Sasuke Uchiha walked down the forest road, ensconced in visions of the day his entire clan was killed. Try as they might, the birds released trills of song into the air, but their merry-making could never hope to lift his brooding eyes from the ground. Memories as countless as grains of rice turned to flood his mind, and Sasuke wavered in the breeze, as though he were tumbling down a vacuous pit of darkness that threatened to steal him away from the wholesome warmth of the sun.
All too suddenly, a figure dove out of the bushes and rolled over twice on the dirt path, his body bent in order to protect the yellow ball in his arms. As Sasuke approached the figure, he did so coolly, with his hands in the pockets of his khaki shorts and a memorable gait of total indifference. He masterfully ascertained that it was a fairly beat-up boy and his Pikachu, neither of which posed a threat. Charizard was disobeying Ash again, and in a particularly saucy show of independence, had cast off the shackles of his slavery to stand tall in the sun. He had not evolved twice of his own effort and volition to suffer the arduous taunts and demands of pimpled children. Consequently, it was beginning to seem like taming Charizard was impossible, at least for Ash. Charizard listened to Brock and Misty, but not Ash. Charizard was always disobeying him, and hurting him.
This time, Pikachu had come between them, filled with nothing but love for the boy who kept him emotionally captive.
"Pikachu, are you all right?" Ash screamed with concern, his vocal chords rupturing into pubescent maturity with a deafening tear.
Sasuke gazed despondently at the trees, picturing his brother's face painted in a trestle of green leaves until the time that Charizard emerged, dissatisfied with the current extent of his just and noble terrorization.
Misty somersaulted onto the scene in a training bra and sex bracelets, while Brock followed close behind in Timberland boots and a sweater covered in dollar signs. A miasma of cologne thicker than a storm cloud preceded his entrance, effectively causing the cocoons of several Metapod to fall in a nauseous coma from the boughs. Brock's do-rag was speckled with the fine sheen of exertion as he shouted hoarsely for Charizard to yield. The beast swung its massive tail around the terrain like a string of butcher's sausages, and with a weightless bound, Sasuke reflexively perched on a heavy tree branch. Ninjas were known to be the distant cousins of some barnyard owls, and as such, he found no difficulty in retreating to a more comfortable habitat. Everyone but Ash and Pikachu had managed to escape the vengeful lash of Charizard's tail.
With a snap of its powerful jaw, Brock's backpack and sweater were torn to insignificant shreds. His brown chest became battered with a film of dust stirred from the fray, and his stony muscle became displayed to rebellious Charizard, who paused at the sight of his firm, loving arms.
"Charizard, return!" Brock commanded in a garrulous baritone. Red light enveloped 300llbs of force and power into an innocuous plastic ball smaller than the size of his fist. It was then Sasuke chose to alight on ground once more in a movement as controlled an acrobat's thigh.
"It's OK." Misty declared with a sigh of relief. "Pikachu's OK. But we have to get him to a Poké-center."
Frightened and bruised to weakness, Pikachu curled up in Misty's arms, mewling like the tiniest and most endearing baby timber wolf. Sasuke was instantly overcome with such strong feelings of indifference for the sleeping, trembling Pokémon, it took every inch of his focus to keep from staring into the clouds far above their heads.
"I will take you as far as the next village." Sasuke agreed.
"My name is Misty." Said Misty.
"My name is Brock." Said Brock.
Ash was unconscious.
"This is Pikachu." Misty introduced him lovingly.
"I am Sasuke...Uchiha. Last of the Uchiha clan."
"Never heard of them." Misty said, with a look of enormous disappointment.
She could only compare the sensation to those countless times when the chlorine of her Gym's pool burned the retinas of several Magikarp, resulting in a school of blind, disfigured Gyarados that now wandered the streams of Johto, living in purest fear of the light of day.
"The Uchiha? I've heard of their Gym Leader." Brock professed. "The Uchiha are known Pokemon masters. Only..."
Sasuke's eyes, black and sharp as an obsidian blade, pierced through the obscurity of Brock's level uncertainty.
"Only what?"
Sasuke's expressions were kin to the bold, harsh beauty of mineral deposits, and Brock immediately felt an affinity with the young ninja— perhaps a burgeoning appreciation for his carelessness.
"Nothing." Brock said. "We should hurry and get Pikachu to a Poké-center."
When Ash stirred from the absence of mind from body, he coughed with a timbre not unlike a brassy balled chainsmoker's, vomiting the vile taste of blood which had accumulated on his palate. Misty stepped away in her squeamish fright, denying Ash the one comfort of his red-cheeked rodent. As soon as her wild, unprecedented show of hysterics had ceased, Sasuke lead them noiselessly through the secret ways of the forest, his Shuriken swiftly goring every new Pokémon that delayed them. No one really concerned themselves for Ash, except for the Pokémon.
"They don't like him." Brock explained. "Except for Pikachu."
By the time they reached the next village, Brock could not withstand the lust with which his feelings had been tempered, like a molten forge revealing the hard tang of steel. He uncapped his bottle of orangeade, and poured it over his naked chest in one final attempt to cool himself. But the whisper of its sugary juices, carving paths down his abdomen, only drew another of Sasuke's heated stares, the likes of which burnt a brand straight into his heart.
"For Fuck's sake!" Nurse Joy exclaimed. The thought of any Pokémon harmed, or besieged by a poison status— let alone left to suffer from excruciating malpractice at the hands of trainers—cast Nurse Joy into trembling throes of wrath until she began to spit her words like a rattlesnake. As she wheeled the gurney into the lobbey, such was the rage of Joy that she was incapable of advancing in a continuous straight line. Misty followed Pikachu and Nurse Joy into the operating room concernedly, leaving Ash to suffer a drooling relapse on the linoleum floor.
With the same aloof cruelty that had drawn the trainer to him like static, Sasuke picked up a lobby magazine and, skillfully tearing a sheaf from within, began to dab a drip of orangeade from Brock's congealed nipples. The depth of their love for one another began to ignite as Brock fondled his Kunai. Caressing his tender slits for eyes, Sasuke bowed under a wave of emotional susceptibility that had threatened to buckle his resolve many a lonely night. His hair, the color of abyss, engulfed the sight of their mouths suckling strong enough to cause contusions.
Just then, Charizard escaped from his Pokéball. Charizard flew skyward with an incensed flap of his wings, and with a foul roar, he shattered the dome of the Poké-center. A crystalline downpour of glass rained down on their slick bodies, grinding harmoniously to the sight of a shard-spangled floor.
"As a child I saw my family, and anyone I ever cared for, murdered before my eyes."
Brock passionately ripped the grip tape from his forearms.
"I know."
His brown, weather-beaten body formed a perfect compliment to Sasuke's own, and every hungry thrust sent chills of virgin ecstasy to the core of his very being. This fortuitous time was short-lived as Misty burst through the doors of the operating room and found them lying in a pool of their own sinful sperm, and the shattered roof.
"Oh my God!" she screamed. "Oh my God! Oh my God! What is going on? You had sex!"
Sasuke's first instinct was to reach for a Shuriken, but Brock stopped him.
"Charizard escaped. What's wrong?"
Misty wept openly.
"Pikachu's dead."