The world is full of miracles or so my brother says (the only one of us who closes his hands at night and prays for me and this rotten world) but I'm one that does not believe in any and all of it but maybe just for this one moment I'll believe in it all.

Because of who is standing before me, one Elle Bishop who should be six feet under and looking a little rotten.

"Elle?"

-

I lost both my mind and words, because my gun (that one that is always and will forever at my side for moments like this, moments of suffering or maybe joy?) wasn't out or aimed at the creature who had her face, the her that was forever in my mind was now in my line of sight.

"Dean?"

Instead of lunching for my throat (that was free to be ripped out thanks to stupid old me) she fell on knees before me and in the moment I knew that it was her, truly her.

Not freaking ninety present but hundred present Elle Bishop before me and I wasn't going to waste any of the time with her I shouldn't have.

"It's me, baby, it's me, son of bitch it's you, its you. I love you, forgot to tell you that before you left, just wanted to say it now."

"I l-love you, too."

(and hell, the one place where she was undeniably going to, loved her too)

-

'I have no words' was all she said about where she had went this whole month (ten years down in the pit, enough time to break the weakest soul but not her, never her, and not me) and every single one of those words had been said by me to the whole world even to myself.

"Shh, you don't have talk about it. I know, I know everything."

-

She wasn't truly her (when have I been truly me? My last day on earth, thats it) but unlike me she couldn't bury it all inside.

Smothering each and every memory that once-upon-a-time broke me, and she showed the whole goddamn world that she was broken into millions of pieces.

(and I was the only one that wanted to fix her, put her back together each piece at a time and why can't I?)

"Help me, Dean, make it all go away. Make it leave me alone."

In this one moment (a moment that I knew she would regret later on) this was the weakest I had ever seen her, the first time I saw the way her tears slide off her chin and the only thing I wanted to do was comfort her.

"I'm going to fix you, El, every last piece of you."