I wake up in the middle of the night gasping for air, and I start shaking. Peeta wakes up with me, "It's okay, it's okay. It's just a nightmare."
It's been 15 years but I can't get over it. How do you get over something like that? I stare off into the distance when Peeta asks,
"Same dream?"
I stay silent.
It's a recurring dream of mine. I see all the events that took place ever since I volunteered for the Hunger Games. The fires, the scream, the blood, the lives. It's all snippets of events that happened over 15 years ago. But I can't let it go.
"I wouldn't call it a dream," I respond.
It starts of with Prim getting chosen, and then me volunteering. It then goes to my first interview with Caesar. Then to Glimmer, to Foxface, to Peeta, to Rue. It's all the same events. I see Finnick, and then I see Prim. They didn't have to die. I feel guilt for what happened to them. I feel guilt for every live lost.
"It's not your fault, you know that. We are safe now, our children are safe now and our children's children will be safe now," Peeta says.
"I know, I know. I just can't help it."
It's been 15 years and it's the same nightmare. When will they stop? I just want to sleep peacefully but I can't. Not after all that happened.
There is silence between us for a few minutes. We both know what we are thinking about.
When will we ever move on?
Will we ever move on?