Chapter 1: Punishment
POV's: Edward, Esme, Alice
NOTE: the italics is the people's thoughts. In Edward's point of view, the character will be specified, in anyone else's it generally will be them thinking to Edward.
Ed POV
What happens when Jacob, the mutt we've come to tolerate for Bella's sake, is over, Bella is still human, Carlisle goes to work and Esme goes to Mitre 10 you ask?
Utter chaos.
Twenty minutes. Esme's been gone twenty minutes and her house is destroyed.
God Dammit! Esme is going to have a fit!
Bella and Jacob are in her room, doing who-knows-what, though if you listen hard enough, you'd hear them laughing…
Before I can go and rip Jacob Black's head off, Jasper runs behind me, crouching down and holding me in place.
"Your shield won't protect you Jazz-Hands!" Emmett, only Emmett would say something like that, yells.
"What are you two idiots do-" I start, cut of by bright green paint washing over me, coating me from head to toe.
"Uh oh." The large idiot murmurs.
"EMMETT!" I yell.
…I'm dead…
Yes Emmett, yes you are.
I spin around to attack Emmett when a blonde and black hurricane spins through the room.
Alice? Rosalie?
The last I knew the two were shopping online for Bella…
…That little slutty pixie!...
…My dress! That's my dress...
Wait a minute… this horrible screeching… the shredding of Esme's Italian leather couch is over a dress? Because the both have the same dress…
…Emmett said…
…Jasper said…
"EMMETT! JASPER!" I yell, of course it was those two idiots! They always start the 'wife wars' to see who has the strongest mate.
I repeat… idiots.
With the intent of strangling my brothers I run into the living room.
Where I am nearly crushed by plaster and the ceiling supports.
"What the…?" I murmur, receiving a reply in the form of Emmett shoving his large head through the hole.
"EMMETT!" I scream, for the billionth time today.
…Wow. Jasper was right, he actually shakes in anger. Shit!...
"WHAT THE HELL EMMETT?" I yell, on my last nerve.
"I got sick of using the stairs…"
"You're kidding me right?" Emmett shakes his large head, no. "YOU GOT SICK OF USING THE STAIRS?" I yell again.
Just as I calm down significantly, I hear several 'clangs' from the kitchen followed by a, "stupid kettle, why you no boil?" bang, bang, clang.
Oh no. Please Jasper, not Esme's kitchen. Please!
I run super-speed into the kitchen and gasp.
"no."
Esme's pristine steel kettle (with the plug lying over the bench, may I might add, no wonder it didn't boil!), oven, fridge, freezer, utensils and other kitchen equipment are crushed, smashed, and shattered, looking like lumps of twisted metal.
"J-Jasper!" I don't even yell this time. I'm in shock, "What have you done?"
"Oh, hey Ed!" Jasper says, as he walks out whistling a merry tune.
"I…ah…JASPER!?" I yell. Oh god, how will I explain this to Esme?
SMASH!
"WHAT NOW?!" I ask, the smashing noise hitting my last nerve, as I run into the living room.
"Hi Edward!" four voices chime out. I eye each of my siblings, raising an eyebrow when I realise that they are standing in a line, cutting off my view of the coffee table.
…he's going to be as bad as Esme… I'm going to be as bad as Esme about what Emmett?
…I'm a barbie girl, in a barbie world… Alice, who else?
…sex with Emmett, sex with Emmett… Rosalie, and EW!
…Uh oh brother, I'm sensin' a bit of tension… Jasper.
All of this is, of course, very suspicious so I give each of them a hard glare and ask very tersely, "What. Have. You. Done?"
Emmett, probably being the guilty culprit, suddenly runs off yelling, "I WANT MY LAWYER PRESENT BEFORE I ANSWER ANYTHING!"
And his empty spot right in my line of sight, reveals the shattered antique glass coffee table my mother so very much cherishes.
SHATTERED! DESTROYED! HOW THICK CAN THE IDIOTS GET!? DON'T THEY REALISE THAT WE'LL DIE FOR THIS! IN A FEW SHORT HOURS WE'LL ALL BE ASH IN THE FRONT YARD! Maybe Esme will spare me; after all, I have been trying to keep her house in order, I am her first created-born, I am the good child that always calls her 'mom.'
She won't.
I sigh and face my three remaining siblings… oh, did I forget to mention the giant hole Emmett left in the glass wall as he ran out screaming bloody fucking murder?
"Who did this?" I surprise myself by remaining calm.
"EMMETT!" they all chorus, pointing in the hole in the glass wall.
"How?" Of course it was Emmett. IT'S ALWAYS EMMETT!
"He… well, he fell from the roof!" Alice giggles.
Yes Alice, it's real funny that Esme has a hole in her roof and glass window, her floor is covered in paint and human food… her new kitchen destroyed and her favourite glass table shattered, pieces sticking out of the cushions of the shredded couch… real funny.
"We are so dead…" I groan.
"Yes you are…" we hear from behind as I hear three simultaneous gasps of horror.
ESME!
Es POV
MY HOUSE!
What happened to my house?
There have better of been a vampire attack or… or… something SERIOUS to justify this… this disaster!
Edward, obviously being a good boy and reprimanding Alice, Jasper and Rosalie - where's Emmett? - moans.
"We are so dead."
