dep.html I am going to attempt writing a fic. A good one, not my normal good-enough-to-feed-the-dogs-and-get-them-to-eat-it-and-not-me fic. I have all this emotional energy stored up....I'll do a Quatre story about how I theorize that he looks on himself as a awful person. Here we go!
:thinking to us in here:
'to himself in here'
Bleeding Angle

"Bye Trowa!" I say as he just walks away. : As usual, he is really hurt, but... 'no Quatre, it is your job as his boyfriend to cheer him up.' I sigh inwardly. Today was no success. The war ended a few years ago, and I imeaditly decided to try to fix the damage I've done. As of now I'm involved in seven different charities, and I'm a spokesperson for several more. I want to open a orphanage, for war orphans, Trowa won't let me. He says I'm doing too much already.:

I walk into my apartment. : I've been up sence 4:30, I'm shot. That's my life now. I don't have Kingdom any more, even if they did manage to save most of the fortune, so use what have to help others to the best of my possibilites. The maginocs won't let me donate my fortune, so all I can give is my time. Trowa just went back to the circus. I wish I were more like him.

I wish I had some things from all the guys. Heero's work and study skill's, as well as his ability to take thing in his grasp, not let them take over. I'll bet he dosen't get hurt often, not emotionally anyway. I went to a museum once, as a child. It was a music one. In one box it had a 'hear a song from that time' sticker on it. I did. The song was called 'I am a rock, I am a island'. I've always thought that that song fit Heero.

Duo is great. He's lost so much. And he can be really sweet to. He's always laughing and smiling. The others seem to mind every now and again. I like it. I wouldn't mind being able to do that, always beam. I smile, make no mistake, but to really smile, not just make yourself. Not to just smile on the outside, to smile from within. Like he does.

Wu Fei. Chang Wu Fei. I think I'm the only one who have ever understood him, and respected him for who he is. He is, I think any way, the wisest one of us. I really think so. He seems cold. Very distant. But...there's something about him, I only found out what it was a little while ago. He is the purest of us all. He was always ranting about justice, how he shall do this, how he will do that. But he's not ranting to convice us, or anyone else. He's doing it to convince himself. We all hate fighting. I think he does the most. But he does what he has to, no matter what. I wish I could do that.

Trowa. He's the one I love the most. No duh, he's my boy friend and all. But, even if he wasn't......I would still love him. I don't know much about him. Or al least I didn't until recently. It's a wonder he's still here. He's been though the most. Harsh training, like Heero; Home taken away, like Duo; Being lost, like Wu Fei; Going away from who you are, like me; having to start over, like us all.
I wish I had his courage. His faith. His strenth, he must be very strong, he's still here, isn't he?

You think I should then talk about me. I can think of nothing worthy for your ears to hear. I'm just someone who did alot of wrong, was really immature, and really dumb. But that's me. The one thing I can say, I'm a liar. I'm not some innocent little boy. no sir. Like, take to day for example. I almost snaped at someone 13 times. I still don't know what came over me. I'm nothing. I can usally push this away, but now....in the dark, with my sword collection next to me.: Quatre took down a dagger. Hot tears of immence inner pain rolled down his cheeks.

'Why am I still here. I really wish all this would end. All it would take is one plunge. That would be it.': The only thing keeping me from loosing it is the fact that Trowa needs me. the Children even don't like me. They still arn't completely at rest with the 'Gundams' being the good guys.

Sometimes I feel like I'm on fire. Like I'm dying inside. I feel like that all the time now, but every now and then, it's so strong. Most of the time it's at night, when I'm alone, like now. It's my birthday tomorrow. The guys haven't said a thing about it. Just as well. I really don't think I deserve a party, besides, I don't have the time. :'mabye, I could pretened...' Quatre rose the dagger over his chest so it was placed in the air in the perfect place to go strate though his heart.

"Don't even think about it" Heero said behind him.

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