Oh hey, a Halloween fic staring Haiku, why haven't I posted this before?
And before anybody asks, no, I'm not going to turn this into a multi-chapter story like I did with "Harrietween", it's just going to be a single one-shot.
Anyhow, I hope you enjoy it!
It was Halloween in the city of Royal Woods, and a peculiar little girl was getting ready to read something at the main street. This girl was Haiku, who was dressed as a witch, with a jack-o-lantern for a head. Though the way the pumpkin was shaped made it look like it was trying to eat her.
Also unlike her usual self, she was being a bit... emotional.
"Oh, what would be the chances?! The only other goth I know who can stand this series, is too busy to read them with me today!" she whined and cried in an overly dramatic manner, before taking a look at the book she was holding: a princess pony book. "I know it's Halloween and all that stuff, but certainly she could spend a couple minutes reading one of these books with me, right?"
And as the Gothic pumpkin witch lady paced back and forth, lost in her own thoughts, a trio of shadowy figures spotted her and slowly walked to her.
"I mean, she needs a break from the darkness once in a while, everybody does, and with this holiday she's gonna need a week-long break after Halloween comes and goes! That's why we need to read this series! That's why we need to do this before the whole Halloween schtik begins!"
"Hey."
Haiku flinched and hit the floor, only to see the shadowy figures go to her, before revealing themselves to be Giggles, Polly Pain, and Tabby, the remaining Sadie Hawkins dates of Lincoln.
"Oh, you're those girls, from the Sadie Hawkins dance..." Haiku growled, narrowing her eyes as she saved the book...somewhere.
However, judging by the girls' exasperated groans, they weren't as angry about the dance as she was.
"Dude, that dance was half a year ago, get over it," Polly stated, rolling her eyes. "Specially when we have something much more entertaining to focus on: Halloween!"
"The time to be scared of obviously fictional stuff!" Giggles chirped, lifting her arms. "The time to go around houses, asking for some sweet treats to eat, or be tricked in return!"
"And most importantly, the time where people put up costumes to look like somebody else," Tabby finished. "Although, seeing what you're wearing, it looks like you beat us to the punchline."
"Yeah, kind of, these are actually my pajamas," Haiku nervously confessed. "Speaking of costumes, what are you supposed to be?"
"Isn't it obvious? I'm the illegitimate lovechild of Luna Loud and Mick Swagger, Mina Loud!" Tabby chirped. "I'm illegitimate 'cause that's just how celebrities work."
"Sadly enough," Polly Pain shrugged. "Meanwhile, I'm the biggest loser in all of Royal Woods. And before you ask, anybody who focuses way too much on winning all the time, is a loser in my eyes."
"And I'm not really costumed, I'm just wearing my clown school uniform," Giggles shrugged. "Anyway, we saw you panicking in the middle of the field, and we were wondering what you were doing here."
"I was going to read a certain story with a friend, but since she's not coming, I'm not so sure on what to do anymore," Haiku looked at the ground, but chirped up when she got an idea. "Do any of you have plans for today? It's Halloween, and I'm curious to know-"
"I got nothing," Polly Pain bluntly shook her head. "I had a special roller skating event today based around zombies, but they had to cancel it when Margo slipped on the fake blood during a test run. Then she broke her leg, and her blood got added into the mix, and gross stuff like that."
"And I was about to make some sweet tunes at the disco, when the boombox malfunctioned," Tabby added, saving her hands on her pockets. "And by the time it was fixed, it was the dj's turn to turn up the heat, so I had get out before I got fried."
"And I was planning to be the odd one out of the entirety of Royal Woods, and just go trick or treating on my normal clothes," Giggles sighed. "Then I realized that I had to do some community service for my clown school, so I decided to keep the clown costume anyway."
"Oh..." Haiku frowned. "I-I see... Well then-"
"Would you like to go trick or treating with us?" Polly suddenly asked, tilting her head with a smile.
The goth was left stunned, to say the least. "Y-Y-You sure you wouldn't mind that?"
"Of course not, Love," Tabby waved her hand. "Just stay close to us and be sure to pay attention to what we do, 'cause it could help you for next time you go trick or treating."
