A/N: Oops, I did it again. I wrote an entirely new story instead of working on the one I already have going. To be fair, I did write more on my LOTR story, I just wasn't entirely happy with it, and I want to work it over a bit before I post it. Apologies to those who are following it.

This was a thing that popped into my head as I was listening to this song by Passenger, and I couldn't write anything else until I'd got this down. I've been tweaking it over the past week, and I'm pretty happy with it finally, so I thought I'd throw it up here and see what y'all think. It's sort of an amalgamation of the show and the books - but I have no idea what they're going to do with Gendry now (hopefully bring him sort of back around to the books enough for him to meet Brienne and such), so the first chapter is mostly from the show, and then the second chapter is kinda what happened to him in the books - I mean, he's not going back to the Brotherhood, that's for dang sure, but what's to say he couldn't still end up at the Inn at the Crossroads somehow? In any case, I just wanted to get into his head a bit, and see if I could sort of play around with that.

I'd love to know what you all think, so please leave reviews - I love feedback! And, as always, I hope you all enjoy =)

It's an unspoken heartbreak
A heartbroken handshake I'll take with me where I go...

-Passenger

The oars dipped into the water, propelling him forward. Gendry had strong arms, always had, but what seemed like an eternity of rowing was turning them to rock-solid muscle. His shoulders and back had long since stopped aching from the constant strain on them, but he knew that if he stopped, he wouldn't be able to start again. So he dipped the oars in again, propelling the small boat forward another few meters.

Lommy and Hot Pie can't know. No one can know.

Gendry's gaze snapped to the opposite end of the boat, where he'd heard her voice. He shook his head. "It can't be her. She's far away." My name's not Arry. It's Arya. Of House Stark. "Far, far away from me." Do NOT call me m'lady! "You're going mad, you are, you stupid bastard," Gendry chided himself.

The oars dipped into the water, propelling him forward. Sometimes he talked, to keep his sanity. Sometimes he'd talk to himself. Sometimes to her. Rehashing old arguments, starting new ones. Sometimes thanking her for bringing him out of Harrenhal, sometimes cursing her. Once, he'd even reimagined their last conversation, tried to imagine letting her be his family, staying with her, but that had been painful and he hadn't allowed himself to dwell on it for long.

He couldn't imagine her missing him like this. If there was one thing he absolutely knew about Arya of House Stark, it was that she was one who would always keep moving forward, keep going, no matter what.

He wasn't like that. He'd never learned to do anything but survive. He could follow, go where he was told, but never in his life had he initiated forward movement. Others had always done that for him. Tobho Mott had sold him to the Night's Watch, and Arry the orphan boy had run away, brought him along. The Mountain that Rides had taken him to Harrenhal, and Arya Stark had gotten him out. Then had come the Brotherhood, and it was with the Brotherhood that he'd tried to make his stand.

It had been the worst mistake of his life. A dull ache began to form in his chest, and try as he might, he couldn't tamp it down, fight it off.

I can be your family.

Stop. Stop now, before it's too late. Don't think about what you should have done. Don't wish to change things. Wishing won't make it so.

You wouldn't be my family. You'd be m'lady.

The oars dipped into the water, propelling him forward.

Stupid, stupid. She was right about you. You're stupider than all the rest. No one in their right mind could have left her alone. She didn't have anyone, and you left her. Stupid.

Not only had his 'stand' cost him Arya, but it had cost him the Brotherhood. The Brotherhood, whom he'd so admired, so wanted to be a part of. And they'd sold him to Melisandre without a second thought. But that wasn't what stung the most. What stung was losing Arya, who had been Arry. Arya, who had dragged him along, kept him alive, stayed with him. She'd been so hurt when he'd decided to leave her, but she'd still stood up for him when Melisandre had come to take him away. Would have fought to keep him if it would have made a lick of difference.

What are you doing? Let go of him! Tell them to stop.

Gendry shook his head again. "Stop it, you mad bastard, before you throw yourself out of this boat." He pushed the ache back down and locked it away, deep in his chest.

Don't let it out again. It's like to kill you eventually, you damned fool.

The oars dipped into the water, propelling him forward.

Review please! Please please please! =)