"Yes you are…" I say, watching them with sick satisfaction as their faces all twist into terrified expressions (PERFECT!) and Edward spins around with an 'I tried mommy' expression.
…I know you did son, I know you did…
"Mom…" Edward tries to explain…
"BELLA, JACOB, EMMEEEEEEETT!" I yell, cutting him off.
They hurry down the stairs, Bella lagging behind.
"YOU LITTLE MONSTERS! LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID! MY HOUSE, YOU MONGRELS, MY HOUSE!" I scream.
"Mom…" an alien… no, wait… that's… Edward? Why is he green? … says.
"Edwaaard… my good, green child! I can rely on you… why are you green? What did the horrors do?"
…burn baby burn... I picture his darling piano being torched, by yours truly, so he will obey.
"NOOOOO! It was Emmett! IT WAS ALL EMMETT! IT'S ALWAYS EMMETT!" Edward yells, on the verge of a breakdown.
"Son. Calm down." I say soothingly, I mean, after all Edward's the good child, the reliable one. I HAVE to like him… "First things first, why are you green?"
"Emmett was throwing paint… EVERYWHERE! He decided to coat Jasper, who used me as a shield, and voila… I'm green… and thanks mom…" he explains. He doesn't sound very grateful… what did I do?
"EMMETT!" I screech.
Bella jumps.
Poor girl.
Stuck between a werewolf – stinking mutt – and the logical choice, my amazing, so much better for her, son, the vampire.
I almost feel sympathetic, then I remember what took place in my house.
The Monster.
"So that explains the paint on the floor…" an unexpected, but welcome voice comments.
"CARLISE! HUSBAND! COME SEE WHAT YOUR MONSTER CHILDREN DID TO MY HOUSE!" I yell.
"Honey, calm." Carlisle says, and I calm instantly, before he mutters, "my children?"
"So the paints explained," Carlisle continues, "but the human food?"
Yes, I want to know why food has been trodden into my creamy white carpet… OH NO! THAT'LL NEVER COME OUT!
I'll just buy a new one.
"Well, that's the logical thing to do…" Edward mutters before explaining, "Before the paint, Emmett had a 'food fight' – one sided of course – against everyone."
"So basically he threw food at everyone for no reason!" Alice further explains.
"EMMETT!" I yell, again.
"The couch?" Bella asks.
Monster! It's my job to interrogate! Shush!
Edward twitches for a couple minutes – whats his problem? – before answering, "Emmett and Jasper started the 'wife fights' again."
"The wife fights! They sound like fun… I mean… That was very wrong of you boys, wrong indeed!" Carlisle mutters.
"EM-" I start.
"I know, I know," he saves me the trouble.
"Mom…" the good child speaks up, "there's more!"
"MORE?"
"EDWARD!" Everybody yells at him, the incriminating evidence everywhere…
Did they really think that I wouldn't notice…?
"Yeah, they hoped you wouldn't notice…" Edward replies to my thoughts.
"What else, my good green child?" I ask reluctantly.
"Emmett…" he starts.
"Why is it always me?" Emmett moans.
"Because you're the one who does the immature and stupid stuff!" Edward comments, before continuing.
"Emmett got sick of using the stairs…" Emmett looks awful sheepish, why do I get a bad feeling from that? – "so he put a hole in the roof, nearly crushing me with debris."
My motherly instincts overrun my protective house instincts and I rush over to Edward giving him a once over, checking him for damage, before pulling him to my chest and squeezing him in a massive bear hug.
"I'm okay mom… I love you too…"
"aw. Isn't my boy nice?" I ask Carlisle.
"Wait, I thought you said they were my kids?" he asks.
"The monsters are, but the good alien's mine," I reply.
"Alien?" Edward asks.
"You're green," I state as an explanation.
"What else?" I ask to break the awkward silence.
"Well, it seems Emmett forgot about the giant hole in his bedroom floor, and fell right through it onto your-"
"NOOOOO!" Everyone yells.
Edward ignores them and continues, "Antique coffee table."
"The glass one?!"
Edward just nods.
"YOU EVIL LITTLE MONSTER! I WILL KILL YOU! HOW DARE YOU RUIN MY HOUSE? MY ANTIQUE COFFEE TABLE CARLISLE GOT FOR ME?! WHY? WHAT DID IT DO TO YO?" I scream.
"I – I" Emmett tries to explain.
"No. You are bound to silence."
"Anything else?" I ask Edward.
"Emmett ran through the glass wall… screaming for a lawyer, and before that, he had a temper tantrum and set Jasper off. The kitchen is crushed." He explains.
I race into the kitchen with everyone else following.
To their utter shock, I didn't say anything, just take a deep breath… I can't see why it's shocking though…
Ed POV
Everyone was looking at anything but Esme except for me, giving Esme the puppy dog eyes.
Everyone is silent… until, well… Emmett, who else?
Es POV
Emmett starts yelling at Edward.
"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT EDWARD!" he yells.
"What? How?" the alien-boy asks.
"BECAUSE YOU TOLD ESME!?"
"So, let me get this straight… you're mad at me for telling the truth?" Edward asks completely unbelievingly, raising an eyebrow.
"YOU STUPID LITTLE!"
And of course Emmett's anger fuelled Jasper, which caused everyone but Carlisle and me to be angry at Edward.
"ENOUGH!" I yell.
Review and let me know what you think… and ideas for the punishment!