhelming affection for this beautiful, compassionate, very intelligent and very powerful woman. He wondered what in the hell she saw in him.
"Some. Hard not to. Workin' on it."
"Have you talked to Alex about this?"
"Tonight. Called you from her parking lot."
"So, you being here tonight is her idea?" There was just a tiny bit of an edge in the question.
Jethro heard the edge so he got up and walked into the bathroom. He stood behind Holly and moving her hair to one side he kissed her on the shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her and looked at the two of them in the mirror. Holly put down the dryer and the brush and put her hands on his. She leaned back against him and their eyes met in the reflection of the mirror
"No. My being here is because I love you and I missed you and I needed to be with you. She did remind me that you deserve my honesty and my willingness to let you in for the bad stuff. You know Alex and I have a relationship that is nothing like what you and I have."
"Yes, I do know that and I'm glad you have her. I'm sorry for the bitchy way I asked that question. It was totally uncalled for. Please don't ever try to protect me from what's going on with you."
Jethro rested his chin on the top of her head and smiled at her.
"I promise. Now, if you don't come to bed with me right now you're going to miss out on the fun part of going to bed."
Holly reached over and turned off the light. She shifted around to face him then slipped out of his grip and ran for the bed. She jumped on the bed and laid down on her back with her arms spread. She was laughing at him and it was the best sound he'd heard in a week. Jethro wasted no time pouncing on her and the "fun part" got underway.
Sometimes with Jethro and Holly sex was more about sex than about making love. They both enjoyed it rough sometimes, urgent and demanding of each other. That was not what it was tonight. The urgency that Jethro had felt when he arrived had been taken care of in the shower. Holly's overwhelming desire had been sated and she was able to enjoy going slower with him this time. Jethro kissed her over and over, barely letting her catch her breath before he was back for more. His hands, big and rough from hard work, were gentle as he explored the body beneath him. He knew every place that drove her mad and every place that made her laugh and he spent time on each one of them. He kissed and tasted every bit of her and when he was finished she could barely breathe.
They spoke very little when they were together like this; what was there to say when the person you loved was giving you everything you could ever want just by touching you and loving you? When Jethro finally entered her, Holly wrapped herself around him and told him she loved him. She didn't last long because he had spent so much time driving her mad. When her orgasm washed over them, Jethro wasn't far behind and when Holly raked her nails down his back and thrust up to meet him he was gone. He held himself over her and gently sucked one nipple as he emptied himself into her. Then he collapsed, careful not to let all his weight fall on her. Once their bodies began to return to normal, Jethro pulled her against him and kissed her softly.
Holly rested her head on his shoulder, their legs tangled and her arm slung across his chest. She kissed his jaw and caressed his face carefully.
"Go to sleep, lover boy."
Jethro didn't need to be told twice. He tightened his grip on her and before she knew it he was sound asleep. Holly lovingly ran her fingers through the soft hair on his chest and settled against him, pulling the covers over their cooling bodies. She didn't fall asleep immediately. Instead she lay snuggled up with her lover and thought about their night. Jethro's lovemaking tonight reminded her of the time right after his father's death. Holly closed her eyes and let her tired mind wander back to those days many months before.
It was a Tuesday and Holly had planned to fix dinner for them at Jethro's house because he wanted to work on the doll house he was building for Amira's birthday. He and the team had been working crazy hours so he hadn't had much time at home and the birthday was fast approaching. She arrived at the house in the late afternoon and was surprised to see Jethro's car in the driveway. He was so rarely home before six or seven she was immediately afraid something was wrong. She entered the house using her key-the door was always locked now that she and Jethro were together so much-and found Jethro sitting on the couch. She had her hands full of grocery bags so she took them to the kitchen then went back to sit down and find out what was going on.
"Jethro, are you alright? What are you doing home?"
When he looked at her she could see tears in his eyes and she knew immediately it was Jackson. No one else could evoke this kind of emotion in Jethro. Holly was very fond of Jethro's dad and she felt sick with apprehension about what he was going to say.
