If it was any other person, Seth wouldn't care. He could care less about other people and he has no intention of changing that. He had no problem I being called a heartless sell-out on a bi-weekly basis by millions of people.
But this…This was different.
[Three days ago]
He came home feeling tired and shit. He remembered Dean sleeping on the couch, wearing a DA shirt and a pair of shorts.
The younger superstar couldn't recall what happened but for some reason, they fought. They always did. It must have been pretty bad because Dean's heart-broken, crying face was still haunting Seth's conscience.
"You could have told me that!" Dean had snapped at him and Seth doesn't remember what his lover referred to by that statement. "I would have helped you, Seth!"
"I don't need your help! I don't want your help, Dean!"
"Why am I not surprised by that, Seth?! So what? Are you gonna tell me that you never needed me to begin with?"
Seth didn't even let him finish his sentence before unconsciously blurting out "Exactly! You finally get it! After, what, two years! Guess you aren't as stupid as I thought, Ambrose! Congratulations!"
Dean stared at him, the look on his face said all the things he couldn't say: 'Please, take that back.'
Seth went straight for their shared bedroom and plopped himself down onto the bed and was asleep in a matter of minutes. When he woke up the next morning, he was alone in bed and had no sign of Dean sleeping next to him the night before.
He shrugged it off, knowing that Dean probably slept on the couch to get away from him for a while. However, the Lunatic Fringe was not on the sofa when Seth walked out to the living room. Maybe Dean went to the gym early. Yeah, that made sense. The two-toned man went about his usual morning routine: Taking a shower, getting dressed, drinking coffee.
The phone rang and Seth picked it up after to rings. "Hello?"
"Seth?" Stephanie called, sounding breathless and desperate. "Seth, I am so sorry."
[End of flashback]
Seth now sat on the bed where he and his lover used to lay, trying to shake the memory out of his thoughts but Stephanie's announcement managed to make it back.
"Found him in an alleyway with a gun in his hand and a hole in his temple." She had said, successfully shattering Seth's hopes and dreams for him and Dean to pieces.
At the funeral, Dean looked so nice dressed in his black suit and tie. Those beautiful blonde curls hiding the bullet wound on his left temple. Seth didn't know how long he stared at his lover's corpse, feeling helpless and guilty. He was the reason why Dean was gone and that he didn't do anything to save his lover. The others glared at him and at one point, Roman came up next to him and asked:
"Was it all worth it?"'
That was the question that plagued him for the past three days, each of the people who'd asked him the question said it with as much vitriol as they could.
"Was it all worth it?"
'Was it all worth it?'
'Was it all worth it?'
"WAS IT ALL WORTH IT?"
Seth covered his ears with both hands but he couldn't stop the voices from his memories. He wanted it all to go away. He wanted to be happy again. He wanted…
He wanted Dean back.
"No," He muttered to himself as he brought his knees up closer to his chest. He laid his forehead onto the top of his knees as he finished his sentence.
"No, it wasn't worth it."
A/N: What have I done? I'm so sorry if this was too sad! I intended for this to be fluffy and then I created this!