"N-Next time?" Haiku stuttered.
Giggles looked at the goth in shock, while Tabby and Polly shooked head and exchanged looks as they said in unison:
"We have a lot of work to do."
Later, at the city...
Haiku hid in the bushes next to a house the trio were about to trick or treat, with them giving her a thumbs up before knocking the door. One "Trick or treat" exclamation later, the girls got their candy, and some comments about their costumes, which Haiku watched intently... or maybe she was just confused about the situation.
With the door closed, Haiku jumped out of hiding and walked to the trio, just as Polly said, "And that's basically all you do for trick or treating, got it?"
Haiku tilted her head. "I don't get it, why is it trick or treat? I mean, I see the treat, but what's the trick?"
"The fact that it comes before the treat!" Giggles quipped, pausing to let Haiku-or anybody else-react to the joke.
When not even crickets were heard, Giggles took a deep breath and asked, "Be honest, did you not laugh because you didn't get the joke, or because you didn't find it funny?"
"That was a joke?" Haiku asked, scratching her head. "It sounded more like a confused answer to me."
"No, that was definitely joke, it had a punchline and everything!" Polly stated. "Again, did you get the joke or not?"
Haiku nervously shrugged. "I don't think so, I mean, I can't really get something I've never been exposed to before."
Three looks of utter shock from the other girls later, Tabby shouted "Discussion time!" and joined Polly and Giggles in having a private conversation, all while Haiku just stood nearby, not sure of what to do now.
"Okay, we need to put a hold on the trick or treating for now, and help this girl actually know what she's doing!" Tabby stated. "I mean, her not going trick or treating is one time, but her not knowing what jokes are and how trick or treating works after seeing it once? If we leave her as is, it's going to be a long night! Much longer than what I'm comfortable with!"
"Tell me about it, I almost feel bad for that poor girl," Giggles said, looking at the ground. "I mean, I know my jokes can sometimes be pretty bad, but the fact she didn't even get them... that hurt."
"Well, what can we do to teach her how things work?" Polly inquired. "We need to somehow teach her about jokes and trick or treating and all that stuff quickly, or else we won't be able to reach our candy quota!"
Tabby smiled. "Leave that to me."
The trio separated, and Tabby pulled a guitar out of her back and played it for a bit in a fast, punk metal tune, that built up for what would probably be a song. Once Tabby stopped playing and opened her mouth, though, a couple seconds of silence passed before she sheepishly said:
"I didn't prepare a song for this situation."
Polly pinched the bridge of her nose. "I guess we'll just have to teach her the practical way."
Mere moments later...
Haiku stood in front of the porch of a house, holding an empty bag for candy. She then turned around to see Polly, Tabby, and Giggles hiding on a bush nearby.
"So, I touch the doorbell or knock the door, I say "trick or treat", they say something about my costume, and then they give me candy?" Haiku asked.
"That's the gist for most of us!" Tabby answered with a smile. "Come on, give it a try!"
The trio hid inside, and Haiku knocked the door. After waiting for a couple seconds, Chandler-dressed as a pirate-and Becky-dressed as a vampire-opened the door, with Becky being the first to speak:
"Oh hey, that's a new one! Are you supposed to be some sort of pumpkin witch?"
"That's not the case at all, Becky!" Chandler retorted, folding his arms. "She's clearly some sort of witch that was decapitated, and now uses a cursed pumpkin to try and replace the head she lost!"
"I actually like his interpretation of my costume a lot," Haiku said with a smile. "By the way, trick or treat!"
Becky cheerfully took out a bowl of candy, and handed Haiku a couple dozen of them before biding farewell and closing the door. This prompted the Sadie Hawkins' dates to come out of hiding and go to the pumpkin witch's side.
"So, how did it feel?" Tabby asked, patting Haiku's back.
"That was... interesting," Haiku looked at the candy she got. "And I didn't knew you could get candy like this. Do any of you wanna share?"
Tabby shook her head while Giggles excitedly jumped up and down. "No, Haiku, that's not how it works-"
"Tabby, shush!" Giggles snapped. "She's giving us free candy, we should-!"