"Tell me." She reached for his hands and squeezed, offering her support.
"Dad's gone. A stroke this morning."
She pulled him into a hug and couldn't help the tears that ran down her cheeks.
"Oh, baby I'm sorry. So, so sorry."
Jethro held onto her but he forced his tears back. He wasn't ready for that yet.
"I need to go to Stillwater and take care of things. I'll be gone a couple of days probably."
"Do you want me to come with you?"
"I do but I think I better go alone. I need to absorb this, Holly and figure out what to do with the store and everything. Give me a couple of days and then come up. Okay?"
"Of course. Whatever you need, Jethro you know that. What can I do to help you?"
"Let's have dinner like we planned. I'm going down to work on the doll house. I'll leave early in the morning."
The rest of the evening, Jethro was his old, stoic self. He talked only very briefly about his dad a couple of times but mostly he was silent. Holly had met Jackson when she and Jethro first became serious about each other and she was very fond of him. He told her the last time they were in Stillwater that he was very happy she and Jethro were together. He said he hadn't seen his son so happy in a very long time. That made Holly feel good and she would always be grateful that Jack had shared that with her.
Jethro had left early the next morning but they talked on the phone several times over the next two days. Holly was going up for the funeral even though it would mean other people would realize she and Jethro were more than just old acquaintances. Unfortunately, the morning she was to leave, Holly woke up with a terrible stomach bug. She was sick for next two days and was barely able to move from the bed to the bathroom and back again, so of course going to Stillwater was out of the question. She was terribly disappointed not to be there for Jethro but there was nothing to be done about it. She wondered if he was at least somewhat relieved not to have their relationship out in the open just yet. He wasn't ashamed or embarrassed about them being together but he fiercely guarded his private life and having her at his father's funeral would likely have caused more talk than he wanted to deal with. Holly didn't care about people knowing but she too, liked her privacy.
Jethro stayed another two days after the funeral to clear out the house and take care of the legal aspects of turning the store over to the young man who had been working for Jackson when he died. Jethro had asked Holly her opinion of what he wanted to do which pleased her more than she could say. She told him she thought it was a fine idea and one Jackson would be happy with. By the time Jethro finally got back to DC, Holly was feeling her old self. She had dinner ready when he walked in the door of the condo.
They stood together, wrapped in each other's arms in the middle of the kitchen for along time. Jethro didn't say anything for the longest time until finally he told he'd missed her and asked how she was feeling. She assured him she was fine. They ate supper and cleaned up the kitchen together, talking about Stillwater, what Jethro had done about different things and then nothing at all. Before they could get out of the kitchen Jethro's phone rang and he had to go to work. Holly didn't see him again for a couple of days.
The next time Holly saw Jethro was in the basement of his house. She went over looking for him because he wasn't answering his phone and when she had called Ducky, he said Jethro wasn't at work. She found him sitting on a stool with a jar of bourbon in his hand. He was staring at a small, wooden boat that was propped up on an overturned miter box. He looked up at her and smiled when she stepped off the bottom stair.
"Hey."
"Hey yourself. I was worried. You didn't answer your phone."
Jethro pulled his phone out of his pocket and looked at it.
"It's off. Sorry. You know you shouldn't worry about me."
"Maybe not but I do. Tough case?"
"Nothing unusual. Just took too long."
She pointed at the small boat. "What's this?"
"My dad and I built it when I was about eight or nine. I tied a string on the bow and pulled it around the lake behind our house." His voice broke then and he barely managed to say, "Named it after my mom."
