Title: Home Rule - Chapter 1

Author: roomtable202

Fandom: The Unit

Disclaimer: This is intended as a fan fiction, on characters owned by their original creators and I am not making a profit out of it.

Note: This story was originally posted "in-progress" last August 2008. Unfortunately, I had to interrupt the publishing after a few chapters for personal reasons. I am re-posting it in order to complete it.

Mack thrown an apparently friendly arm over Grey's shoulders as soon as he caught his pace in the corridor, but soon enough the pressure he exerted told Grey that it was more to it.

"I know what you did", Mack said to Grey when he was sure the two of them were alone and in a safe spot were they could not be taped or heard by the compound's security net.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You must be crazy. I know you are not on drugs because we passed the test together, so you must be crazy. You need a hug, man? Come on, let me love you! Or shall we be going after some forbidden path? I'll go with you. But you never ever do that again." Mack's voice sounded menacing enough so as no to pay attention to that sign of alert and pretend the issue was not an important one.

Grey didn't say a word but kept staring at him intently.

"I know pretty well how it works in here. If you don't do it for yourself, do it for the team, 'cause you'll take us all down with you... and our families."

Grey patted down the wall next to him twice. It was an involuntary tic Mack had spotted on him on other occasions, a sign of positive tension when getting ready to wait for the "go-go-go" order in any intervention; all the muscles ready to spring out but all the control focused in preventing that to happen any second before the order was given. All of them had their little mannerisms, so Mack knew he had green light and he could go straight to the point now that Grey had made up his mind on the subject.

"What were you doing in there? Ryan said you were not fit yet to go with us to Turkey."

"Playing Manuel, waiting tables for a month; mixing with the locals, gathering information. He saw me there."

"How could he remember you, if you were playing Manuel? You're supposed to pass unattended."

"We had a couple of fights."

"But why?! What for?"

"For money."

"I don't get it. For money because he owed you money?"

"We participated in off-circuit fights. I needed the money and it seemed a good idea at the time. I overhead he was organizing it and he needed new meat for his circus. I passed the test, had the fights for as much as I needed and that was it."

"What could you need the money possibly for? You were on a mission for Christ sake!"

"I received this letter from the insurance company. It seems the Army has our medical services outsourced. They were billing me for all the expenses of my evac from Cyprus and med care there and here, plus all the rehab sessions. I was not covered. As it said very politely in the letter, I was not on duty for the Army at the time. It was huge, Mack. It was a bitch."

"It can't be."

"Hell, they even included the detail of the painkillers I'd got, blood tests with the name of the lab on them and all; a water jar I broke, several meals I couldn't have possibly eat... Lucky me I signed myself out of the hospital two days after being transferred to the base and Annie and Molly helped me get over the worst of it at the apartment or, man, I swear I ..."

"Why didn't you tell Ryan? Or any of us? We could have asked John to get it from the Units's B funds? It's sickening! You don't have to pay for that!"

"On what basis? As a prize for getting myself shot and Hector- ...?"

"Stop it."

"I almost got us all killed."

"I said stop it."

"You were the only one back there who dared to tell the truth. You should have left in time."

"Well, we didn't. What's the point in bringing it up now? Besides, there is something I know for sure: if I had been in your place, you would have done what we did and the final result would have been exactly what it was... and you know it too. What do you want me to say?"

"Nothing. I said it for you."

"Because that's the job, kid, even if you manage to skip it this time, there is gonna be something else down the road."

"Yeah... There ain't no happy ending. And all that much you have to look forward if you survive..."

"Dude, you all right?"

"I'm always all right."

"Even when you're not, like the rest of us. You look like crap, man."

"I try to concentrate but... "

"She is back?"

"No."

"She is back in your mind, then? She is back in your mind... "

"I'm not sure she ever left. But I do know one thing: she is getting in too deep into my head. I need to kill this ghost."

"No need to kill it, you vanquish it."

"It's wearing me down. It's breaking me. What am I supposed to do?"

"I'm no one to give advice, but just the truth: you are a wolf; and a wolf makes only a good pet if it thinks it is a dog. To beat you, one has to destroy your will to fight. Don't let her get you down like this. You've got over so much to be here..."

"This is new for me, Mack, and I don't know if I'm strong enough. I never felt so confused in my life and it's getting worse."

"So you try to forget, and when you can't forget, you fake that you don't care..." Mack voice was hoarse and he avoided Charles's eyes. His face was bleak, whiter than his usual characteristic white.

Talking about Annie reminded Charles how she will welcome him without words, just her fresh looks and a big smile in her lips and her eyes, snaking herself around him... hard, like she wanted to fuse in one, and only then she would kiss him like the first time; he loved her cuddling like nothing else, it melted his very heart, he wanted no more but her. And it was when it occurred to him how many more, so much more, memories would have Mack to relive after all his years of marriage with Tiffy. Charles crossed his arms and shifted his position uncomfortably when Mack addressed him again.

"Dude, I was here a year ago, and I was here six months after that, and you were not as happy as before. And now you are not even as happy as six months before. You're not going in the right direction. That's all I am saying."

Charles tightened his crossed arms some more, his eyebrows furled, slightly biting his lower lip when Mack followed.

"I know you like free diving, and you were enjoying life kind of, in the edge, on your own all the time."

"No, you are never in the edge if you know your limits."

"Oh, yeah? I don't think so. I take it the point of free diving is pushing past the limits. That's why most professional free divers get their eardrums burst. Afterwards, never again they can free dive to their previous marks. It's the end of all they want to do."

Now Charles looked directly into his eyes. His attention finally focused.

"Are you saying I'm way out of my depths?"

"Not yet, but you will be if you don't do something about it soon. I'm not the most perceptive of persons and I've realized you're not as sharp as you should; it means there is no more time left for you taking an upward turn."

Nobody knew better than himself that he was in a low; way low.

"I've seen how the Army deals with these things before. One day you are in, next hour, you won't even be given time to pick up your dog tags, you'll find yourself down the gutter. There will be nothing to do then. And there will be no warning. Keep it in mind. Change now... or fake a change now. No second opportunities from Ryan when you cannot do your job."

"Yeah, yeah..."

"If we were going on deployment soon, all would be different. You'd have time and space to make it right for you again but here you are too much exposed. So, get to surface that wolf look, for a start. No puppies allowed around."

"Ok, ok, ok..."

"Now, change into your superhero gear. We will go running for a couple of hours and then a shave, a shower, some beers and a double hamburger with triple of fries at Jake's. What do you say?"

"I'll love it."

"That's in the spirit of things." Mack send a friendly punch to Grey's arm which he returned while nodding his head down in acknowledgment.