Polly promptly put her hand over Giggles' mouth and said, "You should save those until you've trick or treated at every house in the vicinity, that are still open anyway."
The clown girl folded her arms, only for Polly to add, "And then we'll share our candy with each other!"
Giggles chirped up, and before she knew it, Haiku had joined the team of girls on their journey to get as much candy as they could in the city of Royal Woods. They went to several houses; the McBrides, the Santiagos, the Johnsons, and in most cases, they successfully managed to get some candy out of their visits. And by the end of the "trick or treat spree", the girls were carrying candy bags as big as their heads, and as heavy as well.
"Man, that was so much fun!" Haiku exclaimed, actually sounding happy, rather than deadpan-happy for once.
"It was, wasn't it?" Giggles said with a giggle. "Now, let's go back home and make sure we don't go across-"
Suddenly, the trio stopped, with Haiku stopping as well soon afterwards once she noticed the girls shivering in fear. And once she saw the street they were on, she kinda got an idea why.
"Sweetwater street!" Polly, Tabby, and Giggles cried as they hugged each other for protection.
"What's wrong, girls?" Haiku asked, putting her hand on her hip. "What's up with this street that makes you act this fearful?"
Suddenly, several hisses were heard, and a look around revealed that the hisses came from toddlers, who walked on all four as they surrounded the girls, with their leader appearing soon afterwards.
Who was this leader? None other than Lindsey Sweetwater.
"Greetings, trick or treaters!" Lindsey dramatically exclaimed, taking a couple of steps forward like an over the top villain. "'Tis I, the Sweet Mistress!"
"Hi, I'm Haiku," the poet casually greeted, while the trio continued to hug in fear. "Well, not really, Haiku's my penname for when I become an author. My name's actually-"
"I'm assuming you're new to the trick or treating business, am I right?" Lindsey raised an eyebrow. "How else would you keep your composure around me? I'm, like, a big deal for trick or treaters!"
"Well, I just started today," Haiku shrugged. "And this is also the first time I've ever seen you, so-"
"Okay, now it makes sense," Lindsey took a deep breath. "To give you the short version of the story, I'm Lindsey Sweewater, also known as the sweet mistress during Halloween. I used to go trick or treating, but after one terrible incident, I've been denied the chance to do it ever again."
Lindsey snapped her fingers, summoning several toddlers to her side, including Claire. "And now, every Halloween, those who're unlucky across to stumble upon the street I live at, face the wrath of my toddler underlings-yes, I just said such a thing-and have all their candy taken from them!"
The trio screamed while Haiku just asked, "Why? What do you do with it?"
"I share them with my minions, of course!" Lindsey brushed Claire's hair. "They also don't go trick or treating for their own reasons, so I figured giving them candy in exchange for helping me steal it from trick or treaters was a good compromise!"
"Aw, that's so nice of you!" Haiku remarked, clasping her hands.
"I know, right? It's certainly nicer than what a certain someone I remember would do," Lindsey looked away. "But anyway, it's time for you to give me your candy! Toddler minions, get them!"
The toddlers suddenly attacked, with the dates narrowly dodging the leaping children as hard as they could, until Haiku got an idea: She took out her Princess Pony series book, and threw it at the leader, Lindsey Sweetwater, making the toddlers stop in that exact instance.
Surely, the sickeningly sweet nature of the book could stun her enough to let them escape!... except, it didn't. In fact, Lindsey took a quick look at it before shouting in joy, "Oh my gosh! Who does this book belong to?!"
"It's... mine?" Haiku answered.
"No way, you read the princess pony series too?!" Lindsey chirped as she took the book.
Though everybody was confused at the girl's reaction, Haiku soon smiled and answered:
"Yup, I read it every Halloween. My friend Lucy and I usually join together to try and read as much of this pony sweetness as possible, and see how long we can get before we stop."
"I usually read it to calm down after beauty pageants," Lindsey revealed, gaining a wide smile. "Sure, it may be way too sweet for the most part, but there's just something... uplifting about it, you know? Like it was specifically written to calm whoever read it down."
