Sassy: Hi guys!
Angry Kitty: We're back with another story! Oh yeah!
Tom: (sarcastic) I'm sure you all are just so happy.
Flipper: I know I am!
Yuki: … What the FREAKING CRAP?? What happened to not torturing me anymore?
Angry: Hey, we're torturing other people too, not just you!
Flipper: Gosh, how selfish. You're willing to sacrifice you're FAMILY so that WE'D stop torturing you?
Yuki: YES!!!
Kyo: (snickers)
Sassy: I wouldn't be laughing, you get screwed over, too.
Kyo: WHAT?
Disclaimer: No, we don't own Furuba. Unfortunately.
CHAPTER ONEIt was Thursday. Now, normally, Thursdays are perfectly ordinary days, but as you probably know, stories are rarely ever built on ordinary Thursdays.
So on this extra-special Thursday something was going to happen. So let's take you into our setting: into an extraordinary place, full of magic and unicorns and all that junk-I mean, really important stuff. Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Our main characters in this story, as well as in the actual books, are Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and Ron Weasley.
Who were creating mischief in a manner best befit to n00bs: they were creating a spell.
Oh, the fun we will have with THIS one.
xXxXxXx
They sat huddled behind their textbooks in Transfiguration, not at all paying attention to Professor McGonagall, who was telling them how to turn a snake into a tall man with silver hair that went down to his ankles.
But we digress. They weren't paying attention to this FASCINATING lecture on disobeying the laws of physics because they had something even BETTER to focus on.
A spell.
But this was no ordinary spell! Are stories ever written – well, they must be, because any spell at all would be out of the ordinary …
(cough) But this was no ordinary spell. This was a spell that they had created ALL BY THEMSELVES! THEY GROW UP SO FAST!
The spell allows them to temporarily switch minds with anybody they wanted to. This, of course, was extremely vital, as they could use it to take the place of their teachers and either A) ruin their reputation, subsequently ruining their life and horribly embarrassing them in some fashion, B) get in their bodies and copy down answers to tests and whatnot, or C) both.
It was also horribly complicated, as all new things are, so Hermione was in on the whole affair. (It's not like she didn't know what they were going to use it for. Honestly, she wasn't blind, deaf, and/or stupid. But this was a chance in a lifetime, and if she left it to the boys, they would muck the whole thing up and get themselves killed. The ignorant gits.)
They finished the last of the spell within minutes. Exhausted from nights without sleep, proud of their work, they were only slightly delirious when they decided to test it out on their conveniently-being-around professor, who was handing a feminine looking man his clothes without a hint of blush.
In unison, they all whispered, "Bippity Boppity Boo!" (Childish, yes. Unoriginal, yes. The only name they could come up with at three in the morning? Priceless.) (Er, we meant yes.)
There was a clichéd bright flash of light and all three collapsed to the floor. McGonagall was not amused at the awkward silence that followed as her students stared at the lifeless bodies of her most TROUBLESOME students.
"Turn to page 381," she snapped, not willing to interrupt her lesson for those twits who probably brought this upon themselves.
Pretending that nothing had happened (at the promise of wrath from their Head of House), the remaining, AWAKE Gryffindors did as they were told and snuck glances at their three fallen comrades every time McGonagall faced away from them.
xXxXxXx
Now for a complete scene change to somewhere far far away … Japan! Because at the home of Shigure Sohma, Kyo Sohma, Yuki Sohma, and Tohru Honda, something SPECIAL was going to happen.
Why?
We already said why! It's an extra-special Thursday! Duh.
"What is that stupid cat doing?" Yuki asked frostily, glancing at the clock. "We're going to be late."
"Kyo-kun! Are you alright?" Tohru called worriedly. Suddenly (because exciting things always happen after a "suddenly"), she swayed as if tired and collapsed in a heap on the floor.
"Miss Hon-!" was as far as Yuki got before he, too, fainted. Gracefully, and with great poise.
Kyo, unfortunately, passed out as he was coming down the stairs. So he fell rest of the way … gracefully. And with great poise … he landed on Yuki.
Because if he couldn't land on his feet … he'd land on that damn rat. And squish him.
Yes … it was all part of his MASTER PLAN …
… Of course …
xXxXxXx
Hermione slowly opened her eyes and squinted at the light. Well, that certainly hadn't turned out like she thought it would. She was positive she had gotten things right.
Pushing herself up, she noticed several things.
Her head hurt like a mother.
She was no longer in Kansas … Hogwarts, but rather, a nicely furnished house that was decorated in an oriental style.