Holly stepped between his knees and Jethro wrapped his arms around her waist. He laid his head on her chest and cried for the first time since Leon had told him Jack was dead. Holly rubbed his back and held him while he finally let his grief and loneliness come flooding out. She bent her head down and kissed the top of his head. They stayed like that for a few minutes until Jethro sat back and wiped his eyes. Holly slipped off her heels which meant they were almost eye to eye with Jethro seated on the tall stool. She leaned in and kissed him and Jethro wasted no time at all taking the kiss to a serious level. His hands slipped up under her top and Holly leaned in closer. The kiss went on and on until finally Jethro let her catch her breath. He didn't let go of her though and his mouth was ghosting over her neck and jaw and very soon back to her mouth. This went on for a while until Holly pulled away enough to be able to speak.
"Maybe we should take this upstairs."
"Yes, we should. I have something I want to say first. I've wanted to tell you this for a while but I just haven't been able to. I guess the last few days have made me realize I shouldn't keep stopping myself."
"Sounds serious." Holly had her hands on either side of head, running her fingers through his hair. The look in his eyes told her he was indeed serious about whatever it was he wanted to say.
"Is to me." Jethro framed her face with his big hands and softly ran his thumbs across her cheekbones. He could never get enough of looking at this woman; she was so beautiful and he always felt better when he was with her no matter what the day, or night, had thrown at him.
He leaned into her and kissed her a sweet, clingy kiss on the mouth. Then he looked her right in the eyes and said, "I love you, Holly."
Holly blinked away a sudden rush of tears and closed her eyes to keep them at bay. When she opened her eyes and looked at Jethro she saw the absolute truth of what he'd said reflected in his eyes. It wasn't the first time he'd said those words to her but it was the first time he'd said them while he had clothes on. Holly had learned a long time ago to pay little or no attention to what a man said in the throes of passion. Jethro had certainly whispered his 'I love yous' to her while he had her pinned to the bed, or the wall of the shower or the kitchen counter, but he'd never said it without sex being involved. This declaration meant everything to Holly.
"Oh Jethro. I love you too, you know that, right?"
"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to tell you how I feel."
"Why were you stopping yourself before?"
"Scared I guess."
"About?"
"What comes next. What do I do about it?"
"Next you take me upstairs and show me what you mean! You don't have to do anything, Jethro. We're fine the way we are and you being able to say how you feel shouldn't change that. Not unless we want it to. I'm happy with the life we have together. Are you?"
"Yes. I haven't been this happy in a very long time. I don't want to change anything. I just wanted you to know how much you mean to me, Holly. I wanted you to hear me say, I love you, when I'm dressed and sober!
That earned him a light punch in the chest and very sweet kiss. That night didn't signal any great change in their relationship but it did signal the addition of another layer to their care for each other. Without knowing it, Holly had been waiting for Jethro to tell her he loved her and now that he had she allowed herself to relax and enjoy their relationship even more. She wasn't really bothered by their shared desire for secrecy but sometimes she admitted to herself that she wished they could be more open about their life together. Maybe someday she told her herself.
Holly felt Jethro becoming restless in the bed beside her and she was drawn from her memories back to the present. She slipped out of bed and went to the bathroom, returning a moment later with two pills and a glass of water. She sat down on the side of the bed and put her hand carefully on Jethro's shoulder. She called his name and when he stilled and opened his eyes she knew it was a bad dream that had caused his restlessness.
Holding out her hand with the pills in her palm she said, "Here, take these. They'll help you relax and sleep."
"What are they?"
"Just benadryl. I promise you'll wake up on time and ready to go."
"I was asleep."
"Just barely. You're very restless and you need to relax. Trust me. I take them all the time when you're not here."
That got his attention. He took the pills and swallowed some water to wash them down.
"Come back to bed."
Holly turned off the light in the bathroom and got back into bed. She let Jethro pull her close and she kissed him on the cheek.
"Why do you take pills when I'm not here?"
"I don't sleep as well when you're not here."
"I'm not sure if that makes me feel good or not."
"It doesn't have to make you feel any way. It's just a fact; you have spoiled me for sleeping alone."
"Well, I guess for your health I better try and sleep with you more often."
