My Name Is
A Really stupid song thingy


Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)


My name is.. {scratches} Fred Weasley


Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)


My name is.. {scratches} Fred Weasley Ahem.. excuse me!


Can I have the attention of the class for one second?


Hi kids! Do you like violence? (Yeah yeah yeah!)


Wanna see me stick broken wands through each one of my eyelids? (Uh-huh!)


Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? (Yeah yeah!)


Be in Hufflepuff and get fucked up worse that my life is? (Huh?)


My brain's dead weight, I'm tryin to get my head straight


but I can't figure out which Quidditch Chaser I want to impregnate (Ummmm..)


And Mr. Filch said, "George Weasley be more like Fred!"


"But I am Fred!" "My hair's red!? If you don't know that you're dead!"


Well since age twelve, I've felt like I'm someone else


Cause I hung my twin George on the top bunk with a belt


Got pissed off and ripped Errol's feathers off


And smacked him so hard I knocked his head backwards then I got shitted on


I set fire to grass and fall on my ass


faster than Millicent Bullstrode when she sits down too fast


C'mere slut! (Weasley, wait a minute, that's my girl dog!)


I don't give a fuck, God sent me to piss Hogwarts off!


Chorus


Professor Snape teacher wanted to flunk me in year oh-Five


Thanks a lot, next school year I'll be thirty-five


I smacked him in his face with a Chaser, chased him with a stapler


and stapled his nuts to a stack of papers (Owwwwwwww!)


Walked in the duel club, had my jacket zipped up


Flashed Professor Lockhart, then stuck my dick in the comments cup


Extraterrestrial, runnin over Slytherins


in a spaceship while they screamin at me: "Hermione Granger's really a lesbian!"


Ninety-nine percent of my life I was lied to


I just found out my mom does more floo-powder than I do (Damn!)


I told her I'd grow up to be a famous Beater,


Play Quidditch with a Bludger and say I'd never meet her, (Oh thank you!)


You know you blew up when the women rush your stands


and try to touch your hands like some screamin Potter fans (Aaahhhhhh!)


This guy at Diagon Alley asked for my autograph (Dude, can I get your autograph?)


So I signed it: 'Dear Colin, thanks for the support, ASSHOLE!


Chorus


Stop the tape! This kid needs to be locked away! (Get him!)


Mr. Filch said, don't just stand there, chase him away!


I'm not ready to leave, it's too scary to die (Fuck that!)


I'll have to be carried to the dementor and be kissed alive


(Huh yup!) Am I comin or goin? I can barely decide


I just drank fourteen butterbeers -- dare me to drive? (Go ahead)


All my life I was very deprived


I ain't had a woman in years, I'm scared of them so I hide


Anyone I'll stalk, (hachhh-too)


I spit when I talk, I'll blow up anything that walks (C'mere)


When I was little I used to get so hungry I would throw fits


HOW YOU GONNA BREAST FEED ME MOM? (WAH!)YOU AIN'T GOT NO TITS! (WAHHH!)


I lay awake and strap myself in the bed


Put a wand-proof vest on and jab the wand at my head (BANG!)


I'm steamin mad (Arrrggghhh!) And by the way when you see my dad? (Yeah?)


Tell him to get the dueling mag, and he'll see my ad.