Today was a normal day for Phil. He did some productive scrolling through the internet, ate cereal and thought of an idea for his next video, and the BBC radio 1 show. Little did he know sleeping tonight would be ensure a change in his life. As he climbed into bed he was fell asleep straight away. This was perplexing to his sub-consciousness as he usually lay prostate thinking for many hours.
Phil woke up uncomfortably the next morning. He felt like he had eaten one too many toasted sandwiches and was feeling quite sick. As he waddled out of his bed and made his way to the bathroom he felt like something was wrong and was moving inside him. He looked down to see his stomach looming over his feet, as if it was inflated like a balloon. As he walked past a mirror suddenly he realised what was wrong. Absolutely flabbergasted he let out a gut wrenching scream which caused Dan to come running.
"DAN I'M PREGNANT!" cried Phil.
"OH MY GOD" screamed Dan "YOU WHAT?"
Phil crawled into the fetal position in a corner and started crying. Dan stood awkwardly staring at Phil, not able to find the words to comfort his distressed friend. In a rush of anxiety and adrenaline Dan instinctively ran into the kitchen and grabbed out the juice maker from under the fridge. In a fit of desperation, and perhaps even madness, he began to cut up fruits and vegetables. In a flurry Dan threw in all the healthy ingredients he could find. His brain was on autopilot. He soon came to realise as he was performing this task that he had no control of his limbs, and that his consciousness was being separated from his actions with each breath. The universe, confused by Dan making such a healthy beverage at such an early time in the morning began to implode upon itself. What Dan had done was defying the laws of science.
In front of him, time and space were ripping apart in a frantic attempt to restore order. In a heroic act, or an act of complete idiocracy, Dan drank the beverage. The trans-dimensional portal he had created began to swell and devour the room in its intricate darkness. In a leap of faith Dan dived head first into the unknown, for it was the only way to save Phil from pregnancy and from himself.
Inside was a collage of everything evil. Giant bobble heads of Justin Beiber and Tony Abbot littered the space time continuum. Inside was everything and nothing at all. With all his might, Dan wished to save Phil. To get back he did the unthinkable. In a spasm of energy and will to save his friend Dan was wearing a gym outfit. He began to do weights, then sit-ups, then jogging through the vortex. This again proved too much for the universe. Suddenly everything collapsed around him and he was back in reality.
Dan opened his eyes to find himself in a confined space, swimming in a strange liquid. Silly Dan, the only way Phil could have gotten pregnant was from a trans-dimensional portal. Dan is the baby inside Phil. The world has turned to despair.