"That would be a very fine solution. Now, you go to sleep. I know you want to get back to work tomorrow."
"Yeah, I need to talk to you about that. Tomorrow."
"Okay."
She kissed him on the mouth and settled into his side.
"Go to sleep. I love you."
"Love you back."
Between the benadryl working it's magic and having the woman he loved snuggled in his arms, Jethro was asleep in about thirty seconds. Holly listened to his soft snoring and felt him completely relaxed all around her and she too, drifted off to sleep.
When Jethro woke up the next morning at six thirty, he was alone in the bed. He stretched and rolled over to discover his bed mate was gone. The sheets were cool so she'd been up for a while. Jethro went into the bathroom, relieved himself, brushed his teeth and pulled on some sweat pants and a tee shirt. He went in search of Holly and hot coffee, finding both in the kitchen. He stepped behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.
"Morning."
"Good morning handsome. You slept well, I gather."
"Sure did. Thanks."
Holly turned in his arms and kissed him lightly on the mouth.
"Any time. Want some breakfast before you go?"
"Only if you promise to share a shower with me after."
"I think that can be arranged. Sit down and tell my what happened between you and Fornell. If you want to."
Jethro poured himself a cup of coffee and sat at the breakfast bar while Holly started breakfast. He sighed and absently rubbed his jaw where Fornell had punched him. It was still a bit tender.
"He came into autopsy and punched me before I even knew what was happening. He was pretty messed up about Diane. Can't say I blame him."
Holly turned from the stove and looked at him. He saw her watching him and knew she was waiting for the rest of the story. She seemed able to read him as well as any woman he'd ever been with. That bothered him for about four minutes when he first realized it and after that he kinda liked it. It meant he didn't have to waste a lot of time telling her stuff because she already had it figured out.
"What else, Jethro?"
She asked with an easy, interested tone that always got him talking. It said she cared about him, not just about what happened but about what it meant to him. When she turned back to tend to the eggs he told her the rest of it.
"He told me to stay away from Emily. Told me not to talk to her at all about what happened to her mom. Told me I wasn't to have any contact with her at all. That hurt a lot more than getting punched in the face."
"Yes, I'm sure it did. He'll take that back when he calms down, don't you think?"
"That's what Alex said. I hope he does."
"He will."
Holly plated the eggs and pulled the toast out of the toaster and put it all on the bar along with a bowl of strawberries. She sat down next to Jethro and they ate in easy silence. As he put down his fork after finishing his breakfast, Jethro sighed and leaned over to kiss Holly on the side of her head.
"We need to talk about the next few days. I'm worried about you being targeted by Sergei."
"You think he knows about me?"
There was no fear or concern in her voice. Not for the first time, Jethro marveled at her calm demeanor in the face of what could be a rather significant threat.
"I have to think he does. Can you leave town for a few days?"
"Yes."
"That was too easy. What's the catch?"
Holly smiled at him and reached up to wipe toast crumbs from his chin. It was fairly unusual that she could surprise Jethro and it always pleased her when she did.
"I was actually planning to be away this week but when all this happened I changed my plans so I could be here for you. I can change them back if you think I need to be gone. Although, I don't really like the idea of not being here with you."
"I'll be working non-stop until this guy is caught. I don't want to worry about you and I will if you're here. What plans did you change?"
"I was going to spend a few days in Tampa working with a group starting a shelter there and then go see Sarah in Sanibel for a long weekend. She has the condo for the month and invited me down last week when I told her about the meeting in Tampa."
"I think you should go. I hope we catch this guy in the next few days but I'll feel a lot better if you're not here to be a target."
Holly turned on her seat to face him and reached for his hands.
"I'll go on one condition. You promise to come down when you've caught him. Spend some time with me at the beach."
"Not sure Sarah would appreciate that."
"This is her last week there; she has to get back to Chicago next Monday. She has the option of keeping the condo for an additional week though so if you'll join me I'll take her option and stay."
