Rating: PG-13

Warning: Vague mention of m/m sex.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that seems familiar.

A/N: Just a little fictlet bouncing around in my brain. Short and sweet

"Jack!"

He looked up to find Ianto standing in his doorway, one hand on his hip and the other holding a file. His facial features calm in direct contrast to the irritated way his Welsh vowels wrapped around Jack's name.

Allowing confusion to sweep his expression and drip from his voice, Jack asked, "Ianto?"

A slight blush crept up his archivist's face as the stoic mask flickered, "Uh, I was filing the expense reports for Torchwood and, well, I found that you filed for something that seems more of a personal nature rather than work related."

Jack quirked an eyebrow, "And what would that be?"

"Uh," Ianto now blushed deep red, his professional mask failing. "You filed for 200 pounds worth of, well, lube."

Oh, now he remembered, the sides of his mouth upturned slightly, "It was on sale if you bought it in bulk."

Ianto's frustration clearly showed through the fluctuation in his vocal chords, "Not what I meant."

Jack knew he was pushing but Ianto could be so much fun all flustered and undone, "So you don't want me to save the Queens money?"

He watched a dozen emotions run through Ianto's face as he ran a hand through his hair clearly trying to regain his composure.

"Jack! Lube seems to be, uh, a personal purchase and not for official Torchwood purposes."

Sitting back in his chair with a smug smile Jack crossed his arms and smirked, "How do you figure that?"

Ianto's mouth fell open and it took about a minute for him to regain his voice back, "W-what? How do you figure it's for official purposes?"

His arms were waving randomly in the air as he spoke.

Jack couldn't help himself, he grinned wide bearing all his teeth and made his point in an amused, lecherous tone, "What could be more official than you, my employee, bent over my official office desk as I fuck you, while I'm on the official office phone with officials from UNIT or the prime minister?"

When he thought Ianto's face couldn't get any redder, Jack was proved wrong again. He had an urge to rip Ianto's clothes off right then and there to find out if there was an inch of his body that wasn't blushing.

Ianto's mouth opened as if to speak, closed, opened, and closed again. Still in shock, he turned around sharply as Jack's laugher followed his retreating form. He'd just file it somewhere where no one will ever be bothered to look.