A/N I usually don't write Tiva but I was experimenting today and decided to post this. I am 13 and I am taking this summer off to really improve my writing skills so if you have any feedback, suggestions or, corrections you are free to tell me in a review or PM me. Ziva may be out of character but that's what feedback is for, to help improve.

Lies, it is what makes humans well, human, besides our thumbs, the ability to adapt and learn, and other things. Lies are not necessary nor are they mandatory, they are just there. Lying is an instinct per say. When you are a child and you know you have done something bad your first instinct is to lie, even when your parents say "it's ok, tell me the truth" you feel the need to tell a lie. Then after that stage the lies become more than just petty fibs, they became more hostile much more needed because by then the lies had piled up. The lies turn immense, from the just oh well, no one got hurt, to causing emotional injury. And by the time you realize it, the lies have adapted to a life style, to something so familiar you don't even know that you are lying until the damage is done but, after that it can't be fixed with another lie, and you are forced to tell the truth.

Ziva, you wouldn't think that she was an impulsive liar, because she wasn't but, like just like every other person on this Earth, she is indeed a liar. Often times the lies were for her job, but in other situations they were for her, to keep secrets hidden. To keep what Abby would call MOAS or, Mother of All Secrets.

One MOAS that she had failed to keep secret was a couple of years ago. Her father had sent her and her half brother Ari, on a mission. When Ari needed some assisting she came to help, at least that was her first intention. But then she had gotten caught, not in a way you would expect, almost the opposite.

She had been caught by none other than Jethero Gibbs. He was different but in some ways was fairly alike to her father. The difference was that he treated his team with discipline but when needed he comforted them and that's what had caught her. She couldn't understand why this group of people was tugging at her heart string or, how they could even get to the heart she had build a brick fort around. She didn't understand at all, but they kept tugging at her heart strings until she gave in. But when she gave in she gave omission causing a lie to occur. She had failed her mission and dishonored the spark of trust Ari and her father had given to her, once again continuing the endless cycle of lies.

Then there is guilt. Guilt is the consequence of a lie, because guilt will eat you out. Guilt would make you do stupid thing just to satisfy yourself for a moment. Guilt would have you deepen yourself into a pit of sorrow until you dug up a trip to hell, a place you would gladly go to. And you wouldn't care that you were going to Hell because your guilt is telling you "You deserve this you monster." Then there was Tony and sometimes she felt the need to punch at him like a punching bag, to release her anger, to release her guilt.

She had her gun on his chest. She was just so Damn angry so confused. He cares but then he doesn't, he only cares for her as a friend she thought. "You put four in his chest." she said her eyes threatening to do something she knew was not even possible, to kill Tony. She led the gun down his leg to his knee swiftly. "You could have shot him in the leg."

The guilt was there but when she needed to be at the appointed place she wasn't there and that's why she couldn't save her lover. She could've saved him if she was there but, she didn't. One part of her heart told her she needed Tony, the other part told her she hated him, but she didn't. Her heart insisted she did but, she didn't so the cycle of lies continues while her heart continued to play games.

Finally there comes a point where your heart can't take anymore. Till that bottomless pit becomes too deep and you feel the hot fire coming for the pit burning you, and you want to escape. You're so confused you just want it to end, the lies, the pain, the fear, and that's when you decided to let it all go. You let it all go by doing the one thing you tried to avoid since the lie began it's called the truth.

So she ended up at this bar. She was so drunk her head was spinning yet, she persisted glass after glass. She wasn't Ziva the agent here. She was flirty her guard down after consuming all the alcohol. It was about 1:00 when she felt someone poke at her back. It was Tony.

"Hey Tony" she said drunkenly her voice rising happily as she said his name.

Tony just looked at her.

"Come on Ziva." He said nicely just wanting to get her home.

"You know what I like about you Tony? You are so nice, why are you so nice to me?" She was standing up wobbling from side to side. She was about to fall when Tony caught her. He lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist and placed her arms around his neck. She started placing kisses on his neck in illusion as he carried her out of the bar.

N.C.I.S

He was at her house, it wasn't far but he wasn't going to risk letting her go home by herself at such a time of night. As he placed her on the bed she looked straight up into his eyes. His eyes were so kind, so lovely, so sweet, most of all understanding. As she looked up at him she seemed to muster up just enough sense to say "I love you." He looked back at her silent. He covered her up and then placed a kiss on her forehead, and then he walked out of her room not answering back.

It wasn't an "I love you too" and she didn't expect that. But one thing is certain, she was tired of lies. She was tired of hoping. So she allowed herself to tell the truth because damn it, she couldn't take anymore lies. She had told Tony she loved him and if there is any place to start telling the truth, she would start with her heart.