"Deal."
Jethro leaned in and kissed her. When he pulled back he rested his forehead on hers and breathed her in.
"I love you so much. You are much too good to me, Holly."
"I don't think so. Jethro, you are the best man I know. I love you and being with you makes me happier than I have ever been."
Just then his phone rang and Jethro walked into the living room to talk to DiNozzo. Holly cleared up the breakfast dishes and as Jethro tossed his phone onto the couch she walked past him, grabbed his hand and pulled him along to the shower. It wasn't nearly as much fun as it had been last night because Jethro had to get going but still they managed a fair amount of kissing and touching along with the more traditional shower activity.
As they were dressing Jethro began getting into work mode; trying his best to close out the life he shared with Holly so he could concentrate on what he needed to do in the next few days. Most of the time his two lives complemented each other but at times like these; with a really difficult case, he often still needed to shut out everything but the work.
"Call me when you have your travel plans set. If you're going out anywhere call me and let me know, okay?"
"I will. I don't think I need to go anywhere so I'll get on the phone and get my plans settled. Promise me you'll be careful."
"I will."
"You have a plan?"
"Workin' on it. DiNozzo thinks they have a lead. Do you think you'll leave today?"
"If I can. I need to check with the woman who called me last week to make sure they still want me to work with them."
"I hope it didn't mess things up for you to stay here."
"It didn't. I'm sure I can still be of some help. They want to open a shelter modeled after the one we have going here so I imagine they'll still want to meet. Being here with you is more important than anything else anyway."
Jethro pulled on his boots then he wrapped his arms around her and held her close for a long couple of minutes. He nuzzled her hair and then kissed her.
"Call me before you leave. I'll see you this weekend."
"I'll call. You better be in Florida by Saturday or I'll come looking for you!"
"I'll be there. You be ready for lots of lovin' and very little else."
Holly kissed him and held on. She had a bad feeling about this guy Jethro was chasing.
"Promise me you'll be careful. I'm scared about this guy, Jethro."
"Nothing to be scared of. He's just like any other bad guy; he'll screw up and we'll get him. I won't let him keep me from you. Don't worry."
"I love you."
"Love you more. I gotta go. Call me."
Jethro left her standing in the bedroom and walked out. She heard the door close and only then did she let her tears fall. Despite his assurances, Holly was afraid. She knew Jethro was very competent and his team was as well but this guy seemed hell bent on hurting Jethro in any way he could before he killed him. That seemed to Holly to make him doubly dangerous. She shook herself and forced herself to get busy with her plans. If Jethro said he'd see her in Florida on Saturday then he'd be there. She had to believe that.
As reluctant as he was to leave Holly, Jethro knew he had to get back to work. His leaving and being out of touch with his team for several days was highly unusual but he hadn't felt he had any choice at the time. The killing of Diane had shaken him badly and he had needed time to come to grips with it and get his head together. Talking to Alex had helped and then having time with the woman he loved had helped some more. Now he was ready to get some justice for Diane and the other people Sergei had killed or hurt. He had four days to find the dirt bag before he was expected in Florida. Jethro hated to disappoint Holly so he didn't intend to miss that deadline.
DiNozzo met his boss as Jethro walked from his car to the front entrance of the Navy Yard. They talked about the lead Tony and McGee had developed in the past two days. There was no mention of the fact Tony had seen Jethro coming out of Alex's building the evening before. No mention of the fact that at the time Jethro had looked quite a bit worse for the wear. Tony did notice that his boss looked a helluva lot better this morning; he had shaved, bathed and apparently eaten well and slept well. In short, he looked like the Boss was supposed to look. Before they went inside DiNozzo stopped and Jethro looked at him in anticipation of hearing some questions about last night's brief encounter. DiNozzo had questions but they weren't about last night. It was hard to surprise Leroy Jethro Gibbs but Tony did so this morning.
"Boss, I've been thinking and…"
"Uh oh."