Her hair seemed to have straightened itself and grown longer (and damn was it pretty).
Her figure had gone from "washboard" to "hourglass."
She was wearing a sailor suit.
All this added up to someone slipping something in her pumpkin juice, or the spell had been screwed up.
Deciding to be calm rather than hysterical (because Ron definitely would be), she pushed herself to her feet. She was about to look around for Ron and Harry when she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and stopped dead.
She … she was …
Cute!
And older.
And cute!
Le gaspeh!
xXxXxXx
Harry's eyes twitched and he went to breath – but found he couldn't. There was a body on top of his own, and it was cutting off his air supply.
Goody. Maybe he'll become The-Boy-Who-Lived-To-Be-Crushed-By-Some-Bloody-Git-Who-Was-Laying-On-Top-Of-Him-Oh-My-God-Harry-Is/Was-GAY???
xXxXxXx
Ron woke up and blinked fuzzily for a moment. His brains gave a stuttering start and rebooted itself. Only one thing registered: someone was beating on his chest.
And that was just super annoying, so he rolled over until the beating stopped. But by that time he was awake, so he decided to sit up and look alive.
"What the bloody buggering HELL, Ron?" an out-of-breath Harry demanded.
"Sorry, mate," Ron muttered, turning to face the other boy, "Dunno how tha-WHOA! What happened to YOU?"
Harry frowned, "What are you talking about?"
"Yer … Yer hair mate! And yer eyes, and yer body, and … everything!"
"Have you looked at yourself?"
"Yes, it appears to have happened to me, too." Hermione commented distractedly.
They turned to see how she had changed and their jaws dropped.
Hermione had changed from a bushy-haired scholar to a busty schoolgirl. Just like Harry had changed from Harry to … not Harry!
"Why don't you two take a look at yourselves, then?"
Still in shock, they followed her suggestion and went to the mirror. And nearly went comatose. (Or at least, Harry did.)
Harry was taller and more slender and … prettier. His hair was silver instead of black, but his eyes were still that shocking green they had always been. His mother's eyes.
Harry went emo for a few minutes, so Ron pushed him out of the way and got a look at himself.
"Damn. I couldn't even get rid of the orange hair." He pouted, fingering the strands unhappily. But he was taller, like Harry, and was more muscled. And he didn't' have any freckles, which was a bonus.
"Well, we all have our original eye color. Probably so we can identify each other," Hermione observed nonchalantly, playing with the edge of her miniskirt.
"So … the spell worked?" Ron said hopefully.
Harry came out of his emo-coma. "Not perfectly. I mean, we're not in our bodies, but we're not in McGonagall's, either."
"Correct, Toto – I mean Harry. We're definitely not in Kansas – I mean, Hogwarts anymore. It could be the spell … or perhaps it's the work of YOU-KNOW-WHO!" Hermione yelled, managing to pull a heavy textbook out of thin air … that was in Ron's brain. It's where she hid ALL her most important things. Too bad it didn't make Ron smarter …
"And Snape must've helped him somehow!" Ron yelled right back as Hermione slammed the book on the ground, making it shudder. They both poured over the text, leaving Harry blinking confusedly at them.
"Wait, what?"
Shigure skipped past, before nearly tripping at the actions going inside the dining room.
TOHRU HONDA WAS READING A BOOK!
AND YUKI AND KYO WERE IN THE SAME ROOM AND THEY WEREN'T FIGHTING!
Shigure let out a scream that could've woken the dead, making the other three jump and instinctively reach for their wands.
"AHH! Someone stole my wand!"
"Mine, too!"
"Someone stole mine as well!"
"WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY COUSINS AND ADORABLE HOUSEWIFE?" Shigure shrieked in horror.
TBCSassy: So, Freckles, ya like our new story?
Kyo: I'm ... gonna ... KILL YOU!
Harry: You know, you guys have serious problems.
Ron: Yeah! Like when you said my mom was cheating on my dad!
Kyo: WHAT?
Angry Kitty: Wrong! You're dad insini … insucruted …
Tom: Insinuated.
Angry Kitty: Yeah that!
Flipper: Ron's dad insinuated that his wife, Ron's mom, was cheating on him with the milkman in our story, The Milkman!
(crickets)
Ron: OH MY GOD!
Angry Kitty: SHE SOUNDED SMART!
Ron: MY MOM CHEATED ON MY DAD?
(all panic)
Tom: Nobody reads the whole damn story anymore! Anyways, we would really, REALLY appreciate it if you would review.
Flipper: Bye!