"Well, let me tell you, that's exactly how the series first came to be," Haiku crouched down and brushed Lindsey's hair as she explained what she meant. "A long time ago, there was a certain, famous book writer whose daughter was going through some hard times. She was scared, she was terrified, but most importantly, she was in need of something to calm her down. And so, the book writer wrote the first pony princess book, making sure that the book would be something calming, that would help being relief to that daughter he cherished so much."
Lindsey's eyes grew wider. "How do you know all of this?"
Haiku stood back up and smiled.
"'Cause I was that little girl."
The toddlers, other Sadie Hawkins girls, and specially Lindsey Sweetwater's mouth opened wide as they gasped at the revelation. Though while the dates were only mildly shocked at the statement, the toddlers and Lindsey looked like their whole worlds had just been shattered.
"You're the reason the pony princess series exists in the first place?!" Lindsey asked, holding back her tears as Haiku nodded in response. "Oh please, for the love of Princess Amore, give me your autograph. In fact, could you give the toddlers an autograph too?! We'll do anything you want, I promise!"
"Anything I want?" Haiku scratched her chin. "Even stop stealing candy from random trick or treaters?"
Lindsey's cheerfulness vanished, and she looked at the scared Sadie Hawkins trio as she thought about it. On the one hand, she and the toddlers already had a system: Steal candy, share it among themselves, rinse and repeat next Halloween.
On the other hand, when could she ever get another chance to get an autograph from the source of the princess pony series herself?!
"Fine, we'll stop doing that," Lindsey folded her arms and looked away. "Just please give us an autograph!"
Haiku smiled, and next thing she knew, she was handing autographs to the toddlers and Lindsey, while the other Sadie Hawkins girls stood nearby, flabbergasted at the turn of events.
"What the heck just happened?" Polly asked, rubbing her forehead. "Like, I honestly don't know how to process what just happened."
"Truth be told, I don't think anybody really knows how to process it," Haiku remarked, focusing solely on the autographs she was giving out. "But hey, your candy's safe, and I found a new friend too, everybody won in the end, right?"
"I guess," Tabby scratched her head. "But there's one thing I don't get. Why did you hide the fact that you read the princess pony series until now?"
Haiku finished one last autograph before pausing and taking a deep breath.
"Girls, do I look like someone who would read something like the princess pony series to you? It may be well known for being a very calming book series, but it's also infamous for the insane number of younger kids who read it, making other people think that anybody older than 3 or 4 who reads said series, is a sissy. And since I still had bad memories of the dance with me, I didn't want to give you an actual reason to make fun of me."
The poet sighed and continued signing autographs. "But I don't mind anymore. I originally thought that Lucy was the only other person who enjoyed princess pony, but I'm glad I was proven wrong."
Lindsey took her autograph and reached for her pocket. "And hey, as a bonus, have this."
The girl took out a small bag of candy, and handed it to Haiku as she said, "Right out of dad's candy store."
"Wait, your dad owns a candy store, and he gives you whatever candy he has overstock?" Giggles asked, earning a nod from the diva. "If that's the case, why does it bother you not being able to go trick or treating so much, you decided to form an army of toddlers to get the candy?"
"Oh please, everybody knows that earning something you're able to get is much more satisfying than it just being handed to you," Lindsey rolled her eyes and folded her arms. "And candy's no exception, without putting some effort into getting it, it's just... not as sweet as it could be."
"I can see the logic behind that," Haiku said as she finished her last few autographs. "Okay, I'm done, one autograph for each of you, who also just so happen to be fans of the princess pony series."
The toddlers said "thanks!" in unison, and promptly left alongside Lindsey, who gave Haiku a wink before joining the toddlers. With all that done, Haiku turned to the other dates and showed her bag of candy before asking, "Do you wanna share while we go home?"
"You really want to share your candy with us?" Tabby asked as Polly held Giggles back. "I mean, that was given to you, and you still seemed bitter about the Sadie Hawkins dance when we first met-"
"And you helped me have see the fun I could get through trick or treating," Haiku answered with a little smile. "Besides, not only did you tell me to get over the dance, but we did agree to share our candy when all was said and done, right?"
The girls all exchanged looks, and with wide smiles, they all walked back home together, sharing candy with each other along the way.