"You probably already have this covered but, well, I'm just wondering…"
"Spit it out DiNozzo."
"Do you think we should put some protection on Ms. Snow? You know with Sergei targeting people close to you, I'm thinking she might be in some danger. You probably already thought of that but just in case you didn't…"
Tony noticed his boss was looking at him but not saying anything. It seemed the Bossman was speechless. Not entirely a new phenomenon but not usually caused by anything Tony said.
"Boss?"
"Why would you, uh, how do you know about Holly?"
"Well, I've seen you two together a few times. You know out together eating and stuff. Palmer saw you and Ms. Snow at the Kennedy Center a few months ago and McGee saw the two of you at Tyson's a couple of weeks ago. It's a small city, Boss. We all know you're together. Plus, you, well you're happy. You've let you hair grow out a little bit and your wardrobe has taken a step up. We all think it's great by the way. So, should we be protecting her?"
Jethro was stunned. He really had no idea his team was aware of his relationship with Holly. He was also relieved. They hadn't exactly been hiding but he always felt just a bit restricted when they were out together. Now he wouldn't.
"It's taken care of. She's leaving for Florida on business today. Staying there until we catch this guy."
"Okay, good. Well, let's go catch him so she can come home."
"Abby?"
"Oh yeah. She was pretty worked up for a while but we convinced her to keep it to herself. She saw the two of you having dinner in Old Towne one night. Not sure she liked the idea at first which is probably why she didn't say anything to you. She's cool with it now. You know whatever makes you happy makes her happy."
Jethro just shook his head. He realized he had been much less observant about his team than he ever imagined he could be. He began to wonder what else he'd missed. Nothing important he hoped.
They started for the entrance but Jethro stopped and put his hand on Tony's arm stopping him.
"Thanks for asking Tony."
"No problem Boss."
They spent the morning going over all the evidence again but the conclusions were the same; they knew who the killer was but had no idea where he was. Jethro sent everyone out for lunch and he went down to talk to Ducky.
"Ah, Jethro, no real progress I assume?"
"You assume correctly. Got a few minutes, Duck?"
"Of course. How can I help you, my friend?"
Jethro sat down on the nearest autopsy table and rubbed his hands over his face. He was tired. And worried. The night spent with Holly had provided a brief revival of his energy but the morning spent in fruitless search for a killer had sapped most of that energy and now he was feeling the effects of too many sleepless nights and the unrelenting sense of failure this case caused him. When he didn't speak for long moments, Ducky took the initiative.
"Jethro, have you seen Ms. Snow since you got back to town?"
"Spent the night there last night. That's the only thing holding me together at the moment." He paused for a moment before adding, "Tony told me this morning they all know about the two of us."
"Yes, they figured it out a few weeks ago. Took them longer than I expected. Apparently you are not as covert as you were in the beginning."
Jethro just sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. Ducky was beginning to worry.
"Is that a problem for you?"
"No, I'm actually relieved. Kinda tired of feeling like I'm sneaking around all the time. Still don't want to advertise it but I'm glad they know. Tony was outside Alex's office last night when I left there. Probably have to explain that someday too."
"I doubt it. Tony is completely loyal to you Jethro. He won't mention it to anyone nor do I think he will ask you about it. Was she helpful?"
"Yeah. She fed me and listened to me. She helps. Holly was great, just worried and a little bit scared I think. Seems it takes two women to keep me going these days."
"You're lucky to have them. Now, what is your plan to deal with Sergei?"
"Wish I knew. Probably have to get the Russians on board somehow. Leon's workin' on that right now."
Doctor Mallard studied his friend and wondered what was really bothering him; beyond the obvious. He had known Jethro for many years and had seen him through many terrible times in their lives. The work they did was often dangerous and almost always emotionally challenging. Between that and Jethro's often difficult personal life, things could get tricky. The appearance of Jethro's second wife at the beginning of their current case had been both a surprise and an unwelcome distraction. Now, with Diane having been killed right in front of him, Jethro was undoubtedly working at the edge of his sanity. Having Holly Snow in his life would be a help but no one woman could be expected to navigate the minefield this situation had become for Jethro. Every turn this case took had thrown past tragedies in his face and Ducky knew it would take a long time for his friend to recover from these past several days.
Jethro was a complicated man who often tried the patience of even the old Scotsman. Ducky loved Jethro like a son so when Jethro was hurting, Ducky felt it as well. The fact that Ms. Snow was now a constant in his friend's life was something that gave Ducky hope that Jethro could finally manage to hold onto some happiness in his life. This case though, seemed to be exacting a terrible price on his friend.
"Have you seen Fornell since he was here?"
"No. Have you?"
"No. I suspect he is spending all his time with Emily."
At the mention of the young girl's name, Ducky saw a shadow pass over Jethro's face. He knew that Agent Fornell's insistence that Jethro stay away from her was yet another sadness for Gibbs to deal with. Another person Jethro felt responsible for was in middle of this terrible case.
"He will relent in his demand that you stay away from her, Jethro. I'm sure of it. And if he doesn't, I suspect Emily will find her way to you even without her father's permission. She loves you and she will need you now."
"Not sure that would be a good idea. I don't want to get between Fornell and his child. Maybe I'm not the person she needs right now anyway."
"Jethro, do not for a moment believe you are not important to that child and someone she needs. You are not to blame for what happened to Diane and I will not stand here and let you go down that path! I know these past days have been terribly difficult but you must draw on your considerable will and focus on what has to be done now. Once Sergei is dealt with there will be time to deal with all the fallout."
Jethro stood up and sighed. He started towards the door but stopped and turned back to Ducky. He started pacing back and forth between the desk and the door. He knew he needed to get back to work but there was something gnawing at him; something he needed to talk about with Ducky.
"What's really on your mind Jethro?"
"I just wonder if maybe it's not time to say, enough. Holly is going to Florida more or less to hide out from a maniac who wants to torture me before he kills me. He's using innocent people and people I care out to do that. Kate, Jenny, Mike, even Laura Macy, all dead because someone was after me. I can't keep doing this. I love Holly and I won't put her in the line of fire. Maybe it's time to walk away."
Ducky was somewhat surprised by what Jethro was saying but he couldn't say he disagreed. Maybe it was time for Jethro to retire and enjoy life with a beautiful woman who loved him. He might even say he thought it was a good idea.
"Well, perhaps you're right. But not just yet. Not until you have taken care of this bastard once and for all. Then, and only then, might it be time for you to consider how to spend the rest of your time. How best to enjoy the life you and Holly seem to be building."
Jethro smiled at his friend. He knew Ducky would understand. Just then his phone buzzed and he saw it was Holly calling. He flipped the phone open and Ducky saw him relax just a little bit. He stepped out of the room to give Jethro some privacy.
"Hey, Ducky and I were just talking about you."
"All good things I hope."
"Of course. Did you get a flight?"
"Yes, I'm heading for the airport in about twenty minutes. How are you? Any progress?"
"None. I wish I could take you to the airport but…"
"No, Paul is coming to take me. You catch this bastard and then come join me."
"That's the plan. Tell Paul I said thanks."
"I'll call you when I get settled this evening. I have a meeting in the morning and then we'll be busy most of the week but I'll keep in touch with you."
"Holly," Jethro had to stop and take a breath, his emotions were threatening to overtake him. "I'm sorry about this. I never want you to be in danger because of me."
"Hey, it's okay babe. I understand and it's really okay."
Jethro took some deep breaths. "I love you so much. I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you Holly."
It had been a while since Holly had heard Jethro so emotional. She knew this case was very difficult but she was sensing something else going on as well. She knew though, this was not the time to ask him any questions.
"Jethro, nothing is going to happen to me. Paul will make sure I get on the plane safely. I'll call you when I get to the hotel. You know I can take care of myself right?"
"I know but I don't want you to have to. That's my job."
There it was; the protective gene was rearing its head. Holly knew she needed to lighten the mood.
"Well, that's part of your job but certainly not all of it. We'll talk about your job description when you get here. Okay?"
"Okay. I'm just stressing about this case and I miss you already."
"Then I suggest you get back to work and catch the guy so you can get on a plane and come see me. I love you Jethro. I'll see you in a few days. Be careful."
"I will. I love you too. Bye."
Jethro stood in the quiet of the autopsy suite and said a silent prayer asking a God he only rarely spoke to anymore, to keep Holly safe. Somewhere deep in his soul, Jethro was sure Holly Snow was the last woman he was going to love and he didn't want to lose her. He wanted to have a lot more time with her. Finally he shook himself and headed back to work.
Ducky met him in the hallway.
"Everything alright?"
"Yes, she's on the way to the airport in an hour or so."
"By herself?"
"No, Paul's taking her."
"Paul?"
"He was Holly's bodyguard back in the day. Now he runs security at the office and the women's shelter. I trust him."
"Good. Now, Jethro, you know she's safe so don't be distracted. Focus on what you need to do. I don't want to have to call Ms. Snow and tell her you're in hospital again!"
"Me either. I'm on it Duck. Don't worry."
Jethro went out for coffee then spent the next hour with Director Vance in MTAC trying to come up with a plan of action. While he was busy with that Holly was safely on her way to National Airport. As she often did when she was worried about Jethro, she called Ducky to check on him. Ducky answered on the first ring and Holly wondered if he was expecting her call.
"Ducky, hello it's Holly."
"Yes, my dear I wondered if you'd be calling. He's fine."
"I really must call you too often! He sounded very emotional a while ago. Is everything alright? I mean as alright as it can be under the circumstances."
"Yes, I think so. Jethro is worried about you of course but he seemed to feel better after you called. Of course he's over tired and desperately wants to catch this madman he's chasing."
"I hope he'll be careful but I doubt that's really in his DNA."
"No, I don't think careful is what we can expect but don't worry, he'll have a plan and his team will make sure it works as it should. Knowing you are safe will help him focus, I'm sure."
"Well, I'll be out of town until he catches this guy so I hope it doesn't take more than the week. Jethro promised me he'd join me in Florida when it's over."
"That's a splendid idea. With any luck you'll be seeing him by the weekend."
"Good. Ducky, you will call me if anything happens won't you?"
"You know I will, my dear but I don't expect to be making that call."
"I hope not. Thank you Ducky. Goodbye."
When Jethro left MTAC his team was still gone so he went out for coffee and fresh air. The idea of leaving NCIS was relatively new for Jethro but he was certainly willing to entertain it now. He couldn't foresee having Holly out of his life anytime soon and he certainly wasn't comfortable putting her in any danger. The losses were just piling up and Jethro was beginning to believe he might actually be ready to retire sooner rather than later. The other idea niggling at his brain was that he wanted Holly living with him full time or vice versa. He was getting too old for the "dating" routine or the back and forth living arrangement they now had. He was ready to settle down or commit or whatever you wanted to call it. But first he had to catch Sergei.
The team worked almost non-stop for the next two days but their progress was miniscule. Jethro was getting frustrated, the director was getting impatient and the team was exhausted. Jethro began to wonder if he was going to make to Florida on Saturday or not. He sent his team home late Wednesday night and he and Director Vance met in the Director's office with the Russian lawyer who had "offered to help" them find Sergei. He had an idea to lure Sergei out of hiding and after hearing him lay out the plan, Jethro agreed it might work. Of course it meant Jethro would be the bait but he was willing to let that happen. They all agreed to let the Russian put his plan into motion and Jethro went home to get ready for the next couple of days when the plan would go into action and either he or Sergei would wind up